Episode Five: The Movie Cliché Comes to an End!

From my place behind the grandiose stage, I can't get a very accurate picture of the crowd that's formed in front of it. The air is practically humming in anticipation of what's to come…

The public execution of Mondo Owada.

I let out a shaky sigh. "No no… not if I can help it."

I hated this plan the moment I thought of it. It's risky; far riskier than I would have preferred. Mondo, of course, thought it was briliant.

"It's better than letting that asshole burn the town to the ground and murdering Marie!" He'd said. "Besides, if you're lucky enough to have a gun blow up in your face and get away without a scratch, I'm sure that you can at least make this work!"

I feel another wave of nervous nausea hit me. Mondo, like Akane, seems to think I have control of my Ultimate ability.

I pinch myself in an effort to get a grip. We're too far in to this plan for me to be having second thoughts.

It was a simple idea; fight a movie cliché with a movie cliché. The contents of that camera not only told us who masterminded the recent attacks, but also what they'd hoped to gain from it.

In order for the plan to start though… Mondo had to go turn himself in. It was the only way to make certain that last night's attempted raid was put to a stop. Not only that, but a public event such as this one was the only way to make sure everyone learned the contents of that video.

I peek through the small gap between the floor of the stage and the massive monitor. Mondo is once again bound head to toe in control collars; only this time, he's been chained down into a kneeling position, seemingly hanging his head in penance in front of the crowd. His face is drawn, a tight lipped frown gracing his lips as he makes certain to only look at the floor.

Like a man that knows his life is about to end.

A pair of legs obscures my view of the gang leader. I guess that means it's show time.

I immediately set to work as soon as I hear the screen hum to life, hoping to god that no one can hear me working over the voice of the man on stage.

"Today," He begins, voice almost overbearing in it's smugness. "Is a truly a remarkable day. Today, we will finally receive the justice we've long since given up on! The demon that kneels before you here will finally be dealt just punishment for the atrocities he's committed!"

The crowd roars in approval, boos and curses being thrown at the man like rocks. I speed up my work, hoping to god that I'm able to do this right. I was never especially tech-savvy with anything aside from the odd game console, so this feels like I'm trying to solve a rubiks cube.

"Not only have we captured this monster," The man continues, fueled by the crowd's rabid energy. "But we've all but slaughtered every single parasite he led against our fine town! We were able to thwart their final attack, and return the favor to them ten-fold!"

The crowd rips into a frenzy once more, the man's speech clearly having the intended effect. As I continue to fumble with the mass of cords, something the man says catches my attention in the worst way possible.

"…with that meaning, that our now former mayor Ms. Leblanc, is to be imprisoned and tried to the fullest extent of the law! Mark my words, that woman will never see the light of day again!

"What do you mean, you sick bastard!?" Mondo yells, effectively silencing the man as well as the crowd. "We had a deal! You said you'd leave her out of this!"

The man in question lets out a chuckle, as if he'd been told a funny joke. "We don't negotiate with terrorists! She aided you over her very own father so many years ago! That tramp would have sooner seen this town burnt to the ground than let you face us!"

This statement garners fewer cheers from the crowd. Clearly Marie has had some impact on these people; even I can see their reluctance in believing their former leader to be at fault in any way. Mondo himself goes into a despair-laden silence... which I can only hope is part of the act.

Just as I finally manage to get the camera hooked up to the monitor, a sharp pain causes me to seize up.

"Hey boss!" I'm heaved to a stand and dragged towards the stage. The man struck me right on the juncture between my shoulder and neck, making it incredibly hard to resist as he yanks me forward. "Seems like there was one rat we hadn't quite smoked out yet!"

"…" The crowd stares in awe as I'm hauled up on stage and flung next to Mondo. I try to stand up, but I'm practically stomped on by the very man who was grandstanding not moments ago. I crane my neck around to glare at the man; the very man who has made so many people's lives a living hell.

Stanley, Marie's seemingly pompous advisor, is looking down on me like a bug to be smashed.

"Oh? Aren't you the one who spirited Marie away for a rendezvous with this degenerate during that last raid?" He quips. If he didn't have that stupid moustache covering his mouth, I'm certain I'd see him smirking. "How kind of you to attend your lord's funeral."

I don't dignify the man with a response, instead glaring up at him. This displeases him apparently, as he then digs his foot into my back. I bite back a yelp.

"You know…" He says, sounding completely flippant considering the situation. "Maybe I'll take this opportunity to lecture you all on what's wrong with society… It's the weak. The weak cling to the strong as if it's their only means of living. They leech off the strong. Take this parasite here," He puts more pressure on my back as he continues to grind his foot into it. I let out a cry of pain this time. "Unable to exist on his own, he comes to throw his life away in an attempt to save this demon brat. A pity, isn't it?"

The crowd is completely hushed. He continues.

"Watch now, and heed this warning." He removes his foot from my back, only to drive it right back in with twice as much force. All the air is forced out of my lungs, and I can barely hear Mondo yell out next to me. The next few words coming out of the bastard's mouth completely go over my head, and continue to until I'm finally able catch my breath and manage to look up towards my aggressor.

"…this is what happens, when a weakling goes against the strong!"

His foot, rather than going for my back once more, is heading directly for my face.

"Like fuck you will!"

The next thing I see is Mondo standing where Stanley was just moments before, bits of chains and wiring from the collars falling off his form. Rather than letting me get hit again, he chose to break his "captured" façade and tackle him with enough force to smack him into the massive monitor behind him. To my dismay, it'd only been showing what was happening to me, but…

"Augh!"

As soon as Stanley smacks into the screen, the picture fizzles and cuts out completely. A shrill buzz breaks through the silence, and after a moment, the contents of the video Mondo and I saw begin to play for all to see.

"I should have known it was you… Stanley."

From the vantage point of the camera, we see Marie standing in front of her desk at gunpoint between two thugs. Stanley, the man behind it all, is sitting at her desk, looking very pleased with himself.

"Well, not just anyone could come up with a plan like this." He leans back in her chair, even having the audacity to prop his feet up on the desk. "Having my men terrorize the town as the Crazy Diamonds was a no brainer for someone like me; that's why I chose to start my plan with this dump. They already had a reputation before I even got here!"

A hushed whisper passes over the crowd as Stanley looks on in horror at the video evidence.

Clueless to his future self's plight, video Stanley continues bragging without mercy. "Not only is this one of the bigger towns of the region, it also doesn't hurt that you have such good relations with the four towns surrounding you. Once I assume control here, extending my reach that far should be child's play!"

"Why though?" Marie asks, voice hoarse. "What would possess you to do this? We've been working together for years!"

"Ha! This was the plan from the beginning! I needed to work my way into political power; none of those brainless civilians would think twice about the character of a trusted government official!" Video Stanley lets out a bark of laughter, flicking a pen at Marie's head. "Ah, that sob story I heard about before I came here really was a stroke of luck… The mayor's daughter planning to elope with a known gang member! I'd have to be comatose in order to pass up such an opportunity!"

Marie stiffens visably. "Where… did you hear about that?"

"Idle gossip from street merchants." He waves her off, this clearly not being the topic he wants discussed. "Now then, phase one of my plan is finally going to bear fruit! You should consider yourself lucky that you'll be one of the first to die; things are going to get a bit… messy, from here forward."

"And?" Marie presses, although you can tell from the video that Stanley was more than eager to explain his "master plan" to the woman he considered to be dead already. "What is it that you plan on doing once you get control of the area?"

I brace myself for what I know is coming next.

"Why, that should be clear by now…"

The most overused, overdone motive for every action movie villain ever…

"Of course I'm planning to take over the world!"

The video cuts off unceremoniously after those words leave his lips. The silence that's fallen over the crowd is unnatural, as if someone stripped them of their ability to communicate.

"…snk."

One snigger, then two. After a moment spent valiantly fighting the inevitable end, the whole crowd erupts into hysterical laughter.

"W-World domination? Is he high?"

"Pff, what, did he watch one too many James Bond movies?"

"What a dumbass!"

"Who the hell would listen to a dictator named Stanley!?"

Amidst the giggly chaos, Mondo helps me to my feet. "You alright?"

The very action of standing is almost pure agony. "I wouldn't… say that." I start to sway, forcing me to grab at Mondo's shoulder for support. "I don't understand… he doesn't look that strong, and yet…"

Mondo glares over to where Stanley is. He's just… standing there, while his grunts buzz around him. "…Makoto. You feel it too, right?"

I'm about to ask what he means, but then I feel it.

It's not the most obvious thing in the world, honestly; if I weren't paying attention now, I could probably have missed it entirely.

Pressure.

An undeniable pressure is coming from where Stanley is standing. Everyone in the crowd, as well as his cronies, seem to be completely oblivious to it.

"What… what the hell?" I grind out. "What's this feeling?"

"My bro Daiya explained this to me once…" He continues. "When an Ultimate uses their power, especially a strength type, the air around them starts to get heavy. I dunno how to explain it exactly, but normal people don't feel it as well as other Ultimates do…"

A smack reminiscent of a gun going off sounds through the area, bringing all laughter to a screeching halt. Everyone's eyes turn towards the stage, right to where Stanley is…

…as well as the body of one of his men, decapitated with a single swing of an arm.

"Is all that laughter quite finished now?" He asks, overly pleasant tone casting an ominous atmosphere over the area. He grabs a handkerchief and dabs at the blood that had splattered on his suit. "You drivel are always the same. Stanley is a dignified name; a strong one. A concept you'll never be familiar with I fear."

The crowd rips into a frenzy instantly. People begin to try and flee, but any hope of escape is dashed when thugs who were mixed in the crowd pull out guns. Hysterical cries from women and children are the only sound in the area as the whole town is effectively taken hostage.

He looks down at the cuff of his suit and sighs. "A shame. I rather liked this suit..." Then, without warning, he displays his power once again on an unsuspecting goon standing next to him.

It's horrifying to see a headless body, but it's ten times worse when you see the deed in action. With a swing of his arm, what would be- should be- a normal slap obliterates the man's entire skull on contact. There isn't as much blood as there is in the movies… making the situation that much more real.

"It does feel nice though." He muses, simply shaking the blood off his arm this time. "I hadn't used my powers in a very, very long time… I was afraid I'd be weaker."

"You…" I stand there, shocked to the core. "How could you just…?"

"These men are tools to me, nothing more." As if to prove his point once more, he all but rips a man's arm off as he tried to get away. "It's like using a tissue, if anything. You two should be familiar with this feeling as well, being Ultimates and all."

I feel anger boiling from the pit of my stomach. "You monster…! Don't lump us in with the likes of you!"

"Oh?" The man muses. The way he looks down his nose at me is borderline infuriating. "I knew you were a weakling to begin with, but you really must be joking about him." He gestures to Mondo, who I feel tense up beside me. "You mean to honestly tell me that you think he's never taken a life?"

"…" I shake my head. "No. I-I know he has… but not for the same reason as you!"

"Murder is murder child. The motivations mean nothing." Stanley shakes his head as he chides me. "How naïve you must be…"

"That's wrong though!" I step forward towards the man, pointing an accusing finger towards him. "Mondo… Mondo isn't the sort of person to kill for fun, or even because he thinks someone is below him!"

He chuckles. "Ah, the ignorance of the weak… Someone like you will never understand what it feels like to hold someone's life in your hands, to choose whether to let them live or rip them to shreds… Truly, a weak Ultimate such as yourself is-"

"If anyone here is weak, it's you!" I say. Stanley's apparent shock at my outburst urges me to continue. "Physical strength isn't everything! You use your power to intimidate people into following you, tossing them around like they're nothing if they mess up… if that isn't pathetic, then I don't know what is!"

This seems to strike a nerve, as his polite façade drops completely. "Just what would you know about strength, you little mongrel!? For that matter, what do you even know about the man standing next to you!? He's a monster! A demon! An absolute freak, even by Ultimate standards!"

"I may not know much about him…" I shake my head, barely even registering the words that come out of my mouth at this point. "But I've met his gang! Those people think of him as family- no, they are family! He was going to die for them! He's way stronger than you for that reason alone!"

"You insignificant little shit…!"

"I'll show you whose pathetic in this situation! Now…" He lunges towards me from the other side of the stage, ready to throw me into oblivion. "Die!"

A hushed silence falls over the area. The screams of the citizens are completely silenced by the spectacle before them; even the armed thugs have dropped their guard in favor of watching this unfold.

"You know Makoto, flattery will get you nowhere in life."

Mondo caught the man's wrist, holding him back from attacking me again. I would laugh at his constant heroics if the timing were better. "It isn't flattery if it's true."

He smirks back towards me in response, but quickly turns his attention back towards the man he has trapped.

"See… I've never considered myself a strong person. Daiya was always the strong one between us, even if he couldn't beat me physically." He glares at the man, who seems to be fuming. "He always put his friends in front of himself. Always. If that's weakness… I think I'd much rather die than be strong."

"You…!" Stanley shakes his head furiously, moustache fraying out of anger. "Pathetic! Pathetic pathetic pathetic! If that's how you really feel, I'll kill you where you stand!"

He swipes at Mondo with his other hand, fully intending to end him in one blow just like the others. Mondo catches this one as well, shaking the man to his very core.

"You really think swiping at me like that is gonna do anything?" He says this in an almost scolding way, as if he were talking to a toddler.

"Just… just what are you!?" He begins visibly trembling, falling to his knees from the sheer amount of force being exerted on his body. Once again showing his seemingly infinite strength, Mondo doesn't even seem to put effort into subduing Stanley. "N-No Ultimate could possibly be this strong…! You even have Control Collars on! How is this possible!?"

"You said it yourself. I'm a monster, remember? A demon…" Suddenly though, he lets go of the man, causing the whole crowd to back up from the stage instantly. "Tell ya what… I'll let you get one free hit on me. That way when I end your ass, I can at least say that you tried to put up a fight."

Stanley just stands there. "Are you truly so foolish!? Even with disgusting amounts of strength, there's no way you'd live if I went all out against you! Your cockiness will be your undoing!"

"Hey now," Mondo tuts, smirking over towards the man. "Who are you tryna to convince? I won't blame you for running, ya know? Pussing out seems like something you'd do, now that your shitty plan was put on ice."

"Are you trying to provoke me?" He asks. "You pest…"

The crowd watches with bated breath as they wait to see how this plays out. I'm no different of course.

"H-Hey, Mondo…" He glances over to me, smug amusement written plainly on his face. "Are you sure that you're okay with this?"

"Just watch and learn." He says, turning towards Stanley once more. "I'm a demon, remember? A total freak. I usually curse this shit power to hell and back, but… strength Ultimates gotta be able to take a blow, right? I don't think he'll even leave a bruise."

"…Very well." Stanley says, squaring up. "If that's how it's going to be, then I have no choice but to go all out!"

Even though he seems confident, I can see the slight tremor in his hands. His pride won't let him back down.

"Give me your best shot then!" Mondo taps his cheek. "Right here. You get just one chance."

Finally, he takes the bait. He's at Mondo's throat in an instant, but rather than hitting him…

He pulls out a gun.

The thing to know about Strength Ultimates is that they have a natural resistance to blunt force trauma. A normal person hitting an Ultimate of this typing at full force would probably feel like a light tap. As such, if two Strength types get into a fight with one another, it would normally equal out to be a normal fight. Mondo, being even stronger still, would ordinarily have no issue fighting this guy.

But this doesn't mean he can survive a gunshot at point-blank range.

My body reacts purely on instinct. I rush towards Mondo and slam into him as hard as I can. Just because he won't feel it much, doesn't mean it won't move him.

A shot rings out just by my head as we topple to the ground. I snap my eyes open to see a stunned Stanley staring at where a corpse should have been. He rounds on me in a rage.

"You little br-!"

And the next thing I know, Stanley isn't standing there anymore. The massive screen cracks and topples over with a loud crash, causing all present to do a double take.

"Hey Makoto!"

I turn my head so quickly that my neck pops, not being able to help the sigh of relief that escapes me as I see who it is. Talk about convenient timing.

"Akane!"

She waves from her place in the crowd, with a very livid Takemichi next to her.

"Did you really have to throw my bike at him!? You stupid cunt!"

The whole town is buzzing as the sun sinks over the horizon. Earlier, while Mondo and I were focused on Stanley, Akane and several members of Mondo's gang were able to get the jump on the armed thugs keeping the civilians hostage, as well as rescue Marie from the basement of the mansion. Once we fished Stanley out of that massive monitor, we slapped a control collar around his neck to keep him in line.

"We're fortunate enough to have our own police force in this town." Marie said. "Rest assured, he's going to receive a very just punishment."

None of us really felt like asking what she meant by that. Not that we cared much.

So here Mondo and I sit, on the very stage we were both set to die on, watching as the town celebrates around us. Rather than forcing Mondo and his gang out after the whole incident, the townspeople welcomed them back with open arms. As it turns out… a lot of the Crazy Diamonds had some very worried parents.

"…!" I let out a hiss of pain. Mondo did a great job at bandaging my torso, but the way that he's pouring alcohol on the gash from the pistol whip stings.

"Er. Sorry." He clips by way of apology. "Bruised ribs are all I'm really good at treatin'…"

I shake my head. "It's fine really! Those kicks from earlier hurt a lot more than that!"

"…Right. Sorry." He mumbles.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "For what?"

"I… prolly should have jumped in sooner." He grumbles, focusing on the cut. "Y'know, before he nailed you that many times."

I laugh. "It's fine, really! I mean…" I scratch my cheek a little. "If you think about it, had you stepped in sooner, Akane wouldn't have gotten there in time to stop him from gunning us down. Don't worry about it so much!"

"Gotcha…" He grumbles out something that vaguely sounds like "sorry" after that, and I sigh.

"You really need to stop apologizing. What's the matter with you?"

"…" He puts down the bandages and leans back, putting his weight on his arms. "…Y'know, I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to do with my damn self. Don't get me wrong; I'm so fucking happy that the guys can come here without being shot at or whatever. It's just… I don't really feel like I got a place here anymore. Daiya ain't here, and Marie has her own shit going on…"

I nod, contemplating his words. "But you still have your gang. It's not like they're gonna quit being the Crazy Diamonds because they got a little praise for once. If anything, they're going to take their new "protector" title seriously. They need a leader for that."

"…ya think?" His frown creases even deeper. Apparently, this is really bothering him.

"Well…" I roll my shoulder a bit before reaching for my shirt and jacket. "Honestly, I can't begin to tell you what to do. Maybe just try thinking about what you want in life. Do you want to hang around here with your gang? Help Marie out? Or maybe you'd want to go traveling and see the world?" I laugh a little at that one. "But seriously. Don't worry about it too much today. Try to enjoy tonight while it lasts."

In favor of giving him more time to brood, I quickly get dressed and hold a hand out for him to stand. "Come on then! Let's go meet up with Akane and get something to eat!"

He clicks his tongue, but takes my hand anyway. "You know, you're a damn fool. I could have accidentally crushed your hand just then."

"But you didn't, right?" I laugh. "You may have had problems controlling your powers as a kid, but it looks to me that you can be gentle now!"

"Weirdo." He gives me a light shove. "What part of me looks gentle, huh? You blind on top of being stupid?"

"Hey, looks can be deceiving!" I counter. "Besides, think about what you just did! You could have smashed a me-sized hole in the ground if you wanted to!"

He chuckles. "Fine. You win this one, brat."

"Who are you calling a brat?" I laugh, giving him a shove right back. "I'm a legal adult now, you know."

"…Seriously?"

I glance up to him. He seems to be confused. "Er. Yeah. Why would I lie about that?"

"What the hell?" Mondo stops and turns me towards him, seemingly comparing my height to his. "How can someone a year older than me be so small?"

"…" I stare up at him. "You're… seventeen."

"Well yeah." He sniffs a little, turning away. I don't know if he's trying to hide it, but he's full-blown smirking. "Oh well, I guess? Genetics are a bitch."

I scowl. "Now who's the brat? Just because you're bigger doesn't mean you have more experience than I do!"

"Experience?" He cackles, giving up on his half-assed attempt to hide his amusement. "Jesus Makoto, no wonder Akane gives you so much shit. You can't go around saying stuff like that with a straight face!"

"What do you-?" I choke when I realize what he's talking about. "Mondo!"

He starts to wheeze because of how hard he's laughing. It takes him a minute to regain his ability to speak. "Man oh man, I haven't busted a gut like that in years! You're a riot, you know?"

"Yeah yeah…" I grumble, completely unamused. "Are we gonna go get something to eat or not?"

"Only if you promise to teach me something with all your "experience" first."

…I really wanna smack that stupid smirk off his face.

Only just now realizing how red my face must be from the embarrassment, I turn away and start down the road again. "Y-Yeah, well, there isn't much I can teach in just a few hours! Akane and I are leaving tomorrow, so I'd rather not start something I can't finish."

I notice Mondo stops in his tracks for a moment, all laughter vanishing in an instant He quickly starts back up again, speeding up to match my pace. "Right… you n' Akane are heading out. Off to find your dad, right?"

I nod, keeping my eyes on the road ahead. "Yup. We don't even know where we're heading, so we can't really afford to stay in one place for too long. It's hard to relax without a solid goal in mind, you know?"

"So… yer just gonna wonder around till you find that weird mountain ya told me about?" He seems oddly pensive. "Ain't that kinda stupid?"

"Well… Marie said she'd do some digging for us." I sigh. "I know I shouldn't put all on her, but she's our best bet. Akane is less than useless with a map, and I obviously have no idea where this place is…"

"…" Mondo grunts. "Say, Makoto-"

"Makooooo!"

Our gazes whip to the other side of the road, where Akane stumbles out of the very restaurant we were heading to. If it weren't glaringly obvious she was drunk with how she was walking, it becomes a matter of fact when she nosedives right into the asphalt.

"Jesus Akane!" I rush over to scoop up my fallen companion just as a car is about to roll over her. "Are you stupid?! Why are you wandering around like that?"

"I wash lookin' fer ya Makoto!" She says, paying no mind to the steady stream of blood falling from her nose. I hurriedly grab a tissue out of my pocket and hold it to her face as she continues to talk. "Y' know, y' know, they have tha' best food o'er there! You needa 'ave some!"

"That was the plan until a minute ago…" I sigh. I guess I'll ask Marie for a sandwich later. "Come on. I'm taking you to bed."

"Whaa?" She tries to shake me off, but apparently her strength means absolutely nothing when she's this wasted... which, all in all, is a very good thing. "Buh Mako, it's so early! N' y' haven't spent any time w' me all day! Them gang peoples r' fun an' all, but not as fun as makin' fun of you! It's not fair!"

"Yeah, well neither is my having to babysit you…" I almost want to cry. It smells so good from here…

"Oi." I glance back to where Mondo has flagged down one of his gang members. "Get us food. I don't care what you pick, just make it good n' fast, got it?" The boy nods, and quickly dashes off to complete his task. I open my mouth to question him, but suddenly Akane's drunken body is yanked away from me… and flung over his shoulder.

"Where were you two staying tonight?" He questions.

I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to find the words. "…Marie lent us one of her rooms-"

"Fine." The boy Mondo had sent off comes back in record time, carrying two large bags of takeout. He grabs them without thought. "Let's get moving then. How the hell did you manage to keep her in one piece till now?"

"Uhm… well, there wasn't nearly as much liquor in the woods as there is here…"

"Ey!" Akane says, squirming around on his shoulder. "I don' want him to come! He stinks!"

"No more than you, you trashcan. When was the last time you took a fucking bath?" I can see Mondo's urge to pinch his nose written all over his face, but he doesn't have a free hand to do it.

"Prolly sooner than the last time Makoto took one!" She gripes. "Why ya' just picking on me, you bitch?"

"It's probably because he doesn't smell like booze someone tossed into a sewer!"

I discreetly sniff myself, thankful that I don't smell like that… though it could be better.

"Makoto, give m' a bath!" Akane squeals from her place on his shoulder. "I 'anna take a bath with you! Ol' man told me that's the best way for men to bond w' each o'er!"

Even though I know she's completely gone at this point, I can't help but blush. "Akane! You're not a man!"

"Ey, do you ev'n count as one?" She asks, looking serious as she thinks about it in her booze-addled mind. "Yer so tiny… so it's okay! Take a bath with me!"

Clearly fed up with her, Mondo roughly adjusts her on his shoulder. "I'll get one of the fucking maids to do it when we get there, you fucking she-man. Now shut up."

"Grh!" Akane's hand flys to her mouth. "Not so rough n' the goods, faggot! I'm gonna- hrk!"

Mondo stops in horror as she empties her stomach all over his back.

"You… you…!"

…May his jacket rest in peace.

The skies are clear as Akane and I make our way through the woods once more. Clean, fifty-thousand dollars richer, and fully stocked for a long journey ahead, I can't help but feel happy as I breath in the fresh morning air.

"God, why can't we turn down the fucking sun?"

Akane, on the other hand, doesn't see, to share my good mood.

"It's your fault for drinking yourself stupid last night." I chide. "Be grateful Marie gave you those sunglasses. You wouldn't be able to function without them, I bet."

"You'd bet right, if these things weren't so shitty." She gripes, snapping a poor, unsuspecting tree in half with a swift kick.

"Hey!" I say, turning on my heel to face her. "Don't take your hangover out on the flora! It didn't do anything to you!"

"It looked at me funny, so it started it!" She counters.

"A tree looked at you funny?" I shake my head. "Let's just keep going, okay? Marie said the next town is just a few day's walk, with a cozy inn on the way. If we hurry, we could make it there by nightfall."

She seems to perk up slightly at this, picking up her pace to match mine. "Yeah, 'bout that… what did she say about the mountain?"

"Unfortunately, "bear shaped mountain" wasn't something she could just Google and get a solid result. But, she did say that she'd give us a call once she found out something else."

"Fucking useless ol' bag."

"Prolly more helpful than you'll ever be, she-man."

I nearly trip when I hear that now-familiar voice from behind us. I turn to face him, knowing full well that shock is painted all over my face.

Mondo smirks, folding his hands behind his head in an almost leisurely way as he stands a little ways off from us. His jacket is missing (for obvious, vomit-filled reasons) and his hair is simply pushed back by a thin headband, rather than the style it was in yesterday.

Even after seeing the beat-up looking bag at his feet, I feel the need to ask a fairly obvious question. "W-Why are you here…?"

His smirk broadens as he shoves his hands in his pockets, calmly and confidently responding to my near-rhetorical question.

"Remember how you suggested I go out and see the world?"

A/N: Hey, see this thing absolutely no one saw coming?

An update!

(And, you know, friendship. That too.)