The lunch table always seemed a place of business to the South Park boys. Whenever something happened, Butters came running for the lunch table. Gossip, plans, and schemes circulated through the air as the boys chomped down on their Salisbury steak. Kyle always knew that his secret would come out at that table. One day or another, it would undoubtedly happen there.

Kyle had a secret. A huge, mega-secret secret. His entire life so far had been revolving around what he kept from everyone. Not even Stan, Kyle's super best friend, ever knew.

He hoped that they would never find out, never put two and two together and realize. Kyle was not Kyle. Not really. Her real name is Kylee, and she had been hiding her gender for years.

To fully understand why Kylee made this momentous decision, you would have to understand the South Park boys. Being a town of old-fashioned beliefs and traditions, women were generally (and covertly, in some cases) suppressed. A proud few could claim that they had risen above the age-old sexism that still lingers in the town, but even though their Mayor was a woman, and there were several prominent female members of the community, nobody could deny the fact that their town was a predominantly patriarchal society.

When Kylee grew up, her mother pushed new age feminism on her, making her dress in green overalls and green shirts to "make a statement". The first day of preschool was Kylee's first introduction to the children of South Park, and the first time she realized what it was like to be a female in this town. The boys pushed a table over to the corner and hoarded the best toys for themselves, claiming the girls were infested with the dreaded cootie virus. Of course, this was also Kylee's first introduction to all the chaos that happened in the town, when all the adults believed the cootie virus was real, and triggered a mini apocalypse. But before all that, she found herself in the middle of the room, stuck between the boys and the girls.

Stan had been the last boy to choose a toy and make a break for it. Problem was, the firetruck he had his eyes on was firmly in Kylee's little hands.

When he first approached her, she could see how hard he was thinking. Looking down at herself, she understood his caution. Her red hair was tucked up under her hat and the muddy overalls combined with her slightly feminine face made it hard to distinguish her gender.

It was at this moment that Kylee was forced to make the decision that changed her life. Should she, A) give Stan her awesome firetruck, and slink to the girls corner with her tail between her legs, or B) convince Stan she was a boy, and claim the perks of being on the non cootie-infested side of the room.

She smile timidly at him and he returned it. It was that smile that convinced her. Not the firetruck, or the cooties, or even the prospect of being shamed for being a girl. His smile made her feel happy, and accepted, and in that moment she decided that she wanted to be his best friend. Being only five, she had no idea what the concept of romantic love was, and so her thoughts immediately connected what most adults would call love at first sight to friendship and companionship.

She smiled brighter, telling him that she would share the firetruck if he wanted, and they both agreed to join the rest of the boys in the corner. It was the first moment of the next eleven years of her life.

They all sat around their favorite table, fresh out of the 10th grade, still relishing the brand-new feeling that came with the beginning of the new school year.

South Park was in the midst of an unsympathetic freak heat wave, which seemed not to care at all that a typical early September afternoon rarely breached the high sixties.

The whole school was hot and sticky, the air suffocatingly thick like syrup being poured all around them. Everyone was quieter and more reserved in the lunchroom.

Kenny had already died of heat exhaustion earlier that day. His body was carried away by rats quicker than usual, and nobody was exactly surprised when he walked back through the doors and confidently announced that it was hotter than Hell in there.

Being exceptionally irritated and sweaty, Kylee itched at her wrapped up chest. When she started to develop a few years ago, she had to choose again whether to give up her identity or to tape up her chest so tight that she just looked like a slightly muscular guy, with the added perks of limited mobility and inability to breathe very well.

One thing she's always been grateful for was Colorado's cool winters, allowing her to wear layers of coats and/or baggy sweatshirts. When it got hot, the sweat trapped under the tape and itched so bad that sometimes she accidentally dislodged it and had it start to unravel around her chest. She avoided that at all costs.

She sat among her friends on one of the hottest days of the year, during the hottest week of the year when temperatures reached their record high in over 40 years. Her skin crawled and itched, burning like a thousand bee stings that pinched her and made her squirm and sweat even more. She tried with all her might to not itch at the tape, but all the conversation around her kept fading to static as she tried and failed to concentrate on anything but the burning itch all over her upper torso and back.

She screamed in her head and felt her body temperature raise and raise, egging on the immense discomfort she felt. Her hands were covered in sweat, but that didn't matter, because she was sitting on them. It was almost like she was vibrating, she was filled with this crazed energy that made her want to jump up from the table and run for miles until she was in a town a few states over, where she could finally feel comfortable shedding her disguise.

She blushed and squirmed in her seat until she could take it no longer. She lifted her arms up and scratched viciously at the sides and back of her tape. The relief was immediate, lifting her up until she was simply filled with a happiness that was indescribable to anyone who hasn't experienced it.

She lowered her arms with a sigh and opened her eyes to find an entire table of boys completely silent and staring at her. Her heart plummeted into her stomach as she looked from face to face, trying to find an answer. Glancing beside her to her best friend she was met with a beet red face staring back at her. Stan's eyes were wider than she'd ever seen them, and he looked like he was going to throw up.

He coughed softly and sloppily gestured to her chest. She gulped and looked down, realizing that her tape had come entirely loose, falling to her waist and leaving her giant chest straining her shirt in a way that was extremely visible and obvious. Of all days, she decided to wear her South Park cows shirt, which was tighter than most of her other shirts when she was wearing her tape, and just really made a bad situation worse.

She felt herself turn such a bright red that she was afraid she would have a heart attack. She almost wanted to die on the spot, because all of her close friends were shocked, but not too shocked to admire the boobs that were basically exposed seeing that the shirt was completely unfit for someone of her shape.

"You're a chick?!" Cartman yelled across the table, successfully gaining the attention of every single other person in the lunch room. Kylee felt her eyes well up with tears and a giant knot formed in her throat. She stood up and fled from the room, and all the staring eyes of her friends.