"Vengeance is the act of turning anger in on yourself. On the surface it may be directed at someone else, but it is a surefire recipe for arresting emotional recovery."
-Jane Goldman
Unwilling Retribution
An Epilogue to XY062:The Future Is Now, Thanks to Determination!
". . . by the time you get to Limiose City, I'll be able to give you a battle worthy of a Gym Leader," Clemont said confidently as he stood in front of the helicopter.
Ash smiled back and replied, "I see . . . well, I won't loose no matter what!"
Clemont and Ash shook hands as friends, then Clement turned to Serena and said, "Serena, take good care of Bonnie."
Serena nodded and said, "Just leave it to me."
"I'll be fine, big brother!" Bonnie shouted, trying her best to hold back her tears.
Clemont smiled, knowing that his sister would be in good hands. He turned to the side and said, "Come on, Luxra-."
Clemont froze, and then started to look around frantically. "Luxray? Luxray!" he called out, but to no avail. Luxray had vanished.
Out on the Lumiose Badlands, Luxray lay on a rocky outcrop, the beautiful sunset framed behind him. However, its beauty was lost on the Gleam Eyes Pokemon as painful thoughts and emotions filled his entire body. It soured his stomach, pained his brain, and weakened his legs and tail. Even his hair and tail had a droop to them. His eyes had no gleam to them. Instead, they were moist and shimmering. He closed them, only to be assaulted with images and voices from the very near past.
"(Luxray! Luxray!)"
Luxray opened his eyes when he realized that the voice calling his name was from the present. He turned to see Pikachu and Dedenne scampering towards him.
"(Luxray! Why are you all by yourself out here?)" Pikachu asked.
"(Yeah! Clemont's really worried about you!)" Dedenne said.
Luxray turned away from them and said, "(I can't go back. Not after what happened-.)"
Much to the shock of all those present, Pikachu pulled his ears over his eyes and let out a loud groan of exasperation.
Luxray had quickly turned back to look at him, and he blinked his eyes in shock. "(What was that all about?)"
Pikachu let go of his ears and said, "(Do you have any idea how many times I've been brainwashed, hypnotized, or hit by a mind control ray? Not including Malamar or what happened today! Heck, I've actuallylost count!)" Pikachu suddenly stopped his angry tirade, and then began chuckling, "(It's actually kind of funny when you think of it. I get controlled, I zap Ash a few times, he pushes through it and does the whole 'I know you're in there somewhere, buddy' thing, either I break out or something else breaks me out of it, Ash and I hug, good guys win, bad guys loose, the journey continues.)"
Luxray scowled at Pikachu, resenting the fact that he was actually laughing in his presence while he was feeling the way he felt now. "(You don't know what you're talking about,)" he growled out. The deep voice he gained from his evolution made him sound intimidating, which he actually liked.
Dedenne squeaked with fright and hid behind Pikachu.
Pikachu stopped laughing and continued in a friendly, sympathetic tone. "(Luxray, if I felt as guilty as you do every time some bad guy tried to use me against Ash, then I'd probably would have crawled into a hole and died by now.)"
Pikachu stepped closer to Luxray. The Gleam Eye Pokemon was looking right at him, but the eyes were still not gleaming, only shimmering, trying to keep in the world of pain that was trapped behind them.
"(The thing you need to remember, Luxray,)" Pikachu said softly as he gently touched his paw to Luxray's black forepaw, ("Is that none of what happened was your fault. Team Rocket was controlling us. There was nothing we could've done except try to fight it from the inside. Ash knows it, and Clemont knows it. He doesn't blame you for what happened because he knows that it wasn't your fault. He loves you, Luxray. That's why he's going crazy trying to find you right now. So how about you stop feeling so sad, get up, and go tackle Clemont to the ground in a big hug! What do ya say?)"
Pikachu was beaming with pride. It was a great speech, if he did say so himself. Luxray should feel much better after that. Now they could all go back with everything happily back the way it was, if not even better from the experience.
"(Did you enjoy it?)" Luxray asked flatly.
Pikachu stared st Luxray, "(Huh?)"
"(Did you enjoy zapping Ash while you were being controlled?)" Luxray asked.
Confused at the odd question, Pikachu shook his head, "(No. Of course not. I would never enjoy hurting Ash on purpose.)"
Luxray closed his eyes and said in a soft whisper, "(I did . . .)"
Pikachu was frozen, not sure if he had heard correctly.
Dedenne peek out from behind Pikachu and asked, "(What'd he say? What'd he say?)"
Luxray's eyes snapped open, gleaming both with rage and with tears, and he jumped up and shouted, "(I ENJOYED IT, OKAY!)"
Pikachu and Dedenne stumbled backwards from the force of Luxray's outburst. They lay with their backs on the ground as Luxray launched into a tirade of his own, this one much more impassioned and emotional that Pikachu's, and made more intimidating by his deep voice. ("That's right! I enjoyed it! You hear me? I! EN! JOYED! IT! I enjoyed leaping at Clemont with my claws outstretched! I enjoyed Discharging with all my might into his body! I ENJOYED SINKING MY THUNDER FANG INTO HIS SHOULDER! There! I said it! Are you happy now?)"
Luxray then promptly fell to the hard rocky ground and began sobbing hard as memories began assaulting his mind.
'ATTACK. . .ATTACK. . . ATTACK. . .' sang the voice coming from the antennas.
Luxio heeded the voice command and tackled into Ash, knocking him away from Pikachu.
"Stop!" Clemont shouted as he ran to Ash's defense.
'ATTACK. . .ATTACK. . . ATTACK. . .' continued the voice.
Luxio was about to heed the voice again, when suddenly another voice echoed in his head. It was not like the voice of the antennas. This voice sounded . . . familiar to Luxio.
'(Yes. . . Attack him. . .Bite him. . . Make him feel the pain he made you feel . . .)'
Empowered by the new voice, Luxio sprang and sunk his Thunder Fang right into Clemont's shoulder.
The voice in his head laughed at the sound of Clemont shouting in pain.
"Luxio . . ." Clemont said weakly, "Luxio. . . It's me."
Luxio felt a feeling of elation as he did this. This was what he wanted to do. Although he was only half aware of what was going on and only barely conscious, something within him gave him a feeling of satisfaction as he poured all his power into attacking this human. He even yearned for the ability to laugh along the voice in his head.
Then the voice from the antennas suddenly became louder and stronger.
'ATTACK. . .ATTACK. . . ATTACK. . .'
Luxio gasped out loud as the laughing inside his head grew louder. He closed his eyes and started to writhe in pain.
"Luxio?" Clemont asked in concern.
'(Yes . . . you . . . the one who abandoned me . . . but now vengeance is mine!)' the familiar voice said inside Luxio's head.
Filled with a new righteous anger, Luxio used Thunder Fang on Clemont's shoulder a second time.
Clemont cried out in pain, this time even louder than before.
'(Yes! YES! Feel my retribution!)'
Luxio felt himself go into an emotional high as he fed electricity into Clemont. He felt emotions from his past; betrayal, anger, loneliness. He felt that they were finally all being paid for, in full.
"Luxio!" Clemont gasped out, clinging onto Luxio with all his might, "I'm sorry . . . it's painful, right? You must be suffering."
Luxio focused on Clemont's voice as the other voices began to fade into the background of his mind.
'ATTACK. . .ATTACK. . . ATTACK. . .'
'(It's nowhere near the pain that you caused me. . .)'
Luxio thought about what Clemont was saying. His thoughts wandered about as he continued his Electric attacks. '(What does he mean? I feel angry, but I'm not suffering. I'm thrilled by this fighting, this attacking. This is my revenge! He . . . hurt me . . .Yes, he did. . . he must suffer for it!)'
Luxio shuddered within. Did his thoughts and the familiar voice somehow merge?
"I will not give up either," Clemont said, "Until I save you that is."
"(Save me?)" Luxio thought.
Suddenly, the whole room was filled with red light.
"Clemontic gear, on!" Clemont shouted as his Aipom arm touched the floor. "Luxio, I will serve as your grounding! Just keep Discharging!"
'(Keep discharging? The fool! Fry him!)'
Luxio's mind going in multiple directions at once. All he could was nod and continue his attack. However, one thought was good and present in his mind.
'(Clemont deserves this . . .)'
There was a final burst of electricity, and then darkness.
Luxio regained his senses suddenly, and looked around the darkened room. He turned his eyes towards Clemont, who gave him one quick smile before falling forward into near unconsciousness. Luxio caught him on his back, wearing a frown on his face as he stared at the human.
'(You deserved it . . .)' he thought coldly, feeling like there was a thick fog in his head.
"Bro!" Bonnie shouted in concern.
"Clemont!" both Ash and Serena called out as they ran in along with Bonnie.
Luxio looked over at Clemont, who managed to avoid loosing consciouness. "Luxio . . ." he said with a smile as he gently rubbed Luxio's chin, "Thank you. You saved us."
Something compelled Luxio to lick Clemont's hand in endearment, which conflicted with his thoughts of disgust that still ran through his mind.
'(But wait,)' Luxio suddenly thought, '(Isn't Clemont my . . . closest friend?)'
A sudden surge of power enveloped Luxio as new memories resurfaced. He felt his body growing in size and changing as the Electric power within him got stronger.
As he felt himself evolving, Luxio recalled being a Shinx at Coumarine City, spending his day with a young college student. He then flashed forward to facing Team Rocket as a Luxio, only to have that same human come back and take a bullet for him. More memories continue to come, including various battles, watching Clemont cook, a beautifully crafted music box that he sat and admired under the Pledging Tree. . .
Suddenly, the familiar voice spoke to him again, but as it spoke, it grew softer and softer as if it were moving further and further away from him.
'(Token. All token. He never paid an actual price. Only now have you settled the score with the one who abandoned you for years. And don't lie to yourself and say you didn't enjoy paying him back . . .)'
With a final burst of light, the transformation was complete. He was a Luxray now.
It was all a blur after he unleashed a mighty Electric Terrain. He went through the motions of blasting off Team Rocket and standing by Clemont as the thank yous were given by the workers. It wasn't until after all that when he realized something truly gut wrenching.
The reason that familiar voice sounded so familiar was because it was his own voice.
"(I'm sorry!)" Luxray wept back in the present, laying on his side as his tail thrashed around wildly "(Clemont, I'm sorry! I don't hate you! You're my friend! It was all my fault! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!)"
Pikachu and Dedenne watched Luxray sob into the ground. They watched him for about a minute, and then Dedenne cautiously got closer to the much larger Pokemon. Dedenne gently patted Luxray paw. Luxray shyed away from the kind gesture.
Dedenne and Pikachu exchanged glances, then Pikachu stepped forward and made an attempt to speak. "(Luxray-)"
"(I'm pathetic,)" Luxray said gloomily.
"(No,)" Pikachu said.
"(I'm a monster,)" Luxray spat.
"(Definitely no!)" Pikachu said.
"(We're you listening?)" Luxray said impatiently, apparently all out of tears, "(I enjoyed attacking Clemont like that.)"
Pikachu thought for a moment, then he said, "(How about you tell us why you think you enjoyed it. Maybe we can figure out what it all really means, and you won't have to leave.)"
Luxray sniffed loudly as he thought about what Pikachu said, then he nodded. still wearing a frown, and said, "(Well, you know the story. Clemont and I were best friends at the academy. One day we were supposed to meet up, but he never came. He passed me up to hang around a bunch of stuffy arrogant humans who only cared about his inventions but could care less about him, leaving me all alone with no one to even acknowledge my existence for years and years without any hope of it ending, he just found some dupe to help him come up with an invention, play around with him because he didn't have any other friends anyway,)" Luxray's eyes were filled with hurt and anger, no tears, just rage. "(And then! And then! And then, when he's of no more use to him, he just left him hanging and forgot he even existed!)"
"(He didn't abandon you! The mayor took him away! Clemont came back every day after that to apologize, but you never came back!)" Dedenne cried out desperately.
"(Then I guess it was all my fault then!)" Luxray exclaimed in anger, "(And you know what? For weeks at a time long after I had decided to avoid Clemont, I would think about just that. 'Maybe something kept Clemont from coming? Maybe he wants to apologize? Maybe I should've given him another chance?' But by then, it was too late. He had already moved away. So for the rest of my days as a wild Pokemon I blamed both him and me, but it way easier to blame him!)"
Luxray took a few deep breaths to calm himself, "(And so it came to . . . that. Clemont did everything he could to show how sorry he was, but I just felt that it wasn't enough, so I used that mind control episode to hurt him, and I enjoyed it. And I was just as much to blame as him. And to top it all off, I evolved out of the hate I had for my best friend.)" Luxray shot a glance at Pikachu and said, "(Well, what do you think?)"
Pikachu shook his head and said, "(Luxray, what you did and how you felt doesn't make you bad. You just had trouble letting it out.)"
"(Letting what out?)" Luxray asked bitterly.
"(Everything you went through when Clemont broke his promise,)" Pikachu said, "(Clemont can't understand you, so you can never talk to him about exactly how you felt. You can't explain to him in words how horrible it was to be all alone as you blamed both him and yourself. I can't imagine how horrible that must of felt. But Clemont still came back for you when he found you again. He protected you, he apologized to you, he even gave you a choice if you wanted to be friends again. You knew he meant it, and you still remembered what a good friend he was, so you had to give him another chance.)"
"(But why did I have a voice in me saying that he deserved what I did to him? That I should be glad I did it?)" Luxray challenged, standing up and towering over Pikachu.
Unafraid, Pikachu continued, "(Because you and Clemont still didn't have closure. You can't talk with each other, so you didn't have a choice but to hold it in. Clemont was clearly making up for what he did, so you figured everything was alright. But you still had all that hurt inside. It needed a way to come out, but you were holding it in. But then when you got hit by Team Rocket's mind control, you weren't able to hold it in anymore, and all that bad stuff took you over with increased power, taking the form of that voice you say you heard. That's why you enjoyed it, Luxray. It was because you were finally letting go of all that emotional baggage. It was violent, sure, but all that matters is that you finally got to release it. It's like getting caught in a Serperior's Wrap for so long, and then finally getting free. Even if you had to Thunderbolt the heck out of the Serperior, it still feels god to be free. You're not evil, and you're not a monster. You're just like any other Pokemon who's had to hold in bad memories for so long. Maybe you could've held it in forever, or maybe it would have gotten too much to handle and you could've snapped and done something lot worse. In that case, maybe we owe Team Rocket one for helping you get it out. But no matter what could've happened, what I know for sure is that you and Clemont are perfect for each other. You both care about each other a lot, just like me and Ash-)"
"(Or me and Bonnie!)" Dedenne chimed in happily.
Pikachu nodded, "(Yeah, that's right. So you see now, Luxray? Are you done with feeling guilty and thinking that you can't go back to Clemont? Your best friend?)"
Luxray's eyes were wider than ever. Everything that Pikachu had said made total sense to him. "(Since when does a Pikachu know so much?)" he asked incredulously.
Pikachu chuckled and said, "(Easy! Ash and I have traveled through seven regions and met tons of other people and Pokemon. A lifelong journey like that tends to make you smarter. Gosh, the things we've seen and the stuff we've learned! I gotta admit, Ash and I were pretty naive and ignorant when we first started in Kanto. I was kinda overweight back then too. We-)"
Luxray held up a forepaw for Pikachu to stop and said, "(Spare me the autobiography please. Maybe another time. But assuming you are so smart, help me out with one more thing. My evolution from a Luxio in a Luxray was out of . . . the hate I felt-.)"
"(Are you sure it was hate?)" Pikachu interrupted, "(I mean, what were you thinking when you started to evolve?)"
At that moment, the gleam finally returned to Luxray's eyes. It looked as if he were having a sudden epiphany, an ah-ha moment, a realization he had failed to realize.
"(I-I was thinking that . . . Clemont was my closest friend. I was remembering all the good times we had . . . then the part of me that wanted revenge said some things, then it . . .faded away. . .)"
Silence followed Luxray's revelation.
"(That doesn't sound like hate to me,)" Pikachu said with a smile.
Luxray opened his mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say at first. Then he stared down at his forepaws for a bit and said, "(But what if those bad memories and feelings build up again? I won't be able to talk about them.)"
Pikachu smile just grew as he stepped towards Luxray. Pikachu stopped about an inch away from him, and gently patted Luxray's chin with his paw. Still smiling with honest kindness, Pikachu replied, "(You just did.)"
Back at the power plant, the group was still searching for not only Luxray, but Pikachu and Dedenne too.
"How did they slip out of our sight like that?" Serena asked aloud.
"I'll be they're looking for Luxray by themselves. I'm sure they'll bring him back soon," Ash said confidently.
"I hope so," Bonnie said with worry in her voice.
Clemont shook his head and said, "I don't understand it. Why would Luxray run off like that. After he was such a hero before."
"Maybe he feels bad about attacking you," Serena suggested.
"But that wasn't his fault. Team Rocket was controlling him," Clemont argued.
"I know, but maybe Luxray still feels bad about it," Serena said.
"Hmmm . . . maybe you're right," Clemont said thoughtfully, "Poor Luxray."
One of the power plant workers approached Clemont and said, "I'm sorry, but we need to leave now."
Clemont nodded, "Of course. You go on ahead. I'm not leaving here without Luxray."
After he said this, Clemont thought to himself, "I already abandoned him once. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."
"(ASH! OVER HERE!)"
"Pikachu!" Ash cheered as he and everyone else turned to see Luxray fast approaching them with Pikachu and Dedenne riding on his back.
Pikachu and Dedenne jumped off and ran to Ash and Bonnie respectively, while Luxray made a Combeeline straight to Clemont. Luxray tackled Clemont to the ground in a big hug and began licking his face repeatedly.
"Luxray! N-no! Stop! That tickles!" Clemont called out while trying not to laugh.
Everyone else, however couldn't help but smile and chuckle at the heartwarming scene playing out before them.
"I guess things are cool between Clemont and Luxray now," Ash said happily.
"(It certainly is!)" Pikachu added.
Luxray sat next to Clemont during the helicopter ride. He wished more than anything to be able to talk to his trainer and best friend, but right now, he was just glad that they could be together, and this time, nothing would separate them.
"Do you know where we're going, Luxray?" Clemont asked cheerfully.
Clemont then pointed out the window. Luxray looked out the window and his eyes widened with amazement. Before him was the beautiful Lumiose City.
"Home," Clemont said simply.
Friendship has no end . . .