Who are you to declare yourself my personal bodyguard?
Don't make me laugh, although at least you aren't a sack of lard.
Ragna, be careful that you do not cross the line.
You'd do well to know that you aren't even capable of replacing Valkenhayn.

Your words in your warning are simply filthy.
It represents a dog's loud barking so much, that it's a pity.
You must be quite a man if you say that me being a wife is a nightmare.
Do I really give you quite a scare?

You do not even know the true meaning of fear.
Do you know the power I have behind my leer?
For your letter, am I supposed to cheer for your warning to suitors that's absolutely queer?
I'd rather take lighting, make it into a spear, and shove it in my suitor's rear.

I am not the least bit pleased.
I can do well to take care of myself with relative ease.
You'd do well to remember that our marriage is not conventional.
I despise following the roles of marriage that are looked at as traditional.

If anything, you are the one who I'm supposed to be protecting.
You cannot even write a simple, coherent poetic letter with proper rhyming.
You have much yet to learn, my dog.
We do not sleep in the same bed yet because you loaf around like a big log.

However, you're right about a few things.
Suitors who flirt with me will be forced to sing.
They will be forced to sing with their screaming.
Screaming from the pain I'm about to inflict that will leave them flailing.

You are ugly, ill-mannered, and ill-tempered.
Yet it is your resiliency, endless confidence, and will, that leaves me enthralled.
However it is more likely that you'll be the one who'll be left appalled.

Once I saw your letter, I wrote my own with great celerity.
I just hope that we won't, because of you, become a pair of celebrities.
To conclude this letter, kneel before me Ragna.
I will forgive if you bend to my dogma.