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Pain was sitting at his desk in the dark, the only company he had was the thunderstorm outside. The lightnings outside was lighten up his dark doom and his shadow was dancing in the wall behind him. Pain was angry, or that was a lie he was furious! He had discovered a horrible truth and he realized that his existence was a lie. Was all his memories a lie? No it could not be a lie, he remembered hs kiss whit Konan and he remember his childhood and he could remember his old teacher Jirayia. But why had he begin to doubt his own existence? he looked down at his hand and another lightning bolt was hitting the air outside his window. His hand turned white and his teet was almost creaking under the pressure from the jaws. He studied the hand and was thinking wherry hard, it was like he was looking for something in his palm. The conversation between Konan and the guy that was called Madara was ringing in his ears.

- So how are Pain my dear Konan? Madara was sitting in a chair in a secret room and in front of him was a woman sitting whit a teacup at her pink lips.

- Don´t call me that Madara! She was angry at the man in front of her, he was the leader of their organization but she hated him.

- You are lovely as always my dear Konan. He was laughing and took of his orange mask and looked at the woman in front of him. He looked at her whit serious eyes and a cold shiver went throw her whole body. Her blue hair was standing up and she began to bit her lip piercing. It was a habit she had when she was anxious or angry. The little silver plump on the inside under her lip was the only thing that could call her down. The white paper rose in her blur hair was turning in to carton.

- Konan don´t bit the piercing, your teet will shatter and i don´t want that my dear. A mans hand touched her chin and put a blue hair lock behind her ear, her body was trembling. He could hear him inhale and knew that he would soon speak to her again. I´m sorry to call you over at this hour but i need to know how Pain is.

- He´s fine and it´s just a common cold nothing to be upset about. Konan put her teacup on the little table that was between her and Madara. It was true that Pain had a little cold and he would survive it. But it would almost kill Nagato, her eyes was starring down at the floor and a hand touched her chin.

- We both know that if Pain get´s sick or ill or badly injured we must replace the body. Nagato almost died last night and we can´t let him suffer, it was just luck that he survived Konan and you know that. His words was killing her slowly and her ears was screaming an begging him to stop talking. She could see Nagatos cold and pale body in front of her. His skin was cold and his lungs was screaming for air, the whole night she was holding his arm and begged to the gods that he would survive. They had been in hell and came out from it so many times. She still remembered the day when she and Yahiko found Nagato when they were orphans. One day they met a man that took care of them an learned them to survive on their own. The three was seeking peace and when they almost had it Yahiko died in front of them. Several years later they found a man named Madara and gave Nagato powers that they only could dream of. Nagato knew that Konan and Yahiko was in love and a couple and he often wondered how he could repay her. Konan became a sister to him and he could tear the heaven apart to take down a star and give it to her. He read in a secret scroll a few years ago that a certain justu could raise corpses. He cloned Yahikos body and made a copy and he named him Pain after the hell the war caused them. Konan was speechless and when she hugged Pain she felt nothing. The warmth and the butterflied in her stomach was gone, he was not the Yahiko she fell in love whit. The man in front of her was someone else. To keep Pain in live and support his clones that he used in battle was slowly killing Nagato. To keep him alive and keep Pain standing they had to put Nagato in a machine that could support him.

In the past five years they had to get rid of Pains body and clone a new one when Nagatos life was on a thread. Every time they had to replace the memories from the dead clone and put it in the new one. Pain was supposed to newer knew the truth and everything he said and done was because of Konan´s and Nagato´s memories and guilt of Yahiko´s death. They were standing a few feet from him when he was killed and he died in their arms. Pain had a terrible headache and he did not know that if Nagato was in pain he could feel the same pain. He was suppose to sleep but the pain was so intense that he had to get up and walk to the kitchen to get some pain pills. He heard voices in the hall and got curios, when he walked down the hall he saw a faint light coming from a hidden door. Was there always a door there and why was Konan and Madara in the hidden room? He heard his name several times and then he heard the names Nagato and Yahiko, who where they and why where they talking about him? He stood still and listening to everything and felt betrayed the longer he heard them speak.

- Madara why can´t we tell Pain the truth? He has the right to know, it was not long ago we had to dispose his body and Nagato had to make a new one. Konan knew why it had to be a hidden secret but it was a heavy burden to her. Pain had told her so many things from the past and she knew it was just implanted memories. The real Yahiko would never come back to her. A hand was placed on her hand and another hand was touching her cheek softly.

- You know why Konan if Pain finds pout that he is a copy of a near friend to you and Nagato he could go berserk. We don´t know what he would do and his memories would be in the new clone. I know that you two have a unique bond but the truth can´t come out. Pain would seek after Nagato and kill him and how do you tell a cloned corpse that he is just a memory from two persons? Pain could not feel the air in his lungs and he teleported himself from the hall and the hidden room. He had learned a technique that allowed him to hide his presence. He could stand in front a person and the person could see him but don´t feel his chakra or presence. Pain wanted to show Konan his new jutsu when they were alone and now it had help him to discover a hidden truth.

Now Pain was sitting in the darkness and stared at his hand, was it truth that he was a living cloned corpse? All the things he did was it because of someone else or was it his own actions? Was his thoughts and memories his own or was it someone else memories? Who was he and why did he felt so empty inside? Was Konan his friend because of Yahiko or because of Nagato? Everything was a big mess in his head and Madara was right, he would go berserk. He had to know more about Yahiko and Nagato, he took a paper and a pen from his desk and began to write everything down. He had to know and he had a plan to give him more time and neither Konan or Madara would suspect a thing. If he confronted them now he would be killed and he would not be revived again. When he was done he swallowed the note, it was the only place he could hid it and he took another paper an began to write down his evil plan.

The next day he was sitting at his desk and waited for the youngest member in the organization he was in. Akatsuki had been a nail in the eye for several country's in the years and Pain was the leader. But few people know that it was Madara who was the real leader, Pain was just a decoy. A false and cheap decoy that only had one purpose, to live because of guilt. He hated everyone and since he learned about the truth he know why he hated the youngest member the most. Deidara was a young boy whit long golden silk hair and blue eyes like the heaven. His body was feminine and the black eyelashes was like a geisha. His thin pink lips could drove any man and woman crazy, his body was thin and everyone wanted a bit of him. He also had a mouth in his hands and people was joking about what he could do whit them. He was so young and he had a living and free spirit. People was making fun of him and he would blew them up whit his so called art. He could make small clay animals whit the mouths on his hands and blow people up. He called the animals and explosions art but Pain called it rubbish and a waste of charka and time. But Deidara was the only one who could be used in his plan. The young boy always did what Pain told him to do, and he would not dare to say no.

Deidara was sleeping like a log when he heard a knock on his door and a angry voice from the money loving member Kakuzu.

- Get up girly! The leader wants to see you! Angry knockings was heard and Deidara rolled his eyes and gave the man outside his door the finger. Kakuzu could not see what Deidara was doing but he was angry because he was interrupted when he was counting on the Akatsukis budget. Deidara was standing up and stretched himself and heard how his bones in the body was cracking."First new cloths and i also need to brush my teeth before i met the leader" he was on his way to his small bathroom. After he changed his clothes he began to brush his teeth and after that he brushed his hair. Deidara was looking at him self in the mirror and smiled. "Another day in this crazy madhouse" he snorted at the mirror and putted on his shoes and unlocked his door and went out in the corridor. He locked his door and began to walk to Pains office, it was quiet and he felt a calm atmosphere in the corridor. It was quiet and that was a rare event in the Akatsuki, he began to feel fear because when it was too quiet in the Akatsuki building it meant no good. Now he stood outside of Pains office and he took a deep breath before he knocked on the hard oak doors.

- Come in Deidara! Pain sounded angry and Deidara know that he had to watch his words. Last time Pain was angry and Deidara had snapped at him he had to work in a stable in a old forgotten country for two weeks. He opened the door slowly and putted a smile on his lips when he walked in an closed the door behind him.

- God morning leader-sama. Deidara saw that Pain looked andgry and swallowed his saliva hard when Pain yelled at him.

- Sit down brat and be quiet! The only one in the akatsuki that was calling him the brat word was his partner in crime Sasori the puppet master. Deidara did was he was told and sat down in one of the leather chairs in front of Pains desk. Deidara felt that Pains eyes was registering everything he did and Deidara got nervous when he saw Pains hand. The finger on the left hand was over the fingers on the right hand and Pains gray eyes was almost black in anger.

Brat why are you late? I asked Kakuzu to get you here almost twenty minuets ago. Deidara swallowed harder this time and his mouth was dry like a dessert.

- I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth Pain - sama i wanted to be clean when i was talking to you, un. Deidara knew that if he praised Pain like a god he could survive.

- I see. Pains eyes was fixed to the blond boy and the hate and jealousy was filling every blood-cell in his body. Deidara the beautiful unpolished diamond that everyone in the Akatsuki had wet dreams of.

Pain was a god, he could change the weather and bring back the dead but it was Deidara that got all the attention. If the other members in the Akatsuki found out that Pain was a dead cheap copy of a dead ugly corpse no one would respect him. He could not let that happen and Deidara was the bait for getting more time to find out more about his existence. Deidara could not escape Pains eyes and they almost burned his soul.

- So Pain- sama what do you need, un? Deidara was not sure if he should take a breath or air or just sitting there.

- I need you for a S rank mission. Pain saw Deidaras eyes grew and he was relived, he was not going to clean stables.

- Anything for you, un. Deidara was happy but he would cry out his eyes soon.

- Before you say yes you must sign this paper. Pain placed a paper in front of the blond who signed it without reading. "Like a puppet on a string" Pain knew that Deidara had an big ego and reading contracts or papers that had to be signed was not his best quality. Step one was done and Pain was laughing inside at his puppet in a string though. So my dear Deidara for this mission you need to go alone. Deidaras eyes was getting bigger and the smile on his face was even bigger.

- Just tell me what i need to blow up Pain-sama, un. He was so happy that he almost jumped out from the chair he was sitting in.

- Oh it´s not a mission like that. Your mission is to spy on someone in a town a couple hours from here and to do that mission we need to change you.

It was like someone stabbed Deidaras heart whit a kunai and putted an ice cube in the wounded heart.

- C-change me, un? If he wished heard enough he would soon open his eyes and woke up from a dream.

- Since you signed the contract you voluntary accepted to be changed in to a female Deidara. Oh Pain loved the look at the blond boys face when he said the last part. He knew that Deidara would do everything in his power to change that part.

- But but but Pain-sama i can´t wear a dress, un. Deidara was hitting himself mentally for not reading the contract and he heard Sasoris voice in his head. "BRAT ALWAYS READ THE PAPER BEFORE YOU SIGN ANYTHING".

- I´m not talking about to put a dress on you Deidara, i´m talking about to change your body. You will get breasts and a nice little clit that will drive the boys and girls crazy.

Deidara did not liked what he heard, was he getting breasts and was his dick going to get chopped off? He was in denial and he began to panic, and Pain was enjoying everything he saw.

- But how i mean will i get snipped or, un? The panic in his voice was like music in Pains ears, finally the blond and ego bomber was cracked inside.

- No Deidara we are not going to snipp anything, we will use a jutsu that change the body. You will have the body of a girl for five days and you are going to spy on a man. Everyone knows about a blond male whit tongs on his hands in Akatauki. But a blond girl whit normal hands would not be consider as a member in Akatsuki.

- Will i be myself after five days, un? Deidaras body was shaking and once again he hated himself for not reading the paper.

- Yes Deidara you will be yourself, but you must stop saying un after every sentence or the plan will fail. The man you are going to follow loves to flirt whit girls and if you whisper the word un the whole mission will be over. Pain loved everything he just said and he saw Deidaras face turned white.

- I can´t do this mission, what if he rapes me, un? Deidara did not wanted to do this, without his mounts on his hands he could not use the bombs in self defense. And he would rater die then to get raped when he was a girl.

- Then you have to tell Kakuzu that we lost a mission worth about 250 milon ryo. "Game set and match" Pain knew that Kaukzu would kill Deidara if this opportunity was lost, whit this much money they could be on the plus side on the account.

- Two hundred fifty million? Deidara saw his life flashing by his eyes, Kauzu would kill him and put him back to life to be killed again.

- I have no choice do i, un? Deidara felt that tears was building up in his eyes.

- No Deidara and i thought i told you to stop say UN! I will have a doctor here at midnight and you can´t tell anyone about this mission. I suggest that you have a dragon ready so you can fly and be in the town tomorrow. I will give you a file about the man you are going to spy on after the treatment. You can go now and i want you to rest, it will be a long night. Pain gave him a look that Deidara could leave the office and when Pain saw the young blond stand up he could touch the panic that was escaping Deidaras body.

Deidaras leg was like jelly and they could almost not carry him, when he came to his room he fell on his bed and he could not stop crying. He could not tell anyone and he was not suppose to say un after ever sentence. It was one of his bad habits and Pain had pushed all his buttons. He felt alone in the Akauski before but now he was alone. In Pains office was Pain and looked outside the window, under his desk was a bag whit the money for the mission. He had been saving money to buy a house for him and Konan. He thought that his love for her was real and that she was in love whit him to. But he knew the truth now and step one in a year long plan was ready.

That midnight Deidara stood in Pains office in a white dress and he was told to lay down on the floor. He saw symbols of rings on the floor. His back was on a symbol that locked like a flower and the rings was getting larger and larger. Two men in white coats came in and putted their hands on his body and began to speak in latin. Soon they began to make signs whit their hands and Deidara felt a burning pain in his back. The louder the men was speaking the more intense the pain became. He was screaming and when he tried to sit up the was dragged back to the floor by one of the doctors. After half an hour the both men was standing up and went out from the office, Deidara was trying to sit up. He puked and he was holing his stomach, what have they done to him? He felt two lumps on his chest and when he looked down at the white dress he saw a pair of breasts. He puked again and when he was done he looked at his hands, the mouths where gone and he could not feel his penis.

He was a girl, he could not make bombs or art anymore, and he could not say un. He wanted his body back, he felt strange and he began to wonder who he was. The only thing that was left of his old self was his hair. When he put a hand on his head and let the fingers dance down his hair he felt a cold in his body. The hair was short, it went down to his shoulder blades and it was curly. The long blonde hair was gone and now it was blond and curly, he let out a sob and began to cry loud. He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he turned his head he saw Pain.

- YOU MONSTER! What have you done to me, un? Deidara stood up and felt a hand over his left cheek.

- WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE UN THING? Pains hand took a firm grip around Deidaras chin and forced him to look in to Pains cold eyes.

Deidara you signed the contract, and i´m not gonna tell Kakuzu about the 250 milion ryo. Tell me would you rather spy on a man or letting Kakuzu rent out your body for five days and get the money that way? Pain knew the answer, there was noway that the blonde male would hurt his ego to sell hos body. He had to much pride for doing that, Deidaras blue eyes was blank from the tears and Pain took out a tissue and wiped Deidaras eyelashes.

- I i i rater spy... He did not dare to say un and it felt like a big piece was missing in his life.

- Good girl Didi. Pain was hugging Deidara and felt the female body shaking in fear. Deidara hold Pains clothes tight and felt a kiss on his forehead.

- Pain-pain-sama? He could not believe it, first he got a hit in the face and now he got a kiss on the forehead. Something was really strange and he knew that he had to do this mission .

- My little Didi it will be over soon. Pain was looking in to Deidaras eyes and once again he took a firm grip at Deidaras chin. If you do something stupid on this mission i will give Kakuzu the pleasure to decide your punishment.

Deidara could only nod and the fear for Pain began to rise, he never treated him like this and he wanted this week to be over.

Now my little Didi is time for you to take a shower and change your clothing, i placed a black bag on your bed whit clothing and other stuff you need. Pain released his hand and took a bottle from his left pocket. You need to take two black pills and one red pill each day in the morning. I don´t want the jutsu to go off in the middle of the mission, hurry home my little Didi. Pain gave him the bottle of pills and a folder whit the information of the mission.

Deidara was running to his room and when the hot water hit his back he began to cry once more. The eyes pain gave him was filled whit hate and disgust. And was his new name Didi? The new body was hard to control and he felt like a new creature. When he came from the shower naked he opened the bad and saw miniskirts and small dresses. In fear he opened the folder and saw that he was a pole dancer, he puked in a empty candy bag and he felt sick. Pain was getting for this, he had to play a strippers roll and spy on a fat and ugly rich man. No wonder Pain said that the males was hitting on woman's, Deidara changed and walked out and saw his sand dragon.

- It´s only you and me. That night Deidara was lying on the dragons back and cried, why was Pain doing this to him? And he hoped that this mission would be over soon.

It was late in the afternoon when he walked in to the town, every male was looking at him and Deidara felt insecure. A few men came to him and tried to kiss him, was this the life of the other gender? He felt like a piece of meat that was tossed from side to side.

- Hey there sugar, how about a drink? A tall male whit green hair and green eyes was placing an arm around Deidaras shoulders. Another man came to them and they began to talk about Deidara and they wanted him to follow them home.

- I´m sorry boys i´m on my way to my work. Deidara putted on a fake smile and he hated his new feminie voice.

- Just shout and we will be there princess. A tall man kissed Deidara and the boys was walking away. Deidara was running to the hotel he was going to stay in when he closed and locked the door he felt safe. The ego and the self esteem was gone since yesterday, why was he acting like this? The normal Deidara would love to have the attention but not like this. He lay down at his bed in the cheap motel and starred in to the wall, he wanted to lay on his stomach but the breasts was in the way. When he tried to lay on his back the breasts made it hard to breath. He was laying on the side and that was the only way he felt comfortable whit.

A few hours later he woke up to a strange humming sound and the pair in the next room was not girl and the boy in the next room was screaming in pleasure and Deidara did not dare to move. He heard their hard breathing and he could almost hear their heartbeats. The more the pain in the voice from the next room sounded the stranger the new body felt. It was a burning feeling in the stomach and below it. The bed next room was making humping sounds and a loud moan was filling the corridor. The new body was acting strange and it began to move on it´s own. Soon Deidara was lying on the stomach and was rubbing the clit at the sheet and he felt the madras, soon the madras was wet and two fingers was rubbing the wet underwear. If he was a guy he would just jerking off and be happy but this was a new experience, more fingers was rubbing the wet underwear and the fire in his body screamed for more. To be a girl maybe was not so bad after all, the fingers was on the clit and load moans came from Deidaras throat . The fingers was now inside the new body and the thumb was rubbing the clit, the feeling was so intense. He wanted more and did the best to fuck the mattress. The fingers was dripping of the juices and the taste of it was nothing from this world. He had fingered girls but finger himself was even better. He sat up and took one of the pillows and started to riding it. It was not his fault, it was the persons in the room next door who started it. he came and screamed and fall down on the bed. "This beats jerking all the way" he could not think and he wanted more.

When he was done he wanted to take a shower before he entered the town, in the shower a feeling of guilt came over him. Why did he played whit himself and why was he trying to fuck a pillow? The head was a mess and the confusion was overwhelming. The stomach was growling and the hunger came from nowere. When he cam out from the shower he took a good look in the mirror and began to like the new body.

After twenty minutes he sat in a restaurant and was eating roasted chicken whit rice and some hot sauce. A few tables from him was the man he was spying on and he had several girls at the table. Right now the food was more important and he was listening on the fat male whit a half ear. The hours flew by and Deidara was sitting in a bar and had a martini in front of him. The day was long and tiring, the only thing the fat man was talking about was money and power. A tall guy whit short blue hair came to the bar and sat down next to Deidara. The male whit the short blue hair was a body builder and he ordered a strong whiskey. They did not looked at each other and Deidara could feel the mans perfume. Something was tingling inside his body and the hands began to shake, who was this man? When the man in blue hair was done whit his drink he stood up and walked away. Deidara was shaking his head and smacked the cheeks. "Stay focused, no more stables!" The fat man was standing up and walked away, the time was half twelve in the night and he stood up and walked to the cheap hotel and before he entered the bed he changed the pillow and put a new sheet on the madras. The next day he followed the fat man the whole and at the evening he sat in the bar and had a beer in front of him. Like yesterday the blue haired bodybuilder came in. Deidara saw some tattoos on the body builders arm and saw that one of them looked like an dead angel on the arm. The man ordered a whiskey and left when he was felt a sting in the lover part of the body and he took a bite inside of his cheeks so hard he began to bleed. What was happening to him?

On third day in the evening Deidara sat at the bar and had a glass of beer in front of him and the blue haired man came in and sat down. His body was screaming for the man and he remembered the wet dream he had about him. When he woke up in the morning the underwear was soaked and the madras was wet. Once again he placed the pillow under his body and he began to move his hips and pretended it was the guy in the blur hair that was under him. Deidara was touching his breast and he began to ride the pillow harder. When he did that he heard his horny neighbors scream in pleasure, he began to breath harder and the pillow could not satisfy him any longer. He needed him, the guy in blue hair to calm his body down. The mission could wait, Deidara needed someone to take care of his inner fire of lust.

- Good evening my name is Didi, whats yours? Deidara looked at the man and was trying his best to get his attention.

- Romanow. The man took the glas and putted it on his lips, the woman beside him was driving him crazy. Oh he wanted her and he was glad that she took the first step.

- So Romanow are you often here? Deidara was leaning closer to him and saw the fat man walked away but this was the night he could be whit the man before he turned back into a man. He could always spy on the greedy fat man tomorrow and Pain would newer know what he did instead of following orders.

- Not so often, it´s the only place where you can get a decent drink. Romanow felt a hand on his leg and saw the blond woman smiling to him.

- Tell me Romanow, how about i give you a drink for free? What was Deidara doing? It was a thing to ask a girl to come to the room but this guy was much taller and stronger than him. He began to get seconds thougts but it was something whit Romanow that he could not resist. If he did not invite Romanow he would regret this more than once.

Deidara felt a hand on his hand and the Romanows yellow eyes was eating his soul, he was so perfect in so many ways. "Maybe Sasori was right about that art was enternal." Their lips was touching and the fire in the lower part of his body was back, he needed him now. "Pain will never know about this and i know everything about the fat man, i´m young, i will only live once" Deidara opened his mouth and felt a toung inside and the kiss went deeper.