rub the butt for magics c:

and you're going to judge me so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy.

Yao pls kill me

this is like my favorite movie ever, like everything about it, too beautiful c:

"Hey Erika, it's Izaya." It appears Izaya and his friends are in the desert with... some other guy that wasn't with them before. Shizuo and Shinra are at the car waiting for Izaya to break the news for their status.

"Iza-Iza, where the hell are you guys?" Erika questioned as it seems Erika and Kadota was going to have a wedding ceremony today. Well, was suppose to soon. Apparently, currently everyone was waiting for them to get back.

"Well, let's put it this way haha... we fucked up, big time." Izaya doesn't usually swear, but when he does, he means it. He shakes his head as he reveal their laughable situation.

"What are you talking about?" Erika was confused as she grips the phone.

"About that, the bachelor party... things got out of control ... and you see... yeah we lost Dota-chin, end of story." Izaya confessed as he nervously laughed to himself.

"What the hell do you mean you lost Kyohei?" Erika's not interested to hear this, very unamused with the given situation with her fiancé and his groom men gone and five hours before the wedding.

"We can't find him anywhere, that's what I mean and I shit you not." Izaya explained as briefly as possible, he would save the story for another time.

"Izaya, we're getting married in five hours." It looks like Erika got in a relationship with Kadota in this universe.

"Yeah..." Izaya had a short pause on the phone. "That's not gonna happen. And I'm not kidding this time." Izaya's voice ends there.

-Back to the beginning two days before the wedding flashback c:-

"WHOA! WATCH IT OLD MAN." Shizuo's pants size was being measured and he was uncomfortable that the man was so close to him as he was measured.

"It's okay Shizuo." Kadota comforted Shizuo about the situation, as he had his suit on as he tried it on for the upcoming wedding. A sexy taco-cat/batman has to look his best on his wedding day, with his side kicks with their tailored suits too.

"It's getting really close to my little Shizuo." Shizuo, what is wrong with you and your explanation could have been more less awkwarding.

"It's okay Shizuo." Kadota was getting dressed up for the time being as he was in his suit.

"Well, Kadota. You can get changed now." The man walked out of the room with his measuring tape over his shoulders, he left the room and will never appear back in the story again c:

"Thanks Dennis." Dennis in this world was a super cool tailor man. Kadota gave his thanks as he took off his blazer off.

"Ok, Shizuo let's get a move on." Both of them started undressing from the suits. Then Shizuo spoke up.

"You know Kadota, if you don't want me come along to Las Vegas with your friends, you know that's totally cool." Shizuo actually wanted to go secretly.

"What are you talking about." Kadota untied his tie.

"You know, Izaya and Shinra, they're mainly your buddies, and it's your bachelor party, and-" Shizuo came up reasons for not going, he didn't want to be a bother.

"Ah, come on Shizuo. Those two love you. Besides, I think they're possiblity worst than you sometimes. Well, Izaya anyways. But then again, Shinra is slightly different." Kadota thought about it again quickly.

"You know how I can mess up at times, actually like alot." Shizuo undressed his clothes, taking off his pants leaving him in his underwear.

"It's not like that-" Shizuo now has underwear. He keeps the back of his undies down to his bottom, well at least he has a nice male figure as he put his hands on his hips and faced Kadota.

"It's not like that, I already told you Shizuo, we're just going on a little trip to Las Vegas. It's no big deal." Kadota explained with a cool, calm composure even with Shizuo's awkward pants moment.

"Whatever happens tonight, I will never ever speak a word of." Shizuo agrees with him and names some terms of the trip.

"Thanks Shizuo I-" Shizuo starts walking up to him as Kadota finishes to change out and wear his normal clothes.

"No, seriously. I don't care what happens I don't care if we kill someone." Shizuo explains with a little too much extreme measures at hand as he puts his face really close to Kadota's to tell he is dead serious.

"What?" Kadota questions his side kick friend.

"You heard me. It's sin city. All time solo. Shizuo slips the bottom of his underwear a little bit more down for some reason in his changings.

"Ok. I got it." Shizuo raises his eyebrows weirdly at Kadota in ways.

"Thank you." Kadota confirmed.

"No, thank you." Shizuo goes forward for a hug but Kadota dosen't react. "I love you so much." In a brotherly way.

Kadota pats his back in the awkward hug.

Shizuo finishes to change after that.

And Kadota takes a walk out to meet with Togusa, the strange family cop man that is related to Erika, his fiancée and bride to be in two days.

-After the dressing up of the two after trying on their suits we move on to the garage with Togusa-

A garage door opens, revealing a real cool looking car in there.

"No, Togusa. Really?" Kadota and Togusa are standing together looking at the car, batman Kadota impressed as it was better looking than his batmobile by just a little bit.

"Come on, you're getting married." The j-walking chasing, catching cop pat his friend's back as a congratulations present, he's letting Kadota borrow his precious car

"Are you sure? I mean, you love this car." Kadota was aware of that.

"Kadota, it's just a car. Just make sure you take care of it or I'll most likely going to break your face with my foot once you get back, haha let's just say you will." Togusa half joke or not, he's pretty into his car, Kadota will most likely be respectful with it.

"Absolutely, that's easy." Kadota understood his task.

"Oh, and don't let Shizuo drive. There's something wrong with him..." Shizuo appears to be talking to the family's dog at the moment in his bartender's outfit that no one understands why he still wears.

"Right." Kadota commented.

"Oh, and Izaya either. I just don't like him." Togusa had this bad past events when it came with Izaya and the evil j-walking Walker.

"I will be, the only one driving this car. I promise bro." Kadota reassures Togusa with a pat to his shoulder.

"Good, now remember what happens in Vegas, stays, in Vegas." Tugusa tosses the keys over to Kadota and he catches them with ease.

"Ahuhhuhah." Kadota laughs weirdly seeing his point in his joke.

"Except for herpes. That shit will come back to you." Togusa pointed out

Kadota stilled silent after that.

And off they went to pick up the other two morons to the trip.

First to Izaya Ori-bubby I mean Orihara's workplace at Raira Academy.

-Later on the drive to pick up Izaya-

A school bell rings for the end of the day and school week.

At Raira Academy's classroom of 3-B, there at the front of the class, there he was, the evil man. Izaya Orihara in his usual attire of his trademark coat on his chair and fake reading glasses.

"Alright, alright, hold on, hold on I still need your permission forms." Izaya had to work part time as a teacher for another thing that has happened.

"And 90 dollars for the trip to the exhibitory next weekend. Come on pay up, pay up, this field trip is a once in a life time humans!" Students started handing in envelopes. Izaya is really stealing their money in the end for his trip with Kadota and the others.

"I got yours Mika-chan. Thanks Seiji-kun." All the students have left the classroom for the weekend not knowing that their teacher is mainly using their money for his own benefits for his trip, he smiled as he looks at the money handed to him.

As evil man is evil man, he empties the students envelopes and cautiously puts the money in a envelope marking 'Las Vegas'

After checking all the envelopes, Izaya packs up his money and stuffs it in his pocket and gets his stuff from behind his desk and leaves.

Shizuo and Kadota are in Togusa's car now all dress for the occasion, waiting for Izaya to come out now.

They started a short conversation on Shizuo's part.

"Ahem, did you have to park so close bro?" Shizuo and Kadota both have sunglasses. But Shizuo nautrually has them.

"Yeah, why?" Kadota explained.

"We shouldn't be here.." Shizuo explains to him, Raira Academy was the school Shizuo graduated from and now he's remembering some things that happened here that he would rather forget, plus he did something illegal here.

"And why is that Shizuo?" Kadota wonders what he did.

"I'm not suppose to be within 200 feet. of a school." Shizuo puts his hand over his forehead feeling down.

"What?" Kadota turned to him with a big question mark.

"Or Chucky E Cheese." Bad, bad memories going down in Shizuo's memory lane.

And here comes the trash king from the school front entrance.

Izaya steps down the stairs of Raira toward the car, putting on his shades.

"Um, Orihara-sense-." A student, Ryugamine was about to asked to Izaya something.

"Have a nice weekend Ryugamine-kun, I don't know you, you do not exist." Izaya still walks and puts a hand over to him showing body language.

Ryugamine was ignored in his sadness.

Spotting Kadota and the car, Izaya greeted them with a smile.

"Shit. Nice car Dota-chin. I'm driving though, move over." Izaya dibbed.

"No." Kadota explained.

Izaya pouts as he steps on the door of the car into the back instead then.

"Don't step on that- hey watch the leather..." Kadota complained, as he knew too well if anything happen he would be in trouble in responsible for Togusa's car.

"Ahhh~ Will you just shut up and drive already, before one of these nerds ask me another question Dota?" Izaya's personality flips when he gets out of school. Hello douchbag ass Izaya.

"Oh, Izaya you're here." Shizuo looks back, trying to act cool in front of Izaya.

"Wait, who are you again?" Izaya had some sort of habit of being canon Shizuo now.

"That's my thing flea. We met about a hundred times." Shizuo didn't like this. Izaya stifles a laugh.

"Oh, yeah, just joking with you Shizu-chan. How you doing man." Izaya lightly joked as he hugged Shizuo from the back seat, placing his arms around his neck, nuzzling in the crook. It seems their relationship was like of one of old buddy friends as Simon will say "Yes, Shizuo my old buddy friend! Really good. Sushi?" anyways.

Kadota drove.

-To Shinra's house-

"Remember to grab your ketchup bottle." Namie was in a relationship with Shinra? Well who knew, congrats Shinra. Namie reminds Shinra as he packs for his trip as she makes a cup of coffee for herself in kitchen dining table.

"ketchup bottle, check." Shinra's at the kitchen grabbing things for his trip.

"And don't forget to use it. I can totally tell when you whine about not having some ketchup with you for some reason." Namie was pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Using of my ketchup bottle, check." Shinra needed his ketchup bottle for his potatoe swimming lessons, and pouring it on people for fun. Luckily Namie dosen't know he can transform into a potatoe.

"And make sure you call me right when you get to the hotel. Not like that conference in Saitama It took you two hours to call me."

"Yeah I was taking notes to the speaker I was late to the podeum."

"Still?" Namie complaints.

"Yeah, your totally right, I'm sorry." Shinra reached in to kiss on the cheek Namie but she moves her face away.

"What is the matter?" Namie starts to walk over to the living room of the house, Shinra follows her.

"I don't know, I can't get over you going to some strip club in Kyoto." They're in the living room now.

"But we were going to Kyoto, I don't even think they had strip clubs there." Oh yes there are Shinra, there are.

"I'm not even sure they had any in Kyoto." Shinra sits down on a couch in there.

"Well if there is one, I bet Orihara will sniff it out." Namie sits beside Shinra and places her cup down as Izaya can't be trusted to anyone.

"Look, it's not gonna be like that. Besides you know how I feel about bachelor parties." Shinra lies to Namie again forever and ever and ever in this relationship it seems for his own good. Namie is fooled, score for Shinra.

"I know, I know it's just boys and their bachelor parties, it's gross." Namie stated coldly.

"Your right, it is, ..gross." Shinra goes like unsure :gross: yeah that's the word for it.

"Not to mention it's patethic. Those places are filthy." Namie rambles on.

"Yeah." Shinra says softly, pretending to understand most of it.

"And the worst part is, that little girl up there on the stage, grinding, and dry humping the fucking stage up there." Namie TMI TMI, no get away from me, no. -screams-

"That's somebodys daughter up there." Namie says first, but Shinra follows with her afterwards.

"I was just going to say that." Shinra slaps his hands on his knees, acting like he's cool again.

"See, I just wish your friends were as mature as you." Namie explains.

"They are mature, you just need to know them better." Shinra couldn't be more wrong at times.

"Not Izaya. That's for sure though." As he thought about it again.

"Maybe not him."

The gang arrives near Shinra's house.

"Paging Doctor Douchebag." Shizuo calls out from the car.

Theres a silence in the house for a small moment.

"Doctor Faggot." Was all that was heard, as Shinra recovers first and begin to get his things for the trip.

"I should go." Shinra said as he thought of his friends' timing.

"That's a good idea, Doctor Faggot." Ah, there's no escape of it Shinra, too late now.

"And I say again, I'm gonna miss you." Shinra tries to lean forward to kiss Namie on the cheek, she moves again so he kisses Namie around her neck collar of her shirt.

And so Shinra takes off.

To VEGAS man c:

end of chapter one of this shitty adventure.

TBC in the next update c:

bai bai kappalings eat your kappacumbers and tea for your daily source of veggie fruits c:

-lord of kappas C: