REWRITTEN: Prologue as of Mar. 22, 2003.
NEW: Chapter Five as of Mar. 22, 2003.

...Winding Path...

By: Zetta
Summary: James Potter's had a rough year, and when he decided he needs a break from being an Auror, Albus Dumbledore comes up with an interesting proposition....
Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Sybil Trelawney, Taura Sinastra, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, and more!
Rating: PG-13
Explanation for Delay: Frustrated with the way that this was starting out, I decided I had to re-write parts of this before I could continue. It's taken me nearly two months to reach that conclusion, and those were two long months in which I almost completely left the Harry Potter fanfiction world. It was partially because of the wonderful work of Lavender in her Falling Trilogy that I dragged myself back into this world. (Plug: ). Thank you Kyli. :o)
Explanation for why: I'm not sure how much I'm going to re-write or how much I'm going to edit, but I know for certain that this first part is going to be *totally* different in terms of how I'm writing it, though the basic idea will remain the same. I'm also looking for title suggestions- I'm not particularly like this one.
Miscellaneous Notes: I've been getting a lot of comments on LILY AND SYBIL'S FRIENDSHIP and how it turns out that Sybil isn't exactly all buddy-buddy with Harry. I know this. I'm working on making the relationship between Lily and Sybil and the rest of them something that would build up to that. It's not easy, but I'm trying very hard. I would appreciate any and all comments and suggestions on it, but yes, I KNOW IT'S A WEIRD IDEA and you may not think it works- but if I can get it written properly, it WILL WORK OUT! Trust me!
Please let me know if there is something wrong in the story. I'm going through a rather tough time with college, and so I can't say that I'm dedicating every waking moment to finding errors in this story. So, if you see something wrong (or just weird!), let me know!!

Prologue

"A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own."
Thomas Mann

All things considered, the Auror Offices in London were pretty nice. Each Auror had their own office- or shared one, if they chose- that had a desk, a chair, a nice comfortable couch for the many overnighters they would pull, and access to one of the best cafeterias in all of Britain. They also had one of the fanciest gathering rooms of all government employees, and it was there that they regularly gathered, waiting for their next assignment.

James Potter, an Auror of only a few years, was seated in that gathering room along with several other Aurors, listening to the Wizarding Wireless commentate the Puddlemere United and Chudley Cannons pre-season scrimmage.

James sat in one of the over-sized chairs near the door, and his best friend Sirius Black sat to his right on the end of a couch. Also with them were Frank Longbottom and David Albion. "My money's on Puddlemere," Sirius said with a satisfied smirk. "As always."

Puddlemere was leading by a good fifty points, and their Seeker was considered the best in the league.

"That could have been you," Sirius said as the commentator enthusiastically told of yet another goal by one of Puddlemere's Chasers, sending them up another ten points.

James smiled lazily. "And miss out on the thrilling action of be an Auror? I think not." He sat back and indulged in imagining what it would have been like if he had chosen to play Quidditch- Puddlemere and Montrose had both offered him a spot on the team, but he had declined in favor of following in his father's footsteps and becoming an Auror.

His father was working his way up in the Ministry, having started there when he was about twenty. Currently, he headed up the Department of Defense, and was, indirectly, James's boss. James glanced over at Sirius again. "I hope it's over soon," he said. "I'm due over for Tiff's birthday right after the shift. You going to drop by when you're done?"

Sirius nodded, a grin on his face. "You should see the thing I got her. It's a huge unicorn thing that talks and stuff- it's great!"

"Let me guess," James said with a wry smile. "Perfect size for a four year old to ride?"

Sirius shrugged. "Would I give your baby sister something dangerous like that?"

James laughed. "Mum'll kill you, and Dad'll love it. Tiffany will too. For some reason, she thinks you walk on water."

Sirius shrugged. "She's a smart little brat." He sighed. "I can't wait until your mum lets us take her to a Quidditch match. Uncle Sirius and big brother Jimmy'll really be her favorites then."

"What'd you get Michael for his birthday?" Frank asked, referring to James's nephew, who was a month older than his sister.

Sirius laughed. "Me and James went in on a broom for him, and we're teaching him how to ride it."

Frank and David exchanged amused looks. "Will either of you bother teaching your kids to walk, or just give them brooms from day one?"

James opened his mouth to deliver a witty reply, but was cut off when David yelped and turned up the Wireless.

"-Puddlemere's Seeker is right behind him! Jackobson's reaching... he's reaching, he's almost got- Got it! The Cannons win! The Cannons win! The final score, 100 to 190! What a game!"

David laughed. "And that'll be some gold from you, gentlemen," he declared.

Sirius groaned. "Cheating son of a-"

"Assignment!" someone called from the hallway. Sirius cut himself off and turned off the Wireless. David stood and tossed powder into the fire, then stepped back as a man appeared. A half a dozen other Aurors hurried into the room, positioning themselves so they could all see.

"Go ahead," David said to the man in the fire. "Give us your name and address, and everything you can tell us about what's happening."

The man in the fireplace looked oddly familiar to James, but he couldn't place him. "There's Death Eaters attacking us across the street!" the man said, visibly shaking. His voice cracked. "I-I heard screaming. I don't know who it was, but there all over there today. There's a lot of them. My-my wife saw them first. There might be a fire."

"What's your name, sir, and where are you at?"

"I-I'm Robert Mildewing," the man said in a shaking voice.

James started, and suddenly, a memory went through him, one of his mother, two weeks ago, looking up from the pot she was stirring on the stove. Did you meet the new neighbors, James? They moved into the house across the street last week. Rose and Robert Mildewing, I think. They seem quite nice. They've got a daughter who's about your age, very pretty, and I think you'd like her-

James bolted to his feet. "Pencourt?" he asked, and Sirius stood as well. "Pencort, in Carlisle?"

The man nodded a little. "101 Penc-"

James was running before the man had finished.

"That's his house-" Sirius started, but James didn't hear the rest as he ran for the nearest door. Apparation was impossible from within any Ministry building, except in special areas.

"James!" someone shouted, but he didn't stop, and threw open the first set of doors he came across that led outside.

His wand was already in his hands and he disapparated in an instant, arriving in front of his own house less than a second later.

It was almost completely dark. No one was around.

The only light came from the cruelly bright green skull in the sky, a serpent winding its way out of the mouth, taunting anyone who looked at it.

James took off running for the door- the apparation field was about twenty meters from the house, in case there was ever an attack of some kind, it would allow warning and increase the chance of escape-

The door was wide open, and glass was on the floor.

He felt nausea grip him and stepped inside, the shards breaking beneath his boots. A pop sounded behind him, and he spared a glance only long enough to see that Sirius had arrived. Then he turned his attention back to the house before him. The lights were all out, and furniture was toppled.

A bright colored teddy bear was in the middle of the hallway, abandoned alongside two more dolls, one of which he recognized as something he'd given his sister Maria for her birthday last March...

Fear had him hurrying back to the kitchen, back to the room he knew they would go to if there was ever danger.

The kitchen was dark. "Lumos," Sirius commanded as he entered behind James.

The light was enough to reveal two house-elves lying unmoving on the floor- and the door that led to the basement hiding place wide open.

"Lumos," James commanded, and his voice cracked just saying that.

Several pops were heard out front, and James knew the other Aurors had arrived.

Sirius at his back, he went to the door that led to the basement.

At the bottom of the stairs, unmoving, was his father. He was facedown and his wand was still in his hand.

"Dad?" he called hoarsely. "Anyone?"

No answer. He went down the stairs, dread in his heart... for good reason.

Further down the steps, he was able to see the rest of the basement.

His brother was on his back near the couch, his eyes open as he stared up at the ceiling.

His brother was to his right, his wand out, but having rolled a few feet away from him.

His sister-in-law and nephew were behind him, little Michael still clutching a ragged blanket that had never been far from him.

His mother was slumped over the unmoving bodies of his sisters, her last attempt to protect them having failed. He could not see her face, but the open eyes of his sister Maria seemed to follow him as he slowly stumbled down the rest of the steps.

He couldn't breath right, and he couldn't hear anything, though he knew Sirius was speaking, and had put his hand on his arm, and was holding him back from going to his mother's side-

A movement from behind him caught his attention, and he watched in disbelieving silence as his co-workers rushed into the room, spreading out to go to the various bodies about the room.

Sirius was speaking, trying to get him to sit down, but James couldn't bring himself to listen.

Slowly, he knelt down by his father, and his hands shook as he reached to feel his neck, hoping beyond all hopes that he would feel a sign of life, but knowing that he wouldn't.

Sirius was beside him, and James slowly looked at him. Sirius was white-faced and he looked as stunned as James felt.

James stood up again and looked around slowly.

The other Aurors in the room couldn't meet his gaze, but he didn't notice. His eyes landed on his mother and sisters, but he couldn't bring himself to go to their sides.

Someone touched his shoulder and then stepped around to where he could see him.

It was Moody, one of the Head Aurors. "Potter," he said, and his voice was sharp enough that this time, James heard him. He nodded numbly. Moody gripped his arm and forced him to turn away, and pushed him towards the stairs. "Go sit down, boy," he said, and his voice was oddly soft. "Black, Longbottom, go with him."

Each step up the stairs was like lifting a lead foot, and it felt incredibly hard to move.

He didn't know how he got there, but he found himself in his father's study, standing in front of the window and staring out at the crowd that had gathered on his lawn.

Someone called his name, and he turned to see who it was. Remus and Peter were there, Remus looking like death warmed over. The thought almost made James laugh, but he couldn't manage it. Death warmed over.

Well, he would certainly have something to compare it to, now!

Remus and Sirius were bringing him over to sit down in a chair, and he wondered why everyone looked so worried about him.

More time passed, and someone brought them tea- James saw Sirius adding a bit of something extra to his, but couldn't taste it when he sipped from the big mug that had been his father's.

More time passed, and people came and went. James found himself standing in front of the window again when everyone had left his side for a moment, and he watched as stretchers were carried out, bodies with sheets pulled over them being carefully disapparated to somewhere. Probably the morgue in the center of Carlisle, he thought with strange detachment.

Unaware that he was being watched, one of the Aurors stepped back from the crowd, wiping at tears. James wondered how a man who had not even known them could be crying, while he, their son and brother and uncle, could not.

Then he was sitting again, Sirius and Remus on either side, and Peter to Sirius's left, and Moody was entering, and met his gaze with soft eyes, so very unlike his normal. "I'm sorry, James," he said, and it was odd, because James couldn't remember Moody ever calling him by his first name before.

And then Moody told James that he had to go to the city and confirm the identity of the bodies, and Sirius said he would do it, but James said that he would...

And somehow, he found himself and Sirius disapparating to the morgue at the hospital, where he'd been dozens of times before, and walking down the halls, and then looking at the bodies of his family as they lay on cold metal trays...

Like so many others he'd seen before.

It was that sight that broke him, and as he looked down at his mother's face, white and lifeless, he suddenly felt overcome, and stumbled back. Sirius led him out of the room, also crying, and in the hallway of the the morgue, James wept, his best friend the only thing holding him up.

*__*__*__*__*__*__*__*

The following week was a blur. Through it all, James slept little and ate less. He stayed in his parents' house, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter moved in with him for that week, helping him.

The worst of it, aside from dealing with the grief, was planning the funerals.

How, exactly, could you go about planning the funeral of seven people, all of whom he had loved dearly?

It took two long days to make all of the calls that were necessary just to inform everyone of their deaths. Most people reacted with disbelief- no one could believe that the entire Potter family, save one, had been massacred without any warning. The disbelief would be a quick protest, and then a long silence as the truth sank in. Then, the request for information on the funerals, and the offer of condolences.

Flowers arrived by the truckload, and the funeral parlor that had been selected had to stop accepting deliveries. James had all the extras sent to the hospital for the patients who were still alive to see the blooms.

The head of every major Ministry department called or came by to offer condolences. Neighbors and family friends brought food to the house, all with teary eyes and pale faces.

The Potters had been a well loved family.

After the initial breakdown, he felt rather numb. He was in no hurry to get rid of that feeling- there was too much that had to be done.

The family solicitor had to be met with, his parents' will read, and then his brother and sister-in-law's.

He inherited everything, and was advised to let the two estates sit for a few months before he made any major changes.

As per the wishes of his family, all were to be buried in the family plot at one of the older cemeteries in Carlisle. One of the most awful moments for him came when he realized that it was expected that he would be a paulbearer- of which one? he wondered, and had to fight not to laugh hysterically. In the end, it was decided that he would not walk as a paulbearer for any, and a memorial service would be held with the burial being a private affair for only the dearest friends...

The memorial was five days after the murders. Hundreds of people turned out, friends and neighbors, co-workers and old schoolmates, politicians, and the media.

Sirius spoke with some of the Aurors who James had worked with, and soon word was out that all media people were to be kept away from James- no matter what.

Later, James would think about it and be grateful, but during that time, he didn't notice.

Eulogies were offered by the Minister of Magic who had gone to school with James' father and was an old friend, one of David's best friends, Albus Dumbledore, and James himself.

Remus had always been good with words, and had helped him write the eulogy. It was fairly short and to the point, and James threw away his copy of it once he was done because he could not bear to look at it.

Four days after that, and nine days after the murders, James went back to work.

*__*__*__*__*__*__*__*

"...wake up! James, wake up!"

His eyes flew open and for a long moment, he stared at Sirius, who's hand was on his shoulder, and eyes were dark with concern. "You all right?" Sirius asked, slowly straightening.

James sat up, pushing the blanket off of himself and then grabbing his glasses off of the table near the couch and slipping them on. "I'm fine," he muttered groggily, though he was unable to clear the horrific images from his mind. Images that had haunted him since that night, almost a month ago... Four days short of a month, actually, he thought.

His eyes flickered over the office and he found the clock on the wall, and the time surprised him a little. He'd only meant to lay down for a few minutes... It was an hour and a half later. "What's up?" he asked.

Sirius was frowning, clearly worried. "You were, uh, talking in your sleep. I woke you up when I heard... Well, it didn't sound like a good dream, so I woke you up." He shifted, looking uncomfortable in addition to worried.

James looked down for a moment, and then stood up, shaking off the last dregs of sleep. He crossed the room and went into the bathroom, leaving the door open and taking off his glasses, then flipping on the faucet. Cool water rushed out, and he cupped his hands and splashed his face, massaging his eyes and wondering why he had to dream at all. The world wouldn't be so awful without dreams, would it?

Sirius stood in the doorway, watching him. "How bad?"

James grabbed a towel off the rack and dried his face methodically before he replaced the towel again, folding it neatly. He looked at Sirius for a moment. "Every time I close my eyes, I think it gets worse." He put his glasses back on again and went out into the office, buttoning up his shirt all the way and pulling his tie on again.

A week ago he had confessed to Sirius that he didn't think he could do his job any longer. Every time he stepped out to chase after a Death Eater, he was reminded of that night... It made him hesitate, and that was something he couldn't afford to do in a job like this. Hesitation could mean the difference between life and death for someone, and James was not comfortable with continuing on as a risk to his co-workers and friends, and the innocent people that they were supposed to protect.

He shrugged a little, and knotted the tie with efficiency that came from doing it nearly every day since he had been eleven, then turned to look at his best friend. "I talked to Moody today."

Sirius nodded and sat down on the couch. "He mentioned it. Have you considered what you're going to do next?"

James sat down on the couch next to Sirius and sat back, running his hands through his hair and sighing. "I haven't decided." He had more than enough money to do whatever he wanted, with his inheritance and all, but he wasn't sure if he could stand the tedious boredom of doing nothing. "Moody offered me a year's leave of absence. He said that if I want the job back between now and a year, I can have it. If not, that's fine too."

"I thought you were going to try for a little longer," Sirius observed, tilting his head to the side.

James shook his head a little. "Not after last night."

They both fell silent, unconsiously exchanging identical grim looks as they remembered:

Another raid, this one just as gruesome, only this time, for a different Auror. He'd lost his pregnant wife and aged father.

James rubbed his eyes again, wondering how the world could be so twisted as to allow such things to happen.

"Potter," a gruff voice said sharply.

James and Sirius both looked towards the door, and stood up. "Yes, sir?" James asked.

"Dumbledore's on the Floo for ya," Moody growled, leaning against the door frame. "'E's got a proposition fer ya, I'd suspect. Consider it."

He offered no further hints, but turned and limped away.

Curiously wary, James went over to the fireplace and threw powder in.

A moment passed, and then the Headmaster's head popped up. "Hello, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black."

"Hello, Professor," James said politely. "How can I help you?"

Dumbledore gave him a cheery smile. "Alastor has informed me that you are taking some time off," he said.

James nodded slightly, frowning, and glanced back at Sirius, who crossed his arms and frowned.

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. "It seems that we've run out of Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers again, and you seem to be out of a job... Would you be at all interested in going back to Hogwarts?"

Notes: Not a fun chapter to write, I'll tell you. :( I cried my way through it, and I hope that didn't mess up the writing of it.
Interested in hearing any comments about the writing in general, grammatical errors, and what you think of James and Sirius, and the little glimpses you get of them. Am I showing they're really close, but not slashy close? Is there something else Sirius should have done, or James should have done? The scene at the morgue, I want to get the image across that they're embracing, Sirius really supporting James, but I'm not sure I've done that quite right. That part is supposed to be the point where everything hits James, and I want people to realize he gets *slammed* by everything.

Next chapter rewrite/edit thing will be out eventually- I don't know how much I'm actually going to rewrite, and how much is just editing. I think this chapter will be the one that gets the most done to it, but I'm not sure.

Comments and suggestions welcome!
And don't forget that I've also posted chapter five!!

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews!!