"Pervert!" A shoe flew through the air, aimed directly at his head. Jaune only managed to move his head in time to dodge it, cringing as he heard it thud on the wall directly behind him.

"What are you doing with that?!"

"Put it down!"
"I knew Jaune could sink low, but to be a complete pervert-!"

'I really am roasted...' Jaune trembled in his place, his legs shivering and the object in his hands fluttering in the wind of the air conditioning in the corridors. The boy backed up against the wall, shaking his head.

"G-guys! I didn't...this wasn't me! I promise! I swear, I didn't do it on purpose!"

"No self-respecting normal guy would do something like that!"

The crowd was rounding on Jaune, and he was running out of breathing space. The crowd consisted of male students and female students, clad in the Beacon uniform, staring at him accusingly. Jaune shook his head, sinking down to one knee.

Weiss was in her chair, shuddering and blushing, shaking her head as the rest of the classroom rounded on him.

"P-please! I'm serious! I...I didn't..."

He held up the object in his hands, trying to discard it as best as he could.

"Damn it..."

The object was a pair of white, snowflake-embroidered panties, with the owner's name, 'Weiss Schnee', sewn on in gold thread around the top, made of fine silk.

And Jaune had pulled it out of his backpack.

You're probably wondering what on Remnant's going on, aren't you? Well, dear reader, nothing is ever as it seems.

After all, it would be far too easy to make Jaune the loveable sex maniac of the tale we weave today, and it would be even easier to make him the accidental pervert- not that he isn't one right now, but there is a far more...interesting reason for his current predicament.

This morning, JNPR dorm...

It was a beautiful day, by all accounts. The skies were blue, the clouds fluffy and almost luminous, and the scent of spring was everywhere, filtering in through the open window.

Of course, that could've been the pollen talking, and certainly, the unfortunate part of the population with allergies had absolutely no reason to believe today was a good day. However, for one Jaune Arc, he had all the reason to believe it was.

The boy groaned, wrenching himself out of his bed. He almost rolled out of bed, dumping his blanket on the floor. Rubbing his head, Jaune calmly picked up his blanket, flapping it out to rid it of dust and crumbs from Nora's pancakes the night before.

That girl ate nothing but pancakes, and left them all over the dorm; indeed, it was a miracle their dorm hadn't been condemned for an infestation of rats or cockroaches or whatever assorted pests fed on pancakes and pastries. It didn't help she draped the things in maple syrup and butter, either.

Jaune chuckled to himself as he picked up Nora's plates, calmly heading over to the dorm's sink to clean them up. He shivered slightly as the cold water ran over his hands and the smell of soap his nostrils. The knight rubbed a soapy sponge over the plates, ridding them of maple syrup and crumbs.

"You're up early, Jaune."

The knight jumped, looking behind him to see who had suddenly spoken behind him. It was just Pyrrha, clad in a thin red nightgown, her crimson hair draped behind her untied and somewhat unkempt. She smiled softly at Jaune, who settled back down, no longer startled.

"It's just you," Jaune clutched his chest with his dry hand, sighing. "You made me jump. I really didn't hear you wake up."
Pyrrha chuckled briefly. "It's alright. I was simply wondering why you were up so early. You're not excited for lessons, are you?"
"No, no. I just thought I'd sort out the dorm. It's pretty messy, what with all the plates Nora leaves and all the crumbs..." The knight shrugged casually. "It's nothing, really."
Pyrrha frowned. "That is...pretty hard work, knowing Nora's habits. Would you like me to...help?"
"N-no!" Jaune shook his head quickly. "I mean, no. You can just go back to bed! It's fine, really. I can handle it."
The spearmaiden nodded briefly. "You don't have to be so considerate all the time, Jaune. I did offer my help.

Are you entirely sure you can handle it?"
"I promise." Jaune laughed. "I can't handle a fight, but I can handle housekeeping. I don't need you to train me for that, really.

Cleaning up after seven sisters is pretty hard, after all."

"...you must tell me more about your sisters some time..." Pyrrha requested, tilting her head. "You sound like you love them very much."
"I am the big brother, after all. I've got to watch out for my own."

"I...see." The spearmaiden smiled sweetly at him. "You're far better of a person than you give yourself, you know."
Jaune was taken aback by her sudden profound comment, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his head. "I...uh...you too, Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha blushed herself, rubbing her arm softly. "...u-um."

The temperature in the room seemed to jump up three degrees. Jaune swore he'd put the heating down last night- or maybe it was his reddening cheeks.

Definitely the heating. The situation wasn't that awkward, was it?

"J-just...get back to bed already!" The knight cried. "I-I can handle it, honest!"

"Alright..." Pyrrha sounded slightly disappointed as she retreated back to bed at the other end of the room. At least, Jaune swore she was disappointed.

He thought his hearing had been pretty off since last night, as Pyrrha had accidentally hit him pretty hard in the head during training. The nurse had cleared him after a brief check-up, but he did feel as if something was off.

He felt like something incredibly stupid and completely out of the usual was going to happen; the type of thing that happened only in the sort of anime where crazy women who couldn't spit it out beat up the ones they loved while claiming not to love them, or the sort of fanfic where Blake of all people was a hot-blooded mech pilot; Jaune had read those and he found them completely terrible.

Of course, he had absolutely no reason to think something stupid would happen. After all, this was reality, and surely shenanigans like that hardly happened in real life, right?

Two hours later...

Jaune slipped on his jacket, stretching his arms and grabbing his bag from a nearby chair. Pyrrha was in front of the dorm's dressing table, making sure her ponytail was fixed right and slipping it behind her head.

Nora was practically bursting with excitement, as always. She was almost vibrating with the amount of jumping she was doing.

"Are we going to blow things up today?" Nora inquired, bobbing her head about. "Come on, they said they'd let us blow things up today?"
"Professor Port said he would let us help inflate Edgar's new toy." Ren pointed out calmly, rubbing his temples. "Not the same thing."

"Awww...but whyyyyy?!" The berserker whined, stomping the ground childishly. "That's not fair! I want to do fun things!"

Jaune laughed, shaking his head. "Someday, Nora. Guys, I'm heading up to class first. I want to drop by my locker first. You guys alright?"
"Alright." Pyrrha nodded, waving at him briefly. "See you later, Jaune."

"See you around!" The knight waved back, before walking out of the room and strolling down the corridor.

'...it's been...pretty awkward with Pyrrha, lately.' Jaune reflected, looking down as he made his way down to the lockers. '...I mean, I'm not in an anime, right? She's blushing a lot, and wanting to know more about me, but this isn't an anime.

I don't think she'd really...no way. Gah, why am I thinking about this?'

Jaune suddenly stumbled over something on the floor, tripping forward a small distance. He blinked, shaking his head to reacquire his bearings. He studied the object he'd tripped upon.

It wasn't something too big- just a small phone, covered in stickers of various cute versions of Grimm and with a small, cute pink strap attached to the top. He blinked, crouching and picking up the phone, examining it closely.

"Who dropped this?" The knight stared at it briefly, before a doe Faunus girl ran across to him, looking down at him.

"T-that's mine. I-I accidentally dropped it w-while I was r-running..." The Faunus girl stated, frowning. "C-Can I have it back?"

Jaune nodded. "Sure, no problem. I-"

"Choose."

A shudder shot through Jaune's spine, as a deep voice sounded in his head. He blinked briefly, looking up, and he heard it again, asking him to-

"Choose."
"Huh?" Jaune looked up at the girl. "Did you say something?"

The doe Faunus stared at him strangely. "Huh? I just asked you about m-my phone-"

"Your first choice is to sniff the phone like a dog, panting like one and looking at her. Alternatively, you may lick the phone while staring at her creepily." The voice continued speaking to Jaune, a small tone of amusement within the voice. Jaune looked up and around himself, and the world seemed to change before his eyes.

The signs that once gave him directions to the various parts of the school had their text changed to reflect the absurd choices he had been given. Jaune's eyes widened.

'W-what...what kind of choice is that? It's just in my head- I'm just seeing things. I have a concussion from last night, that's all! I don't have to-'

A sharp barb of pain shot through Jaune's head, forcing him to the ground.

"Agh!"
The doe Faunus tilted her head. "W-what's wrong?"

"You must choose. Sniff the phone and look at her like a dog, or lick it and stare at her creepily."

'U-ugh...no way!' Jaune declared mentally, shaking his head. 'I won't do it.'

Another shot of pain pulsed through his head. The knight clutched his temple, blinking with the pain.

"Choose. Sniff it like a dog, or lick it like a pervert."

'U-ugh...the pain won't stop! I...I have to choose...

...I have to pick one...fine...I'll sniff it, I'll sniff it! Leave me alone...'

Jaune shuddered briefly, shaking his head and looking up at the girl apologetically. "I...I'm sorry for what I'm about to do..."

"Huh-"

The knight reluctantly sniffed the phone deeply, taking in its scent- it smelled faintly of strawberry perfume. As the girl stared at him, eyes widening, he felt his head begin to shift upwards, his face twisting into an apologetic expression.

'N-no...what the hell is this thing doing to me?'

He stared at her with puppy-like eyes, whimpering as he handed the phone to her. The doe Faunus stared at him, shaking her head.

"W-what are you doing? Y-you're not a dog..."

"I...I'm...sorry-"

The doe Faunus took her phone back from him, leaving Jaune to look down at his hands in shock.

'What the...what just...happened? What forced me to do that? Am I hallucinating?'

Jaune shuddered, gathering himself and standing up. '...I'm just hallucinating. That's all! I'll just head to class and drop by the nurse later.

Then it'll all be fine!'

Jaune breathed heavily as he strolled into Professor Port's class, shaking his head and rubbing his head, trying to get his bearings.

"Alright. That voice is gone." The knight breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm...I'm safe now, right?"
"Jaune?"

The knight jumped slightly, staring to his left to see none other than the Legendary Ice Queen, Weiss Schnee.

"...W-Weiss!" The knight stated, relieved, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Right, right, hi!"

"You're babbling to yourself." The heiress muttered irritably, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "What are you doing?"
"I...I've just had a bit of a rough way here. I kinda tripped and hit my head on the way here." The knight explained, laughing nervously. "Nothing really happened, really!"

"Quit muttering to yourself then." Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "You must've hit your head harder than you believed, but if you believe you're fine, then I won't pressure you further.

So, Jaune. Do you have the notes on Grimm Biology I lent to you last night?"

"...y-yeah! Of course!" Jaune laughed again, digging around in his bag for the large binder containing the notes he'd been lent. "They were really useful, Weiss! Haha, thanks..."
"You're laughing like a buffoon..." The heiress muttered irritably.

"Choose."

Jaune's eyes widened in terror as the voice returned, its voice deep as ever. His world suddenly faded into a flurry of what appeared to be two choice boxes, surrounding him entirely in a perfect cylinder, listing out his choices for him.

The knight tried to ignore the signs, looking away and closing his eyes.

'...I-I'm hallucinating again. It's fine, as long as I ignore it, it won't-'

"You may either pull out a pair of Weiss' panties before you pull out her binder, or you may pull out a dead rat."

'That's absurd! I'm not picking either-'

Jaune felt the same pain shoot through his head again. He cried out in pain, clutching his temples with his hands.

"A pair of Weiss' panties, or a dead rat. You must choose immediately."

'...a pair of Weiss'...panties? Okay, I know this isn't real.' Jaune sighed in relief, still gritting his teeth to ignore the pain. '...no way this thing can make me summon h-her panties, right? Right?

...fine, fine, I'll pull out her panties. It's not like this voice can really-'

Something soft and silky filled Jaune's hands and he stopped.

'...no. Impossible.' The knight felt the material, shuddering in fear. 'Please tell me this isn't...'

Reluctantly, Jaune pulled out the object. Weiss stopped briefly, before staring at the object in abject horror and embarrassment.

It was a pair of Weiss' panties; pale-blue and marked with a snowflake, with her name embroidered into the top with golden thread.

"...h-how..." The heiress stared at the panties and then at Jaune, blushing profusely. "...i-impossible..."

'Oh no. Oh gods no.'

"You...PERVERT!" Weiss roared, turning the entire room's attention to him and the underwear in his hands.

'What the...how did it...no, no!' Jaune shook his head in horror as he looked at Weiss' panties in his hand.

"I-I didn't...I-"
"Pervert!"

A shoe soared through the air at Jaune, one which he barely dodged.

The power of choice is an interesting force- it has mended relationships, broken alliances, created technological advancements and caused catastrophic wars beyond measure. There are those who take choice for granted, who ignore the power that free will grants to them, not understanding its role in the formation of the world they know today.

But what will one do when forced to make decisions? What will one do when faced with an Absolute Choice?

That is the tale we shall tell about our so-cursed protagonist, a tale of decisions and a tale of romance.

This is the tale of the Knight's Absolute Choice.

To be continued...

DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would have a badass steed to go with his knight motif.

NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to a new concept I had. Recently, I heard of this nice light novel series-now adapted to an anime- which, like all good light novel series, has a shortened name from it's ridiculously long name to something easy to say, which is in this case, NouCome. The full English title translates to "My Mental Choices are Completely Interfering with my School Romantic Comedy"...which sums up this story as a whole.

The whole concept of the story is that an unfortunate sod of a boy is basically forced to choose between two sadistic choices- the aforementioned Absolute Choice- or suffer constant, incurable and severe headaches, and reality will warp itself to facilitate his choice- as you saw when Jaune pulled out Weiss' panties when he clearly couldn't have gotten them at all.

I decided it was a good idea to give one to Jaune, too. For those curious, this fic takes place in a lighter version of canon (White Fang not as big a threat, less Grimm attacks) and with, obviously, Absolute Choice.

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!