Standard Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

~:~

When I was twelve, I had my first boyfriend.

Chances slim to nothing, it was someone I initially didn't want to be with.

Edward Cullen.

I hated him since third grade,

He was the quiet kid. He barely spoke in class, but around his friend, he was talkative. One summer before third grade, his whole personality changed.

The quiet demeanor disappeared.

His outgoing attitude became a permanent fixation.

Apparently, being brave made him unafraid to pick on me.

He embarrassed me by pushing me in the mud, post rainy day in front of all our classmates during recess.

"I hate you!" he screamed through my tears. "You four-eyed girls are nothing but bitches!"

He was mean for an eight-year-old.

Whatever happened that summer, it stripped away the shyness he used to have.

Since that day, I couldn't stand to be around him.

Teachers always paired us up together for assignments. As soon as they could sense our intense dislike for each other, they'd try anything to get us to make up.

We didn't.

What it took was a kiss in seventh grade.

We were at Paul's house for a robotics social. Wanting to spice things up, Paul suggested we play truth or dare.

I still wore glasses then, but for a "four-eyes chick," I wasn't a social outcast. My classmates said I'm pretty with or without them.

It was Leah's dare. She wanted to push our hatred for each other to a point where he'd refuse to kiss me and be called a coward.

He did the dare.

My eyes were wide open in shock when I felt his lips pressed against mine.

I was ashamed to admit there were the over exaggerated fireworks for a first kiss.

When the game ended and we headed home, he walked next to me and made a confession.

"I kissed you because I like you."

"I thought you hated me."

"No. I hate blond girls with glasses."

"Ummm... I'm blond and I wear glasses."

"I know. Past that, you're pretty cool."

That's how the hatred faded. He only hated me because I reminded him of Tanya, a girl that bullied him when he was at summer camp. He took out his pent-up anger on me.

We talked through it. But we didn't go from enemies to friends. Friendship came later.

In the middle, we pushed for a relationship.

Obviously, it didn't work out. It ended in one month.

It came down to rushing into things. Realizing our feelings abruptly, we failed to attempt to warm up to each other as friends before being a couple.

The relationship was awkward. There were too many uncomfortable silent moments when we were alone. When we had disagreements here and there, it actually made me happy.

Besides the kissing, I wondered if what we had was worth letting on.

"I can't be with someone I'd want to be away from when we're together."

He understood. He felt the same way.

Friendship was easier afterward. We promised if things were better later on and we still had feelings for each other, we'd try again.

If only it were that easy.

~:~ ~:~ ~:~

At thirteen, my second boyfriend cheated on me.

It was someone I trusted.

Jasper Whitlock.

I met him in sixth grade in Mr. Shim's math class. Like Edward, he was a quiet person in class but talkative around his friends. Minus the personality shift, I didn't pay much attention to him until eighth grade.

We were classmates for four out of seven of my classes.

In science class, we sat next to each other. We started talking more when it became a daily routine to correct each other's worksheets.

I learned bits and pieces of his personal life.

His older sister was in the air force.

He chewed gum before any test.

He played basketball at the local playground when we needed to be alone.

Every day, I asked him a random question.

He answered them.

I did too.

We had things in common. With quirky personalities, we clicked. We went from acquaintances to friends.

At the Valentine's Day dance, he pulled me in for a slow dance.

"I don't know how to slow dance."

"So do I."

"Then why are we doing this?"

"Because we'll learn together."

So I danced with him. Edward gave me a thumbs-up when he saw us, slow-dancing with another eighth-grader.

I didn't care that I kept stepping on his toes. We smiled and laughed through it.

I developed a crush on him over the last few months.

I looked at the signs. It seemed as if he might be interested in me too.

I'm like that. I read people. I'm good at it. It's how Vera, Emily, Seth, and I became best friends.

After the slow dance, I pulled him aside and asked him out.

He said yes.

We went on two dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend.

By then, my crush felt like nothing.

I was falling for him.

This time, I didn't rush into things.

Everything came naturally. We treated each other like we were as friends. As a couple, those moments strengthened with the addition of romantic gestures.

Kissing. Hugging. Taking turns paying for dates. Buying each other inexpensive gifts here and there.

The student body thought we were a cute couple.

Blonde and blonde. It felt perfect.

I should have known perfection doesn't describe a seemingly perfect relationship.

Bliss came crashing down with doubts.

As much as I was happier being with him than Edward, I suspected he wasn't being entirely truthful.

I wasn't getting the best vibes from his best friend Alice.

When he's not with me, he's with her. I get that they're best friends. I didn't want to be the girlfriend preventing her boyfriend from hanging out with his friends.

I was understanding.

That costed me.

As honest as I can be, finding honesty back isn't one hundred percent obtainable.

Alice was his best friend. My paranoia of her and him being more than friends should have led me to the truth sooner.

I should have followed my instincts.

Days before our six-month anniversary, I caught them. In public.

Riding my skateboard to school. Witnessing them make out at the field behind the locker room.

My instant anger. The betrayal.

The refusal to believe the truth.

"Are you kidding me?"

"R-Rosalie! I can explain!"

"No... there's no need. That's all I needed to see."

That was our place. He'd take me there during lunch when he wanted to steal a kiss away from our friends.

Cynthia, Alice's other best friend, told me the truth a few days later. They'd been seeing each other behind my back for weeks. It started somewhere around three months since we started dating.

"She always loved him. I warned her that Jasper likes you, but she wouldn't listen. Turns out, he loved her too. They thought they had unrequited feelings before you came along."

Alice didn't listen. But he did. He picked her over me.

Never did I believe I'd be on the bitter end of a cheating escapade.

I wasn't mad about the kiss. I was mad about the affair itself.

I was mad about how long he kept it a secret.

So, we indirectly broke up. Instead of talking it out, we changed our Facebook relationship status into "Single."

I did. His changed into "In a relationship with Mary Alice Brandon" a week later.

I stayed out of the drama.

I let the pity sink in.

Students took my side while he and Alice walked around school holding hands, scornfully glaring at them when they walked past.

Edward even punched him on the face for me.

"No one hurts my girl!" My girl, as in "the girl I'll do anything to protect."

With the exception of Edward and Seth, I resented all boys after him.

I was pissed off.

I dyed my hair black, unhappy how my long golden blonde locks radiated happiness.

I wasn't happy.

Did this ever happened to a girl at thirteen?

Ever?

~:~ ~:~ ~:~

At fourteen, my third boyfriend left me.

Well... he wasn't my boyfriend. But he was my crush.

Jacob Black.

We met during club rush on my first week of high school. My friends and I agreed to join Key Club, but I wanted to sign up for one more club.

He was a sophomore, the secretary of the Pacific Asian and Affairs Council. His face was vaguely familiar, one of my classmates in Japanese 1.

"Join PAAC!"

"Give me one good reason why."

"Do you like Asia?"

"Does being an otaku count?"

"Yeah! By the way, I'm an otaku too."

For a pretty girl, I had a nerdy side.

I changed in high school. Along with the black hair, I switched my glasses for dark blue contacts to match my eyes.

Boys flirted with me.

I flirted back, but not enough to hint I'm interested in them. Give them what they want without subjecting myself to dating. If they wanted more, I always had Edward by my side.

He wasn't one of them. He didn't flirt.

It was easier for us to become friends. Though I didn't trust boys, I didn't mind putting any in the friend zone.

Recognizing me from club rush the following day in Japanese 1, he started talking to me.

He helped me adjust to high school.

He fended off male attention from upperclassmen.

He made me love PAAC.

He was the ideal friend.

No one cared a sophomore enjoyed hanging around a freshman. There were perks of both of us being hot.

Months passed. By the end of first semester, I thought I'd go through one year without boy trouble.

It would have been if I didn't develop a crush on him.

Spring started. While I watched people around me fall under flu season, I tried to find a present for his 16th birthday. Vera gave me the idea.

"What do you think he'd like?"

"Jake's your friend. You know him well."

"But... what if he won't like what I give him?"

"Rose, it's Jacob Black. When has he not like what you do for him?"

He was appreciative. He liked every little gesture I'd do for him. It's what friends do.

I bought him two packs of starburst, a bar of Hershey's, and a jar of chocolate wafers.

He had a sweet tooth. He'd be the first one to share sugary snacks to during recess when I brought them to school.

He loved it.

In our physical science class, we split starburst pieces from one of the packages. I took all the yellow starbursts. He hated them. He didn't like the color yellow.

Somewhere, in our own little bubble, his smiles took my breath away.

In a cliche romantic moment, I realized I liked him. The feeling was absolute the next day.

His looks finally got to me. I understood why freshman girls were jealous about my friendship with him.

What should have been uncomfortable became the opposite. Crushing was okay. What wouldn't have been wass if he felt the same way.

I wasn't ready to be involved in another relationship.

Jasper and Alice were happily in love. I still couldn't stand seeing the happy couple. It disgusted me.

The final term progressed, and so did my feelings. Whether or not he saw them, it didn't change the way he treated me.

It was his signature trait. He treated everyone with fairness, friends and strangers alike.

Not me. I treated people to reflect my relationship with them.

In May, my bad luck returned.

"What's up?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Is it something bad?"

"Rosalie, I'm moving away."

In two months, he was moving to Europe. His dad's company was being relocated there after a joint partnership with a Russian business partner. The whole family was leaving in the summer.

I thought I had all the time in the world. All I had was three weeks.

He was a great guy. I believed there'd eventually be a time when I'd be ready for another boyfriend.

I saw that in him.

Love sucked.

But I still told him, on the last day of school.

"Jake, before you leave, can I tell you something?"

"You have a confession too?"

"Yeah... a big one."

"Let me guess. You like me."

He was guessing, but sensing my serious expression, he made his confession.

He liked me too.

He liked me since the first day we spoke at club rush. He thought there was something he'd like about me when I told him I was an otaku.

Like Jasper, we clicked.

Unlike Jasper, he wasn't a liar.

I was blind. How had I not see he wanted me all along? He respected my wariness after learning about my failure of boyfriends. He treated me as a friend, because he wanted to prove there are men that aren't jerks.

We cried. We embraced. We kissed under the canopy of a tree. We said goodbye at the stoplight in front of the school before going our separate ways.

Our real goodbye was at his farewell party.

That few weeks before he left, we spent as much time as we could together. It was a relationship we wished could last, but we knew better.

Long-distance wouldn't work. We chose to stay as friends. It was better that way.

To choose between the hurt now or later, now hurted less.

~:~ ~:~ ~:~

At fifteen, my fourth boyfriend was taken away from me.

It was someone I thought would be my true love.

Riley Biers.

After Jacob's departure, my friends helped me nurse through my heartbreak. I stopped dying my hair black, gradually watching it revert back to its natural golden blonde color.

Once school resumed, I surprised boys, though they still flirted with me. As long as my face didn't change, I was still beautiful in their eyes.

He wasn't a new face. I saw him around since middle school, but never bothered to speak to him. We were on opposite poles of popularity.

He was student council popular.

I was hot nerd popular.

I barely knew him, other than he was cute and a major class clown.

Half my type. The other half is someone with a sly side that isn't afraid to point out my flaws. Like Edward.

We talked to each other for the first time at the homecoming game. We were waiting in line, getting something to eat at the concession stand.

"Rosalie Hale, right?"

"Mmm-hmm. You're Riley Biers."

"Then there's no need for introductions."

"Not at all."

"So... who do you think will win?"

"I don't know. If our team wins, yay for us."

"You're not into football."

"Not one bit."

I was only at the game for the experience. Emily insisted one homecoming game wouldn't hurt.

I didn't do sports, even if I'm not too bad at them in PE. Sports bored me. I wasn't into watching sweaty people tackle each other for a ball. I tolerated the game for homecoming week. I had enough high spirits to join the general popular wagon and sit through one football game.

It was the same for him.

He did it for his friends, who wanted to support their friends in the football team or cheerleading squad.

That one similarity pushed for a lengthy conversation.

He sat with my friends and I. For one night, we got to know him as if we hadn't met him before.

It lasted for more than a night. I got his phone number at the game and we found time to hang out, just the two of us.

His humor was infectious. His lightheartedness carried outside the classroom.

Like Jacob, it was an easy transition from strangers to friends.

Speaking of Jacob, I communicated with him through emails. My crush on him didn't fade away yet, but at least our closeness didn't. The distance was torture, but since our feelings were mutual, my feelings weren't a complete waste.

I focused my attention on him. After one year sworn off boyfriends, my heart was ready for another one.

My fragile, yet accepting, heart wanted it to be him.

I made it happen. The week before winter break was our moment.

"Hey Rosalie. Mistletoe."

"So it is."

"Do you-"

"Riley, don't do it unless you want to."

"Trust me, I want to."

"I don't trust easily. Do you want to because of the mistletoe? Would you kiss me without it?"

"Definitely. I like you."

Underneath the mistletoe, we shared a kiss. It wasn't even weird the mistletoe was hung underneath the stairs of a school building, where anyone could see us.

I didn't care. The kiss was amazing. Who cared if we weren't alone?

We didn't immediately become a couple. It took us numerous dates until he asked.

He wanted to make sure I had no doubts.

He was the epitome of a popular guy. Inside, he was like me, looking for a relationship beyond casual.

This time, I didn't call our relationship perfect. It was imperfect, a balance between rights and wrongs. We didn't agree to everything. If we did, our relationship would be based on pleasing the other.

I was happy with him. He didn't change who he was before we were serious with each other.

For once, I felt safe.

For once, I felt sure nothing bad would happen to us.

However, as love goes for me, bad followed me.

He got into a car accident.

The following week marked our six-month anniversary. We wanted to celebrate the occasion with a riverside picnic.

He was going on a camping trip with his family for the weekend. It was their first weekend as a family in a long time.

They never made it to the camping site.

A semi-truck crashed into their van on the way.

Victoria, a friend of Riley, called me to meet her at the hospital.

His parents died at the scene.

His younger brother, Diego, had several broken bones, but the doctor said Diego would live.

He ended up in a coma. The doctor said he had a 50-50 chance of waking up.

I bawled on his chest when the nurse allowed me to see him. He looked so broken. I almost believed he was dead.

I didn't even tell him I loved him. I was waiting for our half-anniversary to tell him. I felt sure I came to a point where my feelings surpassed beyond like.

I believed in "I love you."

In his state, I may never get the chance to tell him.

.

~:~ ~:~ ~:~

At sixteen, my fourth boyfriend conflicted with sudden sparks for my first boyfriend.

I regret falling for Edward again.

For weeks, Riley was hospitalized. Because his parents were dead, the doctor depended on his direct aunt and uncle from his mom's side to make some medical decisions.

If Riley's parents were alive, they'd pull the plug. I would too. I was selfish to hold on, but I was also selfish to see him suffer.

We talked about it, a conversation of a distant future.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Riley, I don't make promises."

"Then do it for me."

"Now?"

"Later."

"What is it?"

"If something happens to either of us, be happy."

"Why? Do you think one of us will die in the next five years?"

"You never know. I want this to be a promise."

"Why?"

"Say if one of us die before we're married. I want to be absolutely positive you or me will find happiness when the other is gone."

"Do you believe we'll get married?"

"Someday. I believe in us."

Riley was a dreamer. He tried to make every little dream come true and work toward accomplishing long-term dreams.

Like marriage. It was possible. We were on the right track.

I held Riley's hand during every visit. I spoke to him as if he was alive and he'd answer back any minute. The more I spoke, the more likely it would be he'd wake up. It was one of the few things I knew about health.

I wanted him to come back. I missed him, I missed him more than Jacob.

My friends visited him too. We came to see him as part of our circle since the homecoming game.

We didn't go to the homecoming game in our junior year. It didn't feel the same without Riley.

Days and night were lonely. I tried not to cry. Riley wasn't dead. If I needed to cry, I'd do it if he was beside me.

I literally cried on his shoulders. For a minute, I'd imagine the body next to mine is my boyfriend.

It was a heavy burden, but he didn't mind.

"I still remember making you cry in third grade. This is the best way I can make it up to you." He told me this the first time I texted him in the middle of the night to come over to my house.

It wasn't enough. I didn't want him to do his nightly visits just to make me feel better.

I started wishing he did it on his account, not mine.

I wanted him to myself. And I didn't even like him.

The school year wore on. I behaved the role of the said girlfriend. Riley's accident put me under the spotlight more than I was before. I was the center of good gossip.

By Thanksgiving, I handled crying alone.

By Christmas, I was ready for the possibility of Riley's relatives pulling the plug.

By junior prom, I felt normal.

Sort of. Besides Riley, Isabella Swan was on my radar.

I don't hate her. Far from it. She's a good girl. Too good that sometimes, it was too much for me.

She's Edward's best friend. Like Vera, Emily, and Seth are to me, he and Bella shared a definitive closeness I didn't have with him. They knew each other since they were three.

She filled the role of everything a best friend is to him.

I only filled half of it. I was envious.

She was pure. Innocent. Like me, she used to wear glasses, but started using contacts in middle school. Unlike me, she looked average. Smart too, but not enough to fall with hopeless geeks.

Her friendship with him kept from falling to the bottom. That, and being the lead singer of Transcend, a band comprised of his friends.

I wanted to be her for a day. I wondered how it felt to be a girl that didn't worry about boyfriends.

He could be hers. My classmates anticipated the day they'd hook up. They had many chances since we broke up.

He chose to be single, with a date every now and then.

I never asked, but I wondered if he still liked me. Maybe. He was protective of me.

That didnn't change the fact I had a serious boyfriend. A boyfriend I still was in love with.

A boyfriend I questioned my love for after another cry fest.

He snuck through my window like always. That time, he had a determined expression on his face.

He was usually concerned when I texted him to come over. Any other vibe other than concert piqued my curiosity.

"Edward."

"Rose."

"Ummm… you okay?"

"Yeah… you?"

"Not so much."

It was awkward, but his next words stunned me.

"Stop crying."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not worth it."

"Are you saying Riley's not worth it?"

"I… I guess. I don't know. I know he's your boyfriend, but it's always the same. What if he stays in a coma until he dies years from now? Do you expect me to do this until then? Why can't you just be happy?"

"Edward, I can't be happy if there's a chance Riley would wake us. He could die. That's a total insult to say that."

"Well, it's any insult to me to see you cry all the time. Didn't Riley say he'd want you to be happy?"

"He's not dead."

"It doesn't matter! He has been in a coma for months! What if he doesn't wake up? Will you still love him after death?"

"Uh… duh! But I'll move on, like I always do."

"Then move on now. Love someone who already loves you?"

"Like who?"

"Me. I love you, Rose. It kills me you dated Riley before I could tell you."

In a drawn out argument, he confessed his love to me. That night, I learned the depth of his feelings.

He loved me since the day Jacob left. The way he watched us with our final moment at the farewell party stirred jealousy in him, a feeling he hadn't had since Jasper cheated on me.

He was careful about falling for me. He hoped for a day I'd love him too.

He left with a promise to wait for me. He swore that as long as I hadn't rejected him (I needed time to think about it), there was a chance I could return his feelings.

I did, but I waited a day too late..

We kept the conversation hidden from my friends. There was no point revealing it when they'd probably tell me to do what I felt was right.

I didn't know what the right thing was.

Was it Riley, the boy the believed in a future where an us existed?

Or Edward, the boy that would do anything to take away every tear I shed?

I got my answer three weeks after his confessions.

He snuck through my window unannounced. I wasn't crying. I was fine, so I was surprised when he jumped into my room and started kissing me.

I thought he was drunk.

He wasn't. I couldn't taste a trace of alcohol on his lips.

"Edward! What are you doing?"

"Shhh… trust me."

"Dude!"

"Rosalie Lillian Hale. Tonight, will you pretend that reality doesn't exist?"

"Edward Anthony Cullen. Don't you know I would if I could?"

"Then do it."

So I did. The vulnerability in his emerald orbs told me he needed this.

That night, it was about him.

That night, I pretended there was nothing to hold us back.

I pretended it was the right thing to do.

For a few hours, we acted as if we were a couple.

First kiss.

First boyfriend.

First boy I ever slept with.

He laid there next to me the next morning. Our parents never knew. The serious conversation of why he showed up also came.

"Bella loves me."

"Wait… what?"

"She's in love with me."

"When did she say that?"

"Yesterday."

"And… how do you feel?"

"I don't know."

He didn't know. His eyes were in two direction.

In one way, he wanted Bella as more than a friend.

In a second way, he wanted me more.

He realized he loved us both. He came over last night so he could get away from making a decision.

If he chose Bella, he'd be safe.

If he chose me, he'd play with fire.

A small piece of my heart wanted him to choose me.

One percent of my thoughts loved him over Riley.

It was the clue I needed. But I waited. It was his decision to make, not mine.

I wished I was the one to say something.

The last week before summer break, Riley's doctor came to a conclusion. There was nothing to be done. Even on life support, his condition gradually deteriorated.

His relatives finally decided to pull the plug.

I expected it, but the decision still stung.

I never knew if he loved me back. He probably did. His aunt insisted he only had eyes for me.

On his last few hours, I spoke the words I intended to tell him on our half anniversary.

"I love you, Riley. Though we only knew each other for less than a year, I feel as if we've known each other forever. You get me. You don't care how messed up I am. If it wasn't for that stupid truck, we'd have that forever."

Then, I spoke the words my mind begged me to say.

"I… I wish we had that forever. But we never will. Even if you woke up, things are different. I've fallen for someone else. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did. If I could take it back, I would. But I can't. Love doesn't work that way."

"It's Edward. You probably wouldn't be surprised. You told me before we started going out we made a good couple in middle school. I guess we did, even though it was hard to stop hating his balls. Point is, now that we're older and I don't have the urge to punch his face, I know him better. I know we click better when we don't purposefully find faults in each other. I want to be with him, and I know this all sounds wrong when you're dying, but I have to say it. I was always honest with you. Well, I'm being honest with you now."

My words were sweet and hurtful. Whether or not he heard them, I was glad I got it off my chest.

He died peacefully overnight.

I cried, but I did what was right.

What wasn't right was seeing Bella kiss his cheek and holding his hand during lunch on that Monday.

The juniors were in an uproar.

First Riley, then a lead singer and her talented best friend became a couple.

A perfect combination of sorrow and scandal.

My friends barely kept me from tearing myself apart.

I "broke up" with Riley for him.

He chose Bella over me.

I was shot right back into the bitterness.

~:~ ~:~ ~:~

Now, I'm seventeen and back to square one.

No boyfriend. I lost interest in getting one.

I dyed my hair back again. It's one thing I have that won't end badly. The worst that can happen is split ends.

When I said goodbye to Riley, Edward made his decision.

Ultimately, it had to be Bella. He could learn to truly love her. He did that with me.

No matter how much he loved me, he couldn't risk me hurting Riley while he was already hurt. if he woke up, he expected his adorable girlfriend to be in his arms.

Those were Edward's expectations. He should have known reality doesn't always work to his favor.

We didn't confront each other about the issue. We did it through texts.

That summer, we drifted apart. My friends helped me nurse my double heartbreak.

Edward spent time with Bella, trying to make their relationship work.

I avoided him while I helped Riley's family with the funeral. During the funeral, I played the role of his grieving girlfriend.

When senior year started, I was lost. My head couldn't think straight. My grades stayed high, but that was it.

Where's the motivation?

Where's my reason to believe love always doesn't end for me?

Where's the click with a boy that won't break my heart?

Betrayed.

Left.

Dead.

Misjudged.

Either way, all good relationships ended terribly for me.

Me, the girl that just wanted a boy not forced to let him go.

This is where I am today, walking into the gym for a second period PE class I'm not looking forward to for the semester.

My eyes land on a boy sitting alone at the bleacher, far from the rest of my new classmates. Something about this boy compels me to sit next to him.

He has a blank expression. If he noticed, he doesn't show it.

Dark brown hair that looks black under the flourescent lights.

Brown eyes staring straight ahead.

A physique body resembling an athlete's.

But his facial features. Innocent. Tough. He seems like a giant teddy bear.

And cute. My absolute type.

I don't even know his name. How have I not met him before? Already, he makes me want to get to know him.

"Hey." He's talking to me.

"Hi."

"Rebel Rose."

"Huh?"

"Sorry." He looks at me sheepishly. "My classmates call you Rebel Rose."

"Are you a junior?"

"Uh-huh."

Intriguing. "It's my hair, right?"

"Pretty much. But… I don't think you're a rebel."

"Then… what do you think of me?"

He hesitates, but grins with his response. "Someone that more than meets the eye." He extends a hand. "Emmett McCarthy."

I shake his hand, perplexed by his grin. "Rosalie Hale."

"I know. So tell me, why do you dye your hair black?"

No delays. He cuts right to the chase. A question that would be rude to some girls makes me feel a glimmer of hope.

This is where the hope starts, then the bliss, but ultimately the bitter end. I kept hoping things would be different, but all my relationships end badly, beyond cliche break-ups.

Emmett could be the fifth one.

Is it worth it?

Blue staring into brown, my stomach tingles.

Love at first sight.

Okay, maybe not love at first sight.

Hope at first sight. That makes much more sense.

He doesn't have to be a statistic. I don't know Emmett. It could be a fresh start.

I clicked before he spoke a word.

I shouldn't foresee the end/ It's the beginning. No fate or destiny. I can let things.

Not number five. Number one.

The first to grasp my heart before I opened it.