Chapter 2- Man of Perdition

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Kaneki has a strange dream that night.

He sees the blond again—Hide, amongst a field of sunflowers. His smile is bright and full of warmth as he stretches out a hand. Everything about him is warm, bringing about a pleasant lethargy which the half-ghoul basks in. For a moment, even in his dreams, he is no longer a monster. No longer is he straddled between two shifting worlds as if they are tectonic plates and he, a lone person stretched too thin above the hot coals and magma.

There is peace.

"Where are we, Hide?" He hears himself question, closing his eyes for a brief, brief moment.

The half-ghoul is met with silence. Slowly, his lids rise, and he realizes that he wasn't standing amongst a field of sunflowers—they were scattered bones instead. Yellowed from age, mouths agape, he sees a multitude of centipedes all crawling from their silent jowls.

Again, Kaneki had seen beauty in death. Why? He questions, frantically pushing away skull after skull in an attempt to find even a hint of sunflowers in the field of dry bone—they were there, he had seen them! Even a withered petal, anything to quell the voices in his head.

[You will never find happiness because miracles do not happen for monsters.]

"I don't believe it! Is it bad for us to want to live?!" He hears himself repeating the words that Touka had once spoke, words he had not understood so early in his life as a half-ghoul.

Fingers find purchase against the soil and as he bares his black nails against the dirt, something about the size of a pebble presses against his palm.

The voices stop. Cupping the object with trembling fingers, Kaneki breathes out a sigh of relief. It is a seed.

It is there that the dream ends and the white-haired boy is thrown into the gentle lull that only a dreamless sleep provides.

Kaneki often dreams of the bone field—this, however, was the first time he had found anything other than the whispers of Death. When he wakes the next morning the familiar sensation of déjà vu returns and with it, a dull throbbing behind his eyelids. It feels like he's experienced this pain once before, in a time where perhaps the sunshine boy is more familiar, a common thought and mantra in his head. The familiarity is there—that is why he can joke with the blond, something he could rarely do with even regular customers at Anteiku.

Perhaps they had met once before—in another life.

Kaneki sighs and shakes his head, cold hands brushing through the tangled mess of bed-head he has accumulated. Such beliefs were nothing but mere fairytales, superstitions that made death easier to handle.

It was impossible… like his dream told him. Miracles didn't happen for monsters. And there was no way this was a second chance at finding the same person again in a different universe. He was still the protagonist of tragedy; nothing had changed. He was just lonelier and emptier.

"What sort of do-over is this? It feels like my fate is cursed." The boy mutters to himself, slinking unhappily from his bed to begin another day.

Little does he know what sort of fated coincidences were to guide him that day—and make it far from the regular (well, as regular as being a half-ghoul could be) day.

It is in the daylight that Kaneki realizes how close Hide's apartment complex is to Anteiku. In fact, he had crossed past the open field beside the building numerous times as a short cut from his own home. The night's events played through his head as, almost whimsically, the white-haired youth climbs up the metal stairs to reach the 3rd floor where Hide lived. Spotting the glint of metal in the sunlight, he makes sure no humans are around before walking towards his assumed gift.

Ah, I didn't think he'd actually do it.

As silent as possible, Kaneki bends down to pick up the can of coffee, fingers tightening around the familiar coffee brand. It's one of his favorite store-bought brands even if it's nothing like the coffee at Anteiku. A smile plays on his lips at the sight of the crudely drawn caricature of himself—with the mask on, of course. He reads the words, imagining them in Hide's voice before stuffing the note into his pocket.

Thanks, Hide…

And so the half-ghoul continues onward, walking the deserted streets to the coffee shop which became his home. He had taken the early morning weekend shift to free Touka up for her exams; the dark-haired woman had gotten into Kamii with dedication and hard-work and sat on her 2nd semester with relatively good grades.

Kaneki's lips lifted upwards at the thought. He was glad that Nishiki and Touka had managed to keep up with their studies and their work at Anteiku.

For me… Anteiku is a distraction. It eats up hours of my day so I do not have to spend them questioning my own morals—and, of course, allows me some semblance of a regular life. I have a schedule now… almost reminds me of when I was human—

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as the familiar form of the café becomes clearer. He sees young Hinami already at work, dusting off the leftover chalk from the day before, her elegant fingers perched against her chin as she eyes the board and begins to write anew.

Kaneki shakes his head; she's no longer the little girl who was afraid of strangers and clung behind her mother's legs. She's much stronger now—taller, no longer seemingly weighed down by a lead-like gravity that once caused her back to bow. She stands straighter in the morning light, flicking back her short auburn locks. She admires her handiwork, appreciative of the sloping cursive which makes out the coffee shop's name: Anteiku.

"Hinami-chan, good morning." The half-ghoul calls out, giving a soft smile.

Immediately, the girl turns around, a wide grin crossing her features. "Kaneki! Good morning! Would you like some coffee? Yoshimura-san just got a new delivery of beans…"

"I'm alright, thanks. Is it just us at the café today?"

The brunette nods. "Yeah… but Saturday mornings are pretty quiet. No one wakes up this early on the weekend."

The pair devolves into a pleasant silence as they walk up the brick steps and into the shop. The bell tinkers upon their arrival and already, Kaneki can hear the gentle whirl of the coffee machines. The warm scent of blended coffee beans drifts through the sun-soaked room—it was one of the few times that the white-haired boy pulled up the blinds completely, allowing in the natural light.

A brief memory flashes before his eyes—when he had first stumbled upon Anteiku back when he was much too human, much too naïve to worry about the dangers of ghouls. He had sat right by the windows with a cup of coffee to his right and a good book in his lap. He had whittled away hours in the pleasant atmosphere of the shop, unaware of the monster which lurked only tables away.

[And now you've become just as hideous—how pathetic.]

"Kaneki? Are you okay? You spaced out for a bit." A worried voice pierced his conscience as he turned to Hinami, giving a grin and a laugh. His left hand scratches his chin as he speaks, "I'm alright. Just… reminiscing, you could say. I'm going to go change into my uniform."

Disappearing into the backroom, he does not see the flash of grief which contorts the teen's face.

"You don't have to lie to me…" She murmurs out loud, ponderings interrupted by the shrill ring of the bell and the scent of a human.

There is a familiar thud of a briefcase.

Ah, Saturday mornings…

The canaries chirped pleasantly by his windowsill, the sun shone through the flakes of winter which fell ever so often from the evergreens, and even his landlady, a plump woman whom Hide had only met a handful of times, had not argued with him when he explained that his next paycheck wouldn't be coming in till next week.

It would have been a great morning, if he wasn't expected to damn the ghoul who had so selflessly defended him last night.

The guilt was there as he lay amongst the scattered files which depicted sightings of the white-haired mystery boy.

"Geez, you don't travel around too much do you, Kaneki? If you are trying to hide the fact that your home ward is the 20th you aren't doing a great job." He spoke to himself, giving a dejected laugh.

The blond allowed for the paper to slip from his hands as he rested against the couch, wondering briefly if the ghoul had accepted his gift or not. In a fit of annoyance, he threw the nearest empty coffee can towards the trash bin—

Unfortunately, he had never been too good of a shot. It hit the wall beside the wire basket, rolling on the wooden floor with an audible pop. For some reason, the idea that Kaneki could have lied about receiving the gift bothered him. He didn't want to think about what it meant if he could so easily lie to his face.

"Aghh, it's already 8:00am, I might as well check." He mused to himself, walking over to the door after depositing the coffee can accordingly.

Throwing his hand on the door, he gave the knob a quick shove, looking down expectantly at the hallway. The drink was gone.

Hide couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips. "Ah, I hope he likes it…"

A choked gasp fell from his lips as he was thrown into the brick wall, bones popping with an audible snap. Dizzy, the white-haired ghoul took in a ragged breath, snowflakes melting against his cheek.

The investigator was relentless. His silent demeanor only solidified his resolve, dark eyes emotionless in their careful observation of his opponent's beaten appearance.

"It's like the other investigators said… he really won't kill humans." Take Hirako noted, the lance-like quinque gripped tightly in his hands. He did not pause but rather shot forward, a smooth arc aimed just at the half-ghoul's neck.

Sliding against the wall, the weapon made contact with a few stray white locks but missed its assumed target completely. It was with this minute error that Kaneki swept a foot across the ground, aiming to take out the investigator's ankle.

It was successful—but also landed the boy with a metal lance through his left abdomen. Choking up blood, he watched as the Dove fell to the ground, relatively unhurt. His hands had left the quinque due to surprise and it fell from the boy's stomach to roll across the alleyway, stopping just below the tepid light of a flickering street lamp.

Taking in a sharp gasp, the half-ghoul's vision blurred as the demons inside him raged, pulsing in a steady rhythm against the bone arena of his skull. It throbbed with screams and pleas for human flesh even while he rose on shaking legs, feeling the thread-bare beginnings of healing the wound. It had already clotted and, with fingers pressed against the gaping hole, Kaneki dragged himself away with a surprising amount of speed, using his kagune to whip the ghoul investigator's weapon into the air and meters away from him.

[I've got to get back… get back to Anteiku—no, that would endanger Hinami.]

Trudging through the heavy snow, the half-ghoul disappeared through the maze of alleys that made up the more urban streets of the 20th ward at a quick enough pace that the rather emotionless investigator did not give chase.

As Kaneki traversed the winding streets, his feet guided him somewhere familiar, a place where the scent of sunflowers was strong.

Hirako got out his phone, pushing a single button. "Arima-san… I had a run-in with Eyepatch. He escaped." A pause. "My apologies. I'll talk to Nagachika-san. Eyepatch is definitely still active."

After spending the majority of his Saturday cooped inside his home, pouring over the case files, Hideyoshi Nagachika scratched his head, reclining in the sofa with a sigh. No longer could he bother with reading file after file—it was all filled with the same pointless dribble about how 'dangerous' and 'lethal' the white-haired ghoul was.

Oh, Hide knew that Kaneki was dangerous; that wasn't what irked him. It was the way in which how impersonal the documents were, as if they merely took physical observations, never once treading into the mind of the ghoul who also rescued humans and had never been linked to the cause of death in a human. No, he cannibalized because he didn't want to hurt humans, Hide had surmised rather easily.

While the case files assumed it was to gain strength and to scare other ghouls around him, it was obvious that they were written by investigators who held the utmost animosity for ghouls.

Still, there was one missing link that had caused quite a hindrance for Hide. In the case files, there had been a report of a missing college student—a Kaneki Ken that fit the time frame for around the time Eyepatch had first been spotted in the 20th ward. He had seen his file and while he could surmise that there was a resemblance between Eyepatch and the student, it was still a rough connection at best given the lack of concrete evidence.

Oh, Hide was sure that Kaneki Ken was Eyepatch; the ghoul had given him the same surname and it wasn't exactly common. No, the real question laid not with why the ghoul would have been so honest, but why he'd been so kind. All signs pointed to the boy being human up until a murky incident involving a steel beam incident—so, was it really possible for a human to become a ghoul? Was it his choice? Such questions swirled despairingly in his head as he slouched in the sofa, giving a tired sigh.

This case was gonna be the death of him.

Just before he could continue to ponder the intricacies of Kaneki's existence as a mediator between ghouls and humans, the bureau investigator heard a series of loud thuds coming from his front door, as if someone were trying to break in.

Startled, the investigator took the nearest 'weapon' he had, which, unfortunately, was a greasy frying pan from the sink. It wasn't his fault that he had just eaten dinner! Regardless, it was all he had and the blond could only wonder if perhaps one of Kaneki's friends had deemed him too much of a threat and had come by for a little snack—or worse, it was Kaneki himself. The idea of it being just a regular burglar was a bit too plain for the boy; better to die in a haze of bullets then in his sleep, he had always thought to himself. He had always been drawn to theatrics…

"Alright whoever you are! I'll give you ten seconds to leave, otherwise you're gonna have to deal with ghoul investigator Hideyoshi Nagachika!" He bellowed out, reaching for the door knob.

Swiftly, he opened the door, the frying pan clattering from his hands. "K-kaneki?"

With heavy breaths Kaneki turned his head upwards, crouched against the floor with a hand pressed against the wound in his stomach. "H-help… I—" He began to cough violently, spitting up blood as violent tremors wracked his injured body.

A lethargy creeped into his bones when he attempted to grip Hide's wrist. "I-I couldn't go… anywhere else. An investigator… found me. He c-can't find Anteiku." His vision blurred as he fell forward into the blond's embrace.

"H-hey, wait a second. What's Anteiku? Kaneki? Come on man, wake up!" Hide panicked, pulling the unconscious ghoul into his apartment.

There was no response from the boy—only the feeling of his warm breaths against his skin. Gingerly, he ran a worried hand against the cut in his abdomen, noting with relief that the blood was dry. A good sign; he wouldn't have to worry about the white-haired ghoul bleeding out on him. Maneuvering so he held the unconscious youth bridal style, he soon walked over to his couch.

"Ah, you're kinda heavy, you know. But I guess this makes us even. Just don't eat me in your sleep, alright? I'm gonna lay you on the couch and tend to your wound but you've got a lot of explaining to do when you wake up." It had meant to be a joke, but the fear was there.

[Regardless of how I feel… this is a ghoul. Kaneki may have saved my life, but my duty as an investigator…]

The blond shook his head at the thought, slapping himself in the forehead at the notion of betrayal.

[Idiot! You owe him one. Besides, he's out cold. I think I could dangle a severed limb in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch.]

Just as he rose to get the first-aid kit in his bathroom, the phone in his pocket gave a familiar buzz.

[Oh no!]

"Hello?" The boy said with chipper in his voice. It was easy for him to slip on a mask of carefree happiness- it was the mask he used the most often, after all.

"Nagachika-san. It's Hirako. I ran into Eyepatch. I'm coming over now."

The call ended before the blond could even respond. Gaze turning to the ghoul currently on his couch, Hide sighed loudly.

"You are seriously gonna get me in trouble, Kaneki. What am I going to do?" His eyes turned to his own bedroom, an idea flickering in his mind.

"Don't worry dude, I won't let Hirako-san won't know you're here. Though, I imagine he's the reason you're so banged up. Sorry, man. I'll trip him on his way out or something."

And so, the investigator began his plan, picking up the ghoul and carrying him to his messy tangle of bedcovers and sheets which made up his bed. His hold was soft and gentle as he laid him down, pulling the covers up to his chin. Hide had a sudden urge to ruffle the boy's hair and did so accordingly, enjoying the softness of Kaneki's white locks before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

The ghoul stirred for a brief moment, but did not wake. Only a dreamless sleep awaited him, totally unaware of the danger that was encroaching only a doorway's length away.

[Better to be blissfully ignorant, it seemed.]

a/n: eyyy thank u guys so much for the support! i'm sorry this took so long but really, every comment and favorite/follow means a lot and helps me stay motivated. I apologize for leaving this on a bit of a cliffhanger but hopefully the next chap will come sooner this time ^^' as usual, i just wanna hug all of you who have been so kind! i'm seriously at a loss as i didn't expect for this story to get this much traffic. i'm glad we're all hidekane trash, hehe :P

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