Part One

My name is Cara. I have no last name because I have no parents. At least, none prepared to claim me. My mother was violated in war and I couldn't find my father if I tried, not that I had any desire to, because he comes from another world.

I am an outcast. I presume that I take after my mother in my height, facial features and skin colour. I take after my father with my black hair and the ridges that mark my skin. Those ridges also mark me as an outcast, for they are unique in all the nine realms and my father's race, the Jotun, or Frost Giants, are universally hated.

That is not an attempt to garner your sympathy, the Jotun literally have attacked and invaded (or tried to) all other 8 realms over the last few millennia. They are the bogeymen of the universe.

When I came to Asgard, I hoped things would be different from Vanaheim, where I was raised, but they too hate my father's people and thus, they distrust me. I've only met a few Asgardians but each and every one of them noticed my markings and viewed me with at best, suspicion and at worst, outright hostility.

There is one thing I inherited from my father that makes my life bearable, and that is the ability to shapeshift. It's a rare gift, not found at all in the Vanir and less than 1 in a million on Jotunheim, or so I've read.

When I am in animal form, not only does my body change but my mind does also. I can still think, read, do mathematics and understand what is said to me, but my thoughts are simpler, more primitive, making my mind quieter than when I am in my person form. I also have many of the instincts of the animal I take on; they aren't quite as strong as for the animal, and my normal desires aren't gone, just weaker, but life is easier with the brain of an animal.

My preferred form is the jaguar, because they are solitary creatures who, outside of mating season, live and hunt alone. They like solitude, which makes it much easier for me to live with being alone.

Of course, that changed when Loki found me one day. He had never seen a cat like me in Asgard and tracked me for a few miles. I knew he was there but he was good at tracking, far better than any person I'd met before and I couldn't seem to give him the slip. When he tried to block my path though, I thought he meant me harm and we fought.

Finally, injured and tired, he had me pinned with magic and a dagger raised, ready to deliver a killing blow.

I changed back, hoping to unnerve him and it worked.

"Who are you," he demanded, pressing the knife against my throat.

"C- cara," I stuttered, not only from fear, but because by then it had been a while since I'd had a real conversation with someone.

I could see his eyes tracing the ridges on my face.

"And what are you?"

So I told him my story, haltingly and missing chunks out, but enough to make him drop his guard.

He finally got off me and I was surprised to realise that I missed the weight of him.

He sat on his haunches, ready to strike and I was suddenly aware that I was buck naked. I sat up, my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them and tried to look as non threatening as possible. I was raised by a religious order who took in orphans and while they had taught me a lot, fighting wasn't one of the skills they imparted. I had some instinctual skill as an animal but none as a person.

He questioned me for another hour then told me he had to return to the palace. I assumed he was a groom or guard, or some such. He told me that he would be back tomorrow and if I wasn't here, he would assume I was a spy, alert the guard and they would search the whole of Asgard and Vanaheim for me.

I felt I had little choice but to stay in the area and meet with him, unless I wanted to be hunted.

I was waiting by the edge of the forest, in my cat form the next day, and it was my turn to stalk him. I followed him to the place where he had caught me the day before and watched as he took a seat.

"You can come out now," he said, his voice at a normal volume. I wondered if he was bluffing or if he had known I was watching him.

He held the power in our interactions though, so I walked out from my hiding place, still in cat form.

"The way the light ripples over your coat as you move is quite beautiful," he said as I came closer.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't reply. I knew I should change back but I didn't know what to make of him yet. I couldn't become nervous in cat form but I was wary.

"Do you understand me?" Loki asked me.

I lowered my head in a simulation of a nod.

"Can you talk?"

I shook my head and issued a growl.

"Just animal noises?"

I nodded and sat in front of him, our heads were basically on the same level.

"Why don't you change back?"

I blinked.

"You don't trust me?" After a moment he laughed. "Well as much as I love the sound of my own voice, this will be a rather boring conversation."

I wondered what was best, stay in cat form and hope he left, or change back and converse with him.

I decided to change back because I hadn't had a friend since I left the orphanage, so I left him and headed into the bushes, emerging a few minutes later in loose clothes.

Loki smirked as I came back. "I must say, I preferred what you wore yesterday."

I glared and sat down opposite him. Neither of us said anything for a few moments, for my part, it was because I had no idea what to say to him. Finally he pulled a bag off his shoulder.

"I brought you some things." He passed the bag and after a hesitation, I accepted and began to unpack it.

He'd brought me bread, cheese, potted meat, a flask of something, some fruit and a few drawstring bags.

"Sweets," he said as I shook one and heard the contents rattle. "Hard butter candy, fondant shapes and chocolate covered almost paste."

I opened a random bag and found something brown. I sniffed it with suspicion but it smelled divine, so I ate it. I closed my eyes and moaned in appreciation as it dissolved on the warmth of my tongue. I'd never tasted anything like it before, we were well fed at the orphanage, but we had never been given anything like this.

When I opened my eyes, Loki was trying to suppress a smile.

"You like that, I take it?"

"It was lovely." Remembering my manners, I held the bag out towards him.

"Oh no, I could never take chocolate from someone who enjoys it that much. Besides, I can easily get more."

"Thank you." I smiled at him.

We continued to talk and he told me he would return the next day, and the next. Each time he brought me something, usually food, often more sweets.

I continued to stalk him from the moment he entered the forest and it became a game, whereby he would try to spot me before we reached our clearing.

On the sixth day, he brought enough for us to share a meal, a picnic he called it and to accompany the food, he had a flask of chocolate milk.

I liked that even more that the chocolate and almond.

I was slowly coming to trust him.

Our next picnic was a week later and he brought me ice cream, which we ate with berries.

"I have to get back," Loki said with a sigh after we had finished eating." A dark look crossed his face.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No," he sighed. "I have to help my idiot brother with something. Unfortunately, Thor is rather cerebrally challenged."

"Thor!" I repeated.

Loki rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "I suppose you want to meet him."

"He's your brother?"

"Yes."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

"Not a brother-in-arms kind of thing?"

"No!" he snapped, growing angry with me.

I was on the verge of hyperventilating and I began to run.

"Cara? Cara?" He called after me and began chasing me. I changed into my cat form so I could run faster but I tripped on my clothes and fell to the ground. Loki landed on me seconds later.

"What the devil has got in to you?" Loki demanded, and I changed back.

"If your brother is Thor, that means you're Loki, Prince of Asgard!"

"Are you trying to tell me you didn't know that?""

"You never told me your name."

"I didn't?" he frowned. "My apologies. At first I intended to keep my identity from you, in case you were a spy but I didn't realise… Who did you think I was?"

"I assumed you were a guard, then maybe an advisor or something. I didn't know you were a prince."

"And now that you do, what of it?"

"I'm your enemy!"

"My enemy?"

"The Frost Giants!" I practically yelled, so keen was I to get away. "I've heard people talking and Thor has made no secret that he wants to wipe every single one of the Jotun out, single-handedly if possible."

Tears of frustration were leaking from my eyes.

"Hush!" Loki spoke firmly as he grew sombre. "It's true, the Aesir have no love for the Jotun but I swear, I won't let anyone hurt you, Cara, ever."

He brushed a strand of my hair off my forehead and suddenly I was scared for a different reason. He leaned closer."

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I'm about to kiss you."

"Why? I'm nothing but an orphan, and you're a prince."

"And you're beautiful."

He kissed me then, and I let him but when he pulled away, I was crying.

"Cara?"

I kept my eyes closed to hide my humiliation.

"Cara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, my Lord. Please continue." My voice was flat and emotionless.

With a hiss of irritation, Loki got off me.

"My apologies, I was under the impression that you felt the same as I."

I opened my eyes and looked into Loki's cool ones. Had a hurt him?

"I'll leave you in peace." He turned to leave but I couldn't let him go with bad feeling between us.

I ran after him and although I caught up and grabbed his arm, I couldn't stop him. I stopped chasing and hesitated for a moment, then stripped my clothes off, changed form and looped around, blocking Loki's path to the palace. I gave a huge roar, one that actually gave him pause and made him stop.

I changed back, sweeping my hair in front of my shoulders to at least try and retain some modesty.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness, I didn't mean to offend you. Please don't be angry with me."

"If I wanted you fawning over me, I would have told you to call me that," he huffed. "Now explain yourself or I'm leaving."

I stepped closer, twisting my hands both with nerves and embarrassment.

"Your H- I mean, Lo-" I had no idea what to call him so like for the last few weeks, I didn't call him anything. "I don't have much experience, and the only…"

I turned away, my cheeks burning with shame.

"While I worked at the church, I caught a parishioners' eye. He was nice to me, he talked to me the same way the nuns and brothers did, as if I wasn't a freak. I thought he liked me. Then after we… He disappeared. I waited for him in our usual places but he never came, he wasn't at church the next week and when he finally came back, I asked what was going on. Fool that I am, I'd been worried, I thought he might have been sick. He said he only wanted to know what it was like to fuck a Frost Giant and that I must be insane to think anyone would ever want anything more than that from me. He said he stood me up because he was trying to let me down gently."

I jumped when Loki's hands came to rest on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Cara," he said with feeling. "I'm not using you, I have no desire to sleep with a Jotun. I kissed you because I like you."

I didn't dare believe it was true.

"I also don't like this new, deferential air you have. I like the tigress that you are,

"But I'm a jaguar."

Loki chuckled. "It means a strong and fearless woman too." He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. "The man you met wasn't worthy of you," Loki continued. "The reason he stood you up was because he knew his actions were shameful, and he didn't want to face you. When you gave him no choice, he reacted in anger because he didn't want to admit how cruel his actions were, so he blamed you for his wrong." He kissed my shoulder again. "I will never hurt you, Cara."

"Thank you." I looked over my shoulder at him, still embarrassed being nude.

Loki leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips, but the angle was awkward and he didn't press for more. Part of me wanted him to but a larger part was glad that he wasn't taking advantage.

"I know you're uncomfortable, so you change back and I'll return again tomorrow."

"Thank you…" How did I address him?

"Loki."

"Thank you, Loki."

He smiled.

"And good luck with your brother."

"Thank you," he replied with a smirk. "Knowing Thor, I will need it."

I transformed into the jaguar and watched him walk away until he was out of sight.

Things were awkward between us for a few days, with me worried that he wanted to kiss me but also hoping he would, and I'm not sure what Loki was thinking. It soon became clear that he didn't intend to kiss me again and although I was disappointed, I was able to relax.

Our picnics became twice weekly after that, and Loki asked many questions about my life, both growing up on Vanaheim and what I did when he wasn't around; how I liked living as a cat, did I hunt for food, or steal it, things like that. It wasn't ideal, I didn't enjoy living rough, but I had far more freedom to visit new places and towns than when I tried to do so as a person, although I usually transformed into a dog when visiting new towns, which was less threatening than a jaguar. I also explained that when in animal form, I didn't have the same revulsions about some things, such as eating raw meat.

When he asked me what I missed, I told him books, because even as a non threatening dog, no one would lend me a book to read, although I admitted I had stolen a few when I had the opportunity, but I'd returned them when finished.

The next day, he brought me a copy of a book from his personal library. It was a book of Midgardian short stories and once he was gone, I devoured it eagerly but to read, I had to stay in person form and that meant that I felt the elements more than usual. He brought me another book the next day, then a third but by the fifth day, I didn't track Loki into the forest because I could hardly drag myself to our usual meeting place.

He found me curled in a ball, shivering and wearing all the clothes I had, which wasn't much. He determined that I was unwell and conjured a blanket for me as he sat beside me, soothing me. "Can you transform?" he asked me.

I nodded, although I didn't understand why. I was too tried to try to understand though. He collected my meagre possessions up and put them somewhere else, then he picked me up. I'm heavy as a Jaguar, about 200lbs, but he handled me with ease and shot my growled protests down. Eventually I went to sleep and when I awoke, I was sleeping on a bed of furs and was more comfortable than I had been in months.

I was still in cat form though and Loki was standing over me.

"I need you to drink this," Loki said, offering me a bowl with a milky white liquid in it. "It will help cure you," he assured me, so I lapped it up while Loki stroked my flanks.

"Good girl," he told me once the bowl was empty. "Now I know you're unwell, but you must remain as a cat until I tell you otherwise, alright?"

I was having trouble keeping up with the conversation so I didn't reply.

"Cara!" he said, sounding more stern than I had ever heard before. "If you change into your person form and are discovered, you will be arrested or worse. Stay as a jaguar, do you understand?"

I nodded and lowered my head back to the furs. I was so tired.

"Good girl," Loki soothed me. "Sleep now, when you awake, you should feel better."

When I awoke, I found that I'd been moved onto a bed but I was all alone in the room. My instincts kicked in, plus I was hungry and thirsty, so although I ached, I got off the bed and found a water bowl that Loki had left. Iced water, no less. I drank my fill then examined my new digs.

Loki's scent was everywhere, so I knew I was in his rooms, and I padded out to the living area, sniffing everything in my way. I gathered from the scents that Loki spent most of his time on the sofa, the seat with a pile of books beside it, or at some sort of potions desk, with hundreds of bottles of ingredients lined up on shelved behind it.

Still no Loki though, so I headed back to the bedroom but before I got there, I heard voices yelling in the hallway. I raised my hackles and faced the door, ready for trouble.

A blonde stranger barged in, calling, "I just want to see," over his shoulder and only stopping when I growled at him. I'll give him this, for someone so big, he certainly managed to stop quickly.

I continued to growl as I edged closer, hoping to get the man to leave. Remembering Loki's words, I was worried that anyone who got too close might discern my true nature.

Loki ran through the door seconds later and stopped to see what was happening.

"It's all right, Cara," Loki soothed. "It's just my oaf of a brother who acts before he thinks. You're safe here."

He approached me as though I was a wild animal, so I played my part and continued to bare my teeth at Thor as Loki approached. Loki got down on the ground beside me and I nuzzled his arm, although I didn't take my eyes off Thor.

"So you really did bring a jaguar back," Thor said with wonder. "I thought it was another rumour you had started."

Loki glared at his brother and I settled beside Loki, resting my head in his lap. I really was tired and I still felt shivery. Loki soothed me with long strokes of his hand over my coat.

"But why?" Thor asked. "Surely you can't mean to keep it?"

"When I came across her and I saw she was ill, I could hardly leave her alone to die, could I?"

"Why not take her to a veterinarian?"

"Because I thought now would be an excellent time to try out my healing potions on something other than a horse."

"She seems very tame." Thor grinned and approached. "She must have had an owner before."

I raised my head just enough to growl menacingly at him. I did not want him coming any closer. Thor got the message and stayed back.

"Well, she certainly seems to like you," Thor said, sounding slightly peeved when I laid my head back in Loki's lap.

"I think she understands on some level that I'm trying to help her," Loki rationalised my actions. "Animals are exceptionally intuitive."

"Well, when she's healthy, you should bring her to the training grounds, I've always wondered if I could beat a wild animal in combat."

I gave a plaintive whine and Loki soothed me. "I'm not healing her so that you can kill her," Loki snapped. "And if you've nothing constructive to add, bugger off."

"Yes, well, I think I've had enough of the petting zoo for a while, I'll see you at dinner."

Thor headed out and once the door was closed, Loki waved his hand and I heard the lock slide into place.

"I'm sorry about that, he's not exactly house trained yet."

I wanted to laugh but in animal form and with whatever illness I had, it was more of a rasp.

"How are you?"

I summoned my energy and sat up.

"You can change," Loki told me.

I shook my head.

"There are magical wards protecting the room now, no one can enter without my express permission."

I tried to change but discovered that I couldn't. I closed my eyes and focused all my will power on changing but it just wouldn't happen.

"Hush," Loki soothed me, obviously sensing my distress and stroking the top of my head. "I'm sure it's just because you're still unwell and weak, so don't panic. I'll check my books and see what I can find, all right?"

I had never been unwell while in animal form before, so what he said was plausible. I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Let's get you back to bed then I'll find you some food, how does that sound?"

I mewled.

"Come on then."

I headed back to the bedroom and after another drink of water, headed for the furs he'd laid out for me.

"You might as well take the bed," he said. "It's more than big enough and I want to be able to check on you."

His bed was high but I wasn't that weak so I jumped up, turned in a circle and settled down.

When I next awoke it was to the sound of Loki entering, holding a plate of raw steak and with a woman in tow.

"Is this she?"

"No, mother this is another jaguar that I happened to have laying around."

I remember thinking how pretty she was, but Loki's look warned me against being friendly.

"She's on your bed! Loki, that's not very hygienic."

"Cats are exceptionally clean animals, mother, besides, I want her where I can keep an eye on her."

Loki approached with a plate and climbed on the bed but when I saw his mother approaching, I growled in warning.

"Oh dear, I hope I haven't upset her."

"I'm sure she'll be fine, but she is wild and I don't know about you, but I don't exactly feel like socialising when I'm unwell."

"No, of course."

Loki got a strip of meat from the plate and hand fed it to me. It smelled lovely, clearly freshly killed and one of the best cuts. I licked his hand in thanks after the first strip.

He continued to feed me the nibbles and I edged closer, eager for more.

"You've developed a real bond with her." I'd forgotten his mother was still there.

"I dare say she'd be nice to anyone who fed her prime venison steak."

"Just be careful you don't tame her too much, or she won't survive on her own once she's healthy." And what that, she left.

"That's Frigga, my mother," Loki explained as he continued to feed me scraps. "She's lovely but you must be careful around her, her magic is almost as powerful as mine and she more than anyone, save for perhaps Odin, is the most likely to realise that you are more than just a cat."

I nodded and when another slice of meat wasn't forthcoming, I licked his hand.

Loki laughed. "All right, all right, I get the hint."

I wondered why he hadn't simply put the food on the floor for me, it wasn't as if I wasn't used to worse.

He continued feeding me until the plate was empty and when he put the it aside, I licked his face.

Loki laughed. "I take it you liked that?"

I settled my head on his lap and he scratched behind my ears.

"I'll get you another dose of the potion," he said, "Then I'll take a look through my magic books while you get some rest."

I slept a lot those first few days, probably 18 hours a day. Loki spent as much time in his rooms with me as he could, usually reading beside me since conversation was difficult.

On the second night, I was bored and shoved my head in his lap. Loki scratched behind my ears and moved his book so he could still see it. I wriggled closer and nudged the hand that held his book. "You want me to put it down?" he asked.

We had developed a code, blink once for yes, two for no. I blinked twice.

"Then what?"

I nudged the book with my nose this time.

"You want me to read to you?"

One blink. 'yes'.

"Of course." Loki smiled. "Do you want me to catch you up, or start from the beginning?"

I tilted my head to the side; how was I supposed to answer that with a yes or no?

"Start at the beginning?" he tried again with a wry smile.

Two blinks, 'no'.

"Okay, well this is by a Midgardian playwright named Shakespeare. This play is called Macbeth and is about a Scottish king. One of his men…"

He wasn't far through and I was soon caught up, then he proceeded to read the rest aloud to me. He began scratching behind my ears, pausing only to turn the pages, and it wasn't long before I was purring.

I don't think I had ever purred before, because no one had ever petted me until now.

By day three, I was feeling much improved but still rather weak. Loki had been taking me out into the gardens each night to do my business. I don't usually care about such things when I'm in animal form so I wasn't embarased but I have to admit, peeing on the Queen's lawn was a new one to me.

Still, the worst thing was, Loki insisted that I wear a collar when he took me out, in case there was anyone about. He had to give the impression that I was wild and thus, that he was controlling me.

I made sure to throw him lots of dirty looks.

His magic books had revealed that shapeshifting was difficult with low energy levels, such as when unwell or starving, so Loki had advised me not to try again until I was better, he didn't want me wasting energy that I could be using to heal.

By day four though, I really wanted to have an actual conversation with him, but I didn't know how to ask. I was too frightened of my secret being discovered to change into a person without making sure it was safe first.

Loki was working at his potions desk, brewing up another batch of the stuff he'd been feeding me. He explained that I needed to take it for 5 days, just to be safe.

I finally hit upon an idea and I went into the bedroom. It took some manoeuvring but I managed to open his wardrobe door and tug something from a hanger. I brought it into the other room and placed my front paws on the desk. Loki noticed and took the shirt from my mouth.

"You want me to wear this?" he asked.

I blinked twice.

"Then what?"

I tried to put my head in it but without opposable thumbs, it was impossible, so I returned to the bedroom and got another item, this time it was a pair of his leather pants, and it brought a few other items down with it. I padded back through and Loki was waiting. He took the pants from my mouth.

"Clothes," he mused. "You want to get dressed?"

One blink, 'yes'.

"You want to change back?"

One blink.

He smiled. "Sorry, I was a little slow there."

He sent a pulse of green energy to the doors and I heard the lock click into place.

"Go ahead," he reassured me.

I turned back into a person but remained on all fours. "I don't suppose I could borrow that shirt, could I?"

He smiled and turned away, tossing the shirt over his shoulder and keeping his back turned while I pulled it on.

"Are you decent?" he asked

"Absolutely not, but I am dressed. Sort of." The shirt came to mid-thigh, not exactly modest but it did the job.

It was strange, but without all the worries and neurosis that people have, I had grown very close to him while as a cat, feeling free to be as affectionate as I wanted. Well, maybe I didn't feel free to do everything I wanted, but I'd licked him more times than I could count.

As he turned around, I stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

Loki's arms came around me and he held me tightly.

"My pleasure."

When I pulled away I suddenly felt very self-conscious and as Loki leaned in close, I understood why.

He pressed his lips to mine, very tentatively, testing the waters and when I didn't pull away, he repeated the action, then again, then finally he deepened the kiss.

I responded, but Loki pulled away far too soon for my liking.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said with a warm smile.

I returned his smile, although mine was rather more tentative.

"Does it feel good to be a person again?"

I nodded. "But I have to admit, I feel less insecure when I'm a cat."

Loki smirked. "You have nothing to be insecure about".

"Your Mum was nice."

"She is. I wish I could introduce you to her, but-"

"It's too much of a risk."

"Exactly." He seemed grateful that I understood. "Now, how about I have dinner in my room tonight?"

"So I get to eat cooked food for a change?"

"Yes," he smirked. "Would you like anything specific?"

"You always pick nice things." Besides, my idea of a nice meal was a simple stew.