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Unconditional

-x-

All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

In a moment of emotion she could never have imagined, Renee gave one final push, clinging tightly to Jon's hand, and their daughter was born. The tense few moments of silence soon gave way to the first few squeals of their baby girl, now crying at the top of her lungs and as though it was a domino effect, Renee burst into tears, completely overwhelmed that they could finally hold the tiny person they'd created together in their arms.

Jon's hand was still holding hers tightly and it was only when she felt him shaking that she looked up at him.

He was biting down hard on his lip as though he was completely caught off-guard by his own emotions and she felt a surge of love for him as tears slipped down his cheeks. Seeing him cry only made her cry harder, this tender moment one she'd cherish until the day she died. She could tell he hadn't expected this to evoke such emotion as he wiped his eyes with a surprised exhale of breath.

Renee had been nervously anticipating this moment since she took that pregnancy test just under nine months ago. She knew Jon wasn't sure about children, with their grubby little hands and penchant for brutal honesty. He could never picture himself as a father after his own childhood. As a result, she watched in anxious silence as he cut the cord with shaking hands and the doctors whisked their daughter off to check her over.

Renee instinctively reached for his hand again, needing that comfort right now. He took it, lacing their fingers together and brought their joined hands to his lips. He didn't seem to have relaxed much, still as on-edge as he'd been since her waters had broken. She gave him a tired smile and he tried his best to return it. She could tell he was freaking out a little at the tiny person she'd just given birth to. The tiny baby they created, who was about to turn their lives upside down. It was an intensely emotional moment and she could see that he hadn't anticipated it hitting him this hard.

Renee recalled the way he'd ask a million questions after every antenatal class and the sulk he'd gone into when they were repeatedly told about the lack of sex they'd be having with a newborn baby around. She'd reassured him as much as she could, no one was ever really prepared for their first child and it was okay for him to feel so out of his depth.

The look on his face right now, one of overwhelmed bewilderment, reminded her of a night just a few weeks ago.

- x -

They were curled up together on the couch, her hands resting on her stomach when she felt their baby kicking. Her sudden flinch startled Jon, who immediately panicked, thinking she was going into labour.

"Calm down" she whispered with a smile. "She's practicing your drop kick...feel" she took his hand and placed it palm down on the same section of her swollen tummy, her own hand resting atop his. They sat in silence, holding their breath until he felt their baby kick and a big smile spread across his face.

"Wow she's strong" he laughed.

"Just like her daddy" she craned her neck to look at him properly.

That's when she saw that there was something playing on his mind.

"What's wrong?" she asked, settling herself back against his chest.

It took a few moments before he spoke his mind. "You're not going to neglect me are you? When the baby gets here and your motherly instincts take over...?"

Renee's heart melted at the look on his face.

"Jon..." she turned around to cup his face. "I should be worried, not you. She'll be daddy's favourite girl and I'll be second best to your little princess"

"That's never going to happen" he promised, leaning down to kiss her.

"I know you're nervous, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you're going to love her" Renee whispered, placing their joined hands over her tummy once more.

"I think so too" he smiled. He appeared deep in thought for a moment until he spoke again.

"You know, I read about a study..."

Renee snuggled into him, intrigued. She loved all the little random bits of knowledge he often came out with.

"A group of husbands and wives were given a scenario. If they were in a hot air balloon with their partner and their children and this hot air balloon is losing altitude, they have to choose. They can sacrifice their partner, or their children to save the other" he explained.

"I'd sacrifice myself" she said immediately.

"Not an option darlin', it's a fictitious scenario that makes you choose between your other half and your kids .And you know what the results were?"

"No...what were they?" she asked, intrigued.

"The majority of women chose to save their children. But the majority of men chose to save their wife or girlfriend" he said.

"Wow" she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I guess it's a mother's instinct to protect her babies"

She saw the look on Jon's face and pinched his chubby cheeks.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to be throwing you out of any hot air balloons. You're my baby too" she planted a soft kiss to his lips. "I won't lie and pretend everything's going to be the same. Our lives are about to change forever" she whispered. "We might not have so much alone time" she admitted. "But I'll always make time for you and show you how much I appreciate you. I promise not to neglect you" she kissed his nose.

"Good" he smiled.

"Plus, we'll be seeing a lot more of each other when we're conscious for all 24 hours of the day because we can't sleep through the crying"

"Oh god" he chuckled.

- x -

As she lay in the hospital bed, sore and exhausted beyond comprehension, she realised she was about to see the moment she dreamed of; the moment the love of her life held their baby girl for the first time.

She watched, feeling almost as though she was in a dream, as the nurse carried the tiny newborn towards them wrapped in a little pink blanket.

"Does dad want to hold her?" the nurse asked.

Jon looked at Renee like a rabbit in headlights and she nodded with a gentle smile.

Jon turned to the nurse and stood awkwardly with his arms by his sides, trying not to look so terrified at the prospect of holding her before Renee. But Renee wanted Jon to be the first to hold their daughter. She wanted him to bond with her because deep down, she knew how scared he was. She was worried he wasn't ready for this and the idea of parenthood driving a wedge between them was her biggest fear.

Renee watched on as the nurse showed him how to make a cradle with his arms and use his hand to support her head. Then she handed the baby to him, settling the tiny creature in his arms and Renee wished she could have this moment on camera. It was perfect...they were perfect...

Jon looked down at his daughter, watching the strange little faces she pulled.

And Renee could pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with their little girl.

The baby opened her eyes and looked up at him for the first time, pursing her little lips and taking hold of the finger he offered her. The sight of his big finger in her tiny hand as he counted her fingers and toes...it was the happiest moment of Renee's life; she had no doubt of that.

It was almost as if it all sunk in for him just then, as though until that very moment none of this was real. And it hit him like a train. Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, he shed another quiet tear, using the back of his thumb to stroke the soft skin of her delicate hand.

"She's already pulling the same faces as me..." he whispered, adoration in his tone.

Renee hadn't seen her properly yet, but she couldn't miss the shock of blonde-auburn hair on her head.

"She looks a lot like you" the nurse smiled at Jon.

"If she's even half as beautiful as her mom, I'm going to need to buy a gun when she hits her teens" he chuckled, looking up at Renee with more tears in his eyes.

The nurses helped Renee sit up, propping her up with pillows andRenee had never seen Jon so gentle as the way he carefully placed their baby daughter on her chest.

"Oh my God Jon...she's gorgeous" Renee whispered, feeling a few tears dripping down her own cheeks. "She looks just like you..."

He wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve, brushing her hair back and kissing her forehead.

"I'm so proud of you Nae, I love you so much" he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "You just gave me the most amazing gift..."

She cried harder at that, overwhelmed by her new family. That's what they were now, a family. Jon looked so happy, happier than she could ever have hoped he'd be. The second he'd laid eyes on the little girl, he seemed to forget all his fears and concerns.

"Do you have a name for her yet?" their nurse asked.

Renee looked at Jon and smiled.

"Gabriella Georgia Good" he told her, smiling down at the little girl.

"That's a beautiful name"

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he replied, looking up at Renee with a love even deeper than before.

Renee felt her eyes dropping closed even as she fought to keep them open. She didn't want to go to sleep, she didn't want to take her eyes off either of them for even a second but she was just exhausted.

"Why don't we let mom get some sleep huh? She's been through quite an ordeal just now..." the nurse suggested, taking Gabriella from Renee.

As though she sensed the separation from her parents, the baby began to cry.

"Oh...I think she's attached to mommy and daddy already" the nurse smiled. "How about we let mommy get some rest and I'll show daddy some nursing techniques huh?" she spoke to the little girl. "Does that sound good?"

Jon smiled when she stopped crying, as though she understood.

"Go to sleep darlin', we'll be here. I won't let her out of my sight I promise" he stroked Renee's hair and pressed a kiss to her head.

"Okay" she mumbled sleepily. "I love you"

"I love you so so much" he told her.

- x -

Jon sat in a chair at the other end of the room as the nurses kept a close eye on Renee. He'd removed his shirt, something the hospital staff had suggested in order to help him bond with his baby girl.

"Skin to skin contact is really important, and she'll get that from her mom when she's feeding. But it's always good for her to get that from her dad too so wrapping her up against your chest like this is going to be a great way for her to learn to recognise her parents and something you can use to comfort her" the nurse explained.

She passed his baby girl to him and he cradled her to the bare skin of his chest, sharing his warmth with her as the nurse wrapped a soft blanket around the both of them.

"When your wife wakes up we can see if baby will have her first feed"

Jon didn't correct her use of the word 'wife'. He was far too overwhelmed with the day's events. He had the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on staring up at him, the love he felt for someone he'd only just met catching him completely unawares. And looking over at Renee, the woman who was now the mother of his child...it was incredible. He'd never be able to describe this feeling.

In fact, he was left wondering why he hadn't pulled his head out of his ass and proposed yet. Sure, they didn't need a piece of paper to affirm their relationship, but he'd known he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her for a very long time now...

"Your big biceps make a good pillow" Renee smiled when she awoke an hour or so later. Jon looked so adorable holding a baby, she wanted to take a photo and frame it.

"I think she needs some time with her mom" he said, standing up and stretching his stiff muscles.

- x -

While the nurses helped Renee to breastfeed for the first time, Jon stepped outside to call his brother. Jon had sent him a frantic text telling him that Renee had gone into labour and that was hours ago.

"What's up man?" Joe asked, eagerly awaiting the news. "Has the new arrival made an appearance yet?"

"Yeah" Jon said, unable to keep the smile off his face. "She was born at one forty eight this afternoon"

"Is she adorable?" Joe replied, warmth in his tone.

"She's fucking beautiful Joe..."

Jon couldn't even believe he was getting choked up again, on the phone to his best friend nonetheless.

He took a deep breath.

"I bet. I can't wait to come meet her. Congratulations, I'm so happy for you guys. How's Renee?" Joe asked.

"Thanks man, it's still surreal right now. Renee's doing good, she's feeding the little one at the moment"

"Glad to hear it. I'll pop in some time this evening with some gifts from the guys at work"

"Can I ask a big favour?" Jon asked.

"Shoot"

"Can you stop by my apartment? In the cabinet where the whisky is, at the back, there's a box. I need you to bring me that box"

"No problem man. Spare key still under the plant pot?" Joe asked.

"Yeah it is"

"Cool. I'll see you in a few hours armed with a thousand tiny items for your baby girl. Try not to cry any more until I get there, I want to document this" Joe teased.

"Fuck you" Jon laughed.

As they hung up, he was quietly relieved that Joe didn't ask any questions about this mysterious box. This was a big moment for him and he didn't want to second guess himself.

Returning to the room, he found Renee with concentration on her face as she tried to get the newborn to latch on to feed.

"It's a frustrating process" one of the nurses commented as he watched on. "Mom will need a lot of support from you in the first few weeks. Baby won't always be easy to feed and it can be quite upsetting when she's refusing to take any milk"

Jon nodded, knowing the next few weeks were going to be tough. But he was ready to give his all to protect his new little family and he wanted to help out as much as he could.

"I'll show you some bottle feeding in a while and then we'll bath the little one"

Jon took a deep breath, feeling like he was back at school and should be taking notes. This parenthood stuff was hard.

Renee's parents arrived shortly after he had a go at feeding her. Renee's mom immediately took him in an enormous embrace, tears in her eyes.

"I'm so proud of you both...you know you're like a son to me Jon" she kissed his head. "Thank you for my beautiful granddaughter"

He had to swallow the lump in his throat to respond, embarrassed at how easy his emotions got the better of him today. He'd cried more times in the last few hours than he had in all of his adult life. It was crazy.

- x -

Renee was fast asleep when Joe and his wife Lina arrived. Jon met them in the lobby, tired but still buzzing from the day's events.

"Congratulations Jon!" Lina wrapped him up in a big hug. Jon returned the hug, touched at how excited they were for him.

"Who's the daddy?" Joe smirked, holding out his arms when Lina finally released his friend.

"I'm the daddy" Jon laughed, hugging Joe tightly.

"Don't let this one see her..." Joe gestured to his wife. "...she'll want another baby and I've already said no"

Jon laughed. "Do you guys want to see her?" he asked, suddenly overcome with excitement at the prospect of showing off his new baby daughter.

"Of course we fuckin' do" Joe laughed. "You two go ahead and I'll bring the gifts through"

Jon showed Lina through to the room where Renee was still soundly sleeping.

"Poor girl must be exhausted" Lina commented.

"She is, she was in labour for hours..." he looked over at her, admiring the way she'd fallen asleep with a hand on the crib beside her bed.

Lina walked over to peer into the crib and had to cover her mouth to stop the noise that tried to escape.

"Jon...she's absolutely gorgeous" she whispered, admiring the rosebud lips and pink tinged cheeks of the infant as she wriggled around in her sleep.

"I still can't believe she's mine..." he said, reaching in to stroke her little arm now he was braver with her. He still thought even the tiniest touch might break her, she looked so fragile, but he was slowly overcoming that fear.

"She has your hair" Lina laughed quietly, the fluffy tufts of hair on the little girl's head very reminiscent of Jon's own.

"Blue eyes too..." he fought a grin.

Lina put a hand on his forearm. "It's surreal isn't it? Seeing her here in front of you"

He nodded. "I fell in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her"

"How much does she weigh?"

"Five pounds and eight ounces" he told her, smiling down at his little girl.

"Wow, no wonder she's so small..."

"How big was Jo?" he asked.

"Nearly eight pounds" she laughed.

"Wow"

"Yeah, Renee should be thankful she's only a little one" Lina smiled. "How was her labour?"

"I think it went smoothly. It's all a blur now but it was a long one. I think she was calmer than I was through most of it" he admitted.

"Joe was the same, and when he went down the...'business end' to see her head...I thought he was going to pass out"

"That's why I stayed put" he chuckled.

"Joe come see her, she's a stunner" Lina called to her husband when he'd deposited bags of gifts all along the far wall of the room along with several big bunches of flowers and balloons.

Joe passed the box to Jon behind his back and gave him a wink. Jon tucked it into his pocket, trying to keep up his poker face.

"Wow" Joe slapped Jon on the back. "She's a looker huh?"

"She gets that from her mom" he replied, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Congratulations man, I'm really happy for you both. She'll have you wrapped around her little finger before you know it"

"She already does" he whispered, watching her wiggling her little toes.

"You guys picked a name?"

"Gabriella...we were thinking we could shorten it to Gabi or Ella that way" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's adorable" Lina cooed.

Jon helped Joe sift through some of the bags, pulling out packs of diapers and an enormous number of sleep suits. They were all too big right now with her being so tiny, but he figured she'd grow into them.

"She's got more clothes than you already" Joe laughed.

"That's actually true" Jon chuckled.

- x -

Eventually, Joe and Lina left to find somewhere to eat dinner, promising to bring some treats back for Jon and Renee. Thanking the gods that it was a big bed, Jon curled up behind Renee and tried to get a short nap in before they were disturbed again. As if on instinct, her head lolled onto his chest and she let out a contented sigh as his arms encircled her shoulders, treating her with care knowing she'd be sore and in pain for a while.

He awoke to Renee shifting in his arms.

"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you" she apologised.

He offered her a soft smile and leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. He looked over to see Gabriella soundly sleeping, making occasional little noises and movements that reassured them she was okay.

"Can you help me up? I want to stretch my legs a little" Renee asked.

Jon gingerly helped her into a sitting position as she swung her legs over the edge. Standing on shaky legs, he held her tightly to make sure she didn't fall.

"I look like shit" she laughed, catching her reflection in the mirror.

"You look beautiful to me" he told her.

She smiled lovingly at him, taking a slow walk over to look at the gifts Joe had collected for them.

Now or never, he thought as he looked at the clock on the wall. Joe and Lina would be back soon.

"Nae?" he asked, getting her attention. "How are you feeling?" he checked.

"Sore...but I'm okay" she reassured him.

"I know this might not be the way you always pictured it, but I can't imagine a happier day of my life so I figure you can overlook the fact we're not in some fancy restaurant and we both look like we haven't slept in weeks. I'm sorry I made you wait so long for this..."

Renee had to steady herself with a hand on the wall as he sunk down to one knee. She was crying before he even said anything.

"I've never met anyone like you. I love you with all of my heart and today you gave me the greatest gift I could ever have wished for. I promise to do everything I can to protect and care for you both. You make me happier than I've ever been and I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?" he asked, pulling the little box out of his pocket and opening it up to reveal a vintage rose gold engagement ring, the band studded with small diamonds and a big princess cut diamond in the centre.

She nodded, too overwhelmed for words as he slipped the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit.

"I love you so much" she choked out when she gained the ability to form sentences again. "Of course I'll marry you..."

"I should have done this a long time ago" he held her to his chest. "I've had the ring for a while; I was just waiting on the right moment. Turns out, any moment is the right moment as long as I'm with you"

Renee held out her hand, admiring the gorgeous ring.

"It's beautiful Jon..."

"I liked it...I was hoping you would too"

"I love it. And I love you. Our little girl couldn't wish for a better dad" she stroked his face.

"I just want her to grow up knowing her dad is always there for her, I know what it's like not having that..." he rubbed the back of his neck.

"She'll always know how much we love her, because we'll tell her every day. I can already tell you're going to dote on her"

"I want to give her everything...everything I never had and everything she could ever want"

"It's taken a long time to get here, but I can say I have everything I ever wanted right here in this room with me" Renee whispered.

"Me too" Jon smiled, realising that for the first time in his life, he really had it all.

- x -

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