Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi because I'm too busy squealing at their cuteness.

This was so stupid.

Ritsu sighed in irritation as his attention was turned from his window-watching to the person sitting on the other side of the café table. The other man had a vague smirk on his face, looking far too pleased with himself for getting Ritsu out in public with him on a…"date". No matter how much Ritsu denied the latter, Takano still believed that they were on truly on a real date, one that had been "many months in the making", whatever that crap he spouted was. Yet here they were in some small café tucked into the corner of suburbia Tokyo with as many people as Ritsu could count on one hand with them. Really, could Takano have picked either the best—or worst? Ritsu still didn't like to think of that option—place for their planned outing.

Because it was not a date! It was NOT!

Out of all the ten minutes they'd been there, they still haven't said more than two words to each other, and that was only when Takano asked Ritsu what he wanted to order. Besides that, they—and the café—were shrouded in silence. They really picked the worst time to ever come here; every single movement that Ritsu made could be heard so clearly within the quiet confines of the place, and he really didn't want anyone to pay any more attention to him and Takano than they had to. Granted, they were two males that were sharing a table and dressed in clothing that was too casual for a business meeting—and who would have a business meeting in this cute little café?—so Ritsu supposed that whatever the other occupants of the café were assuming of the two of them was amusing and entertaining. Pfft, as if.

The waitress came by their table and placed two cupcakes and coffees down on either side, smiling down at them slyly. "Anything else I can get for you two?" There was just the subtlest hint in her voice that made Ritsu look down to his lip and blush.

He knew what she was insinuating, and apparently Takano did as well, for he replied with a smile of his own, "No, not at the moment. Though a little privacy would be much—"

"Takano-san!" Ritsu snapped, glaring at the other man as he interrupted him. He turned to the still-grinning waitress with a forced smile. "No, we're fine. Thank you."

She left their table with an "Alright" and a wink aimed towards Ritsu, which only made him flush again and stare at the wood in front of him. What kind of wood did they use here? Balsa? Oak? It's rather interesting how they made it—

"Onodera," Takano spoke up, and Ritsu looked up to see Takano picking up his cupcake and—was he breaking off the bottom?

"What?" Ritsu muttered, tracing random patterns on the wood of the table.

Takano put the cupcake bottom onto the top of the frosting and squished it, making the sweet cream cheese frosting ooze out the sides. "Pay attention. I'm about to teach you the right way of eating a cupcake."

"Haven't you just done it already?" Honestly, could this person be any more of a child? Ritsu had no idea, so he only rolled his eyes and bit into his cupcake, frosting painting his upper lip.

"Onodera, you're eating it wrong!" Takano scolded, like Ritsu was some kind of child that needed to be disciplined. This kind of behavior only made Ritsu dislike this man even more, no matter how much Takano said he loved him. Not in a million years, Takano-san.

"Tch," Ritsu responded. "What does it matter? It's all going to the same place anyways. It's not as if I'll be cursed by some…I don't know," He waved idly, "by some cupcake-eating gods or something."

Takano only stared at him, unimpressed.

"Oh god." Ritsu nearly snickered. "Don't tell me those are real. I was just joking."

"Oh they're real. They're as real as you and I are," Takano said seriously, nodding importantly.

Ritsu wanted to laugh until he ran out of breath, but seeing Takano's face look as if he were going to slap Ritsu silly made him quiet down. He still cracked up inside his head, though. This was too funny, really. As if Ritsu would even believe him.

"Fine, Takano-san. If they're as real as you say, then I'll follow His Majesty's orders," Ritsu shook his hands for emphasis, still grinning disbelievingly. "What should I do first?"

And so Takano spent the new few minutes enlightening Ritsu with the proper way to eat a chocolate cupcake.

"No, no! You make it into a sandwich, like mine. See?" Takano gestured towards his own uneaten one. "My god, these instructions are so simple even a brainless idiot could understand them."

"Well I'm sorry I'm such an idiot," Ritsu retorted right back, wondering why he even agreed to join Takano on this thing in the first place. He was seriously regretting it now. There were much better things to do with his time, like not-clean his apartment or…work. Wow, he needed a life.

"Fine, fine." Ritsu rearranged the cakey bottom of his cupcake more neatly, making it look less like a mess of sugar and frosting and more like a sandwich. "Is that better? Does that please you?"

Takano scanned Ritsu's sandwich for a long time before nodding silently, sitting back in his chair. "It's not the best, but it'll do."

"Alright, finally," Ritsu sighed, biting into the sandwich. He had to admit though. Eating a cupcake this way was a lot easier than how he usually ate it. Not that he would ever take Takano's advice for something so stupid. It was more for convenience than anything else. After chewing and swallowing that bite of his too-sweet cupcake, he looked up to see Takano once again staring at him, but his eyes looking much more intense than before.

"What?"

Instead of answering, Takano leaned over the table, grabbed Ritsu's chin, and kissed him. Well, isn't that a surprise? And in public, too. Ritsu flailed wildly, his cheeks beet red as Takano's tongue came out to lick at some of the leftover frosting from the top of Ritsu's lip. Feeling his heart pound against his chest, Ritsu's eyes were just starting to flutter closed—not because he was enjoying it or whatever—

Takano pulled away just as quickly with a pleased smile on his face, licking at the corner of his thumb. Wow, that gesture is surprisingly arousing, Ritsu's hazy subconscious supplied him with before he jerked back in his seat, an embarrassed hue rising to his cheeks again. With a lazy glance over at Ritsu, Takano smirked, humming out a "Tasty" and licking his lips.

Curse this body of mine! Ritsu swore to himself as his pants tightened just the bit at how unbelievably sexy Takano was being right now. Wait no, he wasn't! He was just…he was just—

Ritsu flushed even deeper as he fidgeted in his chair and stared at the ground, not wanting Takano see that his eyes had darkened with arousal. God-dammit, why did he always get this reaction only from this infuriating tyrant that pissed him off to no end? Takano, on the other hand, observed Ritsu for a few moments before standing in his seat and seizing Ritsu's wrist, pulling him up.

"W-wait, Takano-san! What are you doing?" Ritsu demanded, trying to pull his arm away to no avail.

Takano didn't answer, only dropping some yen on the table and literally dragging Ritsu out the door. "Takano-san! What about the coffee? Takano-san!"

This isn't love, this isn't love, this most definitely IS NOT LOVE!

A/N: Eh, so I was going to post a super-long one-shot with a real storyline than this depthless fluff, but oh well. Hope you enjoyed reading!

-ChemicallyEnhanced