Chapter Eight

The Game of You

Ain't he perfect?

Lambo, fifteen and growing, all curly hair and soft green eyes, sobs as he presses his hands into his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears but failing terribly. He sniffles, he hiccups, he sobs freely and at one point, he gives up on being quiet because TSUNA WAS DEAD.

He was dead, it was all the fault of the Arcobaleno and he would never, never, ever forgive them.

He gave up on being quiet, because it hurt. It hurt really, really, really bad and he wanted it to stop, wanted the pain to ease up like it did when he jumped into his bazooka and let his older, stronger, smarter, better self take care of things.

if he had swapped with his older self in the final battle, would Tsuna be alive?

would he be alright?

maybe.

maybe it was your fault.

He sucks in a shaky breath, tries to get some air into his lungs that were run raw from coughing and crying.

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'Ah, Lambo, crying doesn't make you weak.' Tsuna's beautiful face becomes his focus, and he stares up at him, trying to forget Reborn's words of 'weak crybaby'.

Tsuna pulls him into a hug and murmurs, soft and low-

'Cry, because that's the only way the world will know that you are sad. Cry, and let your tears water the ground, and hope they bring forth flowers of the good times. It's okay to cry.'

It doesn't make much sense to him but he doesn't care as he blubbers-

Tears are okay.

And Tsuna begns to sing him that gentle lullaby that he so loved.

He would never let go.

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Did it make him a bad person for regretting it? Regretting saving the Arcobaleno? Did it make him a bad person for wanting to just go back in time and prevent any of this because maybe they deserved it. Maybe the got what was coming to them and that was why they were cursed. wouldn't that mean tsuna too what did he do-

Saving the Arcobaleno was supposed to save Tsuna too. Because that was who he wanted to save, that was who the guardians wanted to save because he was their Sky. The only one who bothered to care, the only one who looked after them and bothered to make sure they ate or slept or laughed or went to school. The only one who wanted them, accepted them for who they were-

and you let him go.

Lambo hiccups, and vaguely he can hear Byakuran just falling to peices somewhere in the muted background that becomes his head's personal melody.

"No! NO NO NO! Don't move me from him! I was the only one he had! I'm the only one he has! He needs me, let me go Kikyo you fucking bastard I need to stay by him!" The white haired boss screams and thrashes as they pull him away and he coughs and cries, but then his eyes cast over in shadow ad he falls limp, tears and snot just running down his face without stopping and his sags in defeat. He trembles and Lambo watches every story, every tear fall down his cheeks.

"Then whose going to stay by...him. Whose gonna...help him..now? Tell him that...he is loved...hic...love him?"

No one answers.

He's staring eye to eye with Reborn, who is leaving. He's leaving. He's getting up and leaving Tsuna alone again...Rebborn doesn't even flich when he confronts him he just smirks and calls him crybaby and Lambo is sick of it. He-

"I wish Tsuna had left you to die! I wish you were dead and that he was still alive! Why are you so important?!"

Lambo can barely see through tears but Reborn sayd he's going back to Japan, he's acting like he's just fine and he doesn't want to hear the swishing giggle of the liqor in Reborn's hand. He doesn't wat to see the hidden hurt in Reborn's eyes. He's just spitting fire, angry and sad and mad and he doesn't know what to feel, what to say, how to think.

tsuna was dead.

how did the world even know how to keep spinning?

He inhales sharply -lavender, the room smells of lavender- and spits-

"It was your fault!"

And he watches Reborn turn away, silent and stepping on petunias. Then he leaves.

Not of his own intention, of course.

Five year old Lambo stares as the lower the lid of the coffin onto the still, lily white body inside. He frowns at the sad faces, at the lack of color, at-was that REBORN? He frowns and sucks on his lolipop. Wrapping his hand in Kyoko's, he looked up at him and grinned as he poked her cheek.

"Gyaha! Lambo found Kyoko!"

Kyoko gives him a weak smile, and her eyes flood with tears and he frowns, his bushy afro becoming a home for one of his sticky fingers as he pulls out a small toy and pushes it in her hands.

"Ah, Kyoko, let's play, Tsuna will wake up soon like he did last time so let's play a game!" Kyoko's smile vanishes and she trembles.

A thudding alerts him to the coffin again.

They are putting nails in. He frowns. Don't they know that Tsuna can't wake up if they do that? Why are they...

He frowns and tugs on Kyoko's sleeve.

"Hey, Kyoko, why are they covering up Tsuna? He can't wake up if they do that!"

The eerie quiet gets heavier.

He panics.

"Kyoko, don't you want Tsuna to play with us too? You have to stop them!"

Kyoko bursts into tears, and Takeshi comes and plucks him away. He smiles, but it wasn't the bright one he usually got. It was...sad.

"Hey, Lambo, there's something you need to do for me, okay?"

The past hurts more than the present, because you could never truly get it back. It hurt because he had Tsuna, who was smiling at Reborn and he-

He scoops Tsuna into a hug, careful not to squeeze too tight on those delicate bird bones and he can't say a word, not a word oh gosh just tell him-

tell him what? what will it change? what will it do, because in the end it wasn't the Arcobaleno the made Tsuna do it he chose and you know he would do it again-

His sniffles, and can't say a word. He can't be mad. He's just tired, and sad, and in pain. He can't do anything. He just brushes his hands past the place he knew where the pacifier was. Tsuna gasps-intakes air, something the alive did-

It hurts

He didn't want to use the bazooka anymore.

Not anymore, because he didn't think he'd have to keep such a big secret.

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"Normally, I would never do this but," Takeshi trails off and smiles bitterly. "If there's one thing he has taught me, it's to be selfish."

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He thought don't tell anyone about the future meant not saying stuff like 'Hibari gets a haircut' or 'Squid-head doesn't get any smarter' but no.

It was so, so much bigger than that. So much worse.

Tsuna-nii was...

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"You can't tell anyone about this, okay? You have to keep a secret." Takeshi isn't smiling anymore.

"I'm sorry, Lambo."

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He feels tears well up in his eyes. What was he gonna do now?

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As one, they feel the tug behind the bellybutton.

the ending of a fairy tale never was a happy one.

don't you know, Peter had to grow up.

They begin to inhale the pink smoke into their lungs and they fall back through the crack in time to where they belong.

it is time to go home.

Young Lambo lands in his Tsuna's arms and sobs freely into s chest, buring his face in.

He cries, he chokes, he coughs, he sniffles.

How else can he tell the world he's sad?

And as Tsuna just hold him close, his voice cracking a bit, he begins to sing the soft lullaby that rocks him to a shaky sleep.

i'll love you for ever,

i'll love you for always,

as long as i'm living,

my baby you'll be...

A/N: Ah, this was hard to write. I was kind of crying while I was writing Byakuran. I mean, I wrote that in as a sort of teaser for the ones who were hoping to see Byakuran, but man...I is needing hug. Also, I'm not just gonna make the Arcobaleno the bad guys in this. The others are going to do some things that aren't gonna be great, but are going to make for some good development and personality. Prepare to get uncomfortable, folks.

Funny story, actually. So, recently a friend of mine got into KHR! And read my fic. As she was reading my fic, she got so sad she threw a loaf of bread at my head while screaming about how I must lack a soul.

Okay.

So credits!

That one scene where Lambo was asking about the coffin and Tsuna? I got that from Fullmetal Alchemist.

The lullaby ain't mine either, but I forget where it's from.

Also, my timeline is really screwy, but I'll explain it soon.

I am just so sleepy right now.

And there are two flowers this chap, pm me and tell me what they are! Or just pm me! I really love seeing that little number next to the box...

I'm sorry to my Spanish reviewers for not replying, but my translator isn't working, and I can't read spanish very well. So, I've decide to learn the language so that I can understand! Please don't give up on me! I love just see the fact that people took the time to read this, so...

THANKS TO EVERYONE!

I am so tired.

Goodnight and sorry for messing up Lambo,

Ciao~

Pink.