Title: (No) Pun Intended

Summary: Izuki is aghast. He has finally found his match but he is far from fired up. This man doesn't even acknowledge the puns! His clever word-play just flies over his head and Izuki won't let that go on any longer. Thus begins his puny quest towards acknowledgment. Eventual IzuKasa. NOT crack.

This is all the fault of S3, E8. ONE BLOODY LINE. And this happens.

I might make use of anime/manga's 'nobody has graduated in many years because plot' a bit. Hopefully not much.

The puns will be in english, sorry for the lameness too.

Do enjoy.

This is a story about the man who makes the worst of puns…

And the man that can't seem to get any.

Certainly a puntastic pair.

.

It had all started with a simple phrase.

"Puns? When did you make any?"

Izuki Shun had been not only befuddled but absolutely devastated. His whole life career reduced to nothing!

This man did not understand any of his puns! His crime cannot go unpunished!

Hyuuga whacked him over the head, "Now you're just not making any sense. I'd tell you to shut up, but I was the one to ask about you. Are you seriously telling me that's why you have been off your game?"

Izuki mock-pouted. "It's a serious issue, here cap." The shorter teen replied as he absently jotted down his most recent pun. "I'm starting to worry he has an illness. He surely must have, not to even hear my genius words." He commented flippantly.

"Get back to work, idiot." Hyuuga deadpanned with a last whack before continuing on with the morning practice. Izuki rubbed his head and couldn't help but roll his eyes in amusement. Really, Hyuuga was such a mother-hen sometimes.

…He needed to work a pun with that one.

Mitobe watched with some worry as his eccentric teammate headed out with a clear —if strange — goal in mind. The silent yet expressive second-year student had been privy to the "plan" devised by Shun to "cure" a certain someone of an "illness". With puns.

Apparently the Point Guard's genial strategy involved assaulting the other with puns until he recognized anything. At this point Izuki didn't care he got an answer a la Hyuuga, but anything other than a blank look and an arched eyebrow would be welcome. Also, don't forget his seemingly random shout of: "He was also all serious all the time! Honestly, isn't he a high-school student like us!?"

How had he phrased it? Something like, "I'm going to punnel the fun into him!"

Scratch a little worried. With a character like his, Mitobe wouldn't be surprised if Izuki next returned to them in a bag.

"Yo!" The Kaijou team as a whole paused at the threshold, hesitating to be the first to step through the exit to the gym. Practice had just ended, and the tired teenagers were already prepared to head to their homes for a warm meal and some rest.

"…You're Izuki, from Seirin?" The team captain was the first to recover from the sight of a solitary figure of a very determined (and crazy) teen blocking the way. Said teen nodded quickly, remembering his manners.

"Izuki Shun, yeah. I'd like to have a word with you, Kasamatsu-san. That is if you don't mind of course."

"Me? Well, yeah sure, it's okay. Why though?" The stocky teen was obviously confused —as was his whole team (Seirin's too, for that matter)— but being the open, honest man he'd always been, he saw no harm in denying the request.

Something glinted in his eyes as the Pun Lord struck a pose with an arm on his opposite elbow, his supported arm raised to grab at his chin with two fingers. "You see…" He began with uncanny seriousness. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity." He paused for dramatic effect. "Problem is, I can't put it down."

There was a general snort in the audience —they had caught on, found it mildly amusing and overall ridiculous but immediately dismissed it in favor of picking up their former conversations. Avid steel eyes sought out his target's reaction —letting the rest of the Kaijou team slip out.

So eager were they of heading home they missed their leader's answer.

"…Do you need help in Physics?"

"There, there…" Koganei patted his fellow teammate on the shoulder with a resigned look on him, as Izuki Shun whimpered into his pillow.

Mitobe scratched his cheek, sympathetically while Hyuuga ignored everyone in favor of the snacks. It was a day off and all the second-years (Kiyoshi was in the bathroom) had already planned on bunkering down in Izuki's house. They hadn't taken into account that their host would be so… depressed.

"He will be my demise. He is The Miss!" Izuki continued, heedless of any attempt at consoling him. Though now that a pun had escaped his lips, he had gotten Hyuuga's full attention.

"Izuki. Shut. Up." The team captain muttered, his hands gripping the popcorns so hard some started to fall off their container. Fed up with the sulking, his Clutch persona slipped a bit. "You moron, if you're so depressed about it, then do something about it instead of moping around!"

Far away a stocky teen shivered. And kicked Kise for putting the AC so cold.

"…Do you have any business with us? If not just leave, you're disrupting practice." Kasamatsu had requested in that blunt way of his that always subtly reminded Izuki of Hyuuga. He was always kind though. Whenever it was Kise disrupting Seirin's practice, Hyuuga and Coach Aida were always snappish and sometimes downright murderous towards the model.

Though it might be because the model actually disrupted practice in a huge way, plastered himself all over Kuroko, pissed Kagami and brought his whole fan club along.

...He needed to get better references. He couldn't exact match his silent intrusion to the carnival that Kise always brought. Maybe that was why Kasamatsu was always frowning?

"…Izuki?" Still civil, still patient, but demanding. Without their captain to snap them into it, his team was already curiously peeking to see who it was at their door. "Oi, you guys! I never said you could take a break! Back to practice!"

"Hmm, I think…" Izuki frowned with his mouth, slightly put off. He had never been one to disrupt anyone's practice, despite he himself not minding being distracted much. But he really wanted to take his plan into fruition! "Hey, I think I don't want to keep eating your time, otherwise your clock will get hungry and go back four seconds. So can I get your number?" He interjected the pun with ease, smiling genially. Yet his target didn't bat an eye, staring at him dubiously before shrugging and reciting the numbers.

Kasamatsu had no idea what that thing with the clock had been about, but he figured that Izuki was trustworthy enough on court, he might as well give his number. With some luck he would just get called for whatever Izuki wanted this time instead of having to wait him out as the Eagle-eye user zoned out and left without saying why he was there in the first place.

He didn't think much on the situation and once the Seirin member jogged away, waving goodbye over his shoulder, the event was quickly dismissed from his mind. He had slacking underclassmen to kick.

Chapter one End

Oh my god, I'm so done with this.

I'm terrible at jokes, worse even at puns. I guess that should've been a warning. I love Izuki's stupid puns but for the life of me, I can't imitate him. Kasamatsu has now ascended from my top favorites to my top favorite in this story just because he'll be as clueless as me.

WHY, WHY did I have to get interested in a pairing with Izuki, lord of puns here!?

Is there any other IzuKasa story? If not I want to proclaim myself the creator of this odd pair XD.

Edit: So sorry about the lack of break lines. It flew right over me.