a/n: This is short. And this is awful and I apologize for that! But I am back and needed something short to get back into writing and all that stuff. The next chapter will be better, I promise! I didn't forget about you, guys! I've tried writing this chapter numerous times for the last two months. Can't believe this story is almost two years old, oh my god! I hope some of you are still reading and keeping up! Thank you so much for your support!

BONDINGS | 17TH CHAPTER

. . . .

Three months with the little one in my belly. And one month without Tobias.

I've been thinking about him every day since the day he disappeared. There is an unbearable emptiness filling my chest, a hole in my heart. Some days I am able to ignore it, simply blacking it out until the moment I'm all alone again. And Eric, he tries his best to keep me afloat when the big waves hit. But even the strongest hearts seem to struggle every once in a while.

It must be around three in the morning when I turn around in bed. My hands find nothing but the soft bed sheets as they wander over the side Eric is usually sleeping on. I get up slowly, putting on the shirt I've worn the day before and step outside the bedroom. Then I spot Eric in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his arms folded over his chest.

"Hey, babe." I say quietly as I move towards him. I press my body against his, my head resting on his chest as I wrap my arms around him. For a moment I close my eyes, silently enjoying his warm embrace.

Moving my head up, I go on my tiptoes to kiss him. I pull back slowly but he follows, asking for another kiss. And another, and another. Gently Eric pulls me back closer to his chest, and I wrap my arms around his neck to hold onto him.

Within seconds he's got me right where he wants me; back in the bedroom, me on my four legs, begging for more. The nights began to look like that weeks ago. He would always be home in the very early morning hours. And I would always wait through the night to grant him that tiny bit of relief.

The next morning I wake up alone. I take a shower, throw on some clothes and get ready to meet up with Christina in the dining hall.

"There you are, Tris!" she says. "What took you so long?"

Excitedly she pulls me through the hallways, not giving me one single moment to breathe in. She doesn't answer any of my questions, leaving me no other option than to simply follow her quick steps until we reach the infirmary. Rapidly she pushes me through the door and in front of one of the beds. I stare at it speechlessly. It is hard to believe my eyes right now.

"Tobias?" I whisper his name. Slowly I lean closer to the bed until I kneel down in front of it. My shaking hands carefully touch onto his skin but his eyes remain closed.

"He is alive." I hear Will's voice from behind me. "But he needs to rest. He'll be okay in a couple of days."

This whole situation feels anything but real. I am scared, feeling lost and helpless, and confused, waiting for the moment I wake up to face the brutal reality again. Then I feel Christina's slim fingers touching on my shoulder.

"They found him near the main gate yesterday. He looked awful and dehydrated." she says.

It takes me a moment to grasp her words, putting them together to realize the sense of the things she said. Then I turn around to see her. "Yesterday? How long is he already here?"

"I'm not sure." Will says, thinking. "They got him here before midnight."

"And you didn't send someone to let me know about it?"

"Well, I wanted to send someone but Eric was here. And he said that he would take care of it."

"Didn't he tell you?" Christina asks.

"No, he didn't. If he did, I would have come immediately." I say.

The next couple of hours I've spend at Tobias's bed. I'm holding onto his hand tightly, resting my head on his chest to listen to the beating of his heart. Despite the bruises and cuts on his face, he's looking quite peaceful and calm. Carefully I run my fingers down his cheek.

I hear someone open the door and I turn around, finding Eric standing in the door frame. I stand up slowly, walking towards him and pressing my hand against his chest, pushing him outside the room rather roughly. Then we stand face to face.

"You knew he was here and you didn't tell me?" I yell, struggling to keep my voice low.

"I thought it might be better for you to get some sleep first."

"Get some sleep, are you kidding me? That was certainly not your idea when you came home."

For the next moment he doesn't say anything. With crossed arms over his chest, his eyes wander down to the ground. I can see that he is anything but proud of what he has done. He is well aware of the fact that he fucked this up but I know him well enough to say that he feels anything but regret. In fact I believe that this is some kind of a plan he didn't spend much thinking on. He didn't want me to know about Tobias's return. Especially, he didn't want me to know that he already knew about it when he came home last night.

Without hesitation I turn my back on him, leaving him right where he is standing to get back to Tobias.

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