summary: there can actually come a time where being rejected multiple times can lead to an unlikely trauma.

a/n: just running around with the idea. It's my first time to write a fairy tail fanfic – been dying to write one actually, and gruvia to boot! God bless that ship. dedicated to BonneyQ, who is my absolute favorite Gruvia writer, alongside with randomteenager. you guys should check out their stories. tho, this one will never be as amazing as theirs.

Her azure hair – free from the binds of her hat – flew against the gentle breeze, tickling her cheeks. She paid no mind, tucking her chin deeper into her knees as she kept her eyes forward.

She was just staring at the river, watching how fast the water ran and split into the rocks.

The water was clear, and cool.

So blessedly cool.

She could see it, and she could smell it to testify her observations.

She smiled a small smile.

It sure was nice to be around her element, giving her the comfort.

Sadly, it wasn't enough to ease the pain inside.

The tears started anew, she fought to keep them in, blinking rapidly as she took a sharp breathe and looked up.

Around her, the sky was dawning on. She's been there longer than she should.

She thinks she's had enough – she always thinks that, only to fall back when the hope for tomorrow burns.

But this time, it's for real.

Or so she'd like to believe.

The tears fell before she could stop them.

She was only human after all, and even she had her limitations.

Juvia just never thought she'd see the day she'd do this – give up her feelings.

She felt the urge to laugh, bitterly. But she slapped a hand to her mouth, the tears streaming down her face seemed to be enough.

Her feelings that were – what, according to him? Shallow and immature.

Not to mention, that it "broke to the point that tested her sanity and resulted to stalker tendencies"

Those words only wounded her deeper than she'd thought.

She can't believe how much she's let those words slide because she looked at the bright side, tomorrow was another day and things were likely to change.

Tomorrow.

Change.

Funny words that she held on, only to be empty, disappointing.

Falling backwards, with her back against the grass, she covered her face with her hands as sobs began to escape her mouth, tears falling in a rush.

The rain should have come by now, her emotions accentuating with her magic. But with practice restraint, the rain didn't come. Purple was beginning to win over orange.

She didn't want to alert anyone of her distress.

This was one thing she wanted to handle on her own, especially one so personal and sensitive.

She decided, she needed a break from all this.

She wanted to get away.

She knew it was selfish, but at the same time, it was selfless.

The final act of her love.

The next day, Fairy Tail was its usual rowdy self.

But Juvia Lockser was nowhere to be found.

When asked of her whereabouts, the barmaid – Mirajane, would say that she took one of the S-class missions. The ones that took years to finish, without the assurance of ever returning.

However, when Juvia requested to take it, both Mira and the Master couldn't say no to the look they saw on her face.

There was determination, and there was an empty void.

Eventually, they gave it to her. She wouldn't leave until two days to alert the historians of her coming.

But Juvia, already geared and ready, took off without even saying goodbye.

The mission she took was an investigative research in Teardrop island, they needed an elemental mage – specifically, a water mage, because they may be looking into their long-lost civilization.

It was the first mission she found that immediately piqued her interest, and for good reason.

Long-lost civilization about water mages?

It sounded like a fresh start.

After all, this mission could help build herself from the bottom-up. It would take years, but she didn't mind.

In translation, I'm going to find myself. Please don't look for me. I'll be back when I'm ready.

Rain poured that morning, washing away yesterday's demise.

When Gray Fullbuster woke up, he felt his chest clenching painfully.

He didn't know why as he looked out his window.

Juvia...