A super huge apology to all of you who have stuck with me here. School just got so busy that I haven't had the chance to look at anything else for quite some time. I think for future stories I post; they will be finished completely. Thanks for sticking around, this story is almost through.

Please don't forget to review! ;)

The doctor had given his permission to let Hutch leave the next afternoon, with strict care instructions for his partner.

"Now Officer," He kept his tone serious, "I know that your eager to leave here with your friend, but you must understand that he is emotionally hurt. He should be physically better in a few more days, but I can't seem to fix something I can't see."

"I understand that, Doc," Starsky nodded, "But, Hutch and I are best friends. Whatever's bothering him, I'll be able to find out."

The doctor wrote on his clipboard, "Are you sure you're able to care for him?"

"Yeah. It's not the first time I've looked after him when he's been hurt," Starsky added, "We're cops, so I've had a lot of experience in…. these places."

"I see," The doctor nodded, "Well, here is his prescription. Keep him from overdoing it. No stress. The dizziness, fatigue, and possible nausea will go away in a few days. If anything unusual happens bring him back immediately."

"Ok," Starsky took the paper and slipped it in his pocket, "I appreciate your help, Doc." He shook the man's hand.

"My pleasure, Officer," The doctor smiled, "And I hope I won't be seeing you again for some time."

"Don't worry," Starsky smiled walking away, "I'll try to stay clear of this place for as long as I can."

He jogged through the hall stopping at his friend's door. He paused a moment considering if he should knock or not. He shook his head.

"I've never had to knock before. But then again there wasn't a wall between us before. Alright, this has gone far enough!"

He opened the door, surprised to see Hutch sitting on the bed dressed and ready to go.

"Hey, whatcha doing outta bed?" He asked.

"Waiting for the release papers," Hutch replied, "Doc, told me I could leave today, right?"

"Right," Starsky put his hands on his hips, "But he wants someone to watch you for a while so I naturally offered…"

"Why?" Hutch suddenly asked.

Starsky was suddenly at a loss for words. That was a good question and the detective was holding back the urge to rattle his friend.

"Why Hutch? That's a great question, dammit! Why did you backstab me? Why didn't I forgive you sooner? Why did you drink yourself half to death? Why are we like this now?"

But none of those thoughts were spoken. Starsky didn't have the heart to hurt his partner more than perhaps he had already.

So he just asked casually, "Why what, babe?"

Hutch looked at the floor shaking his head, "Never mind."

I uh..." The brunet cleared his throat, "I got your release papers and stuff so… you ready to go home?"

Hutch stood up and slipped on his jacket. Huggy had been by yesterday evening and had brought both men a change of clothes. Even the bartender had no words of comfort to offer both men, and was more than shocked to see the distance between them.

"My place or yours?" He asked.

Starsky swallowed the lump in his throat. That statement sounded so normal. Almost like they were at the Pits having a dinner laughing over some cold beers. The weeks had certainly changed for the worse and now Starsky even considered playing along with Hutch's undercover game.

Yes, they would just pretend none of this happened. It would be pretty simple, but Starsky knew this game wouldn't last for long. What would happen when they got tired of pretending?

"Starsk?" Hutch called his name and it sounded like he had been talking to him for some time.

"Hm?" Starsky frowned, "Oh uh… my place. Not sure if we got any food, so what do ya say we order a pizza?"

Hutch just nodded.

"Starsk, this just isn't going to work! Why can't you see that?"

"Hutch?" The blonde looked up from the floor and was startled to see Starsky standing right in front of him.

"I'm… really sorry this happened, buddy," Starsky's voice was light and a few tears escape. Brushing them away quickly in frustration he continued "I'm just…. I want things to be back the way they use to be, ya know?"

Hutch tried to contain his own tears. He fought the urge to hold his best friend. This man was so loving, understanding, and loyal. Hutch was ashamed of himself for putting his partner through this misery. Yet as much as it hurt him to have this wall up, he didn't have the strength to take it down.

"Me too," He replied hating the shakiness in his voice, "I hate this…. all of this, but I just…"

"What?" Starsky urged when noticed Hutch had stopped speaking. He was relishing the fact that Hutch was opening up a bit and speaking to him. Little by little perhaps the wall was coming down.

Hutch sighed, "Let's just go home, Starsky."

The brunet's hopes were crushed. Hutch had closed up again. He could see the pain buried deep in those sky blue eyes he knew so well. Perhaps Hutch couldn't open up to him, but Starsky would keep trying.

"Ok." He forced a smile. He crossed the room heading to the door and held it open for the blonde.

Hutch wasn't sure if the ache in his heart would ever go away, or just keep redoubling itself.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The drive home was quiet and uneasy. Hutch didn't want to say anything, and Starsky didn't know what to say. However, he wasn't ready to back down from this fight.

"You feeling any better?" He asked keeping his eyes focused on the road.

Hutch sighed. Yeah Starsk, every hour just keeps getting worse, I'm feeling great. Yet, he chose not to say that.

"Sure."

Starsky took a quick glance at his partner. The wind tousled the sun kissed hair lightly. His sky blue eyes looked like they held a deep hurt.

"Keep talking to him." The brunet's heart said.

"You know, I've been thinking about getting the brake fluid changed," He spoke, "You should change it every two years."

Hutch wasn't really listening. He glanced out the window. It was late afternoon and the sun was showing its last peeks of brightness before closing the day. It truly was beautiful, but none of the sun's brightness touched the detective's heart.

"Hutch?" Starsky had stopped his conversation realizing his friend wasn't listening.

"Hm?" The blonde blinked out of whatever he was in, "What?"

"What's up, buddy?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"Starsk!" Hutch finally let his irritation show, "I don't want to hear about your damn brake fluid! Why are you doing this, dammit! I don't want you to take me home, and act like nothing happened! I…." He took a breath, "I don't want you to act like this."

Starsky took in what the blonde was saying. He tried to lay a reassuring hand on the strong leg, but it was brushed away.

"Then what do you want, Hutch?" Starsky took a quick glance at him and then the road.

"I want you to leave me alone!" He yelled back.

The silence could've been cut with a knife.

Starsky felt the same knife pierce his heart as the night when he had found his partner in his drunken stupor. Without thinking, he swerved the car to the curb and parked it.

"Well, that's not gonna happen!" The fire that had been building itself deep inside the brunet's chest was finally erupting, "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. You're my partner, my best friend, and you're my brother. That's makes you my responsibility, got that?" He wiped away the tears that pooled in his eyes in frustration.

Hutch didn't say a word, surprised at the emotional outburst from his friend. More guilt hit him when he saw the tears in the cobalt eyes. He knew he was responsible for those tears. He was responsible for all the pain his partner felt now.

"Starsk," The blonde tried to get the word out, "What happened to us?"

The words were so genuine and full of pain that Starsky had to fight the urge to hold his friend close. He settled for ruffling the back of the blonde hair, rubbing his neck lightly.

"Nothing, babe," Starsky whispered trying to reassure, "We just got sidetracked. We're still here. It's still Me and Thee."

Hutch looked down at his boots, "No…it's my fault. Everything."

Starsky's eyebrows arched in sorrow. He hated hearing the guilty tone in his friend's voice.

"Hey," He whispered, "An't ya gonna let me share some of that guilt?"

Hutch looked at Starsky in confusion, "You? Why? You never did anything wrong."

Starsky sat back running a hand through his hair. The tears were blurring his vision and he opened his window for some more fresh air.

"You don't think I haven't been thinking about this every day for weeks?" His voice cracked under the strain of emotion, "I wasn't exactly being a good buddy to you either. Don't you know how sorry I am for all this?

For a moment all his pain was forgotten, and Hutch moved close to his best friend to touch the beard rough cheek.

"Starsk, don't do this to yourself. You did nothing to deserve what I did to you. How I backstabbed you. How I betrayed your trust."

"Hey," Starsky replied, "That goes both ways, blondie. You didn't deserve this either, and I'm sorry."

Hutch shook his head, "I can't forgive myself as easily as you can, Starsk. I'm sorry."

Starsky looked at his friend and was surprised to see Hutch looking back at him. The blue eyes held hurt inside, but also something more. Yet, Starsky wasn't sure. Was it perhaps that he was seeking comfort?

Perhaps the wall that had evaded any kind of comfort that he was trying to give, was finally coming down. Was Hutch finally seeking comfort, or was he just opening up his feelings to his partner? Either way, Starsky welcomed the conversation gladly into his lonely heart.

"Blondie," Starsky smirked affectionately trying to evoke some happiness toward his friend, "You know that Kira was just playing us both. She had us set from the start."

Hutch remained silent. He knew what Starsky said was true, but he wasn't quite ready to let go of his own remorse just yet.

"And we fell for it," Starsky finished, "Like two high school kids."

"I know what she did," Hutch shook his head, "I mean what about…. How are we going to get us back?"

Starsky glanced at his partner and sighed, "I don't know. Not yet anyway. We'll come up with something," He gave the cop next to him a light rub on the arm, "We always do."

"Hm. We." Starsky noticed a faint smirk on the blonde's face, "Not so sure we can believe in that anymore."

The reality of the statement hit the brunet hard in the stomach. The thought of never getting any of this back again was enough to make him lose it right here and now. However, he refused to delve into those thoughts. He would just try with everything inside of him to not let that happen. And if all else failed….

Reality would never be the same for Detective Starsky.