For Royai Week 2015 - Day 3: Telephone

Riza Hawkeye learns the hard way to never trust Team Mustang to relay a message to the colonel for her.


"You're looking nice, Hawkeye. Got a date?" Havoc eyed the lieutenant up and down as he leaned back in his chair, taking in the civilian clothes she had changed into before she had returned to the office for her bag. She had even freed her hair, letting it fall down her shoulders in golden waves. Havoc silently mused that she was dressed up enough to fluster Mustang, if he hadn't been trapped in meetings all morning.

"I'm meeting an old friend that I met while I was still at the Academy. We haven't seen each other in ages, and probably have a lot of catching up to do." She slipped her uniform into her bag, likely meaning to change back into it before returning to headquarters. "Could you tell the colonel that I'll be back from my lunch break a little bit late?"

"Sure, sure." Havoc was hardly paying attention, watching Hawkeye strap her gun into the thigh holster she kept hidden beneath her skirt.

"Thanks, Havoc."

Breda was returning from handing in his morning's paperwork just as Hawkeye stepped out the door. "Where's she off to, all dolled up?" He glanced at Havoc, who was still watching the door Hawkeye had left through, a smug smirk on his face.

"A date with an old Academy friend, I think she said." Havoc straightened in his chair, looking down at the paperwork he had hardly touched since arriving at work that morning.

"A date, huh?" Breda raised an eyebrow and walked over to his desk. "I wonder how the colonel will feel about that." He seemed to remember something as he set down the work he had been given for the afternoon. "Oh, Gloria at the documents desk wants you. She said they're cleaning out the office closet, and could really use some muscles. She mentioned a possible date if you agreed to help."

Havoc was already at the door, his chair carelessly pushed away from his desk. "See you later, then!" He disappeared out the door. A second later, he poked his head back in. "Oh, and Hawkeye wants us to tell Mustang that she'll be back from her lunch break late, because of her date."

"Got it."

Breda worked diligently for the next hour. At some point, Kain Fuery returned from his own lunch break, and began fiddling with a broken radio he had brought in to fix. A station discussing the finances of Amestris came in and out of signal as Fuery adjusted the dials, filling the office with a harsh static until a glare from Breda told Fuery to use his headphones.

A dull ache in the pit of his stomach soon told Breda that it was time to take his own lunch break. He stood and stretched, eyeing the clock. Mustang had been in his meeting for four hours, now. He wasn't going to be pleased when he was finally let out.

Breda walked over to Fuery, catching his attention. "Hey, Fuery."

Fuery lifted one side of his headphones off of one ear, trying to hear Breda better. "Yes?" But mostly he heard static and random phrases about "finances" being tossed around due to his headphones remaining on his other ear.

"I'm going to lunch. If Mustang gets back before Hawkeye does, she wants us to tell him that she's on a date with her boyfriend and will be back later."

Fuery looked shocked. "O-okay!" Had he heard him right? It certainly sounded clear enough, despite the static. Still, he was surprised to say the least.

Beda hadn't been gone for ten minutes before Colonel Mustang stomped into the office, slamming the door harder than necessary behind him. "Four and a half hours! Four and a half hours of time wasted with meaningless discussion on whether or not the military should step in to help West City with it's current agriculture problems!" His eyes darted around the office. "Where the hell is everyone?"

Fuery took the headphones off his ears and sheepishly looked straight down at the desk in front of him. "Well, I don't know where Lieutenant Havoc is, but Lieutenant Breda went to lunch. And, well, Lieutenant Hawkeye, um…"

"Spit it out, Fuery. Where is my Lieutenant?"

"She's out to lunch with her fiancé."

Mustang froze, narrowing his eyes at Fuery. His voice, when it came to him, was seething. "Hawkeye doesn't have a fiancé. I would know about something like that."

An involuntary shudder ran through Fuery. "That's what Breda said she said to tell you. That she'll be back late from lunch because she's out with her fiancé!" He could hear his own voice getting smaller and smaller.

A snarl escaped Roy Mustang's throat as he stormed back out of the office.

"Colonel Mustang! Where are you going?" Fuery called after him. This wasn't good - this wasn't good, at all.

"If she's engaged, I've got some objections!"

Mustang disappeared down the hallway before Fuery could say anything to stop him.

The first place Mustang looked was a street close to Central Command, lined with restaurants and popular amongst members of the military. He met Hawkeye just as she exited one of the restaurants, already changed back into her uniform and her companion no where in sight.

Hawkeye looked perplexed at the dark haired man marching toward her. "Colonel, what are you doing-"

Colonel Mustang took her firmly by the elbow and swiftly led her to a quiet side street. At this point, he couldn't keep it in any longer.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?"

Hawkeye blinked a few times, too shocked and perplexed by the unexpected question to answer.

"Really, Riza! We've known each other since we were children, and I have to find out about this from Kain Fuery? Do you know how painful that is? And who is this bastard? Why don't I know of him? And if you're engaged, why did he run off so fast after the two of you had lunch?" Smoke was practically coming out of his nostrils.

Hawkeye couldn't hold it in anymore. Seeing Mustang this worked up about what must have been a failure in communication was too much. She started laughing. Loudly. Uncontrollably. She clenched her sides, tears forming in her eyes.

"What- why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

"You! You're so amusing when you're upset!" Hawkeye wheezed, still doubled over.

It was contagious, and Mustang felt a chuckle beginning to build in him, as well. "You're, uh, not engaged… are you?" His laughter soon matched hers.

Hawkeye shook her head. "I was having lunch with Rebecca Catalina!" She took a deep breath, trying to quell her amusement. "I didn't want to tell Havoc exactly who it was, because I know they had a thing back when we were stationed out in East City, and I didn't want to upset him since she hasn't told him she's in town, yet! Of course I'm not engaged, you idiot!" She took Mustang's arm and began to guide him back to Central Command.

"I'm going to kill the team when we get back." Mustang shook his head, letting relief flood him and secretly enjoying Hawkeye's presence on his arm.

"I'll help you." She returned the grin Mustang gave her in response to her comment, feeling it spread through her whole face. Her lunch date had turned out far more entertaining than she had originally thought.

They walked in silence the rest of the way back, enjoying each other's company and closeness. By the time they reached the office, even Fuery had disappeared somewhere (likely hiding from the colonel's potential wrath), and they were alone.

The two paused in front of Mustang's desk, and Mustang turned to look at Hawkeye. "Lieutenant, you would tell me, right? If there was someone? I mean, there isn't someone, is there? Because, I just-"

Hawkeye rolled her eyes before she grabbed Mustang by the collar of his uniform shirt. In an instant her lips were on his and they were both fighting for air as they drank each other in. As soon as Mustang lifted his hands to bring Hawkeye closer, she was gone. He watched, speechless, as she walked back to her desk and sat down. "See, sir? You have nothing to worry about." She picked up her pen and calmly began working on the forms in front of her.

A long, low whistle came from Havoc, standing in the doorway. His cigarette lay on the floor, having fallen from his mouth. "Damn."


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