The Lightsaber

Mayhem at Hogwarts

By: Aminta Defender

#01: Behind the Scenes

Early Evening

Hogwarts, Entrance Hall

October 13, 1995

The minister was calling for the arrest of Harry Potter in the entrance hall, while the Headmaster rebuffed him. Unknown to either party, Luna had been observing ever since the minister had stepped into Hogwarts. Had anyone asked her what she was doing, she would have said that she was tracking nargles. Of course, no one would be asking her.

"I am in my full rights being here Dumbledore!" Fudge shouted.

The once vacated hall began to fill with students, attracted by the shouting. Unaware of the spectator, the duo continued their argument. Behind the minister, the aurors shifted nervously.

Luna turned to the girl who stood next to her, "He has a really bad wrackspurt infestation, you know."

The girl turned to her confused, but Luna smiled serenely and continued to inspect the minister, "He has one of the worst infestations I've seen. Perhaps he should talk to Harry Potter about his remedies, because Harry Potter has nearly conquered his wrackspurt infestation."

Shifting from foot to foot, the girl next to her looked around. Her eyes widened in relief and she grabbed the arm of another girl, presumably a friend. Luna looked at the now vacant spot, a small frown marring her face, before shrugging and turning back to the minister. Around her the nargles whispered to her, warning her of events to come.

"Harry Potter is a sorcerer!" Fudge yelled.

Calmly, Dumbledore countered, looking Fudge straight into the eyes, "Really what makes you believe that?"

Puffing his chest out, "I have in good confidence from the High Inquisitor that Harry Potter is performing illegal magic and has confessed to being a sorcerer. You can't do anything because I will have him arrested right now! I will not have you interfering a sanctioned Ministry proceeding this time!"

"Harry Potter is there," whispered the nargles and Luna nodded slightly, before slipping out.

There were certain things she had to do and she slowly began to ascend to the Owlery. A letter to her father was in order, he would be most interested to hear of the events at Hogwarts. It supported their theory after all that Fudge had an army of Heliopaths. If Harry Potter was close to uncovering them, then the minister of course would want him removed.

Loud crashes and bangs reached Luna's ear as she climbed the last set of stairs to the Owlery. She had to admit that she was glad to not be anywhere near the source, who knew what damage she could suffer. As another crash resounded through Hogwarts, she began to run.

Panting at her exertion, she stopped in the owlery. Probably because of the commotion in the entrance hall, that was disturbing Hogwarts's structural integrity, many of the owls had left. Luna glanced around in dismay, realizing there were no owls at their posts. She closed her eyes and listened silently and the sound of a small hoot, rewarded her. Quickly she moved to the far corner, trying to spot the owl. A small pile of wood that had presumably fallen due to the shaking, caught her attention and she gingerly began to move them away. Underneath was a small struggling brown owl.

"Shh, you're going to be fine," she comforted the owl, "Your name is Bruce?"

The owl hooted, and Lune stroked it's tawny head gently, "Well hi there Bruce. Why were you all alone? Did all your friends leave you?" a curious expression crossed her face, "What are friends like? I haven't had any you know. I suppose it is a good thing."

Her light fingers brushed against the owl's wing. Bruce began to hoot frantically, as he tried to escape. Lune gently grabbed the small owl around it's wings and set it down in a pile of straw.

"It looks as if your wing is broken Bruce. I can fix it of course," Luna removed her wand from behind her ear and pointed it at the cowering owl, "Don't be afraid. Brackium Emendo"

Bruce stood up and blinked at Luna, Luna blinked back. He hooted and longingly looked at the window, where he could escape.

"Can you wait please, Bruce? I want to send a letter to my father."

The owl stayed still, and Luna took that as his consent and pulled out a piece of parchment where she began to write her letter.

"Hello?" someone interrupted Luna's writing. She could hear the door of the owlery closing. Cautious, she grabbed her own wand and held it out in front of her. She wouldn't be going down without a fight.

A bushy haired girl stepped forward, with her wand drawn. Luna blinked at her and replaced her wand behind her ear.

"You're Hermione Granger. I wouldn't try to find Harry Potter right now. Fudge is attacking him because he was close to finding out about his secret army of heliopaths."

"What?"

"Oh, it's quite alright if you don't know. Most people don't know about Fudge building a secret army made of heliopaths. They're in the Department of Mysteries. Of course the Department of Mysteries can't be confined just to level nine of the ministry. After all who would put a dangerous area above the Wizengamot, which contains all those very important people."

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused. Did you want to send a letter, because Bruce is the only owl available right now? If you want to, I would send it now, because who know when the toad will be trying to eat owls. Owls going out are much tastier than owls going in, unless they're from Harry Potter."

Hermione Granger stood still and regarded Luna before lowering her own wand, "I think I would like to do that."

"That's good! Be sure to ask for a survival kit, because the heliopaths may try to take over Hogwarts and then the house-elves will leave. I think," Luna paused thoughtfully, "Either way, the pink toad is going to make life difficult. Then the dragon and his goon are going to change and cause more trouble, but the dragon will learn of his mistake and will seek revenge. If careful you are, the dragon may help you."

Luna gazed at her companion, who was not paying attention. She frowned, people should pay more attention to their surroundings. If they did then wrackspurt infestations wouldn't be so bad.

"Bruce, can you take three letters? Because I've got to send a get well note to Amelia Bones, a stunner did hit her after all. That's got to hurt."

Hogwarts, Lower Dungeons

October 14, 1995

Luna stood as still as possible behind the suit of armor. Very soon her target would be in sight and she would have back her potion homework. If she was lucky she would also recover her socks and shoes. Having socks sounded nice, as it was getting very cold. Soon the snow would fall, covering Hogwarts in a fine white sheet.

"And what might you be doing?" barked a Professor behind her.

She whirled around, causing the armor to crash forward, facing Professor Snape, "Oh my, your wrackspurts are getting worse. This won't do at all."

Professor Snape walked closer to her, pointing his finger at her, "I'm thinking of assigning detention, for…disturbingthe peace."

"But I'm not, I was standing silently behind a suit of armor until you startled to me. If anyone deserves detention for disturbing the peace it would be the suit of armor, but it's not really its fault for being made out of metal and that would be unfair to it."

The professor stared at her hard, "I don't think it matters if I assign detention right now. I do hope you've had breakfast," his eyes landed on her feet, "And where are your shoes?"

Luna scowled at him, "It matters if you assign detention because then I will have to redo my potions homework and it will be messy. The day is going to be frustrating because the toad is going to take inventory of your ingredients and destroy the dangerous ones. In the evening when you'll be correcting my homework the messy handwriting is going to aggravate you to such an extent that you'll break your quill. As a result you will summon another quill, which unfortunately will land in the inkpot and cover all the assignments in red ink."

The professor glared at her, "When I return, I don't want to see you here or else it's detention for a month. And that's ten points from Ravenclaw for knocking down a suit of armor."

Luna stood still as a statue and waited for him to leave. She would have to find a new suit of armor to hide behind. Hopefully the professor would be able to save his important ingredients, if he didn't then he would be very moody during his class and they would all lose house points. A nearby wrackspurt alerted her that her prey was near. She wasn't going to hurt them, after all it was the nargles that made them steal her stuff. One day she would discover how to remove nesting nargles from people's ears.

Two Slytherins walked into the space Luna was watching and she grinned in anticipation.

Three…

Two…

One!

Luna stepped forward in front of them, "Do you want some pudding?"

Both of them scowled and walked forward, rudely pushing past her, "Not from you Loony!"

Calling after the two, "Well that's alright. I just wanted to help Professor Snape, but he didn't like it that I was here and told me he would be back. I really don't want him to be mad because it is

going to be a bad day you know. The toad is going to replace the headmaster and then steal from Professor Snape."

One of the Slytherins stopped and looked back at her. He sighed and visibly slouched, but pulled out piece of parchment and gave it to Luna.

"Don't think I'm trying to be nice, I just don't want you blabbing to Snape that we took your homework," he hissed as he walked closer to Luna.

"I know… I'm still waiting for my shoes, but I know they'll show up. They always do and until then I'm going to enjoy my pudding... Unless you want some?"

He sneered and pushed her before walking back to his friend. Luna smiled and ate a spoonful of pudding. She had her homework back, but the boys were still victims of nargles. Well, she couldn't win all the time.

Noon

Hogwarts, Unknown Location

"Forge, I was thinking that something has to be done," began one of the Weasley twins.

"About the monstrosity that calls herself a witch. I must agree Gred."

"But what to do, Forge… Well we do have-"

"-that generous donation-"

"-and a large pile of experimental sweets-"

"-which we haven't worked out all the side effects-"

"-but I'm sure that we have a willing test subject-"

"-and she'll love the side effects."

Fred stood up happily and turned to his twin, a mischievous grin on his face. He held up his finger to his mouth, to hush his brother and sneaked to the door way. George looked at his twin, his mouth forming a little "O". Giving Fred a thumbs up, he pulled out the Extendable Ears. The twins sat down and began to listen earnestly as someone rounded the corner.

Snape's familiar, greasy voice reached their ears, "The nerve of that woman. Questioning a potion master about his supplies. No, I'm not going to be blowing up anything and while purple is an unusual colour, it is supposed to be that way!"

Snape stopped talking and the sound of his footsteps neared the door. The Weasley twins looked at each other with wide eyes, remembering that Snape had been witness to numerous of their inventions during their stay at Grimmauld. The footsteps paused and the Fred pulled out his wand.

Snape resumed talking, although more slowly, "Ha, well she couldn't confiscate the most useful ingredients, but I will need to find a better hiding place. It would be so terrible if some weasels confronted the toad, because they had found the ingredients."

George poked his brother out of his stupor and they listened more closely, "They'll never find the ingredients, if I hide them behind the one eyed statue," Snape's voice began to grow softer as his footsteps retreated, "Yes I'll hide them there before the next period. It's a full proof plan."

After waiting for what seemed an eternity, the two twins rushed out of the unused classroom. Here was the opportunity they had been waiting for. The ingredients were sure to be useful.

"Wow!" Fred summarized as he stared at their glorious loot. It had been surprisingly easy with only a few traps and spells that the twins had easily dispelled. The twins had found a small chest behind the witch, and while first disappointed at its size, they soon realized there had been numerous expansion charms done to the trunk.

"I must say Gred," began George as he scanned the content, "we really hit the jackpot. There's some stuff here that costs a fortune!"

"No wonder Snape was so mad. This stuff must be bloody expensive."

"No kidding mate," he pulled out some dragon heartstring, "You know what I'm thinking dear brother?"

"Fire, lots of fire."

The two twins laughed, as they pulled out their quills and journals to begin making plans. An inkpot next to them spilled over, their hurry to get their ideas on paper. Complex diagrams and equations began to cover their sheets, as they tried to make their newest inventions. With the chest full of rare and expensive ingredients, there were no restrictions, although the two preferred to have Hogwarts intact, purely for sentimental reasons.

"Hey Gred, remember Dean was talking about those firewacks or something?"

"Oh, yeah, fireworks! We should totally do that. They are so bright and colorful after all."

"You think the toad eats chocolate frogs?"

Fred looked at his brother closely and made a face, "Wouldn't that be mental? It'd be like eating a close relative."

George shuddered, "She'd probably do it, if there was something for her in it," and wrote down "evil chocolate frogs."

A small beep of a device, warned the troublemakers of an intruder to their hideaway. The chest vanished from sight first, followed by their notes. The only things left to see were the twins and a box of candy. In their second year, due to a mishap in the girl's bathroom, the twins discovered an old spell, "Skjul mine iniurias fra nec pernumerare curiosi oyne".

It quickly became one of their trusted spells that proved a life saver in the pranking business. The teachers were no longer able to catch them in wrong doings, or anything costing them more than a couple detentions. As the twins proceeded their pranking career, and created more crazy schemes, the spell allowed for them to accomplish their feats. Unfortunately they could never fool Snape.

"Oooh, are you making a device to catch wrackspurts or defend the school against heliopaths?" exclaimed a young girl, in starting blond hair.

The twins blinked, "You're that Ravenclaw!"

She looked at them oddly, "No, I'm in Ravenclaw… the house. It would be very bad if I was actually inside Ravenclaw. I'd think she'd get a bit plump. I would, if I were inside me. Nor am I that Ravenclaw. I'm pretty sure that there is no bird as my ancestor, the ducks wouldn't bite me if I did. Ducks have really sharp teeth and can see you from far away, like the distance that Harry Potter can travel in five minutes."

George stood up and bowed deeply, offering her his hand, "I'm deeply pleased to meet you. Luna, right?"

Luna put a small bead in his hand, "Like the moon, that Harry Potter travels to tonight."

Fred scrutinized her for a moment before declaring, "I like her, Forge. A bit eccentric and crazy, as well as good fashion sense. She's be the perfect partner in our crim- I mean schemes, uh, plots… No that still sounds too nefarious."

"Study expedition of the Crumple Horned Snorkack!" Luna chimed in.

Fred laughed, "Right, what she said, Study expeditions of the Mumbled Hornsnack."

Luna shook her head and seriously corrected him, "Gred, it's Crumple Horned Snorkack. You'll get the hang of it, but I need to give you a butterbeer cap necklace to keep the wrackspurts away."

The twins slung their arms over her shoulder, "I think that today-"

"-a beautiful partnership is-"

"-being formed that-"

"-will conquer the world!"

Luna laughed, "Why this feels almost like having friends. What do friends do anyway? Friends seem to do many strange things, like ignoring their other friend whose life is in danger."

George smiled, "And that's why we are not friends, but accomplices! Or better… brothers!"

"That sounds good, I can be a boy."

George blushed red and hurriedly stepped away, "Sorry Luna."

The room settled into silence, with the occasional comment from Luna about strange creatures, as the twins began to reverse their spell that caused the items to disappear. When Luna spotted their notes, she had squealed and raced over to read them. To the delight of the twins, Luna soon put forward her own ideas and modifications on theirs. Her presence cheered the duo up, but they wisely remained silent when she began to rant about Fudge's keyboard.

Evening

Hogwarts, DADA Office

Dolores Umbridge wasn't very special, and she knew that. She had graduated from Hogwarts with barely passing grades and hardly any allies. Her saving grace, as she preferred to call it, was her ruthlessness. There was nothing she wouldn't do to accomplish her goals. By blackmailing a couple of people, she had secured a position in the Improper Use of Magic Office. Very slowly she had begun to collect power by her various means.

Umbridge smiled and took a sip of her tea, using her left hand slowly and carefully. She was

among the most powerful witches now. She had the power to dismiss anyone she wanted. She could expel any student that opposed her. She would build a cult, every student would look up to her, they would follow her, and they would do as she commanded.

"Life is good," she whispered, "or rather, it will be marvelous."

There were certain things that would have to be done first. The most prominent being able to enter the Headmaster's Office. The gargoyles wouldn't let her pass. It would never do for the Headmistress to be confined to her measly office. Another smile stretched across her lips, the office was sure to contain incriminating evidence against Dumbledore. He would soon be a wanted man, never a threat to her power again.

There was one other problem though that hung in her mind: Harry Potter.

The teacup in her hand shattered, "THE BRAT! The little golden boy thinks he is so special and can do whatever he wants. BUT NOT ANYMORE! He will rue the day he crossed me, for what he did to me."

A slow sinister smile creeped up her face, "What will you do Potter, when I make life hell for your itsy friends. The teachers can't help them. They're powerless against me!"

A crackle from the fire place caused her to pause and look around. Behind her was the minister's head.

"Dolores, I would like to talk to you."

I hope that everyone enjoyed the first chapter of Mayhem at Hogwarts. This chapter mostly sets up for upcoming events.

Side Note: If anyone is wondering why I haven't updated anything else, it's because I was working on this. Hopefully I'll be updating my other stories in the next dew days.

Fred and George's mystery spell translates to: Hide my wrong doings from prying eyes