Summer classes are over and all my summer jobs are cancelled due to the pandemic! In theory, that means I have more free time for writing. In practice, I started four new hobbies and got a cat. We'll see how it goes. Notes for this chapter in particular: I always felt funny about the "people-eating vampires have RED eyes and animal-eating vampires have GOLD eyes," so I've changed it a little—a couple of you have already commented on Victoria's bright eyes, so hopefully this explains the discrepancy! It's not better than canon, simply different. Also, perhaps more importantly, Bella and Edward have their first kiss! I'm excited, are you?

The two hours I spent at the Newton's outdoor supply store turned out to be the longest two hours I had ever lived through. I did my best to pay attention as Mike walked me through using the cash register, how to clock in and out, and helped me begin to unpack a shipment of bug spray, but Edward kept creeping back around the edges of my subconscious.

"Bella?"

I realized that Mike had called my name twice and I hadn't heard until now. "Yes! Sorry, what is it?"

"It's time for you to clock out, actually," he said, looking at me strangely over the top of the box I was working on. "Wow! I didn't expect you to get so far into sorting these—you must have been really focused."

"Oh, you know," I replied, feeling awkward. "Mondays." My response made no sense, but he accepted it.

"See you tomorrow," he said. "Do you remember how to punch out?"

I did. I was in the parking lot as soon as humanly possible, already reading for my phone. Edward's number was there, programmed into my favorites list. Just looking at it made me smile.

He picked up on the first ring. "Edward speaking, how may I help you?"

The politeness made my smile bigger. "It's Bella." For a second I worried that he might have changed his mind about seeing me—I still couldn't believe that I was cool or interesting enough to hold his attention for long. "Want to come over?"

"Yes," he replied, almost cutting off the end of my question in his hurry. "When?"

"I'll be home in ten minutes." Forks being a small town wasn't so bad after all—there was much less traffic and everything was close to everything else. "Um… my dad might be there."

"Do you want to introduce me to him?" Edward sounded cautious, and I wondered why.

"Not yet." I wasn't even sure how I would go about doing that, but I was afraid that my straitlaced father would try to give me The Talk—or worse, relationship advice—and we would both be incredibly uncomfortable. I would have to figure out how to safely share the subject. "Can you come through the window?" The suggestion felt absolutely wicked and equally thrilling.

Edward chuckled. "I suppose I can, just open it when you get home."

"I will." I paused, trying to think of how to end the conversation. I couldn't use the l-word, but I wasn't used to phone-calls that didn't include it. "Um… bye." Its absence left an uncomfortable hole.

"Goodbye," he said, and the line went dead.

I leaned against my truck, unable to contain the smile on my face. It's really happening.

I was careful not to speed on my drive home, as much as I wanted to be there as soon as possible. Nine minutes after Edward had hung up, I was pulling into the driveway. Charlie's cruiser was already there, and I took a minute in the car to breathe deeply and practice my unsuspicious face. I wasn't used to lying to Charlie—or much at all.

Charlie was on the couch watching TV. He muted it with a smile when I walked through the door, and I smiled back.

"How was your first shift at Newton's?"

"It was okay. I just learned the basics. I have to figure out how to balance it with homework, I guess."

"You've always kept your grades up. I doubt this'll be different."

Coming from Charlie, that was practically effusive. My discomfort about lying by omission increased. "Speaking of homework," I said, "I should probably get upstairs and start on it."

"Not hungry?"

I had forgotten about food entirely until that moment. "I'll, uh, eat a granola bar or something." The longer I talked, the more in danger I was of losing the facade. "Um, love you. Good night." I fled upstairs before I could embarrass myself anymore. Behind me, I heard the TV resume.

Clearly, keeping secrets from Charlie was going to be a tall order. I would have to come clean sooner rather than later.

I knew my room would be neat enough to present to Edward before I got there. I had cleaned and tidied everything over the weekend while sorting through my problems, as usual. I turned the volume up on whatever CD was already in my CD player enough to keep any conversation hidden from the downstairs. I shoved the rocking chair closer to the bed, then opened the window as far as it would go.

The act of wrapping my comforter around me to protect myself from the chilly February air helped calm my nerves. It was only a minute before there was a low thump outside the window. Edward's face appeared and he knocked gently on the sill with one hand.

"Come in," I said, delighted by the gesture. He slithered through the window sinuously and I wondered how it was possible—I would have looked like a broken slinky. "Um, you didn't—park outside the house or—"

"No." He gently straightened his burgundy-colored sweater with one hand and slid the window most of the way down with the other. "I'm sneakier than that." One corner of his mouth quirked upward and I was mesmerized by the expression. "How was work?"

"It was good. Or terrible. I don't really remember," I confessed sheepishly. "How was your evening?"

"Good. Even better, now."

My heart thrilled at the response. "What did you do?"

He hesitated, and I raised an eyebrow. "I guess it's a little late to be keeping secrets. My brothers and I have been running extra patrols around Forks, since—"

"Since—him?" I shuddered.

Edward sat down on the rocking chair, which brought us face to face—all according to plan. "Yes. We can't be too careful."

I pulled the comforter tighter, remembering the private investigator. "There was another one!"

Edward leaned forward, eyebrows furrowing. "Another one?"

"Yes! She—she had a picture of him. She was looking for him."

"How did you know she was a vampire?"

"Her eyes. I don't know how to explain it—they were so bright. It was like looking into the sun. Like you—but more."

A nod confirmed my suspicions. "Most humans don't notice the eyes. You're very perceptive."

I blushed. "Why don't yours get that bright? Or—I mean—is that a personal question?"

One corner of his mouth pulled upward, but didn't change his thoughtful expression. "It's the blood. It has something to do with—well, theories vary. Those who believe in a supernatural origin think it has something to do with the soul. Those who believe in a natural origin think it has something to do with the level of genetic similarity or difference, but the eyes are one of the things that they struggle with explaining."

I leaned back, considering this. "What do you believe?"

Edward shrugged. "I'm inclined to believe in the supernatural explanation, but who really knows? Carlisle is always trying to understand the science of it all. "

I worried my lip—gently, I didn't want a repeat of the last time Edward had been inside my room. I wanted to talk more about vampiric origins, but the subject was still uncomfortably close to my attacker. Thinking about him was the last thing that I wanted to do. "Why did you change your mind? I mean—last week, you were… you pulled away." I didn't think it was just imagination.

Edward had been looking past me, but his shoulders tensed before our eyes locked. "It's complicated."

"Didn't you just say—" I started, and he grinned, looking properly chastened.

"You're right, no secrets. I was afraid—of myself. I… when I saw your face, that day… I hadn't realized how much I cared until then." He looked deadly serious. "I've never felt that way before."

My heart fluttered at the admission. "You were scared?"

"Terrified." The half-smile returned.

We were leaning toward each other and I was unable to look away. "Did Angela—you know, did you read her mind?"

"You think I need to cheat to win your heart?" His tone was playfully offended. "As a matter of fact, yes. But only a little, and not on purpose. I heard Angela thinking about your conversation over the weekend and… it gave me hope. More than I could have dreamed of. And then, in Biology—at first you were reserved, but as we talked, you—you lit up. It was like watching a fire kindle. I couldn't look away." The words tumbled over each other, as if he couldn't get them out fast enough—or he was afraid that if he stopped, they might never come. "I hated to leave you, even for a short while."

I felt a curiously sharp pain in my chest. "I—that's how I felt—feel—too."

Edward's face looked like the sun was rising after six months of winter darkness. "Bella, I'd really like to kiss you right now."

The statement took my breath away. I swallowed again, aware of how close we were to each other. "I'd like that," I whispered, meeting his golden eyes shyly.

He reached one hand up to touch my cheek, sliding cool fingers down along my other rested on my shoulder, oh-so-gently. I leaned into his touch, our faces only inches apart. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever, until I saw the hesitation in his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"I'm not." A small, rational thought started to point out that just because he had been able to withstand blood didn't mean that close physical contact was safe. I ignored it and slid my hands up his shoulders, resting my fingers at the back of his neck. His skin was cold, but I had been expecting that.

Edward shuddered, his grip on my shoulder tightening. "You can't know how that feels."

"I think I have a pretty good idea." I smiled up at him. In that moment, I saw his uncertainty disappear.

He closed the distance between us quickly. Cool lips pressed against mine and I closed my eyes, melting. His mouth wasn't soft, like I had been expecting. A little like kissing a statue. I choked down a giggle at the intruding thought, picturing a make-out session with a Grecian Apollo, and felt an answering smile ghost against my lips. My questing fingertips ran through hair and tightened, pulling him closer. His hands slid downward, snaking around my waist. For a moment I was completely lost in his arms.

Edward pulled away too soon. I protested wordlessly and opened my eyes to see the unabashed need on his face as he settled back on the edge of the chair, hands still tangled in the blanket that wrapped around me. His breathing was ragged—and, I realized, so was mine.

"You're angelic," he murmured, voice husky. "What have I ever done to deserve this?"

The room seemed to be spinning around us. "What have I done to deserve you?"

Edward settled back onto his knees beside the bed, bridging the distance between us. Gently, he brought one hand up to cradle the back of my head, sliding long fingers through my loose hair. "Of the two of us, you're far more deserving."

I leaned against his shoulder. "I can't agree."

"Oh, Bella," he sighed against the side of my head. "I'll never be forgiven for the things I've done."

The memory of the last time he had been in this room filled my head. 'I've done quite a few things that I'd like to change.' I buried my face into his soft sweater and swallowed. "What things?"

"You ought to know." He took a shuddering breath. "I've killed—murdered—people. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time—but—it was inexcusable."

My lips pinched together. How do I respond to that? It wasn't exactly a surprise—I had considered the danger that vampires had posed during my first panicky weekend. But it wasn't something that I wanted to hear. "Who were they?"

"Criminals. Murderers, mostly. A few rapists—or would-bes. People that law enforcement were never going to catch." His fingers tightened in my hair and I shivered.

"Why?" The word felt as though it were being wrung from me.

"We—Rosalie and I—thought we could make the world a better place. That we could make our own justice. So many people got away with—anything, everything—in those days. Between us, we could find the guilty ones and punish them."

"In those days?"

"The thirties. The government only cared about the post-Prohibition gangsters, not the missing wives or the hate crimes or the tiny inheritances."

"Why did you stop?" The most important question, maybe.

"Rosalie found out—I was—I…" Edward trailed off, and I gripped him a little tighter at his clear distress. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Rosalie stopped when she found out that I was using it as an excuse to feed. I stopped when I realized that no crime could justify what I was doing."

I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. "Are you sorry?"

"Of course." He was completely still in my arms.

"Will you do it again?"

"Never."

"Not even to make the world a better place?"

He laughed, shakily. "There are better ways to do that. I know that now."

The silence stretched between us. I ran my tongue along the back of my teeth repeatedly, trying not to bite my lip. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. You did something terrible, but you understand that it was wrong, you stopped, and you're trying to do better." I paused again. It didn't feel as terrifying as finding out that vampires existed… and then there was the fact that for most people, turning into a vampire meant becoming an unrepentant murderer. "All things considered, it could be worse."

There was another silence, then I felt Edward relax against me. "Really?" His voice was muffled against my hair.

"Yeah." I had come a long way from the girl who considered turning the Cullens in to the FBI just a few short weeks ago. "I'm glad you told me."

"So am I."

We stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms, for what seemed like hours. Under normal circumstances, my head would have been spinning, trying to sort through new information and make reasonable conclusions. But just then, nothing seemed important except the boy—the vampire—in my room. Everything was strangely peaceful.

I loved it.