How's it going, everyone? It's me, PK2! AND I…AM…ALIVE! I've always been alive. It's just that I have had no time whatsoever to finish Ness Greil Chapter 6. And I have also wanted to start a side-project, but I have TOO MANY IDEAS FOR ONE AND IT'S STRESSING ME OUT. But, we'll worry about that a little later. Now, I'm sure you all know that yesterday, Roy (and Ryu, but this oneshot is mainly about Roy.) was confirmed for SSB4. You all know that Marth is often seen as Roy's friend. And a lot of you know that I ship Lucina and Dark Pit…and that the former is mistaken for Marth. I thought about all of these things, and this is the result. I hope you all are pleased!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Smash Bros. And the day I will own SSB is the day that Mother 3 is released in America. So, I'll never own SSB. But, hey, If Mother 1/Earthbound Beginnings can come to the US, so can Mother 3!...right…?

"YES! YES! YES! WE'RE FINALLY HERE! NOW I CAN FINALLY START KICKING PEOPLES' BUTTS UP!"

Roy flinched at the words of his companion, Ryu. He had been traveling with the Street Fighter for several months now, and he still hadn't gotten used to the man's excitable, battle-hungry personality. He sweat-dropped as Ryu charged into the Smash Mansion like a bull, screaming his hype to anyone in the surrounding area. This was presumably no one, since they all appeared to be inside.

Smash Mansion…

Now that Ryu was inside of the Mansion. Roy finally had time to look at the mansion and let a wave of nostalgia pour over him. Unlike the karate master, Roy had been in the towering shelter before, back when the number of inhabitants was half of the number now. In those days-the "Melee era", as the citizens called it now-was only the size of a hotel, made of wood with gobs of clay to hold it up. Now, the place was ginormous, almost like a small palace. The frail wood was now covered by a thick sheet of sturdy marble. It's changed so much…I wonder if the Smashers who lived there at the same time as me have changed too…

That was another thing to think about-his friends. Mewtwo, Falco, Ganondorf, Bowser, Mr. Game-and-Watch…and most of all, Marth. His fellow Fire Emblem lord and best friend. "Is he still in the mansion?" Roy wondered to himself. "After all, our games were Japan-exclusive." Roy decided to see for himself. He took a deep breath, opened the doors, and stepped inside.

The first thing he saw was Mario, rubbing his knee and mumbling. Most likely Ryu's work. Roy thought to himself with a chuckle. "Hello, Mario!" he greeted the most popular Smasher. Mario looked up and grinned "Roy! Good to see you! How have you been-"

"IS IT TRUE?!" Mario's greeting was cut off by a flash of brownish-orange fur racing up to his face. Hey, it's Fox! Roy remembered as he turned to the vulpine. "WOLF? CAN IT BE? ARE YOU REALLY BA-"Fox frowned upon seeing Roy. "…Roy?" "Yes, it's me! Fox, it's good to see you!" Fox, however, looked both depressed and angry. "So…Wolf hasn't come back yet?" Fox then began to growl. "DAMN YOU FALCO!" he snarled to himself before stomping off. So, Falco is still here! Roy would have asked Fox how his old pal was doing, but said Smasher had stormed off.

"I'm sorry about that." Mario nodded. Roy turned back to the plumber. "It's okay. I'm fine. But who's Wolf?" Roy asked. Mario sighed. "Wolf was one of the new fighters in the Brawl era. We had to discharge him for this tournament due to his job schedule-he's a bounty hunter. He's also Fox's rival-or, at least, that was what his description said. But, while he was at the mansion, he and Fox were practically joined at the hip. Fox was destroyed when Wolf left. He was almost certain that he would be announced after Mewtwo and Lucas, because there's a new Star Fox game coming out." "Well, that's sad…wait, Mewtwo's back as well?" Roy yelped. Mario smiled before replying; "Well, he left for a while to train in solitude, but, yes, Mewtwo is back. So are all of your other friends. They're really excited to see you again…especially Marth. You should have seen Marth when Master Hand told him you were coming back! He was running around like a headless chicken!" Roy grinned. "Where is he now?" "He should be downstairs. In fact, while I'm at it, I'll take you down to your new room!"

Mario took Roy down to Floor 5, which was apparently where the Smash 4 newcomers and DLC characters boarded. Roy had to admit that it was certainly something to behold. Back during the Melee era, the "rooms" had been little wooden compartments that stank of mildew, with small, rough "mattresses", cupboards smaller than a miniature pony, and rusty, sad TVs that only played static. Now, the rooms looked better than a five-star-hotel suite, which Roy thought was impressive for a thirteen-year span. Roy looked around in awe, taking it all in.

Roy meandered down the hall, taking the splendor in. He could see some of the doors open, giving him a glimpse of some of the newcomers. He saw a yoga instructor performing stretches, a boxer laying waste to a sandbag, a goddess meditating. Roy told himself that he would get to know then later. Continuing on, Roy saw a half-open room door. Inside the room, he saw several turtle-like creatures playing a video game. Roy noted that the one in the middle looked a lot like his old friend Bowser-could these potentially be his kids? Roy chuckled, trying to imagine the lazy, easily-angered Bowser as a dad. "Come on, Roy, step it up!" one of the turtles-the only female-yelled. Roy blinked. How could they have noticed me? However, the turtles were still focused on the video game. Does that mean that one of these Koopas is named Roy, like me? That's going to be really awkward. Roy turned to the other side of the wall-and his heart nearly stopped.

There, in the other room, with the door wide open, was his best friend Marth. And he was making out with another newcomer. A male newcomer, to be more exact. The male newcomer appeared to be some kind of fallen angel who was thoroughly enjoying the make-out session. What…how…since when did Marth start dating? And, that too, with a guy! Roy hated to be one of "those people", but he knew that he had to do his duty as an utterly confused best friend. He took a deep breath and screamed "MARTH LOWELL, WHAT IN THE NAME OF NAGA IS GOING ON HERE?!"

Marth and his boyfriend jumped apart rather quickly. Now that Roy wasn't blinded with shock anymore he could see that Marth had grown his hair out. Marth hated having long hair, didn't he? But, thirteen years can change a fighter drastically… Marth cleared his throat in annoyance and put his hands to his hips. "Excuse me?" he huffed, in a slightly-higher-pitched voice than he remembered.

"Marth! It's me! Roy Eliwood! Your best friend from Melee! And why the heck are you kissing a guy?" Roy narrowed his eyes. Marth only growled. "I've never seen you before in my life." His boyfriend just stood to the side, giving Roy a glare that could shatter a diamond. "You…you don't remember me? But Mario told me that Master Hand said that you were so excited that I came back!" "Well, then, I think you heard wrong." Marth crossed his arms. Roy was speechless. After two minutes, he finally managed to murmur "Marth…what happened to make you so…harsh?"

"ROY! THERE YOU ARE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES!" Roy was then caught in a bone-crushing hug. "What…who's that?" Roy struggled out of the bear hug, and then turned around to face… "Marth?! How can you be in two places at once?" Roy looked between Long-Haired Marth and Normal Marth. He was getting more confused by the minute. Marth frowned. "What are you talking about?" "I came here to see my room…and then I saw you…making out with this angel dude." Roy stammered. Marth looked at Long-Haired Marth and smiled. "Oh, I see you've met Lucina! She's my descendant!"

"Wut?" Roy's head felt like a Bob-Omb; just about ready to explode. "It's a long story…" Marth sighed. He then turned to the dark angel. "And this here is Dark Pit. As you probably guessed from what you saw, he's her boyfriend." Dark Pit angrily grunted; Roy assumed that was the closest to a "Hi" that he would get from the fallen angel. Meanwhile, Lucina looked ready to chop him up.

Marth noticed the expressions on Lucina and Dark Pit's faces and sweat-dropped, obviously sensing danger. "Do you want to take me to your room? You can meet the other DLC characters as well- Lucas is quite excited to see what you're like, and you know how Mewtwo feels about your return!" Roy nodded- at this moment, all he wanted was to escape this awkward situation. And with that, Marth led Roy down the hall. Roy took one last look at Dark Pit and Lucina. The snarl-like expressions on their faces told Roy that they would be holding a heavy grudge against him for this.

I've just returned to the Mansion, and already I've made some new enemies. And one of them is my best friend's descendant. Naga help me…

Well, I'm finally done! I had a lot of fun taking advantage of the whole "Lucina was Marth at one point" joke and exploring a few of my Smash headcanons. So with that, I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you later!