A/N: Hey guys! Long time no see. I'm back with the story. So many things I have planned for the later chapters. I hope you guys don't hate me too much. I know it's been a while. I haven't had tons of time to write during the summer, only what I could. I will update it again with Barry's POV next. Please support my other stories in the mean time. I said I would update everything when I have the chance and I will. Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think of this? What do you want to see happen between them? Tons of Snowbarry feels in this one. Enjoy! Thanks all, bye! :)

Caitlin

I sat up, turning my body to Barry, facing him fully; even though my hair covered my eyes.

"This is gonna sound strange but I have a feeling you know me better than I do." I paused, unsure of my words as my eyes held onto his. "Is it?"

Barry smiled, looking down as I watched as he caught my stare. "No, it's not strange at all. I feel the same way. When I look at you I don't feel homesick anymore. I feel like I'm...home."

I smiled, not believing what I was hearing; he couldn't have meant me, right? "Really? It's just...you looked so happy where you were. You seemed like you wanted to go back. Your face, everything about you seemed so alive."

"I never felt more alive than I do right now." Barry admitted, his voice shaking. I almost couldn't believe this was happening right now.

I buried these feelings a while ago, not sure if I deserve to feel them again. Ronnie was the furthest thought, now it's all about Barry. Maybe this was different, I guess, for once I feel like I did deserve them after all.

A thousand thoughts were swirling around my mind but I only wanted to grab one and not let this moment slip me by. I looked into Barry's eyes and saw something I hadn't seen in Ronnie, even in our happiest moments together. I'm starting to think this was a risk, but that's what they say about life. Is the risk worth it? I gave him a look, my eyes couldn't help but glisten over as I watched him react, knowing the risk was making me believe again.

My eyes glassed over as Barry came closer to me, I was allowing him to. I moved with him and finding my rhythm. Everything was set in slow motion, our breathing raced together, keeping up with each other. I could feel and make out his heartbeats that were trying to keep up with my own. He was following my lead, as I came closer to his face, leaning my forehead gently over his, feeling that maybe, possibly, it was made to be there.

Barry moved first, he could sense I was petrified and tested the waters by pressing his lips to my forehead, down slowly to my right temple, feeling my face grow tense but relax as he took my hand in his, holding it in case he was afraid I'd leave suddenly. I could feel a sense of pure protection over the moment. I don't know…I just felt like he was giving me a part of himself that no one else gets to see.

Our breathing increased as Barry's movements suddenly ignited mine, I squeezed his hand back as my face came near his, brushing my cheekbone with his, finding my breath and taking my time.

"I do too, Barry, I do too..." I couldn't help but whisper against his lips; I could feel the promise behind those words. "I just want to feel safe."

He wanted to close the space between us and it was killing him to hold back, waiting for me to see what I'd do. I don't know about him, but I wanted this, god I wanted this so badly. Nothing else really made sense until right now, here, with him. I was waiting for this moment, somewhere in the middle of our journey, perhaps it was the moment I came to talk him. Somewhere, somehow, in the back of my mind I was steadily growing feelings for him. I tried to fight it but the temptation only gotten stronger the more I did. I wanted to embrace this feeling now.

Barry slightly smiled, feeling the moment, taking a deep breath as I hung onto his words.

"Caitlin, you're safe, you're safe with me," he said gently, my entire world melted as I pressed my lips over his.

I just couldn't handle not knowing, not feeling this moment further. Boy did I take it much further than I planned. Barry didn't seem to mind at all. Soft moans and purring was heard as I took them all as we passionately kissed each other.

I had no idea he and I would melt so perfectly. You hear of these things, and read about them in stories, but you never think it would or could happen to you. Barry is answering all of my dreams. Everything I thought was impossible, he made a reality. I cupped his face when his hand came to my cheek, I didn't realize my breathing was trying to keep up with our stamina. We were in the moment so deeply we both had to catch our breath.

I found myself leaning against his forehead again; he came in for another soft kiss. Before I could draw in another breath the back of his hand gently brushed my cheekbone, I could feel he wanted to take this further, of course, but I didn't know if I was going there, god I think way too much. All this thinking and I—wait—what was that?

I pulled back with wide eyes, looking at Barry.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I-I—" I stammered but found my voice, "I think I heard something."

Barry narrowed his eyes, looking around the living room and peeked his head out to the door that led to the double garage.

"I swear I didn't hear anything, are you sure you heard it?" Barry asked me as if he didn't believe me. He stood up abruptly.

"Shit," he swore, closing his eyes. "I hear it opening." He looked from the garage to me, as I held a perplexed expression on my face. "It's my mom."

That word alone jolted me right up along with him. "Oh, OK, umm, what do we do?"

Barry rubbed the back of his head, smiling as he kissed me quickly, "Wait here, wait, no, OK, go up to my room. You can bring this too," he gestured to the uneaten pizza on the coffee table, "with you. I'll meet you up."

He paused a second and came in for another kiss, slowly pulling away as I watched him run directly to the garage area. I thought fast and brought up the box upstairs. Wait—which room was it? OK Barry forgot to tell me. This was a fun game, surely. I rolled my eyes and snuck out peering into the room on my right, it definitely looked like a jock's pad but it had some other style that didn't quite fit. I came inside quickly and shut the door behind as I placed the box on what looked like a stationary desk.

Everything looked plain and navy blue. It was the typical color I'd expect him to infatuate with, even down to the sheets and pillow. His room walls were covered in quotes what looked like meme but actually up close they were strippings of an older collectable set. I smiled slightly tracing the bottom of one of the frames that hung near Barry's bed. It was a longer quote, probably from someone he admired. I made the assumption that he may have looked at this particular quote often. I could see why.

"Hey! Sorry about that." Barry came in as I jumped, trying to mask my reaction.

He looked at me for a moment, I don't know if he thought I was snooping or trying to find dirt on him. I guess I let that go a while ago. Maybe things have changed, are they changing? It feels that way…

"Yeah, so, if it's not obvious, I like blue." Barry said, breaking the ice.

"You don't say?" My sarcastic reply came.

Barry rolled his eyes at me playfully. "So...yeah, so my mom just came back because she wants to know if I was with a girl."

I gulped; the pink was hitting my cheeks before I could control it. "Oh? What'd you tell her?"

Barry shrugged and casually leaned against his desk, crossing his arms as his eyes scaled to meet mine slowly. "I told her, indeed, I am, no need to lie, right? Not like we're doing anything wrong here."

I found myself laughing as I pushed against his chest only to have his mouth get dangerously close to my mine. He was teasing me and part of me liked it, he was speaking against my lips, feeling his breath fan over me. He wanted to kiss me again, I could tell, truth is I wanted to also.

"I didn't plan this...Barry."

"I know. Maybe we want this though. Do you want this? Do want more?"

Oh, that question...the fact that he was asking me that made me feel torn between answers. It should be so easy right? He's inches from me, waiting for me to tell him how I'm feeling. As much as I wanted to do this, something in the pit of my stomach made me shy away slightly. I pulled away slowly; biting my lip, as I painfully looked at him while he gave me a concerned expression. Did I really want this?

"I-I don't know...I don't know Barry."

Barry gulped, he was hurt, I don't blame him. He probably thought I was wasting his time or something. Maybe all this is just too intense for me to handle.

Everything just seemed so awkward, Barry was acting strange, I didn't think things would turn this way. I also didn't think I'd feel this strongly for someone I'd gotten to know.

"Maybe we should just get to work on the project, yeah, that's probably good for both of us. My mom's here anyway..."

I was crushed he didn't want to at least talk about it. Maybe he lost a bet with someone, god I hope it wasn't Ronnie. My brows remained tense and rigid, I didn't like this atmosphere. I feel like I needed some air, maybe some space between us. I had to get rid of these scenarios.

I stood up, hesitating as I did so, unsure of what the hell I was doing or what he was going to say to me next but I did it anyway. I walked to the door and placed my hand on the handle.

"Wait, Caitlin..."

My heart stopped for a long moment. I didn't realize my lungs weren't working until I felt him come closer to me. I didn't have to turn; I knew he was standing right behind me, thinking about what to say next.

"I didn't mean what I said. It's just; this came as a surprise to me to. I don't even know what I'm saying right now, I don't want you to leave. I brought you here because I wanted to. I could sense something bothering you. I don't want to force you to tell me, but if you want to talk I'm here. Don't think that you're alone, I want us to talk, I don't want awkwardness between us now that, we—"

"...kissed?" I finished in a small voice.

I turned around slowly, the intensity almost melted away and my fears were nearly gone. He wasn't like everyone else. I could actually share things with him, my personal things, what was really going on. What I've been hiding, even from Cisco.

"I know things are weird now but are you sure you don't want me to go? You said your mom is here and—"

Barry reached across my waist, taking the handle and closing the door firmly, locking it with a clink.

"I want you to stay, Cait...please." He almost begged me.

I sighed and nodded slowly as he gave a small smile as we sat on his bed and dove into the pizza. I didn't really know to start so I just picked a topic.

Ronnie.

Taking a deep breath, I began telling Barry what really happened, why we're both not on the same page.

"It started last spring leading into summer," I paused and watched Barry as he listened to me intently, urging me to go on.

"I won't speak, go ahead." He said, taking a bite out of his piece, staring my way in waiting.

I placed my slice to the side, realizing I'm going to need most of my strength to tell the real story.

"Well, everything started out fine, things were mutual, you know? Then, oh god, I wish I would have seen the signs more clearly. We actually knew each other from junior high. He was the comic book geek and I was a tech nerd. We bonded over trivial things, at first we were good friends. Then all of a sudden, we just grew up, I don't know how that happened. I had already met Cisco when I was a Freshman here. We knew each other from back when. He was really cool, showed me around, we shared stuff, but it was never awkward or weird between us. Then he met Ronnie and hated him right away. He said he'd get along with him for me but I could tell it was hard. Cisco was telling me about how often he saw Ronnie hanging out with the new crowds, the jocks, his whole persona changed. He wound up joining the track team and made MVP. I was so proud of him and then, he asked me out. At first I was feeling strange about it. I thought it was just a harmless date, nothing to worry about." I paused to drink some soda Barry brought with him.

Barry's eyes were laser focused on me. I felt red under his gaze but I opted to finish the story.

"We started going together after that. It didn't feel so weird after a while. Even Cisco eventually stopped making mocking faces whenever he'd show up. We were all really close. And I didn't think it'd end. That's when I found out who Ronnie really was. There was a dance. Of course Ronnie asked me to go with him and I did. I really did feel weird when I was around his new friends. I felt like he was a completely different person around them then he was around me when we were alone. It always felt like he had something to prove, someone to impress. I think he really wanted to be popular over who I thought he really was. I never fought with him over it but that night, I wanted to say something, I almost did until one of his friends started telling me he was using me, he just wanted to screw me over in the end. I was scared to question it and I wanted to tell them they didn't know him like I did but all I did was go outside. I realized I was all alone because Cisco didn't want to go. I really needed a friend in that moment to talk to. I—"

Barry watched as my head dipped down. I picked myself back up and resumed.

"I didn't see it coming. I asked Ronnie to take me home and he did. He actually interrupted what he was doing to take me back. The ride was silent; I didn't even want to hear the radio. When we were a few blocks to my door, he gave me a big hug and I could remember him trying to make out with me. I told him no and he almost didn't listen but I could tell he was pissed. I told him to understand that I just want to go home. Then he said I was being dramatic. I left without another word before I said or did something that got me grounded. I chose to just slam the door and stomp back, trying not to cry. My parents asked me how I was and I remember walking up to my room thinking this is one of the worst days of my life. What I realized when I got back was everything his friend said about him was true and I didn't want to see it. Ronnie was a liar and I wanted him to be everything but."

I swallowed heavily, realizing I left some end parts out but I wanted to know if I still had Barry's attention. He placed his hand over mind, holding it gently as I concluded the story.

"I never even got an apology from him, nothing. He used to come up to my window when I was feeling awful and comfort me. None of it happened. I prepared myself for the worst tomorrow. I knew I had to go to school, face the music. When I was walking to my locker I saw a condom taped to it, with a note saying "hope you used protection slut." My face went white. I didn't know if I wanted to die or, I didn't have another option. If I ran back home my parents, my father, they'd kill me, if I faced the rest of the school I would be the laughing stalk. I could never forget the look on Ronnie's face when he friends came at me accusing me of such vile things. He knew what this would do to me and he did it anyway. I ignored him the rest of the summer. I haven't forgotten it since and I will never forgive him."

An entire weight felt like it had been lifted, I didn't realize I had my eyes to the ground as I spoke the last words. I looked up and watched his reaction.

Barry glanced at me, coming to sit close to me, putting his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Cait, I'm so sorry." He said gently, I just let him hug me, if anything I pulled him closer.

I felt like I was griping his back for dear life. I didn't want to hurt him so I pulled away slightly, gaining my composure. I had cried over thinking about this story so many times, if I was tearing up I would have never noticed. Barry just watched me, moving stranding of my hair from my face. He was trying to comfort me and that is all I needed right now.

For once, I just wanted to feel safe. Being here with Barry, I never wanted to leave his side, not now, not ever.