A/N: Yay! You found my new story! It's a Songfic inspired by When in Rome's 'The Promise.' Also inspired by Beedle the Bard's 'The Warlock's Hairy Heart'. I guess you can throw some 10 Things I Hate About You/Beauty and the Beastish feels in here as well...but basically The Promise is what set this one off. Votes make me happy, Reviews make me happier! I hope you all enjoy!

...

"You really think anyone would love a greasy git such as yourself?" Lucius snorted, "Face it, Severus. You're beyond any hope, old, ugly, and your personality is as charming as a troll in captivity."

"Ouch, Lucius. That was a little uncalled for, don't you think?" Severus grinned in jest. He'd heard it all before, Lucius being the first one to remind him in any situation of his celibate and loner life. He grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey as Lucius slid it across the table, his fingers sweeping at him, a silent order to drink more. He was in one of his jovial moods, whatever turned it on this time hadn't been brought up, but seeing as Severus had no other plans for the night, let Lucius talk him into visiting the pub. It wasn't long before Narcissa had found them, Draco following closely behind. Severus had been hoping for just a guy's night of only Lucius and him, but had no room to protest. If his wife and son had wanted to be present, it was Lucius' greatest honor to have them by his side.

"Your mother would be disappointed." Lucius said. "Look at you, nearing your prime years, you should be settled down, enjoying a family."

"You leave my mother out of this." Severus said, using the finger of the hand that held his glass to point at him.

"And you leave him alone." Narcissa added, slapping Lucius' arm lightly. "The poor guy knows what he wants."

"I'm only suggesting he experience love before its from a Medi-Witch in a retirement home visiting for his weekly bath." Lucius said in defense. He filled his glass again and settled back into his booth, wrapping his arm around Narcissa and kissed her temple quickly. "In all honesty, I'm actually surprised no witch has taken advantage of you yet-"

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Lucius raised a hand and continued before he had a chance.

"-now hear me out, you're name isn't unheard of in our world, surely an Order of Merlin First Class has brought you some suitors, has it not? Despite your lanky appearance, you aren't repulsive, your ingenious is intoxicating and I'm sure you have a hopeless romantic heart waiting to present itself somewhere within your drab wardrobe."

"Unlike yourself, my fame in this world is not what drives me, nor will it be the deciding factor of who I decide to woo when, and if that time comes, and furthermore," Severus raised an eyebrow, "I could easily land a wife within the year of it's in my interest."

"Could you now?" Lucius' face lit up, he leaned forward, pulling Narcissa with him.

"Indeed I could." Severus stated matter-of-factly . He threw back the liquid in his glass, smacked the empty glass on the table, and noticed that Lucius had drawn his wand. He eyed it with curiosity, noticing Narcissa had covered her eyes with a tight hand and shook her head slightly.

"Lucius, just let him be." She mumbled, dropping her hand to her mouth. He paid her no attention, only pointed his wand directly at Severus.

"Would you make a promise-No! A secret promise, that within a year, you will find a wife so that maybe I can get some sleep at night without having to worry about your lonely future?"

"Severus, you don't have to do this." Narcissa added. Severus looked from her, back to Lucius.

"If the promise is broken?"

"Then you shall court my neighbor."

Severus thought of the new family who had taken the lot just north of him a few months ago. He had only seen them upon visiting the Manor, and had been under the impression that the couple had been married. Lucius seemed to note his confusement and specified.

"Peesy."

Severus' face fell. Draco snorted in laughter and Lucius nodded.

"Dorine Peesy."

Dorine had lived alone in the lot next to Lucius since before he had taken it over. She was too skinny, wore pants that cut off above the ankles with the most ghastly socks anyone had ever seen, her shoes squeaked, her hair was stringy and always in a bun, her skin looked infested with Dragon Boils and for the lack of a better term, smelled of old lady though she was only a decade older than him. He'd sooner consider Trelawney a suitable life partner than her.

"What do you say? If you're so certain you can whisk some lucky lady off her feet in a year, this should be no contest."

"Severus." Narcissa looked at him sadly, knowing already that she couldn't talk him out of it. Draco had settled down into a giggling fit, watching everything happen. Severus pulled his wand and crossed it with Lucius'.

"I promise that within a year I will find a wife." Severus said.

"...Or..." Lucius egged him on. Severus took a shaky breath.

"...Or I will persue Dorine Peesy."

Their wands vibrated, glowing in a bright pure light that illuminated their whole table before flashing out quickly. The promise was made, and though breaking it wouldn't lead to death, it would make the latter part true no matter how hard he would try to resist. Pocketing their wands, Lucius filled four glasses and raised it.

"May you succeed!" He toasted. Severus only sipped this drink unlike Lucius and Draco who had slapped theirs back with purpose.

"Who will the lucky woman be?" Lucius mused. "Has your list changed at all since our childhood? Smart, red hair? Resembling Lily in the most ridiculous of ways?"

"Preferable." Severus nodded. "But believe it or not, I have accepted her death and prefer to not speak of it."

"Lily?" Draco asked, inching closer to the table. Severus shot him a warning look, but Lucius explained.

"Believe it or not, our dear Severus had it quite bad for a Gryffindor."

Severus' eyes flashed dangerously as Lucius spoke. Draco pressed for his father to continue, but a heavy elbow shove into his ribs had him changing the subject quite quickly. Severus shot Narcissa a thankful look.

"So this list. What does it consist of now?"

"She'd have to be intelligent." Narcissa spoke. Lucius nodded in agreement.

"Indeed." Severus attuned. "Intelligent, beauty that would make any man envious, and I would hope she could afford her own weight. I don't expect to be the sole bread maker, she'd have to work just as hard as I do."

"Certainly. There's nothing more attractive than a woman who can hold her own. What about purity? I think she should be full-blooded, it would add deeper concentrations of great magic for your offspring."

"That would not matter. As long as she had wit and brains enough to match with mine, we'd do just fine raising the next generation of respected wizards."

"Sounds like your expectations are quite high." Narcissa said. "Are you sure you can find such a witch and marry her in a year?"

Snape inhaled a large breath, held it for a count of three then let it out slowly.

"I'll have to start looking." He said. "Hard."

Draco spoke, listing off the attributes on his fingers as he went over them again.

"Beauty, brains, bloodline doesn't matter...you know who you just described?" He smirked, watching as Severus shook his head. "Hermione Granger."