All storylines and characters in this story that bear a resemblance to the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. Everything else in this story belongs to me. No copying or reproduction of this work (or any part thereof) is permitted without my express written authorisation.

A/N: I have had this one kicking around in my head for almost the same amount of time as BaB. I promised myself I would try and finish an original story before I got stuck into this, but my muse is demanding I put pen to paper now – and who am I to argue? This is a very different fic from BaB and takes place after the end of Breaking Dawn. It is (reasonably) canon compliant, but more angst-ridden.

Suggested listening: "Open Season" by Jospeh Salvat, "Like I Can" by Sam Smith and "If I had a heart" by Fever Ray.

1. Love Lost

It started with the slightest of touches: the back of his hand brushing lightly against her knee as they sat side by side at a bonfire.

She didn't say anything because a certain amount of contact was inevitable when you were trying to squish a bunch of gigantic werewolves on log-seats that had not been fashioned with the supernatural in mind. That and it felt kind of nice.

By the end of the night, she was certain that the stroking was not accidental. His fingers had definitely moved the tiniest bit higher and while they were pressed firmly against her thigh, there was an obvious gap stretching between them and the rest of him. He was reaching out to her.

Still she didn't say anything, and still she didn't know why.

It set the precedent for every shape-shifter function to come. They always seemed to find themselves adjacent to one another and, even when he wasn't patting her in some way, she could taste the space between them.

She wanted to ask him what he was playing at, but the ship had sailed on that one. She hadn't done that the first time and she knew that raising the subject now would mean a discussion about all the other times it had happened with her tacit consent (albeit a lack of active participation).

She was pretty sure he wasn't trying to get into her pants. She was fucking Jacob and everyone knew she was fucking Jacob (supernatural senses meant nothing much was left to their imagination), but still something simmered secretly in the shadows.

Jacob didn't seem to notice the unusual connection hanging between his Beta and another pack mate. It was unlikely that he ever would with his precocious imprint always demanding his attention.

Leah was still a little fuzzy on how Jacob was able to be attracted to her even after imprinting, but he assured her that he most definitely was, and all the physical signs seemed to confirm it. In the circumstances, she wasn't going to get too hung up on details. She was a hot blooded wolf, not a nun, and she was tired of being lonely. The Cullens seemed pretty zen about the whole thing. She'd thought Edward might go all Victorian control-freak on her and claim that she was horning in on the spirit-ordained betrothal that was holding their freaky allegiance together, but he'd actually warmed to her after he'd gotten wind of her relationship with her Alpha. The only people who had voiced concerns were Bella and Sam. Naturally.

Bella claimed she didn't want there to be any drama in a few years time when Nessie matured, but Leah knew better. The girl had gotten used to being the most important person in Jacob's life, and even married and with a child she couldn't fathom him with another lover. Things were definitely going to be interesting when Jacob and Nessie finally did get together. Leah would pay good money to hear how Bella and Jacob explained their previous relationship to her daughter and his soul mate. Yuck.

Sam was harder to understand. He had left Leah for her cousin, Emily, and was soon to be married, so why he was getting his knickers in a knot over who Leah bumped uglies with was a mystery. He and Jacob had come to blows on more than one occasion and the hurt look on Emily's face seemed to be the only thing keeping him in line. Leah reasoned that the two-Alpha situation was an anomaly and they were both bound to be looking for things to snipe over. If it wasn't her, it would have been something equally trivial.

With all the weird emotions swirling around, Leah didn't think twice when Jacob told her he was leaving La Push and asked her to go with him.

A one way ticket away from all the crazy bullshit? Yes, please!

The Cullens had been in Forks for two years before Bella's arrival and another two years since then. People were bound to start asking questions about Carlisle looking like he'd had more botox than Joan Rivers, let alone the fast-growing midget that was permanently attached to either Edward, Jacob or Bella.

Jacob gave his whole pack the choice, but Leah was the only one who agreed to go with the vampires. The rest were being transferred back to Sam like library books.

Leah would rather walk over hot coals than be back under Sam's thumb.

The date was fixed and she packed her meagre possessions. She was sad to be leaving her Mom and Seth, but Sue had Charlie and her brother was probably the most popular person she knew. It was Leah who had nothing but bad memories and heartache in every corner of the Olympic Peninsula. Still, she loved the land - her people's land – and in her final morning in Washington she found herself going on one last stroll through the forest that she had come to know on four legs just as well as she did on two.

She savoured the way the sunlight pushed through the thick canopy, the smell of the earth beneath her feet and the way the moss tickled her toes.

"You don't have to do this, you know," a familiar voice interrupted her exploration.

Her shoulders tensed. Surely he wasn't picking now for the chat they had always avoided? "Do what?" She settled for acting dumb and hoped he would take a leaf out of her playbook.

"You don't have to run away with Jacob just because you don't want to be in a pack with Sam."

She glared at him. "Actually, I sort of do. I tried running off on my own plenty of times, but the spirits seem to think that non-Alphas need to belong to someone. I'm choosing the guy who didn't fuck my cousin before he dumped me, the guy who didn't then continue to shove the whole fiasco in my face at every possible opportunity."

Her usual abrasiveness didn't faze him. It never had. He looked at her with those warm brown eyes, so full of understanding and affection and Leah felt every bit the bitch that she knew they all called her behind her back.

"I know what it's like to feel unwanted, Leah. Believe me – but I'm not suggesting you go back to Sam. You can be in Jacob's pack without physically following him and the Cullens. Stay. Please."

The way he said 'please' made something twist inside of her. This was why she had been steering clear of him. He stepped closer to her, stretching his hand out. She wanted to move away but his eyes had locked her in place. They both felt her heart stutter as he tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear.

"You're selling yourself short with Jacob," he murmured.

Leah bristled. "Everyone's got a fucking opinion, don't they?"

He shrugged. "Probably, but in this situation I'd bet that most have the same one. You deserve to have someone's whole heart Leah, not just dregs from a guy who's usually otherwise occupied."

"So young and naive," Leah ribbed him, trying not to think about the fact that he was actually a few months older than her boyfriend. "I'm perfectly satisfied with Jake. He gives me what I need." Why couldn't anyone understand that? She didn't want hearts and flowers and promises. Sam had given her plenty of those and look where that had gotten her. She preferred Jacob's down to earth nature and it didn't bother her in the slightest that their relationship had a use-by date of a little more than six years. It was a relief to have clearly defined parameters to work within. Structure. Order. Everything else in her life was chaos.

Still, those eyes were boring holes into her and she saw something else – a fire burning under the surface. Usually he seemed fairly easygoing, but today was clearly an exception.

"He'll never love you like I can, Leah." He traced a thumb across her cheek.

She snorted at his declaration as she batted his hand away and she didn't miss the hurt that flashed across his face in response. "Until you imprint, right?"

He groaned. "You said once that you know you're not gonna. It's the same with me. I feel it in my bones. 'Sides, isn't it better to make a go of it with someone who hasn't imprinted? We'd be no different from any other human couple. Why would you resign yourself to someone who has?"

"I'm not resigning myself to anything and who I sleep with is none of your business," she said through gritted teeth.

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "It feels like my business. I don't wanna keep doing this dance with you where you let yourself confuse my patience with indifference. I just need to make myself clear before you go and do something so... final."

Leah's chest tightened painfully. How did he know? She'd told everyone else that she'd come back for visits and then to stay after she finished College, but she didn't really mean it.

This was it for her.

As if he sensed her slipping away, he grabbed her face in his palms, moving closer so that she could feel his breath tickling her nose. For a moment she thought he might try and kiss her, but he seemed to think better of it, watching her closely. She would later realise that he was memorising every inch of her features.

They stood there for just a few minutes, but to Leah it felt endless. He smelled good and he was actually really easy on the eye. For a second she wondered if he was right. Maybe this Jacob business was ridiculous and hasty.

She tore her gaze away from his, shaking her head in confusion. She had decided. Why was he making it so hard?

"I don't want you," she barked. "Why can't you get a clue?"

The expression on his face would haunt her for years to come. She ripped his heart out and stomped all over it for good measure. He dropped his hands, taking a step back. Leah stared at the ground in shame. She hadn't meant to be so harsh, but he kept pushing her and it was unbearable.

"Be happy, Leah." His voice was little more than a whisper on the wind and by the time she raised her head he was gone.

~~~TAC~~~

She almost ran after him. Almost. She'd hunted big game ever since she'd phased, but for the first time in her life she actually felt like she had killed Bambi. Those eyes. What had she done?

A twig snapped from behind her and she turned to face the very last person she wanted to see.

"Sam," she said curtly. Only in La Push would a walk in the woods lead to more social interactions than going to the grocery store.

"LeeLee," he replied, his voice thick with emotion.

"Don't," she objected, raising her hand to stop him from coming closer. "One of the best things about going is that I won't have listen to you pestering me with a nickname I don't want to hear."

He growled, black eyes blazing with anger. "If you think I'm going to let Jacob snatch you from under my nose and cart you off with a coven of vampires you must be crazy. I won't allow it."

Leah cackled. "What you will or won't allow means shit-all when it comes to me Sammy, and you know it. Besides, the Cullens are my friends – which is more than I can say for you." Leah tried to hide her own surprise at the words that had escaped from her mouth. She'd never described the Cullens as her friends before, although she had a lot of time for Rosalie and her husband. Some of the nicknames Rose had for the pack (including Jacob), made Leah almost wet herself laughing.

"Friends," Sam repeated, looking at her like she was speaking another language.

"Yes Sam, friends. They are my friends and Jacob is my friend. People go places with friends and that is what I am doing. Today." She started moving back towards her house, but he jutted a hand out, blocking her exit through the narrow path.

"Jacob is your 'friend'?"

Leah laughed again. "Absolutely. With benefits. The friendship comes first and the benefits second, but sometimes with Jake's stamina they also come third, fourth and fifth." It felt good to rub it in his face, all the more so because Jake was the real Alpha and Sam was just a pretender.

"STOP," Sam hissed, pushing Leah against a tree, trapping her with his body weight.

"Your Alpha voice doesn't mean anything to me," Leah taunted. "Just like you."

It was a lie. No matter how much he hurt her, there was a portion of Leah's heart that was reserved only for Sam. He was her first everything. She accepted that that part of her life was over now, but her time with Sam was the happy days, the pre-wolf existence where her Dad was still alive and Emily was still her best friend.

"I didn't stop loving you just because I imprinted," Sam confessed.

This was not news to Leah, although it was the first time he had ever said it out loud.

"Stay," he pleaded, placing a light kiss on her lips.

"Are you crazy?" she spat. "Get the fuck off me before I tell your imprint that you woke up on the rapey side of the bed. Since when did I ever seem like someone's bit on the side to you?"

He stepped back so that his torso was no longer touching hers, but his arms still boxed her in. "I'm not trying to... I would never... I wouldn't do that to Emily...I just want you to be safe."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Sam. The only thing that's ever put me at real risk of harm is you. Being near you makes me want to kill myself."

Sam's jaw dropped. "You don't mean that."

"I'm pretty sure you've spent enough time sharing headspace with me to know I do."

With that, she brought her knee up as hard as she could, striking Sam in the groin. He fell to the ground and she stepped over him quickly, hurrying back home. By the time she'd arrived, the shock of her encounter with Sam had seeped through and she was pale and shaky.

"You okay?" Seth asked her when she reached their backyard.

"Sure, sure," she said, uttering the catch phrase that she had picked up from Jacob. "Just had a miserable run-in in the forest. Boy am I glad to be getting out of here!"

It never occurred to Leah to specify that the incident that had her looking nauseas was the one with Sam, nor did she stop to realise that within days her words would be shared by the whole pack. If she had taken the time to consider that, she would have made things clearer to avoid him from experiencing more pain. Those big brown eyes were sad enough without her adding to his woes.

~~~TAC~~~

Life with the Cullens was simple, as was her relationship with Jake. He was a big sweaty mass of man, but he had a rocking body and a happy-go-lucky disposition that made him easy to get along with.

Leah enrolled in College with Rosalie and got to experience the life that had been on hold from the moment she had first shifted. Bella and Edward picked a different university and Jacob stayed home with Renesmee. There was no way the little hybrid could attend any kind of school while she was still growing so quickly and Jacob was only too happy to fill his days with child-friendly activities. He was a big kid himself. When Bella and Edward got home from their classes they wanted to have family time with their daughter and that freed Jacob up to spend time with Leah. The Cullens had even rented a separate neighbouring house for the wolves, with Esme mindful of their need for privacy as well as the "smell factor" that affected them all, no matter how much they pretended it didn't.

At first she spoke to Seth on the phone every week. He was often tense and she worried about what Sam was doing as Alpha. She even considered breaking her pledge to herself and popping back to La Push for a quick visit. Luckily, at about the six month mark, Seth seemed much more at peace and Leah reasoned that whatever teething issues they initially had were fixed. Sometimes when she chatted to him she would try and fish for news about him. For some reason, Seth spoke about everyone else, but never the sweet boy with the big brown eyes. He told her trivial things about Sam, Paul and Jared. He even updated her on Charlie Swan, but he never named him and Leah didn't want to ask specifically, so she was left to wonder. In any event, the time between their calls became more and more spread out and irregular. They were living different lives and Leah was desperate to leave her previous one behind.

A year went by, then two and Leah felt herself finally relaxing. Her wolf adored Jacob and even though she repeatedly told herself that he was "Mr Right now", not "Mr Right", her attachment to him grew as time passed. He told her a few times that he loved her but she never said it back to him and eventually asked him not to say it anymore. Despite her silence, by end of her third and final year of study, Leah was undeniably in something very much like love with Jacob Black – and more than that – she was happy.

Then everything went wrong.

In her fourth year with the Cullens, Renesemee, who was physically five years old and looked around fifteen, was deemed old enough to start high school. Her aging had stopped being something out of a horror movie and was now mimicking normal adolescence. Naturally, Jacob wanted to go with her and the Cullens decided to dummy-up papers that put them both in tenth grade.

Leah couldn't understand why Jacob would want to go through his sophomore year again (although given that he flunked out the first time, it probably wasn't the worst idea), but the difficult part was that they were now on completely different schedules. She had an office job and was busy all day. He now had homework which he wanted to do at night.

With his gal pal, Renesmee.

At first they stayed their usual buddy-buddy selves. Jacob still came to her bed at night and their bond seemed unaffected by the change in routine, but slowly, slowly things began to dissolve.

Renesmee began giving Jacob shy glances when she thought no one was looking.

Leah noticed. A girlfriend notices things like that.

The worst part was when she started to see Jacob giving them in return.

She had thought they might have a little more time, but she was about to get the shaft in a big way and she didn't want to stick around and wait for Jacob to have to ask her to leave. It was bad enough that she was losing Jacob, she didn't want to be completely humiliated in the process.

The final trigger was a flyer for the upcoming school dance left carelessly by Jacob on his bedside table. He was going with Renesmee.

Leah didn't want to be waiting on the other side of the door when he and the hybrid returned and had to awkwardly navigate whether they would have their first kiss, didn't want him to come home stinking of his imprint because they'd spent all night slow-dancing together, so she did the thing that she'd always known she would have to do (but was somehow completely unprepared for): early one morning, with the briefest of farewell notes, she left.

~~~TAC~~~

She stayed off the grid because she didn't want Jasper to track her down. She suspected after so many years with the Cullens, they wouldn't let a small thing like being traded in for a younger model excuse Leah from their group. She didn't want to argue her case with them, so she stayed wolf as much as possible, roaming through the wilds of Alaska and Canada. She drifted aimlessly, careful to make sure she phased back to her human form once the classes Jacob shared with Renesmee were over. She knew he'd never bail on those and she used her thorough knowledge of his schedule to avoid ever being in a position where he could order her back to him.

In darker moments she wondered if that was entirely unnecessary because he most likely hadn't given her a second thought since she disappeared. That was the nature of the imprint, the more Nessie wanted, the less there was left over for Leah.

She tried ringing Seth once when she veered too close to civilisation and happened upon a payphone. A strange woman had answered the call. Leah actually thought she might have dialled the wrong number, but when she asked for her brother there was a lot of yelling. "Just a sec, I'm with Vic," Seth had hollered in the background. It sounded like the whole pack was at her house and Leah suddenly didn't want to have a conversation with wolf ears listening in. She hung up before Seth could pick up the receiver.

She wasn't part of that world anymore.

After six months she stopped worrying about when she phased. She spent all her time running as a wolf. She could see now why Jacob had done this for weeks on end. It was liberating to give everything up to the inner animal. Her mind felt clearer, less anxious. Yes, she'd been unlucky in love – again - but she had chosen that and now she was free.

By the time she ran into the other wolf and his pack, she had stopped marking days and locations altogether. Her ears pricked and she kept her nose low to the ground as she sniffed at the trail of something decidedly two-natured. With her speed she soon caught up to the creature, only to be faced with the biggest canine she had ever seen. His fur was as white as snow and she let out a small whine of surprise as he morphed into his human form right before her.

He was easily seven feet tall and made of muscle. He had blonde hair that was closely shaved on either side, with a long braid made of the locks that sat in the middle of his scalp. His blonde beard was tied at the end and he was covered in tattoos.

He was speaking to her but she didn't understand the language. He tried another tongue and French before he started on English.

"Come now, I show you mine, surely you can show me yours," the voice teased.

"Gunnar, she doesn't have clothes. Perhaps if you turned around while I gave her a blanket?"

Leah eyed the girl in shock, sniffing again to check what she had sensed. Another female wolf! Realising that she might never have another chance like this, she phased in full view of the large male and his much less intimidating, but equally blonde companion.

"I could tell from the way you moved your head that English was the right choice," the girl said as she handed Leah a long woven cloth. "I am Eira and this is Gunnar."

"I'm Leah," the Quileute said quietly, focussing on Eira but noticing from the corner of her eye that Gunnar had shamelessly ogled her before she'd been able to fully swaddle herself in the blanket.

"It has been a long time since I met a wolf not of my own kin," Gunnar said. He spoke formally and with an odd accent.

"I'm not from around here," Leah mumbled

"I can see." Gunnar responded. "Won't you join us for a drink? The rest of my people are hunting but I am making camp here."

That was how Leah came to have makeshift tea with an unclothed man who resembled a norse god. They sat across from one another, with Eira hovering in the background. Her form was covered by a long muslin tunic, but neither her feet or dress made a sound as she moved.

"How long have you been a wolf, Leah?" Gunnar regarded her intently. His eyes were a pale green and they twinkled as he spoke. Leah could tell instantly that he was trouble – the exact sort of trouble that she would make friends with if she wasn't careful.

"Around five years, maybe? I'm not exactly sure what day or month it is anymore."

Gunnar laughed. "Neither am I. I measure by life by the seasons." He paused, "But how old were you when your body embraced the wolf?"

Leah hid a smile. She really liked the way Gunnar spoke. It was like she'd travelled back in time. "I was almost nineteen when I first phased."

Gunnar looked surprised.

"Is that strange?" she asked.

"It's a little older than I would expect for your first time," Gunnar admitted, "But it is not unheard of. I am sure you know by now that anything is possible."

Leah realised that she was giving away far more information than she was getting. "How old are you?" she asked.

"I have seen more than a thousand winters," Gunnar said proudly, "And I was fourteen when I first embraced my wolf."

Leah nearly choked on her tea. "You're more than a thousand years old?"

Gunnar nodded. "The world changes but the wolf doesn't".

Leah swallowed. She was having tea with a nudist Viking who'd had more than five bicentenaries. It was times like this she wished she still had friends so that she could share the oddity of the situation with someone.

"And why are you alone, Leah?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

As charming as he was, something about his question set the hairs at the back of her neck on end. "I'm not alone," she lied. "I've gone for a run, but I'll be heading home soon."

Gunnar smiled. "And where is home?"

Leah was stumped. She no longer knew how to answer that question.

"Gunnar, you scare her," Eira chided, mistaking Leah's confusion for wariness.

"It's okay," Leah interjected, determined to get back on the front foot. "You're the Alpha?" she asked Gunnar.

"Alpha?" he repeated.

"Yeah. The boss, the big kahuna, the leader."

His mischievous smirk was back. "Oh yes. For my group of twelve, I am the chief."

"How many women do you have in your group?" Leah pressed.

Gunnar's gaze flicked to Eira before settling back on Leah. "Just one. As you are probably aware, female wolves are rare unless there is an army necessary to fight the Draugr."

"Draugr?"

"You call them vampires," Eira explained, topping up their glasses.

"How many women do you have in your group?" Gunnar asked, leaning forward.

That nervous feeling prickled in Leah's stomach again. Gunnar was scary in his intensity. "Just me."

"Just you?" Gunnar stroked his beard thoughtfully. "And yet your leader let you go off on your own?"

"He's got an imprint to manage. I'm not high on the priority list right now," Leah was unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

"Imprint?" Eira enquired.

Leah bit her lip. "Yeah an imprint is like a mate, the other half of your soul."

Eira and Gunnar shared a look. "Your leader did not take you for a mate?" Eira came to sit next to her, obviously curious.

Leah scowled. The last thing she wanted to be doing right now was discussing her tragic love life.

"Forgive my intrusion," Eira went on. "It's just that we are so unusual - Gunnar and I – in that we never mated."

Leah raised an eyebrow. Why exactly was that weird? Gunnar was good looking, but he was also plenty creepy. If that didn't do it for Eira, Leah couldn't really blame her.

Eira interpreted Leah's gesture as an invitation to continue. "As the leading female, my place is traditionally by Gunnar's side... but before we all embraced the wolf, I was very much in love with Gunnar's younger brother, Bjarke. Out of respect for Bjarke, Gunnar never pressed his claim. It is a little odd, but as Gunnar and I will never be beholden to mate-magic it was a choice we were able to make. I worried that the gods would use their magic to select another for Bjarke, but we have lived a very isolated existence to avoid that very outcome."

Leah gaped at Eira, trying to make sense of what she was saying. The words swum in circles around her head over and over until she finally found a way to filter them.

"I think what you call mate-magic is what we call 'imprinting'. It happens the first time a wolf sees his predestined mate. After that, she is the only thing that matters and he would do anything for her." Even leave a fiancé or spend an endless amount of time in high school.

Eira crinkled her brow. "Yes. That is the meaning of mate-magic. But didn't you say your Alpha imprinted?"

Leah sighed. "Yes. He did. On a girl when she was an hour or two old."

"Alphas don't imprint," Gunnar retorted. "That's why Eira and I could spare Bjarke from pain."

Leah jumped to her feet. "Listen buddy. There are two packs where I come from and both Alphas freaking imprinted. It happened. I was there!"

Gunnar slowly raised himself from the ground, dipping his head so that he was staring right at Leah. "You are foolish, but that is not unexpected given your youth. You clearly know less than nothing. A true Alpha is free. No mate-magic can sway him. An imprinted Alpha is a false Alpha. To be chief of wolves you must be the first-born son of the last chief of wolves or his descendents." He brought a hand to her collarbone, brushing the blanket aside so that it hung at her shoulder. "If you cannot find a wolf leader to claim you Leah, I would be willing to take you for myself."

Leah shivered under Gunnar's heated gaze. There was something oddly compelling about him. Despite all her suspicions, he was one of two people in her lifetime that had been able to affect her so greatly with eyes alone.

That comparison, that similarity, drew her mind to the other one. The boy with the big brown eyes.

Leah forgot to breathe as a million loose thoughts reordered themselves in her mind.

An imprinted Alpha is a false Alpha.

She phased and Gunnar stepped backwards in shock. Eira called to her but she was already running, her paws thundering against the ground.

To be chief of wolves you must be the first-born son of the last chief of wolves or his descendents.

She hadn't known – none of them had known - but suddenly Leah attached new meaning to those longing looks and hopeful caresses that she had dismissed so offhandedly so many years ago.

There was only one unimprinted person whose origins were a mystery – a sweet boy with an unspecified Quileute ancestry.

Leah heard Gunnar and Eira trailing behind her and she surged ahead. She had always been the fastest wolf. She guided her lean body into a nearby shallow creek to obscure her tracks, never letting up her pace. One word, one thought, drove her faster and faster as it repeated on an endless loop in her mind.

Embry.

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A/N: If you review, both Gunnar and Embry will give you kisses! This is a one-shot for now, but I have a multi-chapter story in mind. Let me know if you would be interested in a longer fic as you might be able to convince me!