Quarantine got me acting a little wild so I'm continuing this story after a drink. This will probably be a one time thing and I doubt that there are even people around who would want to read this this anymore. I'm a lot more grown up and my writing skills have improved since I last updated this. Full disclaimer this chapter probably won't be perfect and there may be some continuity errors or plot holes because I only reread chapters 1-7 and then the final chapter I wrote. While this is for me and my entertainment, I do hope that anyone still reading will enjoy :^) If you're an original follower of the story, thanks for sticking around for half a decade.

"Okay Shang, you put one hand above the other and hold it steady. No, hold it steady!" The older man sighed, watching the small boy try to handle a sword that was longer than his small body.

"Yes father!" Shang's balance faltered under the sharp blade, but he was so eager to follow in his father's footsteps that he was as confident as ever.

Shang's father shook his head and tapped his son's shoulder, causing him to lose any balance he had and fall over, the sword flying behind him. Shang hurried to his feet and took the sword back, struggling to find his grip from before.

"See, my son, you will never be able to face off against enemies of China with a stance like that. Let me show you..."

He leaned over the boy's shoulder and adjusted his hands for him. Shang instantly felt more comfortable holding the weapon and worked to memorize these new hand placements. He would grow to feel more natural holding his blade than being in any other position.

The night that Shang and Mulan returned home was minutes but also weeks. Li Shang was up earlier than anyone else at the camp. Or maybe he was up later than them. Who could tell? The young leader hadn't slept all night. How could he when the images of his father threatening he and his beloved burned into the insides of his eyelids?

As much as he loved Mulan, this was the first night that she (mostly) didn't cross his mind since that snowy night. Instead his thoughts were racing flashes of his childhood. No - he was recounting specific memories in so much detail that it felt like he was reliving them. Maybe a mix of both? Time was warped in his mind.

Shang had always been a dutiful and respectful man. After all, he had given his life for China. What was more honorable than that? He had always stuck to the rules, something that his father had taught him. He showed up early to training and washed his uniform regularly and made sure his subordinates were doing what they were told. He helped his family and respected his elders. What had he done to deserve this?

Was his life a lie? His whole upbringing? What about his family members? Were they in on this? No. He wouldn't let the paranoia get to him. But should he? Would it be safer for his country if he assumed that his mother knew something? What about his older brother? Does he know of this?

Had his father trained him his whole life to recruit him to this resistance? Was he born to be a pawn? Was Li Bo born for the same purpose, like cattle being bred for slaughter? What is his life? His existence? His spirit? Was this a punishment for something Shang had done in a past life, if such things exist?

Li Shang was spiraling. He felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to step out of his tent to vomit but it was as if he had no control over his body as he regurgitated all over his tunic. It was like he was watching himself from above. Had his soul risen out of his body? Was he going to die of shock in this tent after surviving harsh trainings and deadly battles?

"Let me check your armor. Not a scratch! That's my son!"

Shang was mounted on his horse, smiling proudly and securing his first scroll ordering him to begin training into his pouch. He was 14, and hadn't quite grown into himself yet. Still, he was strong for his age and even more wise when it came to battle strategy, even before his initial training. After all, growing up with a military hero as a father was a plus. He took the reigns in his hands, ready to set off for the three day's journey ahead of him.

He carried with him a change of clothes, food rations, empty scrolls and ink for writing home, and his first sword, dulled from almost a decade of backyard training and dummy practice. Though not great in quality, the sword was reliable. His father had told him that he would have to learn to make do with a weapon that wasn't ideal before he could use one of better quality. "You never know what you'll have with you when a war breaks out," he said.

"Before you go, Shang, take this with you," Shang's father said, reaching into a cabinet in the stable.

"Yes, father," Shang obeyed without even seeing the object. He watched as his father pulled out a sheathed blade. As the older man took the sword out from its cover, Shang's eyes widened. This was his father's prized sword from battle. This is what he wielded when he became a hero. He was dumbstruck when his father placed it in his hands.

"I can't accept this, father," He stated.

"What is the first rule about being a soldier, Li Shang?" His father asked sternly.

"To obey orders from superiors, sir," Shang recited, having memorized this and similar rules that his father had taught him during his upbringing.

"Right. See to it that you arrive safely."

Shang quickly dismounted his horse and untied his trusty old blade, placing it in the cabinet where his father's sword had been hiding. He tied his gift to his side and jumped back onto his steed.

"Thank you, father. I will take good care of it, I promise!" Said Shang, finding it hard to hide the giddiness in his voice. His father nodded in reply.

As Shang started to steer his horse out of the stable, his father spoke up once more, staying back in the barn doorway to watch his youngest son depart.

"Shang," He started.

"Yes father?"

"I'm proud of you."

Shang nodded and allowed himself a small smile in his father's direction before finally setting off.

When did I get outside? Shang found himself standing in a patch of grass, the campsite nowhere in sight. Did I wander off...? He looked around, only seeing tall trees. He wanted to look for the others and was certain that he couldn't have gone far, but something was stopping him from moving. No, this was no enemy force. This wasn't a trick being played on him by his father nor was it any disorientation from battle. Instead, it was Shang's mind stopping him. He knew that the logical thing to do was to find his tent, but he couldn't do anything but sink to the ground and run his hands through his hair, messying his usually clean topknot, and think about his father.

This was worse than losing his father the first time. Before, he lived in Shang's memory as a respectful man who died dutifully for his country. Not only that, he remained Shang's father, the man he trusted more than anyone in China. He remained the man who taught him everything he knows about military strategy and the importance of defending one's country. But that man was gone and these memories were forever corrupted. The great General Li was still alive, yes, but Shang had lost any recollection of the man who he once admired, and this was an entirely new loss to mourn.

His lungs were on fire. He couldn't tell if he was breathing too much or too little. His head started to ache and he couldn't get a grip on his thoughts. All the while, the feeling that he was not in control of his body persisted. He thought about what this situation meant, and how he would eventually have to fight against and kill his own father. What will his ancestors think about him? His family? What if he isn't strong enough?

Everyone is going to be disappointed in you, Shang. You will never be able to protect your country, Shang. You are going to either fail your soldiers or fail your family, Shang. You will bring dishonor to your name no matter what, Shang.

"Shang!" A voice cried in the distance. Shang took his head from his hands and looked up. The sun was rising, a phenomenon that Shang thought impossible after such a dark night.

"Shang! Can you hear me?" The voice shouted again, and Shang, officially snapped out of his thoughts, recognized the voice in an instant. He tried to call out to his beloved, but could not find his voice and instead only made the noise of a hoarse breath escaping his throat. He crawled on all fours towards the voice and out of the cluster of trees that he found himself in. He was greeted with the campsite and Mulan's relieved face as she rushed over to him.

"Are you okay?" She asked, falling to the ground in front of him and taking his face in her hands to examine him. He had been crying, though Mulan wasn't sure if he knew that or not. More jarring to her were the dark circles under his eyes, screaming that the man needed sleep. She got to her feet and wordlessly helped her love to his, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Wordlessly, she led him to his tent and laid him down onto his sleeping mat. She helped him out of his dirty clothing - she wasn't sure why he was spending time in the grass - and pulled off his shoes, leaving them next to the tent's entrance.

"I know we have orders, Shang, but I will tell the gang and Chi Fu that you are simply unwell and that we must stay for another day. We can leave at nightfall. I will take care of everything for you. Just rest for today, and I'll check up on you."

Shang looked up at her and nodded, more grateful for her than he had ever been in his life. Yes, even more so than when she saved their entire troop with a single rocket. He had to repay her, once he had his voice and his mind back. He quickly fell asleep in the tent, Mulan watching over him and stroking his face for a few extra minutes before quietly leaving him to his slumber.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far! I know that this probably isn't my best writing but it has been a really long time since I have done any creative writing. Leave a review if you liked it, hated it, or just want to say hi. Over the years I have still kept up with your generous reviews and it makes me smile anytime I look back at them.

peace till next time!