A/N: So as the title header says, I'm completely rewriting this story. I hope you enjoy. Oh, and for the purpose of this fic, joker is completely normal health wise, and there's no reapers.

Prologue

Location: Hegemony slave ship, en route to Citadel.

Date: June _ , 2183

Coughing himself awake, Shepard groaned as reality came crashing back to his body. Bringing with it a world of pain.

"Four hours; a new record... Dream about anything?"

"Dream't I was on a slave ship." John replied sardonically.

"Holly shit," Joker smirked and feigned over dramatic wonderment, "I've been having that dream too!... It's like were connected."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Shepard resisted the urge to smile. In his weakened condition it hurt to laugh, and he knew if he responded it would only egg Jeff on more. As horrible as it sounded, John was glad his best friend had been captured with him. Having a familiar face made going through this misery all the more bearable. God only knew if he'd ever see him again. He hoped he did, but knew he probably wouldn't.

"Anything happen while I was out?"

Jeff looked away, "Ramirez... Ramirez passed away." there was somberness in his voice, "The Squint's took his body outta here about an hour ago."

"Shit..." John closed his eyes and wearily sighed. "How'd he go?" he didn't want to know, but needed to ask.

"Opted out... Bit off his tongue and bled to death."

John felt his blood begin to boil, "Why the fuck didn't anybody notice!? Where the fuck were Johnson and Oliver? Why weren't they watching over him!?" his aggravation sent him into another coughing fit, and he forced himself to calm down. "I charged those two with watching over him so shit like this wouldn't happen."

"He wen't silently, John." Joker shrugged his shoulders and gave him an apologetic look, "No one knew until it was too late... Besides, it was his choice. You can't blame him for wanting to leave this."

"I don't blame him, Jeff." I blame myself. Shepard punched the deck with his fist. With Ramirez gone, the death toll now stood at thirty-two. Running a hand through his greasy unkempt hair, he asked. "Any other surprises?"

Jeff went to his side to help him sit up. "Well, Achmed over there thinks he's figured out a way to hook us up with free satellite cable." as joker snickered, John felt his anger subside and shook his head. Sometimes he envied how quickly Moreau could switch gears.

"Funny. Yesterday he told me he could hook me up with free intergalactic calls." they shared a smirk. No matter the situation, racism was always funny. Gesturing to the rest of the slaves with a nod of his head, John asked. "Anyone find out where we're going? Or when we'll get there?"

"Nothing new."

"That's disappointing. Even the sandy deserts of Khar'shan would be a welcomed change of scenery."

"Yeah, but I doubt we'd enjoy it for very long."

"Khar'shan. You will never find, a more retched hive of scum and villainy."

A few of the men around them let out snickering chuckles. Resting his head against the cells bars, John tried to calculate how much time they'd spent on this ship. To the best of his knowledge, it'd been two weeks since he'd been kidnapped from Mindoir and enslaved. At least he thought it'd been two weeks? For all he knew it could've been a month. The passage of time was inexplicably troublesome to determine out in space. More so in their case: Trapped in a 20'x20' cell with (now) sixty-eight other slaves. Surrounded by metal walls, no clock, no calendar, lights kept on 24/7 to keep them sleep deprived and disorientated, surviving on one meal a day so they were weak and easy to control. At times the only thing that kept them all from going insane was each other.

God, Johnathan was tired.

Not the "I just spent the entire day fixing the chicken coop" tired, but rather the "Oh my god, everything hurts, someone please put me out of my misery" tired. Glancing at his decrepit, grime and shit covered self, he figured he was half dead already. Though for some reason, life clung to his body like a virulent disease. His family was strong in that sense; all eight of his siblings had that stalwart tenacity too. John attributed it to his parents. What with them being N7's and all.

Shepard felt himself warm as happy memories from home flooded his mind. Working the field with his father, his mother teaching him how to cook and hunt, sneaking onto the Williams property at night to rendezvous with Ashley in their barns attic... But soon his smile turned to wet, raspy, coughs, as he struggled for breath. It felt like an elephant was sitting on him. Or maybe one of those Elcor creatures he'd read about in school.

"Hows breathing?"

"If you... If you can call it that." John replied with several heavy wheezes. "Christ... Feels like... Feels like I'm sucking air through a coffee straw."

"Better than sucking something else."

"Dammit, Joker, don't make me laugh." a small smile spread across his lips as he coughed once more. Taking a deep, nasally breath, John turned his head and spat out a thick glob of white mucus. Christ, this isn't good. "How's my temperature?"

"How should I know?"

Shepard narrowed his eyes, "Just put your wrist on my forehead and tell me."

Jeff resisted the urge to make some sort of rectal thermometer joke, and dusted the grime off his wrist as best he could. Hopefully their captors would spray the cell down with the fire-hose soon. God, when did he start looking forward to that? Placing his wrist on Shepard's forehead, Jeff steeled his expression.

"Its bad isn't it?"

"Its not so bad, Shep. You just got a small fever is all; hardly noticeable." Jeff lied. Shepard's body was cold, clammy, and sticky with a thick layer of sweat. "Just need to get some food and water in you is all. You'll be right as rain in no time." he said meekly, more to reassure himself as he readjusted John's blanket and massaged his shoulder. "Trust me, you'll be fine."

"You're a horrible liar." John's could see the worry in Jeff's eyes and he doubted the Batarian's would be so kind as to give him anti-boitics. Hell, they were just as likely to toss him out an airlock as they were to treat him. "You should stay away from me. Don't wanna risk getting you infected."

"Knock it off with that." Joker replied quietly as he lightly swatted John in the back of the head. "Might give people the wrong idea about us."

"So theirs an us now?" Shepard wagged his eyebrows in a teasing manner, "I'm touched, Joker." covering his mouth as he coughed again, John lifted his blanket to examine his bruised rib cage. Touching it, he winced in pain. "Four eyed fucks don't mess around."

"You're lucky nothing's broken."

"You mean he's lucky."

Joker sighed and rubbed his forehead, "You know, I distinctly remember warning you to not piss off the guards. If you'd listened to me, your chest wouldn't be looking fifty shades of fucked up."

Rolling his eyes as he traced his fingers over his stomach, Shepard could feel that his body was already starting to atrophy; cannibalizing fat to make up the caloric deficit. The protein in his muscles would be next, and because he was biotic, it wouldn't be long before he was looking like a twig. "At least I'm not the one getting buddy buddy with the squints."

"This is prison rules, Shep. I'm not some freaky giant like you."

"I'm hardly a giant."

"You're six feet tall and built like a line-backer. You've got your strengths, I've got my jokes."

"You're jokes aren't very good." John deadpanned.

"You're really gonna ague with me? We got blankets, Shepard... Blankets!"

John raised his hand in mock triumph, "Huzzah! A mighty victory."

"You're like a mob wife you know that?... You look down at me and my ways, but you don't mind wearing the mink coat that fell off the back of the truck."

"Really? Cause last week you said I was the brakes."

"That was if we were cars, Shepard. This is if we were mobsters."

"I'd know which part you'd be if we were a horse."

The men around them laughed and snickered. This had been their roles since they'd been captured. John was true to his namesake and acted as a Shepard, making sure it didn't become too much like Lord of The Flies. While Joker hammered home the levity to keep up morale. A positive mental game was one of the most precious assets they had left.

"Shit, here comes your new best friend." Jeff hushed as he made himself look like he was minding his own business. "Try not to piss him off again."

Johnathan didn't have the energy to respond, but he knew if he didn't act as a lighting rod for the slavers hostility, the burden would be passed onto everyone else. That was something he just couldn't live with.

"Well, well, well, look who survived the night?" Balak's gravely, dual-toned voice was like sand paper to his ears. He nudged the human with the edge of his boot, "Looks like Charn owes me fifty credits."

Shepard remained silent and glared indignation as he wrapped his arm through the cages metal bars. The silence wasn't lost on the slaver.

"What? No pithy comeback? No scathing retort?"

Coughing several times as he adjusted his dingy wool blanket, John flashed a weak smile. "I'm sure your mother's very proud. She'll probably let you stick it in her ass for fifty credits."

"Now you've done it." Joker chastised as he moved away.

Balak flicked his wrist, causing the Varren prod in his hand to telescope to its full length. The look of fear on the slaves faces ignited a sadistic fire in his four, beady, black eyes. "Got quite the mouth on you, slave." he sneered as electricity ark'd between the rods prongs, "Were you female, I'd show you how to put that tongue to proper use."

"Classic overcompensation. You know Balak, there's nothing wrong with being gay. In the end you're only hurting yourself more by sticking to this hetero delusion." after Shepard saw the Batarian was too stupid to understand his jab, he dumb'd it down. "You have latent homosexual tendencies because you grew up fatherless and watched your mother whore herself out to make ends meet... Or who knows? Maybe your mothers a cock hungry whore because she likes it."

Balak chuckled and said, "I'm going to miss this." before hitting him with 75,000 volts of mind numbing electric pain. He watched with glee as the human flailed silently in agony while his naked body spasm'd in torment on the floor. After a few seconds he took the prod away, "Anything else?"

Shepard panted and wheezed through clenched teeth as every muscle in his body felt like it had been set on fire. Hocking another wad of mucus and spitting it on Balak's boot, Shepard sneered triumphantly and gave a defiant look. "You know fellas... It makes my heart heavy, to see the Batarian race sink as low as Balak's mother has. At least if she were human she'd be ashamed of herself." some of the other slaves snickered, "But being a squint bitch, she still thinks she's better than the Krogan she sells that ass to in the parking lot of the titty bar she works." the snickers had turned to outright laughter.

"My mother's a book keeper, slave!"

"More like cock keeper." John retorted and laughed while he could before he was hit again with the prod. Instantly his body contorted again, and his head thrashed against the bars, cutting open his forehead. Shepard wanted to yell, wanted to scream, wanted to do something, but was paralyzed by the pain. He could do nothing but wait for his torment to be over.

In his mind it lasted for an eternity, but in actuality was only a few moments. Damaged slaves meant less profit, and owners wanted to do the breaking in themselves. Pulling the prod away, Balak hissed. "Care to go for round three?"

Shepard's head pitifully lolled against the bars as blood dripped over his eyes, blurring his vision. "You know... One of these day's I'm gonna have a nifty little stick of my own... Just you wait."

"Ha-ha-ha! Such determination! You'll need that fire where we're going, Mindoirian." John didn't like the friendly turn Balak's tone had taken. "Many lannisters will pay handsomely to add such spirited flesh to their ludi's ranks." Shepard's mind exploded in anguish as Balak electrocuted him again. "Who knows, human? Maybe months from now I'll see you fighting in the sands of my homeworld's Colosseum." he paused his torture for a moment and toothily grinned, "And I'll be able to say: I knew him when."

"Suck... My... Dick."

"Good! Good!" Balak gleefully cheered as he hit the human with the Varren prod again and again. This time however, he didn't stop until the human passed out. When the slave moved no more, Balak fished his yellow cock from his trousers, and let go a stream of foul brown piss. As he marked the human on his ugly, inferior, two eyed face, Balak laughed. "Remember, slaves. Your new masters won't be as merciful as I." When the flow stopped, he returned his flaccid length to his trousers and walked away.

As Balak trotted off to continue his rounds, Joker would hear the occasional yelp of pain from an unfortunate soul. As horrible as it sounded, he was glad he was male. For them, the occasional electric prodding, beatings, and blast from a fire hose was the worst it ever got. He didn't want to imagine what sort of hell the women were going through in the other compartment.

Coughing out a mouth full of blood and piss, John groaned as he spat out a small piece of his lower lip. Examining the void with his dirty fingers, he felt where he had bitten clean through his flesh. "Fucking prick." his face suddenly contorted in disgust, "Oh god, what the fuck is that smell?... Why am I wet?... Did someone piss on me?"

"Yup." replied someone

Shepard wanted to vomit.

"Hey Shepard."

"Not now, Jeff." John replied as he contemplated the gains of drying himself off with a dirty blanket. In the grand scheme of things he was surrounded by filth and excrement, a little piss hardly would make a difference.

Shepard?... ... ... Shepard... ... ... Hey Shepard?"

John winced as he rolled over to face him, "... What?"

"Suck. My. Dick."

The cage erupted with laughter. It didn't matter how stupid it was or if it made any sense, they were all just glad to have something to laugh at. Though truth be told, Shepard wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

Chapter end.

A/N: As always, please be kind and give reviews down below. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, I know this is the internet, but please don't be a dick. I know it sound's cliched as hell, but reviews do a lot to help fuel the writing process. Think of them like intangible boosts of energy. If theirs something you want to see, a particular fetish, or paring, feel free to post it in the comments below.

Thanks for taking the time to read and review, hope to see you all in chapter two.