As you can probably guess by my screen name, I love the character Lilah Morgan. She was the first TV character I really felt as if I understood what was going on in her head. I feel like I understand her on a deep level. I was re watching Angel episodes and I became inspired for this drabble. Please enjoy. I might add on to this as time goes on. I also thought I would add a little of what happened at the end of the scene that we didn't see in the episode.

Lilah had convinced herself years ago she didn't need what everyone else had in life. She didn't need deep emotional connections or moving conversations. Sure, she would take sex, but what came after? She could live without all that mess.

She had learned to live without love or the hope anyone would be there for her at the end of the day. She had learned to feeling nothing but numbness because numbness meant no pain. She had learned to live without feeling anything, until she met Wesley, that is. She had never expected to feel anything with the scowling Englishmen she was meant to recruit, but what could she say? Love has an odd way of bringing people who have no business being together, well, together.

She had loved him as much as someone like she could love someone. And foolish her, she thought he had loved her too. But with every longing gaze Wesley had given Fred's way, Lilah had cursed herself for allowing herself to think she needed him, or love.

She did what she could to allow him to let her go. Why, she wasn't sure, but she knew she needed to do one decent thing in her life. So she talked to him as he stood over her body while wielding an axe. She did it out of love for him, but told herself he didn't do it out of love for her. How could anyone love her? What was there to love?

"You've suffered enough," he said as he lit the contract on fire. "I want you to find some peace."

And in the moment, she knew she had been wrong. Lilah knew the minute she saw the contract in Wesley's hands she had been loved. She had been loved deeply and truly, and she felt a peace she had never known. She wondered for a moment what her life would have been like if she would have told him she loved him in the gutters or in the hotel before she died. But she was dead and he was with the living, she knew that's the way it had to be now. She wouldn't allow her heart to ache for what could have been.

"Galant to the end," she said as she watched the contract burn. "But I knew what I signed up for."

"It's done." He said with a satisfied look when the contract was gone.

Her heart broke again. He had wanted to be her white knight who saved her from her evil ways from the very beginning. This was his way of trying to save her until the bitter end. She knew the contract wouldn't be destroyed but for a moment she desperately wished it would be. She wished she could allow him to feel the satisfaction of saving her, because she knew he had already done that for her a long time ago.

"Look in the drawer. Flames wouldn't be eternal if they actually consumed anything, but It means something that you tried," she whispered. Wesley met her gaze with a pained expression.

"I should be able to do this," he whispered back. "I should be able to end your pain."

"Oh Lover," she sighed and she let him to wrap herself into his arms one last time. She allowed herself to sink into him as he lightly stroked her back. "You already did."