This was a request from my loving girlfriend, and we worked together on this. He ready for a lot of Uprising-style humor.

Pit had just beaten Hades, and one thing was on his mind as he was flying back to Skyworld, Pretty Palutena. He was thinking about how beautiful she was, long flowing hair, slender bod and things that he couldn't understand. (T&A)

He had arrived back at Palutena's Temple and ran up the stairs to find her.

"Lady Palutena, I'm back! Where are you?" Pit shouted, but heard nothing.

He searched some more and heard her humming. He ran blindly into the hot springs and was stopped dead in his tracks. He saw Palutena soaking in the hot, steamy water, she only didn't hear because of her humming.

He was dumbfounded by her radiant skin, flowing and shiny green hair and couldn't help but stare at the glorious sight just above water level. Her divine breasts. He let out a shout in embarrassment.

She turned slowly to see what and where the noise came from, and was horrified to see him standing there.

"PIT!" She screamed in horror and sheer embarrassment. She stood up in shock and forgot to cover herself, making Pit's nose bleed at the goddess in front of him.

He fainted on the spot, the shock of her wet, naked body was too much for Pitty Pat.

He wakes up in Palutena's bedroom and found her sitting beside him, smiling in a mint green bathrobe.

He was thinking back to what caused this to happen and remembered the almighty sight he witnessed. Her long, slender legs, her large, perky mounds and her wet treasure residing between her legs.

His face turned as red as Pyrrhon's flaming hair. When she noticed how nervous he looked and she began to blush as she knew what he thinking of, using her "All seeing eye of Palutena."

"Are you okay, Pit? You had quite a spill back there, were you tired from fighting Hades and just passed out?" She asked, playing dumb.

He just nodded no, as he was too ashamed to speak right now. She let out a sigh and decided to leave him for a while.

As she got up, Pit whispered "Wait, don't go." He reach out his hand and grabbed her bathrobe, accidentally pulling it off.

She was exposed in her heavenly white, lacy and almost see-through panties and bra, making his jaw drop and eyes grow wide, nose bleeding harsher this time.

Palutena let out a shriek, and bolted out of the room in embarrassment. Pit began to ponder what he had just done.

All of a sudden, Dark Pit flew into the window, landing beside Pit.

"Hey, Pittoo!" Pit eagerly greeted him.

"Will you quit calling me that, Pit Stain?!" Dark Pit lashed out.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard you fell like a thick tree when you saw Palutena naked. I came to see if it was true." He explained, smugly smiling.

Pit grew red in the face and stuttered "Wait, what?! How'd you even know that?!"

"Palutena told Viridi and I heard her laughing her head off, so I came here to see how humiliated you were personally." He explained, holding back a chuckle.

Pit sulked and exclaimed "Oh, give me a break, would ya? Anyway, I need advice."

Dark Pit crossed his arms and questioned, chuckling under his breath "You need ME to give YOU advice? Don't make me laugh."

He grabs the dark angel's tunic and cries out "I'm serious! I'm groveling here! I'm as serious as floor ice cream!"

Dark Pit pulls his hands off and fixes his tunic. "Guess you're serious. All right, all right, I'll give you your stinking advice."

He sat next to him and stated "Spit it out, I don't have all day."

"I... Want to know more about girls... And their...features." Pit asked, poking his fingers.

Dark Pit was silent for a moment and started breaking down into an uncontrolable laughing spree. He was shouting and crying from the cluelessness in Pit's voice.

"You...you gotta be kidding me!" He struggled to say, laughing manically.

"You...you want me to explain... Girl's bodies?!" He asked, pounding the bed

His red-faced counterpart spoke with humiliation "Yes! I want to know how to... Make Palutena happy and what to do with... Her body."

Dark Pit was screaming in a brouhaha now, crying in laughter even more.

"Stop... Stop! I'm gonna bust a gut if you don't stop!" He shouted, rolling on the bed in his tears of joy.

After about five minutes, his rompous laughter dies down and he regains composure. Letting out a deep breath, he begins.

"So you want to know how girls work and what makes them tick?" Dark Pit asked.

"Y-yes."

"Well, listen up, I'm only going to do this once. Well, to start, do you ever get a special feeling from your staff?"

"Which staff, I have a lot."

"No, you ding-dong, YOUR ding-dong." Dark Pit exclaimed, face palming, leaving his hand print behind.

"I've never heard of that staff."

Dark Pit groaned and pointed between his legs and shouted "The one connected to you right HERE!"

"Ohhhhh, is that a special kind of staff?" Pit wondered.

"To a woman it is, if used right, it'll blow a woman's mind."

"Well, for some reason, just as I passed out and before you showed up, it was solid as a club." Pit explained.

Dark Pit finally had full composure and said "That's a boner. You want that, and Palutena will REALLY want it."

"So... Boner equals happiness?"

"Yeah, Ha-penis. And what you wanna do is.." He tried to explain until he heard Palutena heading up the stairs.

"Lessons over, see ya!" Dark Pit exclaimed as he grabbed a pair of Palutena's used panties and threw it in Pit's face, getting Viridi's Power of Flight as he leaped out the window.

Pit held the panties in his hands, enjoyed the soft fabric, and from sudden instinct, sniffed them. He let out a sigh as he enjoyed the sour aroma.

Palutena walked in with a depressed look and softly said, then shouting when she saw her panties in his hands, sniffing them."I just wanted to say... I'm sorry about what hap-p-p-p-PIT?!"

He threw them into her laundry hamper, waved his hands and shouted "Don't kill me, I can explain!"

She walked slowly to him and sat next to him, holding his hand.

He blushed as she told him "It's okay, you're getting mature. It's only natural. I've done thing with your used boxers."

His face was flushed and he shouted "Wiat, what?! You're not serious, are you?!"

She chuckled and answered "Oh Pit, of course I'm joking. But I'm serious about the fact that you've become more mature. I was listening via telepathy after Dark Pit was bursting out laughing. I'm here to tell you about the male and female anatomy."

Pit was nervous, but she held his hand tighter, telling him it was okay.

"You see, when a man and a woman are in love for a long time, they have something called... Sex. It's when they become intimate with each other."

Pit was confused but went along with it, not wanting to sound dumb.

"The woman often rubs the Man's organ between his legs, called his penis. She does this until his... Love juices squirt out. And the man does the same to her organ, the vagina.

Pit squirmed a bit, and soon felt a loving embrace from behind.

"It's alright Pit. I'll walk you through this." His goddess told him reassuringly.