All the Hassle none of the fun

There hasn't been any reference to Alan standing in for John on 5 in the reboot – but suppose he did have to stand in for John, even for a short time…how would he get on with Eos?

All the usual disclaimers

"John…John…JOHN!"

John Tracy turned in his bed – his bed on earth. It took a few minutes to acclimatise.

"Whaaatt?" He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake himself after…how many hours' sleep. It felt as though he'd just dropped off and looking at his alarm clock he realised he had!

"EOS, what on earth!"

"You have to come back now John. I can't take him any longer!"

"Who? Alan? It's a matter of hours since I left. Can't you two get along?"

"No we can't he's impossible!"

"He's beaten you hasn't he? You challenged him to 'Zombie Killers' "

"His illogic is so illogical it's beyond measure!"

"Yeh, he's pretty random. Plays with his gut."

I do not have a 'gut' "
"True, you are logical to a fault."

"Of course I am, John. What else could I be and how could 'logical' be a fault?"

"You play in a particular way. He can anticipate your moves because they're…well…predictable. Try throwing in the odd random move, it will distract him long enough for you to get some sneaky moves in."

"As you did when we first met."

"Mmm. I'll be back as soon as the docs certify me 'fit to fly'; hopefully about a week."

"A WEEK! I will blow a dozen processors by then."

"Well, I'll have plenty to keep me occupied when I get back. Try to be the 'bigger man', Allan is just a kid."

"I'm not human and he's certainly childish."

"Hmmm…takes one to know one."

"What do you mean by that?" Eos demanded.

"Eos, I have to fly to the mainland tomorrow and need to be up at 4am. I NEED some sleep!"

"All right then. I'll try – sleep well John and promise you'll come back very VERY soon!"

"Going to try."

John wrapped himself back into his bed, gently drifting off…

"JOHN, JOHN."

Why did Alan always have to shout?

"Yes Alan"

"There's something wrong with Eos! She's made moves that don't make sense."

"Has she beaten you yet?"

"Twice, John. TWICE."

"She's learning then."

"What do you mean?"

"She's already spoken to me. Complained about your game and…why am I discussing this? I should be asleep!"

"But John…"

"No 'buts' Alan. You two will have to learn how to get along. I've no intention of acting as referee 24/7 for however long I have to stay earthside. I'll be back when the doctor tells me I'm fit to go back to 5. Either play and accept she's going to win at least some of the time or don't play. I don't care either way – just leave me out of it!"

"But…"

"No 'Buts' Alan. Just get on with it."

John flicked the hologram aside, sliding down his bed to hide under the duvet.

"All the hassle of being a parent, none of the fun." He muttered to himself as he drifted off again.