AN: This is a quick Two Shot that I wrote today about a story idea that has been in my head for quite some time. I hope you all enjoy this little short. Thanks for reading.

PS: Just for this story, I'm making the Hobbit life cycle very similar to that of dwarves. Also, I'm going with the book where Thorin was only a small child when he first left Erebor, but the rest of this story is an AU from the movies. If you have any other questions that I have neglected to answer in this note, please feel free to ask me in a review.

Balin sighed as he knocked on the little green door with the blue symbol that Gandalf had carved what seemed like so long ago. Bilbo had said, in the letter he had left behind to say goodbye to the dwarves, that tea was at four and that they shouldn't bother knocking, but Balin still couldn't bring himself to do that. After all that Bilbo had done for them, it felt wrong of the dwarf to disturb his well-deserved peace by just walking in.

"Come in!" Bilbo called out, so Balin did just that. "I'm afraid that I cannot stand to greet you, but I'm in the sitting room if you'll join me."

Suddenly, Balin felt frozen. They had not seen the Hobbit since Thorin had almost cast him over the ramparts, though they, including Thorin, had made sure to send every apology, which had been replied with every forgiveness, and they had never known if the hobbit had even been injured. The fact that Bilbo could not even stand to greet him did not bode well. Was he so badly injured that he couldn't even walk anymore?

"Hello?" Bilbo called out.

And then Balin knew that he would not be able to rest until he knew the exact extent of the damage. He rushed into the sitting room where the fire was blazing and Bilbo was sitting in a big red armchair. What he saw there was like nothing he had ever imagined and he practically collapsed into the chair next to the hobbit.

"Oh!" Bilbo looked just as shocked as he was. "I did not expect you so soon. I had thought you at least would be needed during the rebuilding of Erebor."

But Balin would not be distracted. "You are pregnant," he gasped. And very much so, if the size of the hobbits massive belly was anything to go by. It looked far too big to fit on a hobbit, and the weight of it seemed to be crushing him. Even his swollen feet, which were resting up on a soft stool, were small in comparison.

"Yes," Bilbo sighed happily, as he looked down at the stomach that both his hands were cradling. He could feel the little ones inside him getting restless and he couldn't wait to be able to hold them in his arms. "They've been quite the hassle to carry around, but they'll come out any day now and I can't wait to meet them."

"They?" Balin asked.

"Oh yes!" Bilbo nodded. "The elves confirmed that there was at least two when I passed through Rivendell." Balin twitched as his suspicions were being validated. "Besides, I do not think that even dwarf babies would be this large on their own."

"And may I ask who the father is?" Balin asked cautiously. He was already pretty certain he knew exactly who the father was because the hobbit had only lain with one member of the entire company.

"King Thorin is the father," Bilbo frowned, looking off into the distance as he thought about that very dwarf.

Balin felt bad for pressing the matter, but he simply had to know. "Is this why you told us it was such a scandal for hobbits to lay with anyone outside of marriage?"

Bilbo nodded. "Hobbits are a very fertile people. It is almost impossible for us to avoid pregnancy after intercourse."

"Then why did you lay with Thorin during the journey?" Balin asked. He hoped that their king was not so selfish as to promise Bilbo that they would marry in the end. There was no way for the king to marry the hobbit because he was already married to another for the sake of a treaty. Thorin had always felt trapped in the agreement, Balin knew, since he had never met his husband and so had slept around with anyone and everyone that would have him. It was still a scandal in dwarven culture for one who is married to lay with another, but not quite so horrible as it seemed to be in hobbit culture. So there was no other reason that Balin could think Bilbo would allow himself to sleep with the dwarf.

Bilbo sighed again. "Balin, you must promise me that what I am about to divulge, you will not tell anyone else without my permission."

"Very well," Balin nodded. "I promise."

"On my table there," Bilbo pointed to a small table that rested against one of the side walls and was stacked with paper, "there is a document. You will know it when you see it."

Balin went over to investigate the table, now knowing how Bilbo must have felt trying to search for the Arkenstone within all that treasure with only the thought that he would know it when he saw it, and shifted through the papers until he came upon the only thing that Bilbo could have been referring to. It was a small piece of paper, written in crayon with a child's hand, but Balin recognized a marriage agreement when he saw one. And, down at the bottom, there were two signatures. The first, written shakily by another child's hand, belonged to Bilbo Baggins, and the second, written by the same child that wrote the entire contract, was Thorin son of Thrain. "Oh!" Balin gasped.

"I thought that he finally recognized me that night when he took me to bed, but then the next morning he started talking about how I was different from all his other conquests and complaining about the husband that he had been forced to marry without even meeting. I really should have known that he would not know the significance of that paper. As children, hobbits are all taught the absolute importance of marriage, it is practically the first thing we learn in our education, and I had thought it was the same way for you dwarves. How foolish I was. Thorin doesn't even remember me and he thinks that we were only married to further a trade agreement, which is completely untrue. My grandfather never allowed our marriage to be part of the contract, though he might have said that we would take care of them as they were then part of our family as we hobbits are meant to."

Balin rushed back over to Bilbo's side as tears gathered and fell down the hobbit's cheek. He quickly as much of the small one as he could reach around the massive stomach and began to rock him back and forth.

"I always waited for him to come back and see me," Bilbo cried out, "but he had long since forgotten about me. He said that I was his One. He told me that he loved me, but I should never have believed a child."

"Sh," Balin cooed, cradling the bawling hobbit's head in the crook of his neck so that the other could feel free to cry out all his tears without the chance of anyone else seeing. "Sh." Yet there were no other words of comfort he could think of. Not after the suffering that Bilbo must have gone through on their journey. To be forgotten and belittled every step of the way by his own husband. And then to find that Thorin had not at all been faithful to the little one. It was just too much and Balin knew that nothing he said would ever make it better, so he just sat and cooed at the little hobbit until all the tears had been cried out.

"I thought of a way to make him happy, though," Bilbo sniffled once he calmed enough to do so. "I was going to tell him by post, but maybe you could do it instead. Although, maybe that's too much to ask of you."

"Tell me what you have planned," Balin shook his head.

"I want to tell Thorin that his husband is dead," Bilbo replied. "That way he'll be free to marry another. None of the hobbits know what my husband looks like, so I can just say that he is needed in another land and cannot come to visit me. No one will ever have to know that we are married and he can finally have the life that he wants without being stuck with me."

"Is that truly what you want?" Balin asked. He, of course, would not tell Bilbo that dwarves were considered married even after the death of their partner. There was no way that Thorin could remarry, but right now Balin thought the other dwarf deserved it. He should not be allowed to move on after breaking their hero's heart so thoroughly.

Bilbo shook his head, but forced a smile. "I just want him to be happy with whomever he really loves."

"And what of the children?" Balin asked. Immediately, he regretted even bringing them up because Bilbo's face crumbled and his grip on his stomach tightened.

"What about them?" Bilbo asked with wide eyes.

"Will you take care of them on your own? Raise them as hobbits?"

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "They will not be hobbits. We are fertile creatures, but our children are always the race of the father, not the barer. I had planned to teach them a mix of hobbit culture and dwarven culture. I've even been collecting books from the dwarves of the Blue Mountains who have passed through on their way to Erebor, but I'm still severely lacking."

"I will send you many books if that is your wish when I return to Erebor."

Bilbo grinned, but then it fell almost immediately. "You won't tell anyone else about the children, will you Balin? I don't want to lose them."

"I will not tell," Balin shook his head, "but I will carry the news that you asked me to, to Thorin."

"Thank you," Bilbo sighed, rubbing his stomach carefully once more. "Do you think that it would be okay if I named one of them Frerin if either of them turns out to be a boy?"

"After Thorin's brother?" Balin asked.

Bilbo nodded. "I met him when I met Thorin. He was a sweet boy and I know that he fell during the Battle of Azanulbizar. I want to honor him and this was the best way I could think of."

"That would be a great honor," Balin nodded. "Now I must go. I was only meant to stop in for a little while before heading back to the mountain."

"You do not even want to stay for tea?" Bilbo asked.

"No," Balin shook his head. "I am needed back at Erebor as you said. I have only been able to make this journey because Thorin sent me to invite you to his coronation. I see now that that is not possible, so I must return."

"I'm sorry," Bilbo looked down sadly. "Could you please tell him that I was sorry to miss it?"

"I will most definitely tell him that," Balin promised. "Now I must be off. I wish you and your children well dear friend."

"You as well," Bilbo smiled sadly. "And feel free to come and visit me again whenever you like. My door will always be open to all of you."

"Thank you," Balin bowed and turned to go. Taking one last glance around the place, he knew that not one of the dwarves would ever be able to return. They would try, the old dwarf knew, but, in order to keep the secret of the children, Balin would have to stop them from doing so. It was likely, they would never again see their little burglar hobbit.

Balin could barely contain his anger when he returned to the mountain and was called to face Thorin for a private talk. He wanted nothing more than to scold his king, but he had made promises that he was determined to keep. "My king," he bowed as he entered the room. Thorin had already told them that they should call him by his first name, but Balin had made everyone aware that they must always greet the king with respect. Only after they had done so could they then act so friendly towards the king because, otherwise, it would be harder for other dwarves to respect him.

"Will he come?" Thorin asked immediately.

"He was not able to come," Balin shook his head, "but he wished me to tell you that he was very sorry to miss it."

Thorin sighed, and sank deeper into the chair in his royal chamber. "Why was he unable to come?"

"He wished me not to say," Balin replied.

"Is he still angry at me for what I did to him?" Thorin asked. What he had done that day on the rampart still haunted his dreams. He would sometimes even find himself waking with the hobbit's name on his lips after watching the body that he had worshiped in Lake Town smash on the rocks far beneath him.

"He has already forgiven you for that," Balin shook his head because, even though he did not think Thorin should have been forgiven so easily, he had no doubt that Bilbo had already forgiven the dwarf even before the Battle of Five Armies began. Such was the hobbit's love for the other, though Balin was pretty sure he would have done the same even if they had not previously been married. "He was just unable to make the trip. But I was given other news while I was in Hobbiton."

"And what would that be?" Thorin sighed. He had been looking forward to seeing Bilbo once more. He had wanted to make sure that the other was okay especially after receiving news that Bilbo was nowhere to be found when he first woke up and asked for the hobbit. It wasn't until later that someone found out that the hobbit had slipped away with Gandalf before any of the company could even talk to him.

"It seems that the husband you so loathed being married to is dead," Balin replied, unable to keep all of his anger from his voice. He reigned it away from his face, though, as Thorin looked up with wide eyes. For a moment, Balin thought that maybe the king really did remember who his husband was, but then Thorin grinned and he knew it was not so.

"Truly?" he asked and Balin nodded. "Good! I shall go and see Bilbo when my coronation is over and bring him back with me."

"To do what?" Balin hissed. "Become your concubine. Even though your husband is dead, you are still married to him. You cannot marry another."

"Surely Bilbo will understand," Thorin shook his head. "He told me that he loved me and I love him. He will understand once I explain everything to him."

"Sleeping with another outside of marriage is one of the greatest sins to a hobbit," Balin replied and Thorin turned to face him with a shocked expression. "Especially when one of the party is married. You've had your chance with Bilbo and you broke his heart. You will not hurt him even more by going to see him now." And, with that, Balin left the room, not even caring as Thorin's shocked expression followed him out. Perhaps it was a little cruel to keep the two of them apart when they so clearly loved each other, but Balin was not sure that Bilbo would survive any more time spent with the husband that had forgotten him and treated him so horribly. No. Balin would make sure that Bilbo no longer had to suffer any more connection with this mountain.

And so it was. Until several years later.