I know it's been a while since I've posted, but, well, there's school and stuff. I'm sorry. Anyways, hope you enjoy! And I really appreciate your reviews; they make me really happy! :)
Tony looked into the camera, his face pale and drawn with fear and resilience, eyes ringed and dark from lack of sleep. He breathed heavily as he spoke, crouched behind a purple couch with a pair of gold earmuffs and a pot on his head.
"We have entered (huff) a warzone."
He slowly lifted the camera around the corner of the couch to reveal Steve, Thor, Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Pietro hiding behind other furniture in the Avenger's living room, all wearing pots, pans, metal trays, and other various things as helmets and armor, as well as earmuffs. All held guns, but no other weapons were visible.
"It's Wanda," Tony breathed, bringing the camera back. "Bruce decided to watch a movie marathon with her last night. As a result of this, we regret to report that Wanda Maximoff has entered…" He closed his eyes with a shudder.
"Musical Mode."
"ZE HIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLSSSSS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEEE! VITH ZE SOUND OF MUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIICCCCCCC!" Incredibly loud, ridiculously off-key singing came from the next room over, as Tony's face contorted in pain.
Tony glanced around the couch.
"As soon as she comes in the room," Steve whispered, loading his gun with a tranquilizer, receiving affirmative nods from the other Avengers.
"VITH SONGGGGSSSS ZEY HAVE SUNGGGGGGGG! FOR A….. LOOONNNNNNGGGG TIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEEE!"
"The worst part is that she doesn't really know the words…"
"Uhhhhh…. Ooh! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMEEEEEEVVVVHHHHHEEEEEERRRRREEEEE OOOOVER ZE RAINBOOOOWOWWWWW!"
Steve held up his fingers.
Three.
"WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY"
Two.
"UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP"
Three.
"HIII- AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH"
The seven Avengers jumped out from behind the couches, shouting war cries and letting off a spray of tranquilizer darts. The camera wobbled with the motion. Wanda was on the coffee table, arms outstretched as she sang, deflecting bullets with her magic.
"ZUPERCALIEXPALICIOUSZOOPENSOMESINKDOCIOUS! IF YOU ZING IT LOUD ENOUGH YOU'LL ALVAYS SOUND ATROCIOUS! ZUPERDINGDONGFAGILEISTICLALADOODLEDOCIOUS!"
Wanda spun around on the table, still deflecting shots. One flew straight into Clint, finding an exposed spot right under the metal tray covering his chest.
"Our best hope of an accurate shot is gone!" Steve yelled. "Retreat and regroup!"
Seven Avengers clustered in a nearby hallway, leaving an oblivious Wanda trying to beatbox in the living room. The view swiveled as Tony handed the camera to Natasha so she could film him hashing out a battle plan. All of Tony and his pot armor was now visible.
"All right, my fellow warriors. It appears a brute force is not the best option. We need a new strategy."
He took a crumpled scrap paper from his pocket and laid it on the floor, using a pencil (also from the pocket) to sketch the living room and some arrows and symbols while whispering directions.
"Thor, this is you. You and I will come around from the kitchen and distract the singing menace."
"Why must I be this odd shape? I would like to be the circle."
"I vant to be ze triangle," Pietro peeped.
Tony grumbled while changing shapes around. "Then when she's distracted the rest of you will come in and shoot."
"Let's do this!" Steve said with a grin, and Tony grabbed the camcorder back before joining Thor in the kitchen. Thor turned to face Tony.
"May the warriors of Valhalla honor us for this battle," he said, before walking back into the living room.
"Comrade Wanda!" Thor shouted. "Bring a halt to your vile noises!"
Wanda didn't seem to hear him, instead launching into another chorus as Tony and Thor shouted at her to stop.
"DO YOU VANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAAAAAAAAAANN!"
Thor gasped. "I know this song!" And launched into harmony with her, his mission forgotten.
"I'VE STARTED TALKING TO ZE PICTURES ON ZE VALLS!"
"HANG IN THERE JOAN," Thor's voice rumbled.
"No! Thor, don't give in to her –" Wanda twisted her fingers, and red tendrils floated around in front of the screen, with Tony turned to face him as the wisps entered his head.
"Tell Pepper I love her," he muttered as he and the camera dropped to the floor. Tony was curled in the fetal position, whimpering and moaning as he saw his worst nightmare. "Nooo… Wanda…. Everywhere… Everyone…Singing…."
"ZE PHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNTOM OF ZE OPERA IS ZERE! INSIDE YOUR MIND!"
A blue flash was visible as Pietro zipped in, grabbed the camera, placed it on a nearby shelf, and zipped out. A battle cry was sounded as the Avengers rushed in a full frontal assault, tranquilizers firing. Wanda, still on the defensive, flicked them away with her magic while Thor, singing with her, knocked them away with a frying pan.
"Zizter Vandaaaaaaaa!" Pietro tried to tackle his sister but instead got caught in the head by the frying pan and crumpled to the floor.
Steve was shaking Tony, trying to wake him from the dream. "Wake up buddy, you've gotta wake up…" Until both of them were hit by tranquilizers, bringing some peace to Tony.
"IT'S ZE CIRRRRRRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEEE!"
Natasha and Bruce were tag teaming, with her firing as Bruce knocked flying tranquilizers out of the way with his own frying pan. Until Nat tripped over Clint's unconscious body, knocking herself out as her head hit the coffee table, and Wanda deflected a bullet into Bruce's arm.
Bruce Hulked out.
"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH," bellowed the Hulk, silencing all, including Wanda. Thor's frying pan clattered to the ground.
The Hulk smacked Thor into a couch where he slumped over, out cold.
"Ze…. Circle…. Of liiif…" Wanda's voice trailed off nervously.
The Hulk reached into the pocket of his purple pants and calmly pulled out a roll of duct tape before picking up Wanda and placing a strip of tape over her mouth. He then set her gently on the couch and turned the TV onto the Nature Channel, settling down next to her.
And there they sat for a few hours in silence, big green monster and gagged Sokovian, until the others regained consciousness and stopped the recording.