Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is fanfiction.

Summary: Law has been searching for something he still hasn't found even after so many years. And now, he spends yet another lonely New Year in a familiar bar with only his memories of her for company.

Warning: Contains Fem!Luffy, LawLu, AU, so OOC, kinda shitty

TO WHERE YOU ARE

The cold evening breeze came with yet another New Year and he's back at the same bar where he spent every other New Year since he moved in this city. The minimalist décor was still the same as last year and the year before it. Bubbly balls were strategically littered overhead, barely noticeable with the sultry yet dim lighting. An old fashioned glass of a Bacardi dark rum concoction was on the table – not his usual choice for the season.

His golden eyes inadvertently scanned the area, missing naught.

She won't be coming anymore, huh.

Tattooed fingers lifted the glass to the tanned male's lips. He first sipped a little, then took a swig – the burning sensation of the high-proof alcohol crept on his throat. Gently, he laid the glass down and swirled its contents for the third time tonight. The dark brown liquor reminded him of the colour of her radiant eyes.

"Hey…uhh… Law, right? Enjoying the party?" Monet looked slightly tipsy, confirmed by the whiskey in her hand. He didn't want to talk but couldn't avoid her either at this point.

"… Yes, of course."

His forlorn tone failed to escape the green-haired woman's attention despite her inebriated state. She asked. "You don't need someone to be your girlfriend this year?" He wanted to ignore her. It was just uncomfortable to interact with women he had asked to pose as his steady before. It felt like he was being judged by them. So he simply answered, "It's unnecessary..."

She won't be coming anyway…

Before he can continue, Monet beamed at him, "Must have found a girl then! Come to think of it, you haven't been searching for one for the past year, right?" His eyes widened and all of a sudden, he was caught in a trance. But before he could respond, the woman had walked off to her friends who had just arrived.

It's true. He hasn't been looking for anyone serious for the past year, and if he would admit it, for the past years really. She was the only one whom he had truly been with.

The New Year had just come around when he first saw her.

He met her at a local diner. The tables were all taken that night and a girl wearing a straw hat begged him to share his table with her since the rest were occupied by three or more people, save for his spot. Not that he found her somewhat fascinating or cute – no, he really didn't care much so he shared his place with her –with that girl whose name he never found out that night. He hadn't really bothered to ask nor did she ever felt the need to say. But he remembers her animatedly engaging him to a conversation about topics that weren't really connected.

"See you around…uhh…Torao!"

Perhaps he may have said his name in passing that night but he didn't particular liked how she butchered his name, even if it strangely felt nice when she called him so. The next time they met was at the university he goes to. He had been talking to a particularly amiable guy whom he had been acquainted with during his undergraduate studies when the said guy's sister just came with a package on her hand. They were both surprised to see each other again, as well as the girl's brother who looked at them with a puzzled face.

"It's you…"

"Mhmm, you look really familiar…uhh… hmm… Ah, yes! Torao!"

"You two know each other?"

"He's the guy who gave me those extra Buffalo wings… the one I told you about the other day, Sabo-nii. He's so nice!"

"Oh, that Torao… I see. I guess I'll have to thank you for looking after our troublesome sister for a while."

"Hey now…"

"Ah, it was nothing."

It had been a brief meeting but at least he now knew her name – Luffy. And after that, he seem to have found her everywhere, at times he wouldn't expect. At first, he had been vain to suspect her of stalking him but later he found out that the spirited girl simply had friends all over the city. Her sunny disposition made her impossible to not be friends with. Without him noticing, he'd been part of her rather big circle of friends.

"Torao? Torao! Hi! How have you been?"

"We just saw each other yesterday at the mart, Luffy-ya."

"Oh, silly me…"

"It's okay. I'm fine, I guess."

"Ne, Torao are you busy this weekend?"

"Maybe… maybe not, why?"

"Oh… I thought I'd invite you to Franky's barbecue party. He makes a mean barbecue! And Sanji will be there too. I get so excited thinking all about those… "

"Oi, you're drooling…"

"Ah, careless me… Shishishishishi! So how about it? It's going to be really fun. There's also going to be grilled fish, just saying. I mean, it's just down the beach and it'll only be for a while, you know – "

"… Okay, I'll think about it."

"Great! See you then… Bon-chan? Bon-chan! How have you been…, "

Somewhere along the way, her energetic and bubbly personality grew on him. Their sporadic meetings had become more frequent. He began to notice her in a new light – how her long black hair would flutter behind her as she went for things she wanted without a care, how she would puff her cheeks and pout making her look adorable, how her eyes seem to sparkle whenever she speaks. But it was how she smiles that begun to take his breath away – it made his breathing hitch and made him feel oddly warm. It hadn't taken a while to figure out that the feeling was mutual.

"I don't know when it started but when I'm with you… my heart starts beating so loudly and so fast."

"Luffy-ya…"

"I think… I think I like you, Torao! I… uhh –"

Her words drowned as he kissed her that evening. It had been raining but they didn't care. All that mattered was each other. His body pressed against her as she kissed him back with equal fervor – like they had their own world. At that moment, it was all that they needed. They didn't think about how her brothers had been adamant about him, and that people think she was too young for him and he was too old for her. They didn't think about how their personalities and interests were too different from each other. They didn't think about those other unimportant things. It was just Luffy and Law, and nothing else.

"Lu… "

"Ace-nii, I really like Torao… I like him a lot."

"But he's too old for you, Lu! Who knows what he's thinking?"

"Ace…"

"You and Sabo-nii… you are my only brothers in this world and that you will always be. No one can take that away from us… I will always love you!"

"Luffy…"

"So it would really, really mean a lot to me if you won't be too mean to Torao and maybe try to get along?"

"…Ugh, okay… I get it. But if this guy hurts you… "

"I think Law is aware of that, right?"

"Don't worry."

It was a little bit like those whirlwind romance stories. It had only been three months since they first met and now they're moving in together. It could be because Luffy was too impulsive and Law wasn't much for subtlety. He continued to finish his professional degree under a scholarship while working part-time at a clinic. She, on the other hand, wasn't as studious and opted to join society early on, working jobs she enjoyed, albeit low-paying. But what had been important was that they were together and that they hold each other dear.

"So what was this monkey totem for again?"

"Ah, that… I think I won that from a fair. I had to like shoot the bull's eye twice before the old guy gave up the price. But I won it anyway!"

"I see but is it the monkey supposed to have one eye only and a bunch of termites living inside it?"

"WHAT? Oh…"

"Well… "

"I guess it has to go… "

"Hah… don't worry, we'll go the fair this year, right? They will probably have more prices better than this."

"Really? You're the best, Torao!"

"Don't…"

But while they were perfect, life hasn't exactly been as perfect. The bills soon piled up and their schedules clashed. The small things that were thought adorable had become a cause for an irate mood. They'd argued and though they eventually make up, the rift had been slowly forming only fueled by his expectations and her limitations.

"I thought you'll call that plumber you know and have this fixed before I come back."

"I'm sorry! I really forgot – won't happen again!"

"How many times has this been happening?"

"I'll call him now…"

"Are you stupid? It's already too late! It's fucking midnight! I've been busy working and studying at the same time and you? What are you even doing?"

"I've been working hard too! It's just that I really forgot, okay?"

Were they even compatible in the first place, he began to wonder. The warm feelings were there which he could even call love. But what about the future? Is she really good enough for him? Are they really going to work out long-term? Law had begun entertaining such questions in his mind. While the cause had always been trivial, their small fights had become more frequent.

Are we really right for each other?

As Law thought of Luffy more poorly each day, he begun to see her in a new perspective. Through his new lens, he thought it immature how she'd pout in attempt to get her way. He thought it strenuous to deal with her childish antics. He thought it annoying how she's just do things without thinking. He started to believe that who he actually needed was someone more mature, more unambiguous – someone who could fit his expectations.

He hadn't expected to feel so much pain when he had to say goodbye.

It had been raining when Law finally told Luffy how he thinks he really felt and that he was leaving for another city for his residency program and eventually to work there – for his career. For once, he tried to subtly explain to her that they weren't really meant to be and what they had would soon pass. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he felt she was holding him back and that Luffy wasn't good enough.

"Why? I don't understand, "

"I'm sorry..."

Seeing Luffy cry churned his stomach with guilt. But Law had already decided to go through this, to move on, hoping this will be the right thing to do for the both of them – at least for him. Despite how his heart felt torn, despite her heartbreaking pleas – he had left Luffy, both soaked in their tears and the rain.

The months spent together ended in an apology.

After that night and the chaos that ensued after – they accidentally met again, a year after all that had happened. Law had been surprised to see her smiling face directed to him. He thought Luffy would resent him and never talk to him again – he was the one who left, he supposed. But it had been unexpectedly so easy to talk to her again, catching up. Luffy says she has already forgiven him and moved on. Law tries his luck, asking her for her friendship despite everything. Luffy surprisingly obliged.

"So have you been… uhh… seeing anyone lately?"

"…Yeah, it's great. She's great."

"Ah, I see. That's really good to hear."

"How about you? Seeing anyone?"

"Oh, I'm good. I got a little busy, you see. Work, shishishishi!"

He lied. There was no one. Although there's a voice within Law, urging him to tell her the truth, Law ignored it in an instant and accepted the 'now' he paved for himself. With only himself and his career in mind, each day passed smoothly. Law would occasionally hook up every now and then but he never really had another girlfriend since, not that he finds it hard to get into a relationship, he insists to himself. He just hasn't found the one.

I'll know it when I see her.

It surprised him yet again when he found Luffy again around the holidays. A friend invited him to an annual New Year party held in a certain bar. Law didn't really have an idea how to spend the holidays so he came. It just so happened that he chanced upon one of his flings in the party. So when Luffy came by, he introduced the woman beside him as his new girlfriend. He just wanted to show Luffy that he had truly moved on.

Luffy seemed to have taken the information well and simply told him she's at that city because one of her brothers were there as well and she had just been visiting a friend of hers in that party. He remembers her saying it was a Tony or something. She was basically telling him that she wasn't there because of him.

But since then, every New Year, at that same bar and at that same party, Luffy would come. And Law too would come, with another woman and another story of their supposed forever. And she would just hang out for a while then leave when morning comes. At first, it baffled him. Though he had an idea, he couldn't be so sure. But when the fourth New Year came, it finally became clear to him why Luffy came by every New Year.

"I don't know why... but I still love you. I tried to forget you and move on. I tried to meet other people and fall in love with them. I tried to convince myself otherwise. But in the end, you're the only man I've ever loved this way."

Law had known of Luffy's feelings for him but he was still taken aback. He had not expected her to confront him. Law had always thought that Luffy would slowly forget about him over time and finally accept that it was all over between them. Although Law had been touched by her confession, and wanted so much to take Luffy in his arms and kiss her right there and then, he remembered why he had left in the first place. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly, hoping to end it all – for his good and hers.

He hadn't expected to feel like his heart have ripped in two after that. He hadn't expected to have so many sleepless nights after that. But he was the one who ended 'them' again.

And now it's been two years since he last saw Luffy. She never returned. They never sent each other any messages nor saw each other. Law thought he could finally went on with his life. But it hadn't made things any better – it made him feel empty.

Incomplete

Now at the prime of his life, Dr. Trafalgar D. Water Law has become a full-pledged surgeon. At this point, he couldn't really ask for more. But he knows there's something missing, that there's something lacking. The voices Law had been ignoring for long gnawed at his heart. He didn't want to admit but he missed Luffy. But he kept on with his life and kept on looking for the woman he thinks he deserves. However, Monet's words rang in his head.

Come to think of it, you haven't been searching for one for the past year, right…

As Law mused alone this New Year, sitting on a lonely stool at the bar and drinking a strong liquor in a party, he questions the decision he made roughly six years ago. Why does he feel this way? What was he really looking for?

Has he really not found it yet?

His eyes glistened as he finally realized the answer after all those years.

-End-