It hurts so fucking much.

I could barely move my body without a horrible flash of pain ripping through me. It was my second day in the hospital and I've only gotten up once to go to the bathroom. I would have gone more, because using a catheter is uncomfortable and beyond embarrassing to the point where you couldn't believe it, but the pain is too much for the small relief of embarrassment. I found out on the second day that Tobio had to stay at the hospital too, he said something about getting stomach ulcers from all the stress and it made me feel really bad. It's my fault for putting all this stress on Tobio in the first place.

"The doctor suggests for both of you to start seeing a psychologist to help with all the shit that's been going on. And don't even think about fighting me on this, Tobio. I've already got enough shit to deal with because of you."

"Honey! Don't you dare be mad at Tobio for this, he was trying to protect his frie- I mean boyfriend. Show some sympathy."

Tobio's parents bickered with each other from the plastic chairs leaning against the wall. It was their turn to "supervise" us. I gripped his hand as hard as I could, which - sadly - wasn't that tight because of all the drugs in my system.

"Fine, I'll go see the fucking psychologist, but don't you fucking dare think about blaming this on me or Shouyou," the tension is visible in Tobio's back and how hard he's clenching his jaw. I can't help but feel bad about getting Tobio involved in all of this. It has gotta be really stressful on him, not to mention scary and overwhelming.

Tobio and his father held eye contact with each other for a moment, silently conversing, the whirring of machinery the only noise breaking the silence. I want to comfort Tobio but I don't know how. His loud sigh startles me and he drops his head to rest on the blanket covering my thigh, I involuntarily shiver even when I try to suppress it. I know Tobio could feel it and he shifted, resting his cheek on the mattress and staring at me blankly. With a horribly and annoyingly shaky left hand, I reach out slowly, setting it on Tobio's head. His eyes flutter close and Tobio grunts, nudging my hand impatiently. I'm smiling without realizing it as I card my fingers through his hair; it's gotten longer, stopping just below his jaw in the back and falling into his eyes. And it's strangely coarse despite it's silky appearance.

"Your hair's longer." My voice sounds croaky and I clear my throat in embarrassment. Tobio cracks an eye open for a moment before making another noise and closing it.

"So's yours, dummy." I stop my hands movement for a moment, pouting.

"It's not long, it's just poofy ."

"Mph." He nudges my hand again and I study his face as I get back into the mindless movement. It's an easy distraction from all of the feelings bubbling up inside. I'm not sure if I should be happy that that guy is in jail, or upset because he had to try and take me one more time before I left, or hopeful that I can finally move on, or angry that he did that to me. I'm not sure of anything anymore and even more so if I should try to figure out what's going on inside of me.

Yet somehow, without my notice, a week passes by and I'm at home cuddled next to Tobio, staring absently at the TV. I've been excused from school for another week, which is when I will also be starting physical therapy for my shoulder. We keep it in a sling most of the time so that I don't use it by accident and strain anything, but I'm not wearing it at the moment.

"I went to volleyball practice this morning," I lifted my head from Tobio's shoulder and stared at him, his eyes still locked on the TV. "Everyone's worried like hell about you, Shouyou. Sugawara said they wanted to visit but he didn't want to overwhelm you by bringing them all to the hospital." I frowned at the detached tone in his voice.

Staring at my boyfriend for just a second longer, I nuzzled back against his shoulder, reaching over and squeezing his hand.

"Maybe you should tell them they can come over here whenever to visit when you see them tomorrow morning. I mean, they are our friends after all." His eyes were wide in shock as I stared back into them, a small smile on my face. "It'll be okay, Tobio. We can do this together."

"Yeah," his voice cracked halfway through into a choked off sob. "Together." The tears spilled out and Tobio tried to rub them away angrily; I caught his hand, bringing it to my face and kissing his palm as my eyes began to water as well.

"I love you," he tugged me into a desperate kiss, trying to be mindful of my injury as I held him just as tightly. Tobio sobbed the words back to me with his face pressed into my neck, for sure getting snot all over me like I was getting it on him. We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Tobio's heavy heartbeat vibrating through his chest so loud that I could feel it against mine. His muscles contracting under my hands with each sob that escaped him, and murmured words of encouragement pouring out of my mouth absentmindedly as we slowly swayed back and forth. Our breathing heavy and choked, loud like the blood rushing through our ears like a waterfall. Tobio smelt like sweat, deodorant, and something that was just Tobio .

It wasn't until after we were discharged from the hospital that I realized just how much Tobio had changed because of me. He tried so hard to hide it from me.

I had been leaning against the wall, watching Tobio untie his shoes and set them next to mine. He would always come back right after school ended again. I hadn't said anything but I knew that Tobio had been skipping out on volleyball practice. It's likely that coach had been turning a blind eye to it, because of everything that has happened, but I didn't think it was good for Tobio.

Volleyball is our life; an outlet for all of our anger and frustration, it keeps us sane. I can't wait to get back into volleyball, feel the sting in my hand after spiking. Staring from above the net to see the shocked faces of our opponents. The adrenaline rush is addicting, and I know Tobio loves it too.

I have a feeling that he was so hesitant to play again because of the memories tied to… that person . Tobio told me all about how much he had admired them in middle school and wanted them to teach him. It's kind of funny how similar our original admiration for that person had been before crap hit the fan.

So -without thinking much about the outcome- I asked Tobio about volleyball, almost demanding why he's been neglecting to play.

"You've been coming home pretty early lately," almost instantly his body stiffened. He didn't turn to look at me. "Practice been short lately? Or have you been skipping." I knew that my tone was way too accusatory and that I shouldn't have said that. I should've asked what was wrong and tried to understand what was going on inside Tobio's head.

"Are you calling me weak?" His tone was irritating and rude; I took the bait almost instantly.

"I'm calling you a coward for letting what happened keep you from enjoying what you love! Tobio, you're letting him win! The fear you feel is letting him control you!" Tobio whipped around, face pulled back in a sneer.

"I am not afraid of him!" My fists clenched and I looked away, huffing out my response as my voice cracked.

"Well I am… and I wouldn't blame you for being scared too." My eyes felt watery and my voice shook with emotions.

"I've been scared of him since the first time he r-raped me and I've only gotten more scared as time passed. Even now, even though he's locked up, I can't help but be afraid. Can't help wondering if I'm going to wake up and be back with him, that meeting you and going to Karasuno was all a dream. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let it control me anymore!

"It's been too long, Tobio. And I don't think I can live with this fear consuming me every second of the day. I need to play volleyball again, so I can remember what it's like to be free and able to fly. So… won't you play volleyball with me again, Tobio?" His hands are clutched in mine and my voice has fallen weak and hesitant, raw with unshed tears. I try to get him to look at me but he just stares at our hands. Something coils in my stomach.

"Tobio?" Even to my ears my voice sounds broken and lost and it makes me so angry that I could shout, but I don't. Tobio squeezes my hands and holds them up to his face, pressing kisses on them gently. My cheeks flamed up almost instantly but I stand still and watch Tobio fondly, feeling my heart flutter at the gentle show of affection. He's a lot more sweet and affectionate than I had first imagined, seeing how cold and standoffish Tobio usually is. I guess that's why it makes me feel special for being the only one to know about this side of him.

"Okay," Tobio whispers against my hands, tickling me with the buzzing of his lips. "I-I'll try my best."

"Yeah… me too."

"HINATA! SENPAI IS HERE TO SAVE YOU!" I'm practically body-slammed into the couch by two hurling masses of muscle and energy known as Nishinoya Yu and Tanaka Ryunosuke. After the initial sensation of getting the wind knocked out of me I wrapped my arms around them to return their bone crushing grips.

"Hey guys," I wheeze out between giggles. Some of Noya's hair gets into my mouth and I struggle to spit it out, making the two second-years pull back and laugh. Noya touches his hair with a look of mock disgust on his face.

"Shouyou, you freakin' slobbered on my hair. How could you," I couldn't help giggling… I really missed these guys.

"You wouldn't imagine how much he drools in his sleep sometimes."

"Tobio!" I threw a book from the table at my boyfriend leaning in the doorway. It fell short about half a meter, and he snorted. I blew a raspberry at him, getting spit on myself and the two people next to me. I rubbed the spit off myself and shot Noya and Tanaka a sheepish look.

"Whoops."

"Good to see you're doing better, Hinata."

"Suga! Daichi!" I smiled at the two third years that appeared in the doorway, Tobio having moved in further and slotting himself into the couch next to me, shoving a grumbling Tanaka to the side and almost off the couch. They returned my smile and Tobio snuck his hand in mine, squeezing it gently. I squeezed back.

"It's been awhile. How… how is everyone?" I cursed myself for hesitating and felt Tobio squeeze my hand again. The two moved in, Daichi taking a seat in a cushioned chair across from us and Sugawara sitting on it's armrest. They watched me expectantly, the familiar hidden look of pity and concern in their eyes that made my stomach churn. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but since coming back from the hospital I've just felt sort of… empty.

Like the tension inside myself just snapped after being pulled tight for so long that I can't even remember what it feels like to be normal.

"Been doing just amazing ! You should've seen that killer spike I did the other day!" In other circumstances, Tanaka's grin would seem feral, all teeth and mouth stretched wide; but the way he was flexing and puffing out his chest looked so awkward and unnatural that it could only be teasing.

"Not to mention my ROLLING THUNDER! " Tanaka and Noya roar in unison, pumping their arms in the air aggressively. From my peripheral I can see Suga and Daichi cringing, looking embarrassed to have brought the other two with. Or maybe just being associated with them. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Maybe we should've brought Tsukishima and Yamaguchi instead. At least they listen," Daichi shoots the trouble makers a very pointed look. Suga smiles at me awkwardly.

"These two have been even more noisy than usual without having you at practice, Hinata," Suga admits with a dramatic sigh. One that looses its intended affect with his grin. Tobio snorts, muttering so I can hear.

"Should've seen Daichi's face when they kept on getting in trouble." I try to hide my smile as Noya and Tanaka pipe up to try and defend themselves. They start speaking at the same time, so the words are jumbled and confusing. Even more so when they speak one at a time. Daichi and Suga were actively being bated into the argument.

"-Somebody had to protect the pork buns!"

"That doesn't mean you eat them !"

"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?" There's a loud thumping noise followed by a child running into the room and ramming into Tobio's chest, almost like a mini battering ram.

"Urk."

"Natsu!?"

"Nii-chan!" She smiles up at me widely, happily using Tobio's lap as a suitable chair replacement. I mean, I would too. Said chair rubs at his chest and mumbles complaints. Natsu glances around, frowning at all the other people in the room. "Who're these people?"

"They are my friends from the volleyball club, Natsu. They came to say 'hi' since we haven't seen each other in a while." Natsu makes a face, putting her little hand on my arm. Her skin was a couple shades darker than mine, seeing how unbalanced and random my eating habits have been lately.

"'Cause Nii-chan was in the hop-sital," I can only smile sadly and squeeze her hand.

"But now we'll make sure your Nii-chan gets better, right, Natsu-chan?" Suga squats down to eye level with my sister, giving her that gentle smile of his that puts people at ease. Natsu nods eagerly, suddenly jumping up with a determined look and hands on her hips. Tobio grunts at the sudden change in position, little-kid heels digging into his thighs not-too-comfortably.

"You better take care of Nii-chan or me and Tobio-nii'll hurt you!" Tobio sputters and blushes, looking at me with wide eyes. My face is bound to match Tobio's right now. That's the first time I've heard that nickname from Natsu. Tobio-nii huh? I can't help but snigger. Suga chuckles in amusement, nodding to Natsu enthusiastically.

"You must be really strong to protect your Nii-chan like that. We'll be good Natsu-chan, I promise." Natsu practically beams at the compliment, puffing up her chest and making her face go slack, trying to look all cool and collected. I remember Natsu telling me awhile back that the pose she's doing right now, was her impersonation on Tobio. Of course, I had her show Tobio after she came back from school telling stories about how she used the pose on other kids when they were mean to her. After his initial shock, Tobio seemed almost proud of Natsu. It was incredibly endearing to watch them interact with each other.

"Yeah." Seemingly satisfied, Natsu hops off the couch -Tobio's legs- and runs off without another word. I stare at the empty doorway for a moment before shaking my head and sighing, but it feels nice to joke so freely. I'm happy that Natsu's feeling better too. She was really scared for me during everything and I feel bad for causing it. Heck, I feel bad in general. Making Natsu feel this way is just icing on the cake, gosh darn it.

Damnit, those are depressing thoughts. Go away depressing thoughts!

"Hinata," I meet Tanaka's gaze, tilting my head in question. "You didn't tell us you had a sister! She's like a miniature you!" Noya jumps in, looking excited.

"Except cuter!" I pout to hide my smile. Here's my chance!

"Nishinoya-senpai, are you saying that I'm not cute?" I hear Tobio mutter an ' oh shit ' as I give Noya the best puppy eyes I can muster. We can see the second my words register in his brain as Noya's face goes from excited to horrified in a split second, seeming to glance at Tobio in fear before looking back to me and spouting out excuses. This is going to be fun-ny.

"No no no no no no- you're cute, I mean- you're not not cute- what I'm saying is- well I just-"

"You're digging your own grave at this point, Nishinoya." Daichi finally speaks up, looking very smug and amused at our antics. Noya's face pales when Tobio cracks his knuckles, face solemn with a deadpan stare.

" Fuck ."

"Fuck is right, Noya. You're gonna die." Tanaka looks almost equally distraught as Noya does, backing away slightly so he's farther away from Tobio. And thus, outside of the potential range of fire.

"Now I know that you are Shouyou's friends but, please , mind your language." Noya whips his head over to the doorway to my mother, and makes a croaking noise in his throat. I wave at her with my free hand, smiling so hard that it makes my cheeks hurt. I can see her eyes soften when she looks at me, a small smile in her loving gaze.

"Hi mom! How was your day?"

"Not as exciting as yours seems to be, Shouyou," she glanced at Nishinoya and Tanaka as she spoke, stepping further into the room and up to me to kiss my forehead.

"Mom!" I hiss out in embarrassment, cheeks hot, but I still smile. This playful banter makes me feel light and almost like nothing ever happened. She shoved me lightly into Tobio.

"I never see you complaining when Tobio does it-"

"MOM!" Well, it's not wrong.

"She's not wrong, Shou." Damnit, Tobio. Why you got to be like that?

"Who's side are you on, Tobio?" Tobio just sort of shrugged, giving me a sideways glance and his signature smirk. Damn. I never realised how hot that was.

"I'm on my own side. One that's often in agreement with your side." I leaned back away from him, faking hurt with a dramatic pose.

"Gah! You hurt me, Tobio!" I turn my head slightly and catch Noya's eyes, joyfully egging him on. "Noya-san! Save me!" I fell back towards Noya, knowing full well he would catch me. Although, I was, in fact, surprised when Noya stood up sweeping me off the couch with him and cradling me against his chest. Am I really that light? Or is Nishinoya secretly ripped and packed underneath his clothes?

Stop right there, brain. You have a boyfriend with glorious muscles. Now is not the time to ogle.

"Worry not, Shouyou! I'll save you! Let us run away together; our love will stay pure!" By now I was biting back giggles, everything felt all floaty and high with a rush that pooled in my abdomen. My mind was blissfully blank as I basked in the delightful glow. I flashed Tobio a smile from Noya's arms, throwing my own around his neck.

"Sorry, honey. 'Got me a new man now. See you at the wedding!" I raise my hand in a small wave, cheeks aching and heart pounding. It's making me feel a little lightheaded.

"Damnit, Nishinoya," Tobio's mouth was twitching in a smile when he tried to stay serious. "One-upping me like that's a low move." Noya snorted, grin smug and teasing. Tobio raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "On the other side, it looks like I don't have to save up for a ring."

Time stopped. His voice cracked a bit at the end, wide eyed and clamping his mouth shut mid-tomato-metamorphosis. The air was stiff and the previous mood was zapped out of existence. My heart was pounding for a whole different reason now. I wiggled out of Noya's arms and blurted out my words that no doubt everyone was thinking.

"Wait, are you serious?" I planted myself in front of Tobio, who fidgeted nervously.

"I mean-yeah… if-if you wanted too, wh-when we're older, maybe -I… I don't know," he briefly met my eyes and his looked so vulnerable and hopeful. There was a tight squeezing in my chest followed by a full body shiver that sent blood rushing to my face, ears, neck, the whole thing.

"Oh! I- um, sure! Um, well I… uh," Not really knowing what to do in this situation, I fell down onto the couch next to him, quickly pressing my whole body against Tobio in a tight hug. My lips were right next to his ear, "I-I think I'd like that, too, maybe."

"O-okay," Tobio wrapped his arms around me just as snuggly, no doubt hiding his face in my neck. He whispered in a shaky voice, "I love you, Shou. I really, really do. Please don't forget that." He sounded so vulnerable and scared, voice cracking with emotion that made my eyes hurt. I whispered back to him.

"I won't forget because you'll always be here to remind me. Because we'll do this together, right?" I pulled away and kissed him gently, pressing our foreheads together, trying to convey the love that has grown inside me. It flourished and bloomed under Tobio's care, weaving us together to form a bond that I've never felt before. One that made my chest ache for confusing reasons and body shake from all the honest affection Tobio shows to me. He opened himself up with every intention to show me that I was worth loving, that he loved me, even if I didn't. Handed himself over to dirtied and broken hands that could have hurt him in so many ways. That have been hurt in so many ways. Blindly trusting me to not hurt him because he knew -even at my worst- I never could. Tobio stayed by me and tended to my wounds when I hurt, holding me when I cried, praised me when I felt worthless, and swaddled me in sentimentality urged on by love.

Love I didn't think I deserved, but would take as long as it was given.

"I love you, too, Tobio. Together we are invincible."

Tobio hummed deep in his chest, leaning back against the couch and resting his hands on my hips; which were straddling his legs casually. I kept my hands seated comfortably on his neck, Tobio smiled gently. We sought each other out for physical contact and reassurance like we were touch starved. Hand-sy in a completely different way, and clingy to all get-out.

"Ya' know, I'm always surprised by how beautiful you are, Shouyou. You're so kind spirited, too. Makes you all the more beautiful." The smile cracked my cheeks, showing my dimples in the pinkish skin. How blood can heat up so much of my face without making me feint, I don't know. I gave him an appreciative look up and down, grin turning cheeky.

"Speak for yourself. I've got to leave some of the good looks for you, too." Tobio breathed out a chuckle and I shivered in pleasure at the affectionate petting of his hands on my back. "I never really pegged you as the sappy type, Tobio. Although I can't say that I'm complaining, it's cute."

"Mm," I leaned in for a little eskimo kiss, nuzzling our noses together. We stayed there frozen like that, eyes closed and finding comfort in the proximity of the other. Tobio's breath was warm and gentle against my neck, the hairs standing up on edge, goosebumps forming with each exhale. It has been awhile since I've been able to just sit in silence like this without any thoughts interrupting and no doubt worrying me. I think Tobio's feeling the same thing, if the content smile and completely lax posture can account for anything. Not feeling the tension in his body helps me relax too, drooping lower slowly.

"Get a room!"

"Shit!" Tobio jumped, suddenly gripping me tight enough to make me wince, Noya having scared us out of the pleasant moment. I had jerked and cracked our foreheads together; now I rubbed at it absentmindedly.

"Noya! Don't be rude," Suga batted his hand against the back of Noya's head, that disapproving-mom-look on his face. He mumbled an apology under his breath. Tanaka looked absolutely livid.

"How can my two underclassmen have such a more successful first relationship than any of mine ever were? Why does the world hate me!"

"Tanaka!"

"Hey! Not in Hinata-kun's house! Now is not the time!"

"Now is the perfect time!"

"GUWAA!"

"Daichi! Help me stop them!"

"I'm trying-"

"WELL TRY HARDER!"

Tobio leaned back in, whispering to me again but staring at the commotion, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

"Shouyou, I think we should leave." I pouted, pushing back to raise an eyebrow at him.

"But this is my house." Tobio raised an eyebrow back.

"Which is being overrun by monkeys."

"... Fair enough. Are your parents going to be home tonight?" I slumped forward and snuggled into his shoulder, shifting more of my weight onto him through my legs to relieve pressure off of my back. Tobio didn't seem to mind, scooping me into his arms and tugging me closer.

"Mom's going to pop in later tonight to rest up and take a shower, but dad got stuck with a double shift and said he was just going to crash in the break room."

"So… we leave now?" I didn't really want to get up, clinging tighter and whining in the back of my throat.

"Yes, please. " And before I could protest, not that I would, I was picked up for the second time today. This time getting a free ride out.