Crush or be Crushed fans - I'm so sorry, I've barely been inspired for the story, whereas I have for this one :/ dilemmas. I will refuse to update this story until I churn out a chapter of CobC though, I promise

'The stars,' she whispers, 'blindly run;

A web is wov'n across the sky;

From out waste places comes a cry,

And murmurs from the dying sun.

Day 45

Selene opened her eyes slowly. Bar the mild cold, she felt kind of snug. Leaning up and groaning lightly, she almost fell out of the branch she had perched herself into the night prior. She didn't know if it was shock or morning sickness, but as she looked at the canopies that surrounded her and the dark forest floor beneath she suddenly realised that she'd spent her night in a tree.

Hardly a five star luxury resort, but at least she was alive.

After Oscar had fled, she had found herself near surrounded by Walkers. She had nothing to fight them with, and even if she did she wouldn't have known how to use it. She just ran. And when the coast seemed clear she had no idea where she was. The forest wasn't just creepy, it was large, and she had no idea how to navigate it unlike some of the others back in the camp did. When the dead could creep up on you while you slept, Selene decided to take no chances and she climbed up the nearest tree. Judging by the signs of the earlier cracks of dawn in the sky, she hadn't slept for long.

Carefully grabbing onto the thick branch, Selene flailed her legs until she got a foothold. She felt scared, but there was no Oscar, Wendy, Jermaine or Mari to support her this time. She purposely regulated her breathing, clambering around until she was safe (or somewhat safe) on the ground. After casting a glance around the proximity, where there was nothing but emptiness and trees, Selene concluded she was safe for now. She just needed to find a way back to camp.

Hopefully there would be food there. Selene didn't know if it was hunger or morning sickness, but she did not feel good.

She didn't rate her chances. No food or no weapons meant that your days were numbered when civilisation collapsed and was replaced by the flesh eating undead. But she knew she could hang in there. She hadn't been in a good place emotionally, but she knew she could survive. She got into an Ivy League College, so she liked to think she was pretty smart. Keeping quiet, Selene wandered around until she found a big enough stick. Then she tried finding a sharp stone. She spent the next half hour trying to sharpen the stick until it could be used as some kind of weapon.

She twisted the stick around, looking at the jagged ending. It wasn't as good as a knife, but it would have to do.

Selene wandered around with no direction, pausing when she saw a small trail of dry blood trailed along the forest floor. She didn't know if she wanted to follow that or not. Feeling terror grip hold of her, terrified that the blood belonged to someone from her camp or even her own brother, Selene slowly and hesitantly traced the trail. After ten minutes she found the source of it.

Not somebody from her camp, but it was still a disturbing sight.

It was a corpse. Thankfully not one that walked and ate. It was slumped against a tree, eyes and mouth wide with terror. Selene winced and tried not to vomit when she saw a big chunk of head missing, dry blood and brain plastered against tree bark. Trying not to gag from the smell, Selene noticed the backpack that was strapped to him. She leaned down, noticing the front zip was already opened. There was nothing in it.

Horror dawned on her briefly and Selene realised she was in a lot more danger than she thought. The dead guy wasn't holding a gun, which meant he didn't kill himself. And if all his supplies had been taken...

Retching slightly as the smell of corpse overpowered her, Selene squeezed tears from her eyes.

But she saw there was another zip on the backpack. One that the person who killed this guy must have missed, some kind of oversight. Her hands shaking, Selene quickly opened it and almost cried more fervently with relief. There was some tinned food in there. And two bottles water. And even a flashlight. She carefully pulled the backpack away from its original owner, standing up and staring at it in horror as a cockroach crawled out of the corpse's mouth.

She did not want that to happen to her.

Managing to feel both more optimistic and more pessimistic than she had before, Selene turned away from the corpse and walked away from the trail of blood with an even quicker step. She was more alert, too. She knew that with Walkers she had to be on high alert, because they seemed to come out of nowhere. But they were dumb and they weren't against making a lot of noise. They didn't have guns which they could fire from a long range, either. But humans didn't have those drawbacks. And there would some people out there who would kill her for the tiniest morsel of food.

Selene took a few measured tips of water, exhaling with relief, before continuing down the forest. She almost stumbled over a root, but kept her balance. She wanted to run. Maybe it would help her find camp quicker. But she could also run into the arms of a Walker or a dangerous human. Selene wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to repress a sob. The panic she had held at bay was finally setting in.

She was so royally screwed unless she had a brilliant plan.

After trying to calm herself, Selene saw something that suddenly made her realise that she could not stay calm when she laid eyes on a gun. A gun that rested in a puddle of blood. She knew whose gun that was.

That was Oscar's gun.

She leapt forward, grabbing onto it and seeing that it was coated in blood. What the hell had happened? No. Not Oscar...

Sobbing, she held the gun close and ran deeper into the forest, trying not to scream.

The September rain fell like mist, adding to the gloomy aura that had pervaded the campsite since they had lost two prized members. Everybody was either hidden away in their tents, coping with last night's events in their own manner, or they were miserably huddled around the campfire. Maige glanced at them wistfully for a few seconds before marching across the campsite, getting her shoes coated in mud.

Heading towards Mari, who was rummaging through the trunk of the Motts' silver mercedes, Maige kept her expression resolute despite feeling shaken inside. She'd come to realise that her father's death wasn't some tragic anomaly that only affected her. The whole world had gone to shit, and every single person alive would feel the stabbing pain of loss... over and over again.

"What're you doing?" Maige said, pausing when she saw the abundance of supplies that was nested in the car trunk. Mari threw multiple bottles of water aside before she picked up a stack of cans.

"We're not going to cook anything today," Mari seemed unusually distant. It were as if the rain had extinguished the inner fire that made Mari so exceptional. "So I guess we'll just resort to canned shit today."

"Better than nothing," Maige smiled, not wanting to mention the events of yesterday. Just when the camp felt so harmonised, it had become a mess. With Elena and Ilene dead, and Selene missing, it was three members down. Not just did the camp have to deal with grief and loss, but everybody felt some form of practical loss - including Mari. Nobody, except the guards, had even considered doing their usual chores. Alyssa couldn't handle all of the children on her own. There was a sense of anarchy, and any direction the group felt it had was dead and buried.

After grabbing the pack of cans, Mari used her elbow to close the car trunk. Maige leaned against the car slightly before she saw something concerning on the other side of the road: Jaime was there, digging a grave himself. He was evidently a shadow of his former self; his clean shaven face was now covered in fuzzy facial hair, his hair had grown and was dripping wet as he desperately shovelled dirt aside.

"What's he doing?" Maige paused.

Mari looked over at Jaime, sighing.

"He must be digging a grave for Ilene."

"Where is Ilene?"

"No idea," she watched him for a few seconds, contemplating. "Maybe I really ought to stop him-"

"No," Maige gently grabbed Mari's arms, halting her. She sympathetically glanced at Jaime again. Everything about him radiated grief. "No, don't," she said gently. "I know what he's going through. I really do," she sighed. "And I think he needs his own time and his own space. He needs to mourn his own way," Mari and Maige both watched Jaime from afar, silent as the rain covered them. "Because nowadays, getting to bury the people you love is evidently a novelty now."

They both watched him sullenly, wondering if he'll ever be the same.

The rain turned into a drizzle, which made being outside much more bearable albeit the atmosphere had somehow become even more gloomy. Wendy was starving as she made her way to breakfast, noting the miserable crowd that sat on the wet logs. Adam and Ellie were cuddled into each other slightly, miserably eating cold, bland looking beans directly out of a can. Opposite them, Alyssa was bawling into Han's chest, although he looked pleasantly neutral as per usual. There was no-one else to be seen.

She was kind of glad. She wanted to avoid the brunt of the mourning. She wasn't close to Elena or Ilene, but she felt the blow of their deaths by just looking at everyone else's faces. She didn't know if she could bare to see Jaime or Melanie right now.

... It was already kind of awkward that Selene was vacant, not in the spot she usually slept in.

For Oscar's sake, she hoped she was okay.

"-With Ilene gone and Selene missing," she heard Alyssa venting to her friends. "I-I have no-one left. I don't know what to do."

"I understand," Ellie mumbled, evidently not being able to conjure consoling words. What was there to say?

Wendy made no comment, but sat on the spot next to Alyssa. Alyssa stopped talking and gave Wendy a very peculiar look, before standing and sitting on the opposite side of Han, evidently trying to avoid Wendy. Frustration flared up inside her. What the hell did she do?

"What's up?" Wendy asked, forcing a cool tone.

Alyssa looked at Ellie and Adam awkwardly, both of them strangely avoiding her eye contact. Wendy could smell that something was up a mile away - naturally, the fact that Alyssa refused to be in her proximity was telling enough, but there was something that wasn't being said.

"Look, Wendy," Alyssa's hands were moving around, as if they were trying to find something to do. "I don't have anything against you, I don't," Wendy knew there'd be a but before Alyssa even said it. "But... Well, everyone in the camp isn't really your number one fan right now," Wendy opened her mouth to talk, but was interrupted. "I know it's not fair but nobody really likes Jermaine, and you're kind of... um... associated with him."

"I thought I left high school seven years ago," Wendy barbed.

Alyssa looked at her hands, ashamed. Han put his arm around her shoulders, silently looking at Wendy without commenting.

"I'm sorry, Wendy."

"Yeah," Wendy stood up. She didn't want to show it, but she was pretty upset. She hoped that the droplets of water that ran down her face would mask the tears she was trying not to cry. "Fuck you, too."

She grabbed one of the tins which was supposedly supposed to make up for breakfast and stormed away. She was on duty soon, anyway. Wendy knew she wanted to kick something or someone. She knew she wanted to cry. But what could she do? She stuck up for Jermaine once to make sure Mari didn't bloody her hands. She didn't know that would earn her the contempt of the people she thought she respected.

As she stormed across the grass, she bumped into Jermaine, who smiled upon seeing her.

"You wouldn't believe what Eli just found," he smiled welcomingly.

"Fuck you, Jermaine," Wendy snarled, glaring up at him. He looked taken aback.

"What did I do wrong?" He looked dejected. Kind of like a puppy.

"Exist," she snapped, barging into him as she stormed away.

Han watched after Alyssa, concerned. Adam and Ellie had withdrawn into their tent, obviously not wanting to soak up the depressive air that seemed to become more and more oppressive. Now Alyssa barely talked, but at least she wasn't crying constantly. But her silence was both rare and concerning - having lost Selene and Ilene, feel guilt for Eleanor's death and have a disagreement with Wendy, Han knew that Alyssa must have felt pretty isolated.

Sometimes she would turn on the waterworks again, at which point Han would awkwardly hug her close. He did feel her sadness, he did get why everyone was so upset, but he wasn't quite as affected. He only knew the group for a month, and he didn't really interact with any of them much bar Alyssa. Naturally, he felt for them. He really did. But he still felt a large discord between himself and everyone else. There was no deep emotional investment.

"This is just getting worse and worse," Alyssa sniffled.

"It'll get better," Han paused. But would it? Not while they sat around. But surely the outskirts of Buffalo were much safer than actually being in Buffalo. He wondered if the army had some kind of quarantine zone. That's what he'd expect. There'd be safety and shelter there, as well as medical facilities. Maybe if they had gotten to some kind of facility it would get better.

But until then... Would it get better? Would it be the same thing? Would the numbers in their group dwindle one by one until either Han died or he'd lose Alyssa and truly feel the sting of loss?

Alyssa didn't talk. She was just reduced to tears again. Conveniently, Oscar had made his way to the camp at that point. It was a surprise to see him - Han hadn't seen many people even come out of their tents. To see Oscar, who had a missing sister, was a mild surprise. Though, as expected, Oscar didn't exactly look mentally healthy. His fair skin had faded into a more extreme paleness, and he looked dishevelled and emotionally drained, even if he didn't show as many tears as Alyssa.

"Breakfast," Han smiled, jerking his head towards the pile of tins of the floor. Oscar glanced at them emptily. "If you want it."

"Thanks," Oscar picked one up, using the knife beside the pile to pierce the tin and open it.

Alyssa had stopped crying again. She didn't seem to acknowledge Oscar's presence. She just stared towards the forest emptily. Han hoped she would provide something comforting for Oscar to eat up, but how could somebody who required comforting provide it? He watched Oscar sloppily eat the unappealing looking meal awkwardly, wondering what he could say.

"Hey, Oscar?" Oscar glanced at Han. "How are you holding up?"

He shrugged, almost looking indifferent. But despite Han's lack of emotional intelligence, he knew that Oscar was definitely not indifferent. Selene must have been constantly on his mind.

"No news is good news," Oscar paused. "Eli is looking for her... So, yeah."

"Well, if you need to talk..."

"I don't."

Han smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, that's cool."

There was silence for the millionth time. Han realised how uncomfortable he must have made many people feel in the past, because he realised that the silence; the fact everyone was extremely reluctant to talk, silenced by sadness, had made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He held Alyssa somewhat tighter, hoping it would stop him from feeling awkward as she once again began to cry lightly.

Han noticed that Oscar hadn't seemed to finish eating, but upon glancing over his shoulder he stood and walked back towards his camp. He watched after Oscar, greatly confused for about three seconds before he realised Melanie was now sitting opposite him.

If Oscar looked bad, Melanie looked worse. She looked like she'd had her soul torn out, eaten and regurgitated back into her. A Prometheus incarnate.

However, her presence seemed to pick Alyssa up slightly.

"Melanie," Alyssa was taken aback, then relieved. "I-I thought we wouldn't see you for weeks," Melanie glanced at her blankly, devoid of the shy demeanour she usually had. Alyssa stumbled forward, trying to find the words to express herself. "I-I mean, when Maige lost Joe... I mean, how are you hanging in there?"

"You really think being nice fixes everything, don't you?" Melanie said, emptily. She picked up one of the tins, piercing it.

"Well..." Alyssa pulled away from Han slightly. "If you want to talk-"

"Yeah, I want to talk," Melanie looked at the contents of her tin numbly. "I want to talk about how I don't feel like I can trust this group anymore. None of you except Mari, anyway. I went out with all of you. And I was left to die," she paused. "First Chelsea. Then you, who I trusted. Then Oscar, who Elena trusted. We both trusted you, Alyssa. And now I'm beginning to wonder why. Why am I here if nobody here is prepared to help me?"

Han glanced awkwardly at Alyssa, who looked deflated and desperate.

"Mel, it wasn't like that-"

"Don't call me Mel, we don't know each other," despite the calmness of her tone, there was still fury in her voice.

"Melanie, I have to explain myself..."

"Explain yourself? You abandoned my sister, left her to die, to save your own skin." Melanie tipped the tin of beans over indifferently, watching the beans spill out and leak across the floor with a lack of interest.

Alyssa looked borderline horrified. Concerned, even.

"I did it to save Chelsea... She ran away, I wasn't doing it for myself," Han knew this to be the truth - Alyssa had cried to him about it repeatedly, and had also repeatedly expressed guilt over Eleanor's death. To have Eleanor's own sister pointing the finger must have buried the guilt into an even darker place. But Han also understood Melanie's skepticism, although judging by Melanie's enraged expression skepticism was putting it lightly.

"That kid wouldn't stick around to save you. Elena would. So who is worth saving?"

Alyssa stood up, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, okay? I can't offer anything but an apology... I'm... I'm so, so sorry."

Melanie threw the can to the floor. It rolled into the flames, and bathed in them, slowly attaining an orange hue. At first it seemed as if Melanie had nothing to say. Her usually shy, doe like features were twisted and cold, a void where emptiness inhabited.

"An apology isn't going to bring my sister back," Melanie concluded, turning around.

Alyssa snapped. Han knew she'd taken a lot of weight, had bottled a lot of feeling up. It was only normal that she'd eventually crumble, or stand up for herself when needed. He just didn't expect it to be so devastating.

"You know what would've brought her back? If you weren't a clutz."

"What?" Melanie paused, still facing away from them.

"Or maybe if you fucking tried harder," Han squeezed Alyssa's hand, his silent warning sign. She didn't take it. After shaking her hand away from him angrily, tears of rage littered across her face, she stood up to confront the mourning sister. "It's a little convenient that you can walk now? When you twisted your ankle it couldn't have been too bad," Han considered walking away from the confrontation. It was reaching an explosive territory the group had only witnessed once, when one member of the group pointed a gun at the other's forehead. He didn't want to be around for that. "If you weren't such a fucking baby Elena would still be alive and you know it!"

Melanie turned around, shaking with rage.

"You better take that back," she snarled.

"Why? I've offered you and everyone else nothing but support and you shit on me for it," Alyssa wiped her eyes slightly. "I've had enough of it."

"Oh, you think you're so unfortunate because people are calling you bad words?" Melanie laughed, stepping over the fire, slightly closer to Alyssa. "Please. You didn't lose a sister. You're lucky my knowledge of English swearing is not good, because there are some words in my native language I could use to describe you and they're not very good."

Alyssa also grew more enraged. Han didn't know if it was wise to guide her away or not. He was much bigger and stronger than Alyssa, but he was positive that his will for fighting was a lot smaller right now, and sometimes that was all that mattered.

"I would've never thought you were one self-absorbed little bitch Melanie. You don't know what I've lost."

"You're about to lose your teeth," Melanie said very calmly.

Despite the calm tone, Han immediately saw it coming. He tried to grab Alyssa and drag her away, but he should've done that five minutes ago; he was much too late. Melanie swung an impressive right hook that struck Alyssa perfectly in the cheek. Both girls shrieked, one in rage, one in pain. Before he knew it Alyssa was sprawled across his lap and Melanie had grabbed a fistful of Alyssa's hair.

Somebody stronger suddenly seized a snarling Melanie off a screaming Alyssa. Han barely had time to see Mari drag Melanie away, who still put up an admirable struggle as she shrieked in her native tongue. Glancing down awkwardly, he glanced at Alyssa, who was sobbing profusely as blood leaked out of her mouth.

"Maybe we should go into one of the tents," Han suggested uncertainly.

Melanie struggled savagely in Mari's grip, not able to break free from the much taller, stronger woman. Mari shoved Melanie into her small tent, but Melanie wouldn't give up her fight; she desperately wanted to hurt Alyssa for ever pointing the finger at her for her sister's death. Melanie knew who was responsible for her sister's death. Oscar... Alyssa... Ilene... Chelsea... Anybody but herself.

As Melanie hit the floor, sobbing, she realised why there was so much rage.

Because she blamed herself. A part of her knew she tried to get away after she'd tripped and hurt her ankle, she tried to hard to get away to save her sister... but was it enough? Could she have done more? Maybe she could've done something. Had she avoided tripping, there was a big chance that everybody except Ilene would have survived. Or she could've decided to not attend, to have spent just one hour without being attached to her sister's hip. She could've done something... anything. And Alyssa had made her snap by prodding into her deepest fears.

Mari turned, as if she were going to walk away, but she watched Melanie bawling and her heart hurt. There had been so much loss. And she felt like she couldn't do anything, but she knew she couldn't do nothing. She was always trying to pretend everything was okay.

Maybe, sometimes, the solution to making things better was acknowledging that they could be better.

She got to her knees. Melanie wanted to kick and scream at her - to kick and scream at the whole world - but she resisted when Mari stroked through her hair lightly, sympathetically. She didn't want to admit it, but it was nice. It was calming. It was like something Elena would've done.

"You know how in the movies I'm supposed to tell you how I feel, because I've felt it before," Mari's voice was hoarse, but in a strangely warm way. Melanie stared blankly at the tent walls, the tears still pouring from her eyes despite her newfound silence. "But truth is, I don't. The only thing I do know is that it must suck getting all the sympathetic looks... Having people pretend that they get a fraction of your pain. They don't know anything. And they're suffocating you, telling you what to do or how to feel. But all you need is air. I get that."

Melanie just nodded.

"I'm so lonely," she stated.

"If you need to talk..." Mari paused. "I respected Elena. She had my back, she followed orders but she wasn't afraid to tell me when I was crossing the line. She was a strong woman who took no bullshit, and she respected me. She was a big part of the group... I don't know how to replace her..." Somehow, that made Melanie cry even more fiercely. "I owe it to her to protect you. So if you need anything..."

"I'm tired of being protected," Melanie lamented. "When will I be able to do anything except be useless and cry?"

"You know that's not true-"

"Is it not?" Melanie turned to Mari, as if she were offended. "My sister and I had never had an easy life. But I had it easier. Because Elena was always by my side. As a kid I was quiet... a-and scared... and w-weak..." She looked at her bloodied hands and realised that some things never changed. "Our dad wasn't a good person. He beat our mother. Often. It's not uncommon in poor neighbourhoods like the ones we grew up in, but it happened and every single day I was scared for our mother."

"That's why Jermaine scares you," Mari didn't mean to talk out loud, but it clicked.

"I wish you shot him..."

Mari didn't say anything. She didn't know if shooting him was the right choice.

"My mother couldn't split apart from my father, she was too scared about how he'd react and without him we didn't have enough money," she explained. "S-So Elena and I lived in our Uncle's, just for a little while. There I discovered that I was smarter than most kids. I wasn't strong willed like Elena, but I could get good grades. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, to work tirelessly to get a job for the both of us. I wanted to go to medical school and be a doctor." She paused. "Even when we had to move back home I worked hard, but something... something went wrong... I heard fighting and gunfire. I knew my dad often threatened my mother with a gun, but I never expected him to use it!" She burst into tears.

"Shit," Mari said. "I... I'm so sorry," suddenly she realised Melanie had no family. Most other people in the camp probably had relatives out there, somewhere. But Melanie was condemned to a life of loneliness.

"My father had a gunshot wound to the head, too," Melanie paused. She seemed calm. "Elena was the one who called the police after a couple of hours and tried to calm me down, even though that was impossible. She told me he shot himself, but the way she told me what to say to the police and took forever to call them... I-I knew she did it herself. I never told her that I knew... But I did." She wiped her hands across her eyes, leaving a smudge of blood. "But I knew she lied to me to protect me. She was always there to protect me. She even moved abroad to the U.S.A to make money for me to come over here and have opportunity... everything she did was for me," she burst into tears. "I wanted to come here to tell her how much I appreciated it. She put everything on the line for me to excel... and it's all gone..."

Mari suddenly realised how shaken Melanie's world was - and it was already resting on weak foundations. She held Melanie close as the Filipino girl cried harder than ever before, as if she were being exorcised. She knew that she had to work hard for the group. Because they were all human... with human lives and histories and futures... She had a responsibility to make sure as many of them as possible got to a military camp or somewhere safely.

And she didn't know if Melanie was a lost cause. Who was Melanie without her sister to protect her at every turn? Mari didn't know. But this was a girl who had managed to get amazing grades and get into a medical school despite coming from an impoverished family in an impoverished country, despite having an abusive family, despite losing her whole family. Maybe there was a chance for her still.

It was the first time the kids had been given their own agency. With Ilene dead, Selene missing, and Alyssa in no state to look after anybody, Mari had given them their own tent and have given them specific instructions to not leave it unless it was to go to the bathroom. However, this new sense of independence had not been enjoyed. Jareck wanted to play, but Thomas was being his usual self and Chelsea seemed to be interested in nothing except her hands, which were spread across her knees as she sat down.

"Come on, come on," Jareck tugged at Thomas' shoulder. "Why don't we play?"

Thomas paused. "I don't think it's a good time to play. Last time we played, people died." He shook his head. "Why is everyone dying?"

Sierra suddenly entered the tent. She was holding a somewhat dirty looking juice carton, and was sucking from the straw despite the fact that there seemed to be no contents. She was much more cheery than her older peers.

"Hey," she smiled. Sierra had never interacted with the older kids much, and felt intimidated by them. They were all much bigger, stronger and played games differently. But they were nice to her. Especially Jareck.

"Hey, Sierra," Jareck looked uncomfortable. He scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry, by the way, about your mom..."

"My mom is fine," Sierra squeaked.

"Fine?" Thomas questioned.

Sierra seemed to catch onto the fact that something was up. "Yeah, she just went away back home to get my toys, my daddy told me," she looked at each of the kids. Jareck looked confused, Chelsea solemn and Thomas had tears in his eyes that glimmered like morose stars. "What's wrong?"

"Well..." Thomas paused. "What happened to my parents happened to your mom..."

Sierra hugged the juice box closer to her chest, as if were some safety blanket.

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't mean anything, Sierra," Chelsea snapped, glaring at Thomas angrily. "Why don't you give her a break? We all know what it's like to lose parents at this point," Jareck paused. He didn't know. Or at least he didn't think he did. "Let her have some breathing space, or at least prepare for what's to come," she knew from Sierra's innocent yet suspicious demeanour that they were treading on thin ice. For whatever reason, Jaime hadn't told her the whole truth, and they had to respect that. She still kept a harsh, restrictive glare on Thomas but said nothing else.

Sierra hung around for a second, as if she were hoping somebody would tell her what was happening. She left the tent, probably to find her grieving father. Thomas returned to his simpering self and Jareck watched as Chelsea slumped again, shutting herself away from the world.

Jareck liked to see the best in every situation or everyone. He'd always known deep down something was wrong, but now he knew that this whole thing wasn't some adventurous, mildly dangerous camping trip. They were essentially refugees who had fled from an uninhabitable New York City, but they were still in danger. And people around them were dying every single day.

Thomas had spontaneously burst into tears again. It all clicked to Jareck why Thomas had been sad about his parents. Whatever had happened to Joseph... To Ilene... To Melanie... That had happened to his parents. A part of Jareck had always acknowledged that, but now he was glaring reality right in the eye and fearing for the future. What the hell was going to happen?

"Chelsea," he turned to the fountain of knowledge amongst the children, scared. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"Stay in the tent like Mari told us to do."

"No," Jareck paused, his voice expressing defeat. The ray of sunshine he carried had suddenly been extinguished, replaced by seriousness. Even Chelsea had picked up on it. "I know we'd do that. But that's today. What about tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after, and the months and the years?" Chelsea suddenly avoided Jareck's gaze. "We've been stuck out here forever now. And it hasn't gotten better. In fact, it's gotten worse. What are those monsters out there? A-And what do we do? Where are the policemen to help us, or the doctors?"

"Everybody is gone," Chelsea said with gritted teeth. "And now it's only us left. Us and an army of strangers."

Thomas glanced at the two as they conversed.

"But what do we do?"

"I don't know, okay?" Chelsea snapped, putting a dark hand over her eyes so that the others couldn't see the tears. "I don't know anything. All I know is that my parents are probably dead out there. Most people are probably dead now. The world has gone to shit. And I don't know what to do about it." Jareck had never seen Chelsea so vulnerable. He crouched down to console her, though she swatted his hand away. "I know I like to act like a grown-up sometimes. It makes me feel confident and cool that way. But because there are no more adults people are suddenly expecting me to be an adult. But I'm just a kid. And I get scared and sometimes I fuck up."

He didn't know what she meant, but he put his arm around her shoulders. She seemed to just accept it.

"And now everybody hates me," Chelsea complained. "I can't save the day all the time."

"I'll never hate you," Jareck held her close. "Pinky promise."

The night had held the same stillness and defeat as the day. But as the stars had filled the sky the group were met with a sense of urgency; they may have lost members of their camp, but they had to move on as if nothing had happened. People had to toughen up unless they wanted to join the people they had lost. This anxiety had hit everyone as they sat around the campfire for dinner and went to bed.

But some people weren't moving on. Han observed them all over the mild light of the fire. Melanie may have shown how furious she could be, but underneath all the pent up rage she was now lost and without a family. Jaime was a wreck of the man he once was, soaked by the rain, his hair long as scraggly facial hair had shown how little self respect he now had for himself. The kids were silent, sitting around with the adults and not showing the child-like demeanour that brought life into the group. Oscar, somehow, had been the one who had concerned Han the most. Selene was gone, but Oscar didn't have the clarity of knowing if she was gone for good. His light eyes, darkened by fear, were always facing the forest, as if he were expecting Selene to traipse out of the forest like nothing had happened.

But Alyssa was the most affected. She hadn't lost any member of her family, but seeing all the death and destruction right in front of her eyes had meant she was only crying. She wasn't just crying for the past, for the regrets she held, but like Han she was worried for the future more than Han could comprehend. She hung around the campfire longer than the other had, and after Han had managed to usher her into his tent she only stared into a void.

After waking up, Han turned around and noticed the tent was empty. He usually shared it with Eli and Alyssa, though neither were in their sleeping bags. It was normal for Eli to be gone in the night - he was on duty, or he usually wandered around if he found he couldn't sleep. But Alyssa was always by his side. She seldom left the tent unless Han had left the tent first. He got out of his sleeping bag clumsily, rubbing his tired eyes as he looked around.

... Something wasn't right.

Han poked his head out of the tent. It wasn't morning, and the sky was still dark as night. But, unusually, the campfire was still lit. It was usually extinguished this time to keep Walkers away. The even more concerning thing were the two figures by the campfire.

Somewhat nervous, Han made his way to the campfire until he saw the two figures illuminated. Wendy and Eli looked comfy, slouched asleep, Wendy atop Eli slightly. He was certain he'd never seen Eli sleep before... ever.

"Eli," he slapped Eli's cheeks lightly, but Eli didn't stir. Concerned, he also shook Wendy. He tried to wake both of them up but it were almost like they were kept asleep. Han knew that there was something wrong. At least they both had a pulse. "Wendy, wake up."

After leaning up he saw another figure in the distance, close to the forest, facing the camp. He'd known the figure so well he'd know who it was if he saw her a million miles away. What the hell was Alyssa doing just standing there?

Something was seriously wrong. Maybe it was the cold of the night, but Han felt an ice inside him like he'd never felt before.

Han knew he couldn't just wait around for Alyssa. Protective instinct took over him and he almost ran towards her. Seeing him coming, Alyssa seemed to turn away and wander further and further away from the camp. Having adjusted to the darkness, Han had seen that Alyssa was weighed down by multiple backpacks. He hurried forwards to her, eventually intercepting her. He grabbed her freezing wrists.

"Alyssa," he paused. "Alyssa what the hell is up?"

He was scared by what he would see when she turned around slowly. She seemed paler. There was something different about her features; they were sinister and darker. He knew she had been crying.

"Why did you follow me?" She said, offended. She pushed him away slightly and made her way towards the forest. Not giving up on her, Han followed. Soon they had entered the outskirts of the forest. Alyssa seemed desperate to avoid Han, but he was slightly faster than she was.

"Alyssa, what's up?" Han paused.

"Go away!"

"Why do you have the supplies?" Han paused. And then he registered something.

Betrayal.

Alyssa turned around confrontationally.

"Just go away, Han!" She warned him. He knew she was trying to keep on a cold front, a villainous one even, but she looked more vulnerable than ever. It was obvious she had been crying. In fact, she looked like a wreck in general: vulnerable, tired, hungry and in no state of mind to make any decision. Han realised he had to talk her out of any rash decisions.

"Alyssa, look, I know what you're doing-"

She stepped away, almost as if she were scared of him. She was clinging onto something in her hand, though Han couldn't see it.

"I've had it with this group, Han," Alyssa was speaking rapidly. "I tried to make it work but it didn't work. I tried to make friends but they all die or turn against me or... or..." Every step he took, she backed away slightly. "Just stay away from me!" She snarled, though it didn't deter Han. "I have always been on my own since the day I was born and it took me this long to realise that's the way I ought to live. I can't live with anyone because it hurts... Just go away Han," she cried. Han eventually reached her and held her close. She clung onto him and sobbed.

"I saw Eli and Wendy making soup, I spiked it with some medication I knew Eli had been taking and I just want to get out of here..." He felt the wetness of her face against his neck. "I can't do this anymore."

"At least let me come with you," Han couldn't believe he was proposing it. "W-We can go together... Just don't go out into the dark alone..."

"I have always been alone," she pulled away, looking into his eyes. She seemed calmer, as if she knew what she had to do. "T-That's the way it has to be. You can't come with me or you'll get hurt."

"Alyssa-"

"I'm not letting you come with me!" She insisted. "I-I don't want to lose you..."

"I'm not going without you," Han held onto both of her hands. He felt something sharp and tried to prise it out of Alyssa's hands. She still stayed in place, suddenly. For the first time since the outbreak, Han felt hurt. He knew there was something at stake. He'd obviously been worried for his family, but they were all the way in California; for all he knew, they were safe for now. But Alyssa was right there in front of him and he couldn't let her go. He'd never cared for somebody so much before. "We can go back to camp and fix things and forgot this happened..." He sucked in a breath. "Or we can go. The both of us. But we're not going to be apart."

She shook her head, suddenly devastated.

"I'm so sorry Han," she pulled away. "I-I didn't mean for it to end like this."

He looked at her confusedly. "Alyssa..."

"I'm not going to lose you," she shook her head, turning to walk away and struggling under the weight of the luggage she was holding.

Han moved after her, grabbing her hand.

"Alyssa n-"

Alyssa turned around and suddenly there was a stabbing pain. Han didn't even have time to react, he only caught a reflection of his shocked face in Alyssa's teary eyes. When he looked down, all of his worst fears had been confirmed. It turned out Alyssa was holding a small knife which had been completely rooted into his belly. There was blood leaking from it, all around Alyssa's hands. Han instinctively cupped his hand around Alyssa's and felt the wetness of his own blood.

"N-No..." He struggled to talk. It had felt like the pain spread from his stomach to every cell in his body, even his throat.

"I-It didn't have to end like this," Alyssa insisted, more to herself than Han, who was already barely conscious. She pulled the knife from Han's gut, which made him gasp in pain - it was a worse pain than when the knife entered. As the world began spinning Han held onto the nearest tree, keeping himself upright but keeping his eyes on Alyssa, the ghost of adoration and worry still there. Alyssa was crying harder. "I told you it didn't have to end like this but you didn't listen. Why didn't you listen?" She yanked the knife back into Han again, who barely made a noise. He opened his mouth, but only blood came from his lips.

He invested all his energy into just talking. "Alyssa," he begged. "P-Please..."

She tore the knife away and turned around as Han collapsed. He knew she wasn't in control. He felt no resentment. He just wanted to live, he wanted Alyssa to get some help. He looked at the distance as Alyssa kept walking, weaving between the trees. As he bled, he desperately tried crawling after her. His breaths were shallow and every part of him slowly began to fade into obscurity.

Alyssa didn't look back at the weak, wheezing Han as he slowly bled out.

Yeah... As you can see, this story is not going to get any easier at all. In fact, I think this is the bit where it gets difficult :-(

Thank you all for the lovely reviews! It may be a while for this story to get an update, because I really need to work on my HG story, but anyone who has followed me knows that I never abandon projects. I'm too stubborn for that.

~Toxic