Music: Tokyo Ghoul - Unravel

How can their story end if it never began?

Lost in his own denial, lost in the sea of doubtpastheartbreakmisery, Ritsu sees himself missing his chance. It doesn't come as sudden as an epiphany. He thinks, It must have been coming for years. He's never had any problem with any decisions in his life, except this one. Everything is clear-cut, simple, easy. Not love. Never love. It never comes easy to him, not now at five-and-twenty years (1), not then as a young adolescent, still messy with infatuation and giggling like a little schoolboy at the thought of holding hands with his Senpai.

He sees it, staring at the closed front door of his neighbor's apartment. A moment, a flash of what-if. What if he'd never randomly confessed to his Senpai that one fated day in autumn (2)? What if he'd never gone home with his Senpai?

It is so tragic, how he scurries to the next row of shelves in that school library to avoid being close to Senpai, and how he never knows that that moment, that second, is the last chance he never took to confess. He watches, blushing and frowning at the same time, as Senpai picks out the book he was going to take.

It's okay if Senpai takes the book, he thinks, clutching his shaking hands closer to his chest, lips pulled up into a trembling smile at the thought of doing something for his Senpai.

And then he leaves, heart still palpitating, smiling so widely he must look like an idiot. And he doesn't look back as his Senpai stares out the window at him, thinking how it was a damn shame he never got to properly meet his little stalker before.

He never has another encounter like that again, not the next week, not ever.

He learns through word of mouth that his Senpai, the one he's been in love with for so many years, has moved to Kagawa (3), because of some terrible personal family problems that he never told anyone about.

His smile is frozen on his face as he listens to his classmates' urgent and whispered conversation. He knew it. He damn well knew it. He should've gathered up the fragile strings of his courage and talked to Senpai, at least. At the very least. Before he left.

Flash forward.

He lives a quiet life through high school, and through college, and he gets a job at his father's company before quickly switching to Marukawa after some vicious rumors about him. He doesn't care. It's overdramatic of him, sure, but he never told the only person he's ever loved that he did love him.

His second day on the job, he finds out his boss is his old first love, and that his family name has changed to Takano.

His fourth day on the job, he sees a pretty lady with brown hair kissing Takano's cheek and Takano laughing down in the lobby, and his smile freezes. Of course. He never confessed, back in high school. So how can he expect that his Senpai noticed him, and never fall in love along the way with someone else?

"We've been dating for…three years?" Takano tells him when he asks, teasingly.

And he can only swallow the lump rising in his throat, and smile, and say, "Oh?" Oh? Oh? Because Takano doesn't know how long he's been in love with his Senpai. He only knows that stalker with brown hair and green eyes from back in high school, the one who used to stare at him from behind those cursed bookshelves. Stupid. He feels so stupid for not taking his chance sooner.

"Yeah," Takano says, lips quirking up at the corner. "I think I'm going to ask her to marry me soon."

"I…that's great."

He nearly collapses as he comes back to the present, gasping and crying and he can't breathe at how terrible, how empty, that future is. That future that could have happened just as easily as him actually confessing. He was so close. So close.

He bangs on the door, desperately, anxiously, like he'll never get another chance at this if he lets it go.

The door opens, and Takano's eyes widen, and he immediately kneels down, shaking Ritsu's shoulders. "Oi. Onodera. Are you okay? Ritsu?"

And it pains him, it pains him to know that Takano is worried for him, that Takano loves him so intensely that there's hardly room for anything else. He frantically clutches at Takano's broad shoulders, at his arms, those arms that he could live in forever, and something inside his heart clicks into place. He reaches up and smashes his lips sloppily to Takano's, like he's lived a thousand lifetimes without him, and he can feel more than see Takano start above him, frozen in place by confusionshockhappiness?

"I love you," Ritsu gasps against Takano's shoulder, worried that he's missed his chance, he'll never get another one, he'll never get to tell Takano that… "I love you, I've always loved you. Please…please."

He doesn't know if the drops on his shoulder are real or not, but Takano whispers in his ear, elation in his voice, "Took you long enough. Idiot."

And Ritsu can only hold fast, whole of heart once more.

A/N: (1) This just means '25'. I don't even know; I was reading a book with Old English and they wrote ages like this.

(2) I base this by how Ritsu says once in the anime that he never got to fulfill his fantasies about Takano's birthday because they must've broken up before then, and how they were only together for a month or so. I think.

(3) From newest chapter of manga.

-ChemicallyEnhanced