Chapter 1: So We Meet Again

A/N:

Sorry about the shitty summary. This is not Beta'd. This was meant as a humorous one-shot, and now it is an angsty monster with a happy ending. I usually don't post until a work is completed, but I have just finished chapter 18, and I have 43,000 words completed. I think I am 3/4 done with the story. We shall see. I'm hoping for some feedback, so I know if I'm going in the right direction with this.

I couldn't do scene breaks on this formatting, like I did on AO3. Oh well.

I will post every few days, should be 2x a week, but not sure yet, if I will post on specific days. Anyone have preferences?

Now on with the story...

She crouched low in the bushes her spear at the ready as she waited for the Commander to show herself. She had been waiting for three hours, since before dawn woke from its slumber. She was cold and tired but resolute. She had come too far to not finish what she had begun.

After she destroyed the mountain, she had raged in her guilt and pain, and spent the first few weeks in deep isolation, scavenging in the woods, barely surviving. She had wandered aimlessly, until she had eventually made her way further east to the Boat People. She had a vague recollection of their location, but to this day she still didn't know if she had somehow subconsciously and yet deliberately sought them out, or if fate had guided her to them. But they had saved her from the oncoming winter.

She had stayed with Luna and her clan through the winter, refusing to stay at first, burdened by the guilt of leaving her people. It wasn't until Luna had assured her that Heda had ordered the coalition to ensure the survival of the Skaikru by whatever means possible, that she had finally settled down enough to learn to survive in this new era of peace.

The Boat Clan were a relatively peaceful, even simple, clan belonging to the coalition, and their main resource to the coalition wasn't warriors but food from the sea. So they welcomed her and taught her to hunt and fish, how to preserve food, and make clothing. They taught her to track and scout, taught her how to survive the unbearable cold, how to chop holes in the ice to get fresh water.

They taught her the basics of fighting with sword and spear and bow and arrow. The healers taught her which plants were best used to reduce fevers and fight the winter coughs, which plants could make the strong sicken and even die. They taught her how to navigate the swollen rivers, and how to patch boats, they taught her to survive in times of peace.

They tried to teach her how to heal, but she seemed incapable of letting go of her sorrow. So Luna pushed her to her limit, exhausting her body and her mind, hoping that the need for vengeance wouldn't take root. But still the nightmares plagued Clarke's sleep, and she moaned and cried out, only to finally jerk awake in fevered sweats. And Luna watched with worried eyes as Clarke's body grew stronger, but her mind slowly fractured under the brutality of her guilt and fury.

And all of this she reported to the Heda.

And then one month ago, Clarke had left and made her way West back towards the new Ton DC that was under construction. She had been told that the Commander had returned to Ton DC to oversee the new construction. This was her chance, and so she had slipped out in the dead of night, back towards Ton DC, her people, and back towards the Commander.

She had been scouting the village for almost two weeks, moving little so as not to attract attention, but seeing much. On the sixth day, she noticed Lexa, no the Commander, had established a pattern. She had come out each morning just at dawn and had walked along a particular trail leading away from the village. She had done this for three days, and now eight days later, Clarke was ready.

She inwardly scoffed that the Commander would walk the same path at the same time each day by herself. Patterns were dangerous, especially for Betrayers. But tomorrow she would walk it no more. She knew once it was done that they would hunt her down and exact a harsh price from her flesh. They would torture her and kill her. She no longer cared, for she knew only with the Commander's death would the screaming in her head finally cease.

She tightened her grasp on the spear, wishing her hand wasn't so sweaty. She pretended that it wasn't nerves, and she wasn't afraid of what was to come. She reminded herself that she was like the Winter Breath that took root deep in the bone, freezing and strengthening.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly and then another as she watched as the Commander finally came into view. She was dressed in light armor, her sword strapped to her side, her long fingers wrapped around the handle. She walked slowly, almost aimlessly, quietly picking her way through the broken twigs and leaves.

Clarke hefted the spear lightly over her left shoulder and drew back. Three more steps. Two more, one more. She grit her teeth, stood and heaved with all her might right at the unsuspecting Commander.

Except…

Except Heda whirled around, her short sword slicing through the air, cracking the staff of the spear and knocking it to the side.

Clarke watched aghast as the spear tumbled to the forest floor, splintered and gouged.

She stood facing Clarke, her face betraying nothing, her short sword at the ready. Clarke noticed her long sword still in its scabbard.

Clarke was pissed. Royally pissed.

"You have two swords?!" She yelled, her voice cracking as she kicked the bush she had been crouching behind. She stomped her foot for good measure, absolutely incensed that she hadn't realized the Commander had two swords.

It occurred to Clarke that she should probably be more concerned about the Commander's reaction as opposed to the fact that she apparently had two swords, but Clarke had somehow managed to miss this small but vital fact. But she was so angry that she had missed such a vital piece of information that she couldn't particularly care in the moment whether or not the Commander would gut her like a feral pig.

Lexa stood patiently waiting for the blonde's tantrum to pass. She sheathed her short sword under her coat and stalked slowly towards the blonde, noting that she was slimmer but more muscled. Luna had said that she had learned quickly, but she wasn't a warrior yet.

"Hello, Clarke."

No gutting yet. Again, it occurred to Clarke that she was probably not prioritizing her own safety very well, now that she was faced with the Commander. Although, she did look more amused than actually angry, which is probably why the next words simply fell out of Clarke's mouth, with no conscious effort on her part.

"Fuck you, Lexa."

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the word. She had heard the word before from Octavia, but still was unsure as to what it actually meant, although she assumed it wasn't meant to be particularly genial.

She crossed both arms over her chest and smirked at the infuriated blonde. "Did you really think, I didn't know you were here, Clarke? That you have been here for two weeks now? Why do you think on the third day I started walking this path?"

The blonde stood there gaping at Lexa, unable to respond intelligently. She knew. Of course the damn woman had known she had been there all along. She had been playing her. For two weeks she had played her, and Clarke hadn't even seen it.

She felt the heat flood her face and she clenched and unclenched her fists, wanting to launch herself at the smug face before her. The smug face with the high cheekbones and delicate jawline. She growled under her breath.

"Fuck you, Lexa. You might have known this time, but I have time. As you always say, Lexa, jus drein jus draun. I want blood, Lexa. You owe me," she hissed trying to fight back the angry tears as she gazed at the smirking brunette.

Lexa immediately felt the smug mirth drain from her. She had been pleased to see the blonde, even if said blonde had been trying to kill her in her fury. Luna had given her weekly reports, and she had been proud of Clarke as she had whole-heartedly thrown herself into learning how to survive on earth. She had become a grounder in her time at Luna's, but it was obvious the time hadn't eased the blonde's pain.

And she didn't blame her. Lexa had left her to die at the mountain, and ensuring that Clarke's people had survived the winter, obviously hadn't lessened the blonde's rage at her. Lexa sighed inwardly. They had a long way to go.

"The alliance holds, Clarke. The Trikru ensured that your people survived the winter, and we are helping them plant and grow food."

"Alliance? What alliance, Lexa!? It doesn't hold, you broke the alliance when you left us to die on that mountain," she all but screamed at Lexa as she fought to maintain what little control she had left. She couldn't afford to fight Lexa face to face. She would never get close enough to hit her before Lexa was on her.

"You left me, Lexa. You left me. ME. ME, Lexa!" she snarled the anger slowly building in her chest, pushing against her ribs threatening to choke her from the inside. She fought to maintain control as she swallowed and pushed the fury back inside, caging it again.

"You left me to die," she whispered as she took a deep breath trying to calm her pounding heart. She looked away, unable to meet the brunette's soft gaze through the salt stinging her eyes.

Lexa swallowed hard, her heart hurting hearing it echo in the pound of her heart: ME. ME. ME.

She knew now why Clarke really hated her. She hated her, not for abandoning Clarke's people, Clarke was pragmatic enough to eventually understand why she had done it, why it had been best for the Trikru. No, her fury was because she had abandoned Clarke, had tossed her aside like a smashed blade that has served its purpose and is now worthless.

After everything, after Finn and Ton DC, after the kiss, after pushing the button together; after everything, she had left Clarke standing alone before the impenetrable door in the mountain. She had abandoned Clarke, and when she left her there, she had taken Clarke's hope with her. Hope that had been Clarke's strength, her fire.

"Yes. I did. I belong to my people, Clarke. I always have, and I always will, even after I take my last breath, my spirit will still belong to my people; and will find another. If I could have chosen…."

"Stop. Just stop, Commander, I don't want to hear it." The blonde looked back at the brunette, her eyes cold and dark. She backed up a few steps and circled wide around the commander keeping her eyes on her the entire time as she made her way over to the broken spear. She glanced down quickly, disgruntled when she noticed it was now virtually useless.

So, they were back to Commander. Hearing her name tumble from the blonde's lips had ignited a soft heat that had settled low in Lexa's belly. She had briefly embraced the warmth, but now she felt it cool and burrow down into her limbs when she heard Clarke spit out her title. She bit back her sigh and her face gave away nothing as to the loss she felt.

Instead, Lexa watched calmly as the blonde circled wide around her, her gaze never leaving hers. She too pivoted slowly in a circle to keep an eye on the angry blonde. She really didn't want to have to worry about the end of a spear in her back. Not that the blonde would be able to sneak up on her. She smiled slightly. While Clarke had learned much from Luna, she still didn't move with the grace, silence, and speed of the Trikru. She didn't lumber anymore like many of the Skaikru, but she had a long way to go before she could slip about unnoticed.

She eyed the blonde carefully as she scooped up the shattered spear and then glowered at Lexa.

"I'm not done." Defiance graced every line of her body as she stared moodily at Lexa, her rage simmering just under the surface. Lexa was sadly mistaken, if she thought Clarke wouldn't have her revenge.

Lexa sighed. Somehow she had known that the blonde wouldn't quit. She shook her head slightly, wondering if she should just be amused or actually worried. Either way, she would have to be on her guard. She didn't want to accidentally hurt Clarke during her next "attack."

"Well, until you have decided when and how to kill me next, perhaps you would like to return to Ton DC with me? I'm sure you are hungry?" She kept her face impassive as she watched the blonde snort and start to shake her head, only for the silence to be split by a loud grumbling. The blonde glanced down, completely mortified at the offending noise.

Lexa tried not to laugh as she watched the blonde's fair skin heat suddenly. Red looked good on her.

"It appears that the monster in your belly wishes to be fed," she smirked at the blonde, but then quickly threw up a hand when she could see the angry retort forming on soft, pink lips.

"Octavia and Raven are in the village. They have missed you." She waited calmly, ignoring the rapid beat of her heart, as she waited for the blonde to make her decision. She tried not to smile in relief when the blonde finally gave her a curt nod.

Clarke took a few steps forward and then hesitated glancing at Lexa. She smirked and gestured with her hand, "after you, Co-man-duh." She couldn't help but feel a little glee at the way the brunette's brow furrowed when she heard Clarke spit out the syllables.

Lexa tried not to snort at the presumption of the blonde. As if she was that stupid. She wasn't about to turn her back on the angry blonde. She gestured in front of her, "No, Clarke, after you. I insist." She let the Heda leak into her voice, satisfied when Clarke stiffened and darted her eyes around nervously.

"Fine. But should I be worried that you will stab me in the back, Commander? After all you are good at betrayal. You wear it so well," hissed the blonde.

Lexa felt her words like a blow in her stomach, and barely managed not to flinch. She seethed inwardly, not so much angry at the words, but angry that the words hurt. She glared at the blonde.

"Do not test me, Clarke. Let's go. Breakfast should be ready." She glanced pointedly at the blonde's stomach that let out another muted roar.

Clarke tried not to blush at rumbling in her stomach, but gathered her nerve and made it a point of stomping past the brunette back into the tree line to retrieve her satchel that she had hidden there.

"Ryder already has it and has taken it to the tent we've set up for you."

Clarke stumbled, snarling under her breath. Naturally the damn Commander had known where her satchel was. She stewed in silence for a moment debating whether or not she should just run into the trees, but the empty clawing at her stomach won out. Fine. She would return with Lexa and bide her time. But the unmerited gall of her to set up a tent! She barely managed not to stomp her foot, but turned and stomped her way down the trail back towards Ton DC.

Lexa sighed as she slowly followed the angry blonde back down the trail. It was going to be a long few weeks with Clarke in camp as they finished rebuilding Ton DC. Clarke in camp. She perked up at the thought. Clarke would be in camp. In a tent. Near her. She could keep an eye on Clarke, and maybe, maybe they could find peace. She smiled at the thought.