My sister did this to me today and… yeah, Jackal's reaction was my reaction. To the letter. I don't know why but… I did not react well to this… and I just completely lost my shit.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Jackal sat, or rather, perched on the chair next to his girlfriend's bed. His tail swished as he contemplated the offensively pink duvet within his line of sight.

If he just… tossed it out the window, would Lucy notice?

"Jackal, whatever you're planning…" Lucy paused in her closet spelunking mission to turn and give her boyfriend a long, hard stare. "Don't."

He laid his ears flat against his skull. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The blonde Celestial mage's carnelian eyes bored straight into the gold ones of the blond demon sulking on her chair. "Right. Sure you don't." She returned to delve into her closet for something. "You could help me pack?" she coaxed. "After all, this vacation was your idea."

Shrugging, Jackal continued to lounge. "And I said you didn't need to bring nearly this much stuff, and yet here we are." He reached out one leg, and prodded a bag with a claw. "There's three of these things. If you don't hurry up, I'm going to start exploding things."

Lucy let out a screech of indignation. "Don't you fucking dare, Jackal!" she hissed.

Unconcerned, Jackal smirked at her. "Or what?" he taunted, prodding another bag meaningfully. "I mean… it really would be so simple to just… turn this into a small bomb…"

Eyes narrowed, Lucy threatened, "Set off another one of those damn bombs in here, and I will sic the landlady on you this time!" It was her turn to smugly watch as her boyfriend's face went an unhealthy shade of white. "Not feeling so brave now, are you?"

"I'm pretty sure that woman is another one of Zeref's demons," Jackal growled. "And nothing you say will ever convince me otherwise."

"Then don't blow things up!" Lucy shouted.

"Now that's just being unreasonable."

Giving up, Lucy extracted a large bag from the depths of her closet.

Jackal immediately took note of the closed zipper upon it, and he perked up in interest.

Then Lucy opened the bag, pulling out…

More… bags?

Lots more bags.

Huge bags.

The demon could only gape. "You have... a huge bag in your closet… full of… more large bags?!" He paused for a second. "Five of them?!"

Lucy shot him a devious grin. "Brilliant, and a stroke of genius, right?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Jackal yelled, completely and utterly losing it. "This is not genius! This is fucking anarchy! Pure fucking anarchy, I tell you!"

"Says the mad bomber," Lucy muttered. "Pray tell, how is this anarchy, exactly?"

"This! Can't you see it?!" her boyfriend hissed, the fur on his tail standing on end. "Why would you. Place bags. Inside of. Another fucking bag? Why? Why the fuck would you do that?"

"To… save… space…?" Lucy responded.

"This is what is wrong with the human race," Jackal continued to lament. "This. Right here. This is a symbol of everything the human race has become or amounted to within the last four centuries. Why do you even own so many bags? I don't get it? And. Putting them. Inside of. Other bags? And then. Into your closet? Like? Why? Why would do you that? Why?!"

As Jackal proceeded to lose his mind – over a bunch of bags, no less – Lucy just observed him in mixed horror and amusement.

"I'd hate to see how you'd react to Moreos and None Pizza Left Beef…"

Couldn't resist throwing that last line in there.