Author's note: Gintama belongs to Sorachi H. This story is unbetaed and might NOT BE THE FULL VERSION due to site restrictions. My tumblr / wordpress / livejournal / AO3 has the full chapters but there will be delays in uploading there. Reviews are greatly encouraged and appreciated.

Chapter 1: A Hundred Days

They first meet at the Yorozuya house, introduced by his friend, Zenzou. Zenzou the sneaky asshole ninja who had a habit of randomly showing up with job orders… or surprises. But he did recall Zenzou bringing her up several times before.

"She's a childhood friend of mine… blah blah blah… skilled ninja… blah blah blah… very poor eyesight… blah blah blah… a bit too loud for my taste… blah blah blah… and not ugly… blah blah blah… you should meet her… blah blah blah…"

Gintoki never believed a word that came out of Zenzou's mouth. A mission that was a piece of cake resulted in him having a broken leg and arm. Twice, he merely had to retrieve something, ended with a sword fight of one against a hundred armed and trained professional killers. Three months ago, we're in this together, and Zenzou never showed up at the site. Thus, he never looked forward to this childhood friend of the ninja's.

He is at his desk, leaning on his back with feet on the table, and picking his nose when she arrives with Zenzou. His friend makes himself at home while she stands from afar and watches him silently. She doesn't strike him at all, so much for first impressions. Long, straight, purple hair, similar-colored large eyes with glasses and a small frame clad in a short-sleeved white blouse and black pants. He has no opinion of her.

Maybe she becomes interesting when she talks. He remembers Zenzou's comment of her loudness.

But she doesn't say anything, and only looks back at him from time to time. A complete opposite of how she was described.

He and Zenzou talk. She doesn't appear to be listening but instead checks her phone from time to time. She walks around and stares at the things around his house, taking interest with one of the shelves. Zenzou does not even introduce them to each other. So Gintoki mentally shrugs and ignores her.

Time passes and Zenzou leaves but she doesn't. This confuses him.

"Uh…" He begins but then his mind is blank. He has been ignoring her the whole time and he is not prepared to talk to her. What is her name even? Why did she not leave with Zenzou? Nothing is making sense to him.

"Zenzou said you can help with some things," she begins. "I can return the favor, I am skilled in more ways than one, it's no problem at all." Her tone is serious and deliberate. She extends her arm to him, handing him a piece of purple paper. "Please meet me tomorrow at five in the afternoon at this address. Come on time."

Before he could nod, she leaves in a flash.

The address turns out to be a public pool area. Out of curiosity, he arrives on time but he cannot spot her anywhere. Gintoki feels overdressed as everyone is in their swimwear.

A child, about three years, pokes him on the thigh. He raises his eyebrows at the kid.

"Here, mister." The child points towards the wash rooms and runs inside. Gintoki glances around, still no sign of her, and follows the toddler.

Inside, the child has disappeared and she is standing there, looking exactly the same as yesterday. Her arms are crossed and she is studying him with an intense look in her eyes.

"So, you came." It is all she says, as if waiting for his reply.

"What is this all about?" His own cluelessness irritates him.

"Zenzou says you can help."

He considers this. "It depends on what you need help with. Why are we even here? Couldn't you have told me yesterday at the Yorozuya?"

"No." It's all she says.

"Why not?" Impatience is progressing within him. She is being too curt with her answers. What exactly does she need from him?

"They won't suspect if we meet up here. At least, I hope so…" She trails off and her eyes are glassy, appearing lost in thought.

"Oi. OI! Who's 'they' and what in the world are you talking about? I'm kinda lost here. It's like you're having a conversation with yourself. Please introduce me to the topic at least."

She sighs. "There is a group to be feared."

"And…?"

"They are after me." It is all she says.

"Do I really need to prompt you every time to say more? I'm really getting tired of this."

"Be patient. I am choosing my words carefully. You appear to be someone who is easily swayed."

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I am pondering on the possibility of you switching sides. I have to be certain. There is a big risk-"

"Hey, just tell me specifically what the situation is all about. We've been here too long. Now that is suspicious, don't you think?"

"You have a point. Do you think-" She hesitates. "Do you think we should have sex just to throw them off?"

"WHAT?"

"It might be necessary."

"You're absolutely crazy." Gintoki is floored when she suddenly strips down to her underwear. White, tight and revealing. He gulps for air.

She lunges at him. Within a millisecond, her arms are around his neck. "I'm scared. But I always do what is necessary." Her scent is nice. "For the record, I'm not attracted to you at all. This is simply for show." It is the most she's said to him since they met.

He grabs her waist to push her away but mistakenly looks down, seeing a wonderful view of her breasts. How come he hadn't noticed them before? "You-"

"Stop looking!"

"I wasn't!"

"Don't lie! I caught you in the act!"

"You're the one who pounced on me!"

"Quiet! This is getting us nowhere!"

"You're the one who won't quit being cryptic."

"All right. I need your help. But you have to cooperate."

"Cooperate? How?"

She looks at him in the eye. "Touch me."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"I did. But what do you mean by that?"

She shakes her head then grabs his hand and positions it over her breast. He is in shock. Soft, plump, and warm. He can't move.

She leans in, close, and whispers to his ear. "I'm in trouble and I need your help. My opponents, they're vicious but also competent. Four times, they have almost killed me."

Gintoki is taken aback by this information. So someone is trying to kill her. Who? In his surprise, his hand tightens its hold, making her gasp. This pleases him.

But she continues even without his verbal response. "In my possession is a powerful object that they desire. In their hands, it is deadly. By all means, it must be destroyed."

"What powerful object?"

"At this time, I will not disclose the details of it."

He experiments, squeezing a bit harder this time. "How can I help if I'm uninformed?"

She holds back a moan. "It's irrelevant for now."

"Is it?" His thumb rubs at the spot above her nipple.

"Ah! Don't push it, you bastard. I'll tell you next time. There are more pressing matters than that."

"So tell me." Gintoki is empowered by her slight reactions. He creates a rhythm of touching her.

She sighs. "Maybe later." Her voice is breathy and her thigh starts to rub against his groin. She pushes herself against his palm. This encourages him so he adds pressure with his thumb. They continue with this for a while until they both breathe heavily and noisily and he aches for more. He slips his hand under the thin piece of cloth covering her front and fondles her.

Suddenly, she stops him. "Okay, now I'll tell you what's going on."

He attempts to resume his massage but she waves him away. "You seemed like you were enjoying it." That he was certain of.

"Just listen. This is important."

A few hours later, Gintoki is standing by an ice cream booth, taking a large serving on a cone from the vendor. He licks the cold dessert, liking the strawberry flavor, and partly imagining it was Sacchan's breast. Yes, he finally got around to asking her name after all that steamy session and after they had discussed her predicament. She disclosed it to him as if it were of no importance at all. He shrugged inwardly. Maybe she wasn't big on names. She didn't even bother calling him by his own.

Still, he couldn't stop thinking about their hot, steamy encounter. Her situation sure was dangerous and he should be focusing on that but he was more than distracted with what happened between them.

He summons Zenzou for a talk.

"So, she's told you about it, eh?" The ninja is grinning. "Don't underestimate her enemies. They can be quite… deadly."

"Who are they, anyway?" He's never heard of them. Sacchan wouldn't reveal much about them either.

"Let's just say one of the deadliest group of ninjas to ever exist. I have to hand it to Sarutobi, she's one hell of a talent to have evaded them several times."

"What is this object they're after anyway?"

"She didn't tell you, eh? Well she doesn't talk to me about it either. We're all in the dark, Gintoki. Just help her with this. The soon it's done, the soon she stops pestering me with all this."

"So, you're helping her too?" He wonders if Sacchan and Zenzou have sexual relations.

"Eh. No. Not really. I can't do much for her. I don't want to get on the bad side of that group. I'll be neutral. Yeah. That's why I sent her to you."

"Fuck you. I'll kill you."

"Nah. Enjoy your time with Sarutobi," he says with a wink, "she seems to like you, based on what I've heard."

"What do you mean?"

Zenzou laughed. "Just help her." Then he left.

Author's end note: Headache mode.