Chapter 11

Jackson was definitely Dick Grayson's son. There was no denying that.

Damian wasn't at all that captivated by the sight, that was clearly Gordon's job, but still, it was a bit-surprising. Maybe not remarkable, but definitely surprising.

Jackson was, for lack of a better word- tumbling . It wasn't anything grand and a bit shaky, but it was still undeniably tumbling. The joy on his face as he did it wasn't far placed to Grayson's when he'd discovered something new or found his latest thrill. It was mixed with enough of Jackson's own unique features and childlike mannerisms so it wasn't identical, but it was close.

Still, it wasn't what the child was doing, simply flipping himself over using his head as balance, so much as it was the way he was doing it.

Jackson was putting on a show.

His actions seemed surprisingly organized, coordinated even and he was set about placing things around him, pulling pillows and a stool, as if he were setting a stage. As if he were- performing .

Damian wasn't sure if he was annoyed or impressed. For a toddler in diapers that still wobbled a bit when he walked, the boy had an amazing amount of dexterity. Not perfect by any means, but he was definitely in his element. It seemed a familiar pastime and he seemed completely at home doing it.

It was odd to think of it that way. That Jackson had undoubtedly done this many times before in his time, in his world, a world where Damian might very well have been much more involved in this child's life.

Or rather had been, if Pennyworth's words held any truth.

It seemed pointless to think about, but Damian couldn't deny the slight clench in his gut at that Damian's presumed fate.

Gordon wasn't helping matters of making Jackson feel like any less of a star, clapping and applauding everything the boy did, much to Jackson's amusement. Clearly her maternal instincts weren't as far off as Damian had first assumed. She was still a doting female, oohing and cooing at a child merely because he was just that-a child.

Damian was far less vocal about his amazement-if he had any to begin with, but he was also distracted.

Todd was lurking in the corner. Todd was lurking and biting his thumb and it was obvious from the frown on his face that instead of being the least bit happy to see pretend son looking so delighted, he was clearly upset, distracted by something. He was looking through Jackson, not at him.

He eventually caught Damian's eye and the smile he tried to give was lukewarm at best.

Damian felt his hackles rise, not sure why a simple gesture made a prickle of unease go down his spine. Todd made him irritated at the best of times, but this, this felt different. Jason seemed-

"See something you like, D-man?" Jason's lip curled. "Maybe you should take a picture? Lasts longer that way."

And just like that Jason was back to his aggravating sneer and Damian wanted to roll his eyes at how annoying the man was. Jason seemed to snap out whatever he was brooding over, but his mood shift seemed almost for Damian's benefit rather than his own. Like he was going through the motions, but it seemed-halfhearted.

It hit a raw nerve that sparked a whole slew of questions, starting with how Todd was managing to heal so quickly and why the man in the cell was suddenly a vegetable, but before Damian could act on asking either of these things, a small hand was suddenly pulling at him. An indiscernible sound escaped from Jackson, but it was clear the boy wanted his attention.

On instinct, Damian was ready to shove him off, but Gordon's chair approaching stopped him. The air changed and everyone seemed to notice. Jason looked decidedly uncomfortable, but tried his best to hide it by giving a snort and a whatever and walking away.

But Damian wasn't letting him off that easy. Not this time.

He took one step and Barbara flew in front of him and he nearly growled. Her eyes were understanding, but firm as she said, " I'll talk to him."

Damian felt the need to get it off his chest, to say it out loud. "Something's wrong with him." He didn't know what, but there was definitely something off with Todd.

"I know," Gordon replied evenly and not unkindly. "And I think I know what it is. Damian, I think it might be better if I handled this. Please, just let me talk to him."

Damian was going to argue, but there was a second pull on his arm, "What?" he asked irritably. Jackson didn't answer, not in any intelligible way. He merely pointed when he saw Damian was looking at him. Pointed back at the play area he'd constructed himself, an odd sound bubbling from his throat. Damian sighed, "Gordon, go back and praise this child some more, he clearly wants to impress you. I'll deal with Todd."

Gordon looked like she was holding in a smile. She bit her lip and cleared her throat, "Damian, trust me when I say it's really a lot better if I talk to Jason. You two will only fight and that's the last thing we need around here," Her mouth lifted. "And besides-" she winked at Jackson, "I don't think it's me who he's really trying to impress. Right sweetheart?"

Jackson responded with a squeal. He ran back and threw himself atop a pillow. He peeked his head back at them, specifically Damian, to see if he was watching him before hiding his face with a giggle. Damian frowned at the spectacle, not sure what the boy was trying to accomplish with his behavior. It distracted him enough that one minute he was watching Jackson and the next he turned and Gordon was gone.

Damian's lip twitched, he was pretty sure he'd just been swindled.

Swindled by a toddler, who was giving him an innocent, yet pointed looking smile.

Oh yes, this was definitely Grayson's child-

And if Jackson had to have such unfortunate parentage, let him at least have the intelligence to be a little more like a Grayson and a little less like a Todd.

"Fine," Damian agreed. "But if you're going to impress anyone, we need to work on your form."

Jackson looked at him, the end of the pillow stuck rather messily in his mouth.

Damian cringed, "Among other things."

The breakdown was over a hot dog. A stupid thing in retrospect, but Tim had stopped for gas and Dick was hungry and there weren't many options, so he ordered a hotdog that looked like it'd been bred in salmonella.

Big mistake.

"You are aware that cravings have been scientifically proven to be mostly psychological, right?

Dick took another bite of what had to be the grossest, yet most delicious hot dog he'd ever eaten. His brow rose as he chewed open mouthed, "Is that right?"

Damian's face was pure revulsion and Dick felt a twinge of accomplished pride at how disgusted he looked.

Dick finally swallowed, "Do tell."

Damian scowled, "It's an entitled response brought on by the brain, probably mostly attributed to the term eating for two ."

"Huh, well I'll be," Dick offered vaguely. "Tell me Dr. Wayne, where did you get your medical degree from anyway?"

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm," Damian snapped. "I'm merely concerned."

"Concerned about what? My eating habits?" Dick asked licking some relish from his fingers. Although he'd put himself on light duty as far as the crime fighting went, he wasn't about to lock himself in his apartment just yet. Getting around wasn't as easy given the new added heaviness of a six month baby bump he wasn't used to, but it didn't make him an invalid and although Jason insisted that he would go and get whatever he needed, what Dick really needed was some fresh air. And although Dick swore it would be his husband he had to fight for freedom, surprisingly, it wasn't Jason who had become the territorial pitbull around him.

It was Damian.

Moody, mopey Damian Wayne who was clearly having some issues of his own he refused to acknowledge, much less talk about. He nodded to the question as he watched Dick devour the rest of his impromptu meal before he finally looked away.

"Sure you didn't want some?" Dick asked as he tossed the wrapper in a nearby trashcan.

Damian shook his head and continued to glare, not really at Dick, but rather at everything and everyone who dared to pass the bench they were sitting on. Damian twitched and looked decidedly miserable as he pulled the hood of his jacket up at the sudden chill in the air. Turning thirteen had clearly done hell on the boy's hormones and Dick couldn't help feeling sorry for the obviously conflicted and confused teenager.

Dick remembered the age well, a hectic, uncomfortable time in any young man's life. He knew Damian just needed time to figure things out and come to terms with what was happening to him, both physically and emotionally. The irony that Dick could use that statement on himself right now wasn't entirely lost on him.

Truthfully, they were both a mess of hormones and uncertainty.

Maybe it bonded them in some way and maybe it was the reason why Damian's biting words on his changing body and eating habits didn't really sting as much as they should have.

Dick sighed, "Is there something you'd like to say, Damian?"

Dick expected Damian to have the grace enough to realize he was being more than a little rude and to back down a bit.

He didn't.

"What I was trying to say is it's a known fact that men and women use pregnancy as an excuse to put on more weight than they need to. You're housing a new life Grayson-you want to ruin your own health, fine , but maybe she'd like some nutrients that didn't come purely from grease, processed sugar and fat." His eyes flitted to Dick's middle with a severe frown. This seemed a bit unfair as they were sitting down, making his stomach much more obvious. "Eating a salad or two certainly wouldn't kill you."

Or Maybe, Dick decided, maybe Damian was just a rude little brat.

"Dick?"

Dick had been so focused on watching Damian; he hadn't even noticed the man coming towards them. The park wasn't exactly empty, but his instincts must have been really off not to sense Andy Sullivan until he was right in front of them.

Man, did Dick feel off his game anymore.

The taller man had a towel around his shoulders. His tight sleeveless shirt and athletic shorts as well as the flush and slight sheen of sweat all pointed to the obvious that Andy was out for a run. Dick knew Andy was concerned about physical fitness, but in the past few months since he'd last seen him, the man had definitely been doing some serious training. His body was fitter and tighter and he'd added more than a little muscle.

Dick on the other hand had been eating his way through ice cream and hot dogs and anything else he could really get his hands on like there was no tomorrow. His newest kick was French toast with extra syrup, which was odd as Dick didn't even like French toast. After he passed the first trimester the morning sickness had mostly subsided so now anything he ate pretty much stuck.

Seeing Andy's washboard abs through the thin shirt really took Dick's self-esteem down a few notches.

"Andy, it's good to see you." Dick said with a smile. He tried in vain to shift himself so maybe he wouldn't look so big. "How are you?"

Despite the attempt Andy's eyes went right to Dick's stomach, and really how could they not? "I think that's what I should be asking you. You're-" he looked like he couldn't decide what to say and settled on "-wow."

Dick laughed and mimicked, "Yeah I know- wow ." He sighed with false melancholy, "How the tables have turned. I've turned into Jabba the Hut and you've become Mr. Universe."

Andy flushed at the compliment, but shook his head, "No Dick, you look-you look amazing."

Dick snorted, "Seriously Andy, you don't have to-"

"I mean it," Andy's eyes seemed slightly brighter, though it could have been the red flush of his skin making the blue more prominent. He wet his lips, "You look really good."

Damian's eyes were like steel, slicing between the two men suspiciously. He made an aggressive sound that made Dick frown at him.

"Damian," Andy turned and addressed him with an easy smile. "How are you?"

"Apparently, not as good as you are," Damian snapped. "Is this a normal thing for you? Do you normally go around hitting on pregnant, married men?"

"Damian-" Dick chided, giving him a stern look.

"Whatever," Damian griped back as he stood up. "I'm going for a walk."

Damian clearly wanted to shoulder Andy out of his way, but he didn't. He remained sulky, with his hand in his pockets and his head down. Dick got the feeling he was putting on a bit of a show, that he wasn't leaving so much as finding a better spot to watch them from. Dick wouldn't be surprised if Robin didn't suddenly make an appearance.

"I really didn't mean to-" Andy rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I wasn't-"

"I know," Dick assured him. "You'll have to forgive him; he's just been really moody lately. I'd almost swear he was the pregnant one some days."

"Do you mind if I-" Andy, ever the gentleman, motioned to the vacated seat.

Dick waved him on, "Of course."

"I meant what I said Dick, you really look good."

"Well Mr. Schwarzenegger, you're not looking too shabby yourself."

Andy just smiled, "How's Jason? He must be over the moon."

"He's-" Dick didn't know quite how to word it. "We're taking it one day at a time, he's-" Dick couldn't stop a smile as he fiddled with his wedding band. "He's got to be getting frustrated with me."

"Why's that?"

Dick sighed, "They always say you're hormonal and crabby and your feet and back hurt, but you never believe it until you really experience it. I think he just, doesn't know what to do sometimes. He wants to help me and he knows there's only so much he can do and that annoys him, I think."

Andy's tongue clicked, "Yeah, I can see that."

Upon closer inspection, Dick could see that while Andy looked more physically fit, he also looked-exhausted. "How's it going with the-" Dick motioned a mask around his eyes. He and Andy had been open about Andy's experiences in helping Nightwing. He never tried to be too pushy or obvious about it, but he was curious how Andy was really taking to Red Hood.

Andy laughed, but it didn't sound pleasant, "Terrible."

Dick held in a cringe, "Did something happen?'

"Yeah, Nightwing's gone MIA and I have to deal with some jackass that said he was his replacement called Red Hood."

Andy didn't curse often, so even the word jackass meant he was more than a little peeved.

"Is he that bad?"

Andy sighed, "It doesn't really matter if he's bad or not, it's just-it's not the same. It's not the same and I don't know where Nightwing is and it's," his blue eyes found Dick's, "honestly, it's driving me crazy."

Dick swallowed, but nodded in what he hoped was sympathy.

"I don't know if I did something or said something wrong or if maybe he's in trouble. Red Hood swears he's fine and he's giving him the information, but what if he's lying? I just wish I knew he was okay."

Dick put his hand reassuringly on the other man's shoulder, "I'm sure he's fine, Andy."

Andy threw the hand off in a fit Dick wasn't prepared for, "You don't know that!" he snapped suddenly. "Don't give me false reassurances when he could be dead or worse and I can't do anything about it! You're always saying things to try and make everyone think that everything's okay, but what if it's not? What if-" Andy fell off with an angry huff.

Dick gave him a moment to collect himself. He'd never seen Andy get this upset before and it was startling to say the least. "Andy-" he tried softly.

"I'm sorry," Andy's hand was pulling at his hair and he looked at the ground as he repeated. "This isn't your fault; you're only trying to help. I'm sorry."

Dick tried again, "Andy-"

"I-I should go," Andy mumbled before rising. "I really am happy for you Dick and I'm sorry I said those things. I-I didn't mean it."

Dick nodded as he found Andy's eyes with all sincerity, "Andy, if you need to talk, you can always call me. I'm still your friend, don't forget that."

Andy's smile was shaky and forced, but still grateful, "Yeah, I will. Tell Jason I said hi and take care of yourself."

No sooner was he gone and Damian was back, sweeping in the vacated spot like he'd never left. "He's way too obsessed with Nightwing. Grayson, you need to-"

"I know."

Dick was worried. Andy had clearly taken to getting more physically in shape, yet he definitely seemed on edge.

Andy's anxiety was clearly boiling over.

And Dick couldn't help the feeling it was all his fault.

"Sir?" the bleach blonde woman behind the counter tried again. "Sir?"

Dick snapped his head toward the cashier, "Sir, did you still want your-" she motioned to the hot dog in her hand and Dick felt instantly nauseous.

He shook his head, wondering how in the hell he had ever wanted that thing in the first place. "No. I'm sorry I-" he was backtracking and escaping out the door before he knew it.

As soon as the fresh air hit him, Dick wanted, felt like he needed to throw up. His stomach knotted terribly and he grasped his knees as he panted and his vision swam. God, he just needed to-

Tim was beside him, his voice low in his ear, "Dick, are you-"

"I can't do anything."

Tim remained calm, despite the slight hysteria Dick knew was in his voice, "What do you mean you can't do anything?"

Dick stared at the ground, "It doesn't matter if it's a thought, looking at something, feeling something. Tim, I can't do, say, look, or even think about anything without-" He ground his palm angrily into his eyes and tried to stop the ringing in his ears.

Tim grabbed his shoulders and made him look into his eyes, "Dick, we're going to figure this out. You'll be fine," his voice was soft but convinced. "I promise Bruce, Barb and me, we'll figure this out. I swear."

Dick nodded shakily; he knew he needed to calm down. Getting hysterical wasn't going to help anything, but his blood was rushing too fast into his brain and that scene had just been too real. He'd felt, he'd felt-

Dick swallowed, he'd felt-

He'd felt another life moving inside him.

This time Dick did throw up and Tim barely managed to save his shoes an untimely demise from the reappearance of Dick's breakfast.

"Seriously man?"

Dick actually felt a little better afterward, but Tim groaned.

"I swear that better be all of it, because if you throw up in my baby, I'm tossing you out into the street."

At Dick's eye roll Tim persisted. "I mean it, even one inkling of upchuck and you're going into traffic, Grayson."

Barbara Gordon had known since that morning, since Jason had refused to eat breakfast with them, had tried to get Jackson to calm down only to get frustrated and stomp off, Barbara knew something was wrong.

"Jason-"

The man's shoulder's tensed at the sound of her voice, but he continued to ignore her. Jason ignored her to instead look down at the prisoner, something he seemed intent to do quite often since she'd arrived. She wasn't sure why but the word obsessed popped into her mind more than once. Perhaps in some way, even though Jackson wasn't actually his child, some kind of paternal bond had formed and Jason felt this man was a risk.

A threat.

Jason had become a mamma bear and he hadn't even realized it.

Barbara held in a smile at the analogy, "You can try and ignore me, but I think you'll find I'm pretty persistent, Jason Todd."

Jason finally sighed and turned to her, "What?"

He looked tired, his skin was too pale and slightly drawn, but his eyes were razor sharp, almost angry. Barbara was hardly impressed, "It's okay."

Jason blinked as if he didn't understand, "What's okay?"

"How you feel about each other, I've seen it for months now and I want you to know-it's okay."

Jason's face seemed to cloud over in an emotion of uncertainty; it took a moment for him to respond, "Months?"

"Dick's an easy person to love, but they always say there's a thin line between love and hate. You two-" Barbara motioned a circle, "-you do this dance of hate and obsession like I've never seen before. You constantly tease each other and after this whole scenario, seeing what could essentially be your child if things in this world were different, I know that has to be-"

"You're right," Jason cut her off.

Barbara blinked and would have taken a step back, had she still had the use of her legs. She really hadn't expected Jason to admit to anything that easily. She expected a fight, some sarcasm, or a jab at her and her relationship with Tim. Instead, Jason had done the exact opposite.

"I love him Barb; I have for a long time." Jason's eyes were nowhere soft as he smiled, "There's just always been this- thing holding me back, you know?" His eyes side swept to the cell and there was a pull at his lip.

Barbara swore she saw the man identified as Andrew Sullivan twitch from inside the cell, but she shook it off as a trick of the light.

Jason continued, giving her a smile that made her heart jump a beat. The look was almost- alien on Jason's face, "But you're right, I can't let it stand in my way." He reached forward and absently tapped on the cell's clear wall. His voice fell to a near whisper, "Not anymore. Not ever again."

"Jason-"

"I can't hold it off, not anymore. I have to tell him."

"I-" Barbara stared at the man in absolute shock, never had she imagined this conversation to go so-

The man in the cell undoubtedly seized that time and Barbara was too focused on his sudden movement to realize Jason had already left.

Something bubbled in her gut, a feeling she tried to quiet, a feeling that she'd never seen Jason smile like that. The smile was a bit-

She hated to use the word, but it was the first one that came to mind.

Eerie .

His whole body shook.

"Calm down-"

"I'll kill him."

A slow and steady burning began to rise within him.

Not good, no way was that good-

"You have to calm down," Jason tried again.

"-kill him, I'll-"

There was a flash and a pop and Jason wished more than anything that he could scream at the rippling pain that suddenly shot through his body.

"Stop-you have to-dammit, stop!"

"-kill him, I'll fucking -kill-"

Anger. Deep seeded anger, the likes of which Jason had never experienced before rose through his veins, buzzing through his body in a blast of heat that he was sure was going to barbeque his insides.

"-seriously, calm the hell down," Jason all but gasped. "You have to-"

Another wave hit him.

"-Fuck!"

Jason's body was on fire and he swore if the other man didn't stop, they were both going to go up in flames.

"- mother fucker took everything."

"I get it -I really do, but you've got to-"

"No! You don't get it-I won't-He can't. I can't-not again!"

The heat that engulfed him was such that Jason was sure he'd been thrown in the very pits of hell itself. His vision was nothing but red.

Jason pushed through, but goddamn did it fucking hurt.

"I get that you're pissed, but if you don't stop you're going to kill me!" he screamed, "Now, either calm the fuck down or get the hell out of here!"

He was in fucking agony-

And just like that-the heat, the pain, all of it turned to something else.

A bright, soothing warmth filled the air. It was sudden, but gentle and brought about a feeling of contentment, as if the world had suddenly been swaddled in the softest blanket and all that was wrong had suddenly become right. Jason nearly sighed in ecstasy when a ballad of soft and soothing words filled his ears in a murmur as steady, long fingers brushed against his shoulders. The grip was light, then intensified into the feeling of those same fingers kneading into stiff, overused muscles. The movement was strong and steady and warm and- oh god did it feel good.

"God Jay, you're so tense."

Jason could only moan in response. "Jesus, I swear you've got the hands of an angel."

Dick's lip quirked, "I thought I had the ass of an angel?"

"That too, but holy crap, this is-" Jason's breath hitched as Dick worked patiently through another knot. "You can always make it a masseuse if this whole masked crusader thing doesn't work out."

Dick snorted, "Glad to know I have options."

"I'm serious," Jason insisted over another contented sigh, "Though you may have to give this particular customer a happy ending every once in a while."

Dick chuckled, "At the rate you're paying me? Dream on big boy."

"Yeah well-" Jason peered back, suddenly realizing how bad this must look, his two and half month pregnant husband giving him a massage. "Shouldn't I be the one doing this for you?"

There was a hum as Dick finally worked out the last knot and Jason all but melted as he fell into the other man's lap, adjusting himself so he could look up at his husband. The buzz of the muted television was more relaxing than annoying and the dim lighting glowed against the contours of Dick's tan skin. God , this man really could be an angel.

Dick's brow rose, "Is than an offer?"

Jason yawned, "Maybe later."

Dick's look said he clearly didn't believe that, but his hand swept softly through Jason's hair. Soothing and gentle, "Seriously though, you feel like a block of cement, what's got you so stressed?"

Jason sighed, "Honestly? It's your boy, Sullivan."

"Andy?"

"Yeah," Jason mocked. " Andy. "

Dick looked slightly confused, "What about him?"

What about him indeed? "Well for starters he's got to be the whiniest, most obnoxious person I've ever met. And I know Damian for Christ's sake." Jason ignored Dick's irritated eye roll and continued. "I feel like I have to fight with him every time I see him. He's always asking about Nightwing and demanding to know when he'll be back and why I won't tell him where he is, blah, blah, blah. He's just- arg -he's seriously doing my fucking head in." Jason looked back up at Dick, "I have to ask in all seriousness, what the hell did you ever see in him?"

Dick's brows pinch the slightest bit, "In Andy?"

Jason nodded.

Dick considered his answer carefully, "Andy is-Andy's a nice guy."

"Yeah you keep saying-"

Dick cut him off, "Andy's a nice guy; he's sweet and kind and kind of shy-"

Jason huffed, "Doesn't seem all that shy to-" Dick pinched him, "- hey ."

"I'm talking, jackass."

"Well you're not exactly selling him here. I still don't get it-I mean what am I missing? Is he a really great lay or something?"

Dick smirked and looked thoughtful.

"Seriously?"

Dick grinned, but shook his head.

"That bad, huh?" Jason tried not to laugh, "Figures-"

"Actually," Dick thought on his answer a bit longer than Jason cared for. "I wouldn't know."

"Wouldn't know? Wait, so you're telling me you dated the guy for three months and you never-"

Dick's shoulder lifted, but his eyes went somewhere to the side, "It's not like we never had the chance it just, it never felt right, you know." He swallowed and his voice took on that watery tone Jason swore was getting more common these days. Mood swings, hormones whatever they were, it made conversations switch way too damn fast for Jason to keep up with, "The truth is I spent the whole time I was with Andy trying to get you out of my head and I-I couldn't. I just couldn't-"

Jason sat up and stared. His heart clenched and the moment he saw even a shine of what looked like tears, Jason grabbed the other man and pressed their lips together. He mumbled a word or two of comfort, love you fell off his tongue like a mantra and in between kisses and soft assurances, Dick fell easily into his embrace.

"I was such a goddamn idiot."

Dick choked on a laugh, but didn't respond.

In a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on a bit too long, Dick finally asked, "Can I get that massage now?"

Before Jason's hands could even adjust themselves to adhere to such a request, before the biting reply that would ultimately be a yes, covered in layers of sarcasm could even break through his lips-

-Dick was gone.

Dick was gone and for some reason it felt different than the fading of a memory.

There was a shudder that felt like a cold breeze traveling through Jason's lungs.

A hand-hard and cold-too cold-

It felt-

Too cold.

Jason wasn't sure when or how it had happened, but he was pretty sure there were tears trailing down his face.

All he could hear was the word gone. His heart shuddered and the cold biting hand of loss squeezed at his insides.

Gone.

All of it was-

Gone.