Nerves

Part Two: Loss

.

May sniffed, rubbing away the latest batch of tears that trickled down her cheeks. She was crouched underneath a willow tree that stood a considerable distance away from the Contest Hall. The Grand Festival had ended, but the after party was still booming lively. The sun had set long ago, leaving May surrounded by the creeping darkness of the evening. Golden light only faintly reached her as it shone through the stained glass windows from the Contest Hall and stretched across the lawn in front of her.

May looked up for the millionth time at the crown of the tree wondering how she had failed. Her Blaziken and Glaceon obeyed her commands beautifully and had given their best in the final battle. She was proud of their work and they had most definitely gotten stronger during their training throughout the Johto Contest Circuit. But, once again, she had not been quite good enough to win. Her Pokémon were powerful. But her coordinating… still needed more polishing. She'd been nervous, and it had thrown her off balance. Solidad had took her down quickly, her points draining away with seemingly little effort. May knew she needed more training before she could hope to ever beat Solidad.

May wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her body as she buried her face in the space between her arms. She was embarrassed, and felt like she had failed her Pokémon. Now she had to figure out her next move…But she had no idea what to do.

She felt a feathery weight press down on her green bandana and looked up to see a familiar bug Pokémon looking down at her. The Pokémon trilled in greeting. May blinked. "Masquerain? But where's-"

"Well, this is odd… Why do we keep meeting like this?" May snapped her head to the side and saw the source of the voice, Drew, emerging from the darkness. His silhouette was only illuminated by the faint golden light. He recalled his Masquerain and pocketed the pokéball before glancing down at May.

"What are you doing out here alone in the dark?" May asked, her voice only slightly wavering. She was surprised he hadn't retreated back to the Pokémon Center yet. He had looked completely exhausted even at the closing ceremony.

"Training, duh. But we're done now," Drew replied as if the answer were obvious. Then he folded his arms and added with a more serious tone, "The same could be asked of you. I thought you loved these after parties. What are you doing out here alone in the dark, May? It's almost midnight."

May exhaled, sinking her face into the folds of her arms once again and closing her eyes. "Nothing…" she groaned.

She heard the sound of shoes scuffling and grass ruffling. She briefly glanced over to see that Drew had seated himself to her right and was leaning against the tree trunk.

"You're upset," he simply stated.

"I'm fine," May mumbled shortly into her arms.

"No. You're upset," Drew pressed, folding his arms. "This is unlike you… What's wrong?"

May sighed and was silent for a long moment. Then, still burying her face in her arms, she slowly admitted, "I… I failed my Pokémon today."

Drew looked over at her, disbelievingly. "How?"

May sniffed. Her throat was beginning to tighten. "I believed in them, and they were wonderful… But we lost…because of me… I got nervous. I wasn't quick enough, and I couldn't predict Solidad's moves… My coordinating was off. It's been off for a while. I'm stuck… I've hit a wall," her voice was escalating as she vented, and her shoulders began lightly shaking as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I don't know what to do now," she huffed, looking up. Drew continued staring at her, letting her speak her thoughts.

"I'm holding my Pokémon back from their full potential because I'm not good enough as a coordinator!" she finally blurted, and then a high pitched sound emitted from her throat as she didn't hold back and began bawling in front of her rival.

Immediately, Drew panicked. He had never seen May this vulnerable before, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. He almost wished Roserade was out of his pokéball to help him figure out what he should do. Had May cried after she lost the Kanto Grand Festival last year, too? He supposed her friends and brother had been there to comfort her then. His thoughts raced. What would they do?

He reached out, extremely cautiously, almost as if making physical contact with her might burn him. He slowly laid his arm over her shaking shoulders before lightly brushing his fingers over her opposite arm. At his touch, May glanced at him through her watery eyes, and met his concerned gaze. After only a moment, she accepted his gesture and threw herself into his hug, letting her tears fall onto his purple jacket as she crashed into his shoulder.

The coordinator held tightly onto Drew as if he was the only thing keeping her attached to the ground. Drew wrapped his other arm around May to comfort her as she sobbed. Several minutes passed and he didn't say anything but listened to her pouring her feelings out. Eventually, her sobs slowed until they were reduced to short whimpers and sniffles.

A warm breeze flew by the pair, blowing Drew's green bangs into his face as it did so, and he closed his eyes in thought. Quietly, he said, "You were really nervous before you went out there, so you weren't thinking straight… I know the feeling. Solidad is really intimidating. She knows she's good. Especially now that she's a Two-Time Top Coordinator."

May nodded to indicate she'd heard him, still sniffling quietly. She could feel the hum of his voice in his chest as she leaned against his shoulder. She knew her tears were forming a wet stain on his jacket but he didn't seem to mind.

After a moment, Drew began again. "The first time I lost to Solidad… I completely broke down… It was the first time I had come face to face with someone who completely destroyed me, and with almost no effort… It made me question if I really wanted to be a coordinator. If I could ever become that much better. If it would be worth the work I would have to do and with no guarantees of the outcome I wanted... I've told you this before, but I was a bundle of nerves back then. I was so insecure about my coordinating abilities that it caused me to completely bomb the next few contests after my loss to Solidad. I almost quit."

"But… this is the second time I've lost to her in a Grand Festival, and I lost even worse this time…" May sniffled softly.

Drew, with his eyes still closed, seized the opportunity to move his arms a little and shift May closer to him so he could hold her tighter. May seemed too upset to notice their intimacy. "True… and I can only imagine the state you were in after your first loss," he lightly teased. May groaned in protest and Drew smirked, continuing. "You say you feel like you've failed, but this is an important step forward for you. After the last Grand Festival, you were far more concerned about finding your own style. Now, you're finding it… You just need to hone it. Your Pokémon have grown in the past year and so have you. Now you just need to perfect all your new ideas and make everything come together in sync… And be confident. You're good, and you should know that." He inhaled and yawned. "You do all that, and I'm sure you can beat Solidad."

May was quiet for a moment as she considered his thoughts. "And what about you?"

Drew grinned. "May… You've beaten me in two Grand Festivals now… but… just you wait until next year… You'll be in for a big surprise. I'm going to kick your butt."

"We'll see about that," she said, giggling a little now that Drew was beginning to cheer her up. "But I meant, what happened to you back then?"

Drew hummed. "To make a long story short, I decided I needed to change my methods... I started training a lot more often. More intensely. It was really hard for me to go back to a contest after going through that rough period. I was so nervous that I'd screw up again and I would be back to square one… But…" He paused. "If you never take that first step back in the right direction after you fall, you'll never have any chance of getting to where you want to be. I gained more confidence as me and my Pokémon trained together and competed more. That eventually helped me fight the nerves and it improved my stage presence. Then, when it came down to the real competitions, I could keep my cool."

"Hmm," May considered his story. She hadn't realized Drew went through such a big conflict so early in his coordinating career. It definitely explained why he was so intensely focused on training all the time, and why he seemed so smooth on the stage. "I guess I need to find my own way to move forward, then."

"Yeah," Drew quietly responded.

After several noiseless minutes, she shifted in Drew's arms so she could look back at the Contest Hall. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and glanced down at her faintly lit outline. Drew's arms were still wrapped around her midsection with no indication of detaching any time soon. She looked back at his face and noticed, even in the faint light, that his eyes were still closed. His head was leaning back against the tree trunk.

She looked back at the contest hall for a while, thinking about everything Drew had said. The shadows of people inside were beginning to become less numerous as the party began dying down for the night. May decided she would start training fresh for the next contest circuit—after giving her Pokémon a well-deserved break, of course.

"Drew," she started, softly, wanting to thank him. He made no reaction so she repeated his name again. "Drew?" She furrowed her brow, then realized his breathing had slowed considerably. "Oh gosh…" she whispered, a smile creeping onto her face.

He'd… fallen asleep.

She stared at him for a few moments. He was cute when he sleeping… But May was tired and wanted to go back to the Pokémon Center. Unfortunately, he had to wake up so she could stand.

She poked his cheek with her index finger and he immediately opened his eyes, confusion dominating his expression before he remembered his surroundings. He looked over and saw May still cradled in his arms. "Oh!" Flustered, he quickly released May from his grip. "Sorry…"

"It's okay. It's late," May giggled. "I wanted to thank you for cheering me up. I feel a lot better now," May said before yawning and standing up. She put out her hand and helped Drew stand too. He nodded in response, still flustered in the face.

"I think we both need a good night's sleep after today," May said, beginning to walk towards the Pokémon Center in the distance.

"Agreed," Drew mumbled, putting his hands in his pockets and following behind. Lately, it seemed he was really good at getting into awkward situations involving May…

.

.

.

.

A/N: I realize this chapter has a sadder tone than the previous one! So… I'm sorry if you weren't expecting this as the next part! I'd like to do at least one more chapter, possibly focusing more on Drew, as a conclusion!