Tolerating No Rivals

Chapter 6

A Mile in Your Shoes

Mabel blinked. Why did she suddenly feel so weak and vulnerable? Why did her body suddenly feel so tense? Like she was expecting one of the mean girls at school to attack her for no reason at all.

And why was she looking at herself in a mirror? Wasn't she just looking at Dipper just a second ago?

And why were her hands gripping…her…own…shoulders.

"Now, Mabel, don't panic," Mabel's own body spoke to her.

"And why shouldn't I panic?" Mabel asked in Dipper's voice.

"Because if you panic then I'll panic," Mabel's body replied.

"Well then, all aboard the panic train," Dipper's voice replied an octave higher than normal.

That's when the screaming started.

After The Biggest Panic Attack of All Time—but seriously why did no one come to check on them after they spent a solid 5 minutes screaming wordlessly at each other—Mabel's body aka Dipper finally started analyzing the situation.

"Okay, so we're in each other's bodies," Dipper-in-Mabel's-body said.

"Gee, thanks for the tip, sister dearest," Mabel snarked back.

Dipper arched Mabel's eyebrow back at her/him, "That was uncalled for, Mabel. You know how I work. I start with the obvious and work my way to the not-obvious." Dipper glanced away to return to thinking about the present situation.

Mabel sighed, "Right, sorry Dipper. I'm just feeling really vulnerable right now. Also, my ribs are killing me. Is my body bothering you the same way? Switching bods must hurt a lot. I'm not looking forward to switching back."

Dipper was only half paying attention, so without even thinking he answered, "No, that's just the phantom pain. Fractured ribs will do that from time to time. Don't worry, we'll switch back before you'll need to learn how to…block…it…out." Dipper had looked up in time to see a look of dawning horror upon his own face causing him to realize he'd said too much.

Dipper coughed, "But never mind all that, we need to figure out how to switch back." Dipper moved away from his own body due to a compulsive need to distance himself from the awkwardness of his accidental omission. And in doing so stepped off the carpet.

Mabel followed and gripped her own shoulder, "Oh, no you don't! No more secrets. You are going to tell me right now why every one of your ribs is aching on me." Dipper opened her mouth, "And don't you dare lie to me like I'm an idiot. I've noticed every lie you've ever told me and each one has hurt more than the last. C'mon, Dipper, you can trust me with anything. Honestly, you should know that by now…"

Mabel was shocked to see a fat tear roll down her own cheek, "Sorry, Mabs, but your body is a lot more emotional than my own. It seems we didn't swap brains when we swapped souls."

Mabel opened Dipper's mouth, "You're dodging, Dips. Tell me, why are your ribs hurting?"

Suddenly Mabel's eyes flooded with tears and Dipper found himself flinging her body into what was once his own arms. Mabel reflexively wrapped his arms around the crying girl and was surprised to find how good hugging her own body felt. I guess our bodies remember our own sexualities even after flip-flopping souls. Is this how Dipper feels every time we hug?

But Mabel did not have time to analyze that feeling—granted she was never the analyzing type anyway—because the bawling girl in his—HER!—arms had started choking out words.

"It hurt so bad, Mabel. There were days when I just wanted the nightmare to end. I've must have planned a million ways to kill myself by now, but I could never do it! I could never abandon you. I'm living because you were still there," Dipper sobbed into his own chest, and yet his body had never felt safer than when it was wrapped in another's arms in that very moment.

"Who did this to you, Dipper?" Mabel whispered has she rubbed her—HIS!—back.

Dipper looked up with Mabel's tear-filled eyes and whispered back, "Father."

And in that moment Mabel finally understood what hate was as his—Her—veins filled with ice. Her heart was hammering as her very much male brain screamed at her to kill the bastard that would dare harm her beloved.

But the rage could not be channeled. The bastard was already dead. So she just hugged her own body to her even more tightly and swore to whatever god would listen to her: No one will ever hurt Dipper again and live.

After several minutes, Dipper's crying slowed.

"Thanks, Mabel, I didn't know how much I needed that," Dipper said hoarsely as he rubbed his hand across her/his face.

"You'll never have to thank me for that…but you are always welcome, Dipper," Mabel spoke softly with Dipper's voice. "I'm serious Dipper: don't bottle things up. I want you to come to me with everything, okay?"

Dipper gave Mabel a sardonic smile, "Does that include my strange and totally non-platonic adoration for you, Mabel dearest?"

Mabel paused, "…yes, Dipper, including that."

Dipper felt her—HIS!—eyes widen slightly, "You know I'm totally going to hold you to that even though I was half joking…"

"If our twinship is ever going to keep twining then we need to be open with each other, Dipper. Including openness about…that," Mabel spoke.

"Right…I guess we should focus on the matter at hand then. We are in each other's bodies," Dipper changed the subject. And it was in that moment that a thought crystalized in Mabel's mind. She was in Dipper's body.

And that meant that if she did anything everyone would think it was Dipper doing it.

If I can get Wendy to accept Dipper's love for her he'll move on. Really it's so obvious that he is only misdirecting his affection for her onto me because she seems so beyond his reach. All he really needs to do is be more confident and forward. If he acted like he does with me around Wendy then definitely Wendy would reciprocate. Surely. And then I would be free to have a summer romance without Dipper ruining it.

Mabel's stomach soured at the thought, but she decided to blame that on all of the passed summer romances her dear brother had already ruined rather than the fact that she was planning to set Dipper up with Wendy.

"I have full confidence in you Dipper, but first there is something I gotta do," Mabel replied.

Dipper felt her eyebrows draw together, "And what would you possibly need to do that requires being in my body?"

Mabel smiled cheekily as she ran off, "Why, aggresively flirting with Wendy of course!"

Dipper felt his blood chill, "Mabel, don't! My relationship with Wendy is a delicate balancing act!" he shouted as he ran after her.

Dipper-in-Mabel's-body arrived in the gift shop just in time to see his meticulously balanced relationship with Wendy end in a single instant. He felt his soul die a little as he watched himself greet Wendy with a devil-may-care smile and a firm slap to her ass.

Wendy let out a shriek before turning to glare at who she assumed to be a handsy tourist. A handsy tourist who was about to get a boot up his ass. Much to her surprise instead of stranger there stood Dipper who was grinning as if possessed by Satan.

"Sup, babe, you ready to go on a hot date with me?" Mabel-possessed-Dipper was all confidence.

Dipper started thinking fast. Ok, so Mabel's ruined everything. But I can still mitigate the damage by…escalating.

Dipper-in-Mabel's-body walked up beside Wendy before anyone Wendy included could fully process the past few seconds. He placed Mabel's hand directly on Wendy's ass, looked squarely into his own eyes and said, "Sorry, broseph, Wendy will have to decline. She already has a 'hot date' with me. Isn't that right, Wendy?" To emphasize the point he gave a modest squeeze

Dead silence.

Mabel-in-Dipper glared at her brother in her body. How dare you trick Wendy into questioning my sexuality! "How dare you try and steal Wendy away from me, Mabel!"

"What?" Wendy flushed as her brain shut down from being the object of lust of not one but two Pines siblings.

"It's not stealing, Dipper. Wendy's ass is my birthright. I am the alpha twin," Dipper in Mabel grinned back as he gave another squeeze.

Mabel couldn't believe what she was hearing. I'm trying to get you a girlfriend, Dipper and you are countering by trying to get ME a girlfriend? Howsdatwork?

"I won't stand for this, Mabel!" Mabel shouted into her own face, "I challenge you to a dual of honor! Winner gets Wendy's hand!"

"Nay, brother-of-mine, winner gets Wendy's ass! We duel at sunset tomorrow!" Dipper shouted back into his own face.

"Does anyone care what I have to say about all this?" Wendy angrily tried to break in after she finished gingerly removing Mabel's hand from her hindquarters.

"No!" Mabel and Dipper shouted together.

"I'm leaving now before you guys assault me again. Also, I'm reporting you both to Soos in human resources," Wendy fled the situation as fast as her feet can take her.

"I can't believe you cock blocked me, Dipper. I'mma just trying to get you a girlfriend," Mabel was frustrated after they had retreated to the privacy of their attic.

"You already know who I want to be my girlfriend, sister dear, and it isn't Wendy," Dipper grossed back, "Moreover, I prefer to keep Wendy as a friend who thinks of me only as a naïve child and not a lecherous old man."

"AAARRGGH," Mabel grunted

"AAARRGGH, right back at you," Dipper glared.

Mabel threw Dipper's body onto her bed and groaned, "Oh well, at least I finally got an opportunity to slap Wendy's ass."

"I thought you were straight, Mabes..." Dipper leaned into the wall next to his bed.

"I am Dipperoon, but some butts are made for spanking and Wendy's got one of 'em. Add to that your crazy boy hormones and you have a recipe for impulsive ass slaps," Mabel reminisced.

"I am certainly glad that I have more self control than you. Otherwise I probably would have assaulted half of Gravity Falls by now," Dipper half smiled.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Dips. You seemed pretty impulsive when you used your tongue to-," suddenly Mabel stilled, "We have to switch back soon, Dips."

"And why is that?"

"Because I have an erection..."

Okay, so I realize that it's been a whole year since last update and that this chapter is super short compared to the other ones. I have reasons, but still I am sorry to all those who were looking for an update for so long.