Reference to: 'The Vacation Solution'; 'The Leftover Thermalization'

xTBBTx Epilogue One xTBBTx

Amy was scowling as she put away her lab equipment for the night. Since she'd launched the latest counterattack she hadn't heard from anyone except for Bernadette. From what she said, Penny and Leonard were over and as far as she knew Sheldon and Martha were still together.

"One out of two," Amy muttered as she took off her lab coat.

She could work on the happy couple from a closer proximity—if she heard back from the stupid university. Since Faisal was terminating her funding she needed some place else with adequate research facilities close to Sheldon and Caltech fit the bill. Amy had slipped in her application and, with her credentials, assumed she would be a shoe-in. However, it had been two weeks and she'd heard nothing.

Amy took up her phone and called the university HR department.

"Hello, this is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. I put in an application at the university and was wondering its status."

"One moment, Dr. Fowler," the woman replied. About thirty seconds went by. "Ah. Your application has been rejected."

"What? Why?! I've worked at the university on a joint project. I've written articles for Neuron magazine and had an—"

"From what I'm reading it's because of personal complaints against you."

"It's Sheldon Cooper, isn't it?" Amy growled. "Everyone knows he's crazy."

"Dr. Fowler, we saw you in his office," the woman said as diplomatically as she could.

"But he broke into my apartment!"

"We also have Dr. Wallace and a graduate student who have filed grievances," the woman continued.

"Alex Jenson?" Amy seethed. "She was after Sheldon so she'd do anything for him. Same with Martha. Completely unreliable accusers. They're obviously obsessed with him."

"Regardless, we think it'd be best if you applied elsewhere. We see Dr. Cooper enough around here. Frankly, we don't need the additional drama."

Amy hung up and let out a growl.

"Rat bastard!" She picked up her purse and locked up her lab before venturing to her car. She'd have to look elsewhere for employment. Perhaps Chicago? Obviously she couldn't use Caltech as a reference; neither could she use her supervisor from the big addiction study since Amy was fired.

As she drove Amy mulled over who to call. She still had some contacts. She'd land on her feet. The only thing was that she wasn't the type to turn tail and run. She didn't want Sheldon to think he had won. She wanted Sheldon to suf—

Amy noted a bunch of picketers in front of her building. She signaled and drove to her parking spot before venturing to the front to see what was what.

"There she is!" yelled a young woman as she pointed at Amy.

The crowd began to boo and hiss.

"Monkey killer!" a man called out.

"How could you do that to Ricky!" called out another.

Horrified and frightened, Amy looked at the various protest signs with her face with 'Monkey killer' scrawled over it as well as pictures of Ricky smoking and his necropsy.

She did her best to squeeze through the protestors and slip into the building. This was the last thing she needed right now. Bypassing the mail box she went straight to the elevator and up to her floor.

As she approached her apartment she saw a letter halfway tucked beneath her door. She slid it out and saw that it was from her building manager. With a frown she opened her apartment and stepped inside before tearing open the envelope.

Her eyes widened as she took in the eviction notice.

Apparently someone had let the building management know that she had Ricky in the apartment. Not only was having a monkey in the apartment violating the no pets policy but the management was under the impression that Amy was breaking the animal cruelty law by giving Ricky cigarettes.

She went to her laptop and fired off an email to Sheldon:

You think you're so smart, don't you? Believe me when I say this isn't over.

Amy hit send and was about to close her laptop when she got an indication that an email had come in. She looked and it was from Sheldon. She clicked on it and there was a link. She clicked on that and a video started.

Sheldon was sitting at his desk with a smug look on his face.

"Greetings stapler licker," he began. "As you're writing me I'll assume that you've experienced my little surprises." He leaned towards the camera. "Keep in mind that right now I'm merely toying with you. Should you not cease your activities and leave my friends and me alone I assure you you'll face a wrath worthy of the supervillain I am." He grinned. "Muah ha ha."

The screen went dark and Amy closed the email.

"Leave your friends alone, huh?" she said. "Wait until the university learns how Howard, Raj and Leonard sabotaged your Arctic experiment and Martha gets that unwashed mug that was once filled with cerebral spinal fluid from an elephant that died of syphilis." She looked to a Doctor Who mug that was encased in a clear plastic box. "How fitting that the man-stealing whore should catch—"

A sudden knock at her door made her jump.

Taking a breath of air to steady her nerves, Amy got off the couch and went to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw that it was an auburn-haired woman in a frumpy pantsuit. Amy opened the door.

"Amy Farrah Fowler?" asked the woman.

"Yes?" Amy replied hesitantly.

"I'm Detective Nora Glass from the Pasadena Police Department. I was wondering if we could step inside and talk about a break and enter at Caltech three weeks ago?"

Now white-faced, Amy let the woman inside.

"I see you have quite the fan club downstairs," Nora said nonchalantly.

"They're just after me because I'm a researcher," Amy said nervously. "So what can I help you with?"

"Caltech security passed along the break in at"—she checked her notepad—"Dr. Sheldon Cooper's office since it was rather—unusual."

"Oh?" Amy said.

"Now this seems to be a slam dunk case given that we have the break in on video but I thought it best to also get an explanation since what the prowler did in there was pretty messed up." As Nora had watched the video she had no doubt Amy was on a one-way trip to the hoo-ha house.

"It's all Sheldon!" Amy said. "He won't leave me alone!" She went to her computer. "I broke up with him about a year ago and since I've come back it's been total harassment." She clicked to her email. "In fact, he even threatened me!"

"I'd like to see that," Nora said as she stepped behind the couch to view the screen.

Amy found Sheldon's email and clicked on the link. Sheldon appeared at his desk but the smarmy look was gone. Instead he was dead serious.

"Amy, I've set up this automatic email because you can't take the hint that I don't want to be in contact with you. Desist now or else I will contact the police. This is your final warning." The screen went dark.

"I think we should continue this at the precinct," Nora said. "While I drive maybe you can tell me about your roommate Ricky."

Without a word Amy flumped back on the couch.

Check mate.

xTBBTx Epilogue Two xTBBTx

Howard exited the kitchen into the dining room to see how Leonard was doing setting the dishes.

"All good?" Howard asked.

"As good as gold," Leonard replied. "I've got some extra candles at the ready in case the power doesn't come back on before we're finished eating. So how's the food prep going?"

"Raj and Stuart have things in check." Leonard could see Howard's expression change before the engineer sucked it up and gave a pained smile. "I'll go see how they're doing."

As he left Leonard took a moment before placing the serviettes around the table. Over the past couple of weeks since Howard's mother died both Stuart and he had done their best to keep Howard together. It was a sad time for them all, really, as Mrs. Wolowitz had not only provided Stuart with a job and a roof over his head but she also took in Leonard when Penny and he broke up. As much as Leonard had teased Howard for how close he was with his mother there was no denying that she loved her bubalas.

There was a knock at the door and Leonard's heart began to thump loudly in his chest.

"Sheldon, can you get the door?" he called out.

In the living room Sheldon got off the couch and went to the door. He opened it and there was Penny before him in a black sundress with a red short jacket and heels carrying a bag of wine bottles.

"Hey Moonpie," she grinned as she took in his purple plaid apparel. "Nice suit."

"Penny, only my Meemaw calls me that," he grumbled as she entered the house.

"Hey," she said cheerily to Martha as the latter stood. "Everything ready?"

"Soon enough," Martha replied. "Raj chased us out of the kitchen so we're out here waiting for the feast. How's the move going?"

"Pretty quick. It helps that I know where everything fits in 4B." She grinned at Sheldon. "Looks like we're neighbours again." She held up the bag. "I brought some wine and since the power's off we better get popping these while they're" —Leonard came into the living room—"cold."

"Hi," he said meekly.

"Dinner is being served," said Stuart as he opened the dining room door. "We could use some hands getting it to the table."

"On my way," said Leonard and departed.

"So, Moonpie?" asked Martha as she loosely wrapped her arms around Sheldon's waist. "Why does your grandmother call you that?"

"Yeah, why does she?" Penny piped in.

"You know why," Sheldon snapped.

"He says that she calls him Moonpie because he's so nummy nummy she could eat him all up."

"Are you finished?" Sheldon said with a scowl.

"Just taking in the rest of your sour puss," chuckled Penny. She paused as she grinned at his glare. "And we're done."

Penny went into the dining room.

"Nummy nummy, huh?" Martha gently teased.

"Please don't call me Moonpie," Sheldon sighed.

Martha kissed him. "Your secret's safe with me, Superman."

Another kiss and then they went to join their friends.

xTBBTx

A/N: For those of you who might think my handling of Bernadette and Amy was harsh I'd like to point out that I didn't start writing fan fiction with the intent to hang them by their own idiotic portrayals on the show. My earlier fics painted the both of them in a positive light because to me they were positive—in the beginning.

Things then went right off the cliff when they had Amy sexually interested in Sheldon because not only did she become uber 'desperate' but also her 'pity party boo hoo I had a lonely life' went to extremes as now we, the audience, plus the gang and Sheldon were supposed to feel bad for her because Sheldon wouldn't do or be what she wanted. Now based on her persona since s5 the best way to describe Amy *is* by calling her desperate and pathetic. Her 'tragic past' and 'long suffering' are justifications for all she does in her pursuit of Sheldon.

Bernadette never made sense to me because she isn't a 'real' person. I've seen better Witness Protection backstories than what they scraped together for her. Bernadette was there to be Howard's wife; there was no independent life apart from the guys because she had no life, period. Absolutely no thought went into Bernadette and it shows given how she is now a one joke pony of nice girl/bat shit angry girl-IMO they flog this to death because it is finally something they came up with that's a 'Bernadette quirk' so to speak. Without it, the writers need only have written 'Howard's Wife' to indicate her dialogue in a script because that's the only thing of interest in her otherwise unlife.

The show just isn't as funny as it once was and I think it needs a return to the basics—the dynamic five plus quirky (and limited) secondary characters like Stuart and Martha and Elizabeth. I could write pages and pages about the character personalities in the first four seasons (and I have in my early novels) and what pains me most is that the showrunners have basically tossed all of my beloved characters under the bus and 'remade' them into grossly distorted caricatures of themselves. I'm not opposed to 'growth'; what I am opposed to, however, is lazy writing, and by adding more main characters and beating us over the head with sappy romantic plots the showrunners have made their jobs easier since they don't have to come up with the dynamic dialogue and inventive situations like they did in the early seasons. Boo on them!

This novel was a bit of cathartic indulgence for me to get my writing mojo back after watching the crap that was season 8. Thank you so much for reading. *Lynn