Welcome to the beginning of my Hermione/Sirius/Remus collection.

To be VERY clear, it's not Hermione with two boyfriends, it's an equal triad. So there will also be Hermione/Remus, Hermione/Sirius, and Remus/Sirius.

Therefore, this collection will contain slash.

The various one-shots will be a mix of Marauder Era (admit it, you all love time-travel) and Trio Era.

Books, Chocolate and Leather Jackets

Written for:

Camp Hogwarts: Paintball- Write about an ambush (50 points)

Quidditch Pitch: "Chocolate and flowers won't fix this"

Ultimate Battle Competition: (SPECIAL) Zeus' Thunderbolts [weapon] - price: 1300 words, action genre

Drabble Club: "Want to play a game?"

Want To Play A Game?

Sirius and James walked slowly and carefully through the forest, their wands in hand. Their eyes moved across each tree and bush, listening carefully for any sound at all.

Peter was a couple of paces behind them, his gaze darting about quickly. The sound of a bird flying caused three wands to be pointed up, a flash of colours flying in the bird's direction.

The three looked at each other as the bird flew away, unhurt. A snap of a branch causing them all to spin around, spotting nothing. James moved forward to check it out, but there was nothing nearby.

After a moment of listening for noises, they began walking slowly again. They searched and listened for any sign of the pair they knew to be hiding in the forest, and keeping an eye out for hiding places in case of an attack.

They had thought the pair would have shown themselves by now. None of the trio could work out why it was taking so long. James' stomach was rumbling, and Dorea was sure to have dinner on the table soon.

Sirius' eyes were squinting into the distance. "I saw movement over there," he whispered, carefully moving in the direction, trying not to make a noise. James followed, Peter still bringing up the rear.

His wand at the ready, he approached the spot, listening to a rustle. He shot a spell, only to find a small rabbit.

"Crap," he muttered. He turned to James and Peter. "Do you think they're still here?"

"No doubt about it," James muttered, not stopping to look at Sirius, his eyes moving around, hoping to spot any movement.

Sirius sighed. "Maybe we could cast detection spells?"

"They'd know," James said. "We have to do this the muggle way. Those were the orders... or do you want to break the rules?"

Sirius quickly shook his head. "It'll take a braver man than me," he stated.

...oOo...

Another crack had them on alert again. They slowly walked through the trees, listening to the sounds in the distance, following them.

A fox ran out, the three distracted for a moment, and they heard a giggle in the distance, and Sirius narrowed his eyes. "That's her sex giggle," he announced. "They're shagging! We're walking around like fools, and they are hiding in a bush having sex... without me! That's so unfair, I've been begging them for us to do it outside in the forest!"

"Sex giggle?" James gaped, looking at Sirius. He lowered his wand, forgetting about the game for a moment. "What the fuck is a sex giggle?"

Sirius looked back at James as though his friend was crazy. "You don't know what a sex-giggle is?" he asked. "Well, usually when my lovely Hermione gets all shy, before she starts moaning our names because we're -"

"Let's focus on the game," Peter interrupted, glaring at James with a 'do you really want to know?' look.

Sirius led the way to where the giggle had come from, and they froze. There were signs that someone had been there recently. A few sticks broken on the ground, and Hermione's jacket shoved under one of the bushes.

Sirius pulled it out, holding it up to James and Peter.

"They've been here," Sirius said, looking around. "Probably dropped this on the way."

"Are you sure they dropped it?" James asked, doubtfully. He was becoming more and more concerned that they hadn't found the pair yet - maybe they were better at this whole hiding game than James and Sirius had given them credit for?

"Of course," Sirius said. "They probably got so caught up in each other's sexy bodies..." he trailed off, a lustful gleam in his eyes. "Can't say I blame them. Let's find them quickly." He started forward again.

"Ambush," James roared, as without warning, a barrage of paint-balls rained down around them.

"I've been hit," Peter cried, wiping at the yellow paint staining his robes.

Sirius ducked behind a tree, as James stared mournfully at his arm, which had blue paint dripping down it. James and Peter took a seat on a nearby fallen log, and Sirius looked around him. His eyes fell on Remus, as he approached, wearing clothes with different greens all over them. Sirius glanced at his paint gun, but it was pointed at the ground, dangling loosely from his fingers.

Sirius kept his wand trained on Remus, but he could see that Remus' hair was all messed and his shirt was untucked, and was that an undone button on his trousers? He couldn't help but lick his lips at the sight. He loved it when the usually immaculate Remus Lupin was dishevelled.

"Hey love," Remus murmured, dropping his gun and moving close to Sirius. "Having fun?" His lips teased over Sirius' making Sirius lean in, trying to capture Remus' lips, but Remus kept out of reach.

"I'd be having more fun if you kissed me," Sirius stated, spinning Remus around, shoving him against the tree he had been hiding behind. His lips attacked Remus', moving down to his neck, his hands under Remus' shirt.

Suddenly something wet was dripping down his neck, and he froze, bringing his hand up, and coming back with pink paint.

He slowly turned around, looking at the smug witch, dressed in similar clothes to Remus, holding a paint gun.

"That's cheating."

Remus shook his head. "You shouldn't have let yourself get distracted," he said, smirking.

"We'll share the chocolate with you," Hermione said, moving closer.

"Chocolate and flowers won't fix this," Sirius muttered.

Remus chuckled, his hands wrapping around Sirius from behind.

"What will?" Hermione asked.

Sirius grabbed Hermione's wrist, pulling her close. "You, my little witch, how very Slytherin of you. You're dressed all in green too!" Before she could disagree, his lips were on hers.

"It's camouflage," Remus corrected, leaning in to press his lips against the side of Sirius' neck.

...oOo...

"I'm bored," James muttered, laying on the floor of the dorm, looking up at the other occupants.

"Want to play a game?" Remus suggested.

"A game?" Sirius asked. He smiled slowly. "Is it one that involves a bed?" His gaze slipped to Hermione suggestively, and she rolled her eyes.

"No, but we could play Paint-balling," Hermione suggested.

"What's that?" James asked, curiosity spiked. "I've never heard of it."

"It's a great game, I played it with... some old friends," she explained. "Basically we go on teams and hide. We shoot paintballs at each other, if you get hit, you're out. The last person standing's team is the winner."

"Sounds really easy," Sirius said, snorting. He looked between Hermione and Remus. "Who wants to be on my team?" He asked. "Because mine is the winning team."

"Great idea," James said, looking at Sirius. "Me and you be captains, that way the teams are more fair. I mean, how unfair would it be to Hermione and Remus if me and you were on the same team."

Hermione bit her lip, turning to meet Remus' offended gaze.

"Actually," Remus said. "Why don't you both be on the same team, I think I want to be on a team with Hermione."

"Oh Moonpie, don't be upset," Sirius said, crawling across the bed and wrapping his arms around Remus' waist, but Remus pushed him away.

"And to make things more interesting, let's have a prize," Hermione added.

"I don't think it's fair -" James began.

"A month's supply of chocolate," Remus said, interrupting James.

Peter looked between them all. "What about me?" he asked.

"You can be on whichever team you think will win," Remus offered.

"Right, I'm on James' team," he replied.

Hermione and Remus smiled at each other. "I'll go rent some equipment," she said, sliding off James' bed and leaving the room.

"Can't we use our wands?"

"If you prefer," Remus said. "Let me find a suitable spell for you."

He grabbed a couple of books and took his seat again, ignoring the voice in his ear.

"I promise not to beat you too bad, Moonpie."

"I'm afraid I can't promise the same thing," Remus replied, with a smirk.

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