Of Hopes, Dreams and Nightmares

Author's Note: This is an OC centric one-shot that takes place the summer after the conclusion of The Escapades of Teddy Lupin. While it can be read as a stand-alone piece, it would be better understood after reading the aforementioned story.

Alfie Hayes stares out of his window, dreaming of a fantastical life.

He imagines finding out that he is a wizard and travelling to a school in Scotland, where ordinary subjects like Math and English are forgotten, and he instead learns how to brew potions, cast magical spells and fly. He imagines making the best friends he's ever had in this school: a boy with bright turquoise hair who has the kindest smile he's ever seen, and an intelligent girl who is feisty, but always sticks up for others. He imagines the adventures that they go on together: stealing books from the library and then returning them when they find out what they contain, sneaking into an upperclassman's dorm, making a frog sing opera.

And then he remembers the best part of his imaginary world: it isn't imaginary at all. These are all his memories; everything really happened.

He still can't believe it.

He sighs and flops back down on his bed, next to his open Herbology book. He glances at the Minius Florebit on his bedside table that had been a present for his achievements in Herbology. He knows that he needs to work in order to keep his grades up, but he can't bring himself to do his homework; he can't immerse himself in his magical, beautiful world when he's in the dull, ordinary one.

He'd be lying if he says that he doesn't love being home, because he does. It's great to see his parents again, to get back into his daily routine. He loves walking outside, down the streets in Oxford, watching the plethora of tourists, students and academics mix and go about their daily business. But there's something about it that lacks charm, lacks magic.

His best friends, Ella Anderson and Teddy Lupin are having much better summers than he is. Teddy, of course, is wrapped up in the magical world; he's always visiting his cousins and his uncles and aunts, who seem to have the most fascinating jobs. One owns a magical joke shop, another works at the Ministry of Magic, another fights bad wizards. Alfie wishes that he were acquainted with such wonderful individuals. He'd have so many questions for them.

Ella, on the other hand, is in Central London, but she seems to be keeping herself busy. Alfie's amazed that her mysterious parents let her roam around the city unattended—he can barely walk down the street before his mother calls to check where he's going and make sure he hasn't been hit by a car yet—but she seems to be enjoying herself. She's been visiting both Muggle and Wizarding sites, and has even ventured into Diagon Alley, once or twice.

He wishes he could be with them, having all sorts of adventures, instead of sitting at home. His parents are trying to keep him occupied: his father is letting him sit in on some of his research sessions and taking him to the library, while his mother is letting him help in the kitchen, but they can't make up for his lack of friends in the city.

All through primary, Alfie had been mocked and ignored by the other students. It had all started back in Year One, when he'd been peering up at the large fish tank, his hands pressed against the glass. He'd wanted to play with the little fishies, and before he knew what was happening, the panel had disappeared and water was gushing out of the tank. Although the teachers were unable to explain what happened, the other children had blamed Alfie, and had called him a freak and a fish-killer.

Sometimes, even now, when he walks around the city, he sees kids he used to go to school with. They gather on the corner near the shops and whisper about him when they see him go by. The poor freak had run away; maybe he'd gone to a school for freaks. Either way, it's good riddance. He probably doesn't have any friends.

Alfie tries not to let them get to him, but they do. He starts taking what they say to heart, even though he knows that he shouldn't. And sometimes he has nightmares, horrible nightmares, of going up to the kids on the corner. He can only see their backs, but he can hear them laughing about him. And when he taps them on the shoulder, they turn around, and he gasps.

He sees Ella and Teddy, laughing at him, mocking him. And he wakes with a start.

He knows that it's not true, that Ella and Teddy would never do such a thing. But he's afraid anyway. Afraid that when he gets back to school, they'll have drifted apart, that he'll be stuck on his own while they find themselves a new group of friends. He's afraid that they won't think he's cool anymore, that they won't want him around.

He's afraid that he'll lose them, and he doesn't think he'll be able to deal with that.

He hasn't told them this. In his letters, he tries to appear calm, rather than overly pushy and desperate. He wants to cling to them, but he doesn't want them to feel burdened by him, so he—somehow—manages to maintain a cool façade.

When Teddy mentions that he went to London for a day, Alfie's afraid that he met up with Ella without him, even though Teddy explicitly states that he was only on the outskirts. When Ella says something about a possible family trip down south, he's afraid that she and Teddy are going to have a holiday and leave him out.

He's been alone for most of his life, and he's scared that loneliness will strike him again.

His fear only disappears when, in mid-July, he receives a letter from Teddy inviting him to stay at his house in Godric's Hollow in August.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that little drabble! Please leave a review with your thoughts!

Just a reminder that the first chapter of The Skeletons in Teddy Lupin's Closet, the sequel to Escapades, will be released on Wednesday 29th July! Hope to see you all then!