Gwen knew that Merlin liked to keep to himself for the most part. She knew that he was goofy and light-hearted and all around just a fun-loving guy, but there was something odd about him, there was no denying it. Even Arthur had pointed it out, as well as Gwaine, amongst the knights. For the life of them, they could never figure out what it was, but each time they saw the young man, it seemed he was weighted down by some invisible force, unwilling to open up and let people lighten his load.

It had started, she noticed, after the whole incident with the escaped druid girl, the one Arthur told her had turned into a vicious beast at night to torment the towns, maybe eat some villagers. Gwen shivered as she remembered that night, staying with Gaius, trying to help any innocent villagers that had gotten hurt during the fight. Merlin, however, had been quiet as he went from person to person, trying to help as inconspicuously as possible.

Like now, Gwen thought, watching as Merlin tried fending off Gwaine, the knight placing the servant in a headlock. The lot of them- Merlin, Arthur, the knights and herself- had decided to take a day off from their duties, go on a picnic and have fun for a day. Elyan was sitting with Percival and Leon, trying to see who could catch grapes with their mouths; Elyan so far was winning, it looked. Gwen was sitting with Arthur, his arm woven around her waist as they rested in the grass.

"Really, I don't see why you girls like having flowers everywhere," Arthur complained as he picked at a crown of purple peonies resting in the woman's brown curls.

"Well, we girls don't understand why you guys enjoy fighting, so consider it a mutual feeling," Gwen teased, poking the sword the prince had resting at his hip, the blade gleaming menacingly in the sun. Arthur shrugged.

"When you're with these knights long enough," Arthur gestured to Gwaine and Merlin, as the two were closest to them, "you learn to stay on your guard." As if to elaborate such a statement, they watched as Gwaine backed away from Merlin, imitating the roar of a lion as he dared take a step towards the servant, who laughed, ready to sprint at any moment. Gwen rested her head on Arthur's shoulder, the fabric of his red shirt warm against her cheek. She liked seeing Merlin smiling, the laugh echoing in her ears.

She hadn't heard it in a while. Neither did Arthur, nor the others, as they lifted their heads toward the sound, making Merlin falter, clear his throat. Cocking his head, Arthur scoffed, "Did Merlin just laugh?"

"It would seem so," Gwen commented, meeting her brother's eye. He raised an eyebrow, jutting his chin in Merlin's direction. Gwen merely shrugged.

"I say we all have lunch, yeah?" Gwaine's voice rang through the meadow, and the knights all were suddenly huddling around Gwen and Arthur, Percival and Leon jabbing one another for more elbow room. Merlin weeded his way between Gwaine and Percival, ducking under the larger man's arm to secure his spot. Carefully, he grabbed the basket sitting in front of Gwen and began rationing the portions, careful to give Arthur his meal first, as was fit for the king. Gwen smiled as Merlin slid a plate towards her, piling it high with mashed potatoes, a sizzling leg of chicken and a healthy spoonful of gleaming orange carrots.

"Merlin, I can't eat all this," she protested, but Merlin ignored her, having moved on to serve the knights.

"A growing woman such as yourself needs strength, Gwen," Merlin finally said, placing the now empty basket in front of him. Gwen watched curiously as he piled the empty plates and utensils into the basket, rearranging himself so he was on his knees.

"Are you not going to eat?" she pointed out. Merlin seemed to freeze, faltering as he rolled up the blue sleeves of his shirt.

"Nah, I'm not really hungry," he tried shrugging off her comment. Before she could say anything more, Arthur chuckled, spewing bits of creamy potatoes from his mouth.

"Not hungry?" he teased, "Are you kidding?"

Merlin shook his head, "Not really, no. Why?"

There seemed to be a slight edge to his tone, but Gwen gave it away to being a bit skittish. Often when they went on patrols, bandits or sorcerers seemed to appear out of nowhere, so it was understandable. But then she realized that this wasn't a patrol. This was a day off from work, being able to spend time with her friends. No need to really worry.

"Because I distinctly remember you stealing my food a while back," Arthur called out, earning laughter from the knights. Gwen glowered, wiggling her fingers as she tried to figure out whether to punch the man she loved square in the jaw. Yes, she loved Arthur, but Merlin was often right in calling him a prat ninety-nine percent of the time.

"Well, he is skinny," Gwaine piped up, his large hand wrapping itself around Merlin's arm, the sleeve riding up to reveal a plane of pale skin, a bony wrist and-

"That's odd, mate," Gwaine scrunched up his face, "Where'd you get that?"

A long, thin mark wormed its way down Merlin's forearm, ending at the crook of his elbow.

A scar, Gwen realized, the skin slightly puckered at the ends, a faded red mark. Merlin jerked his arm away, pushing his sleeve back down. He screwed up his nose as he grabbed the basket of plates.

"I'm gonna go wash these," Merlin announced with finality, and Gwen turned to see him stalk down towards the river bank. She was never really sure why Arthur always chose to have a picnic by the river in the meadow; probably because it was easier on Merlin when he had chores after the meal.

"What was that about?" Arthur smirked, exchanging a glance with Gwaine. Gwen rolled her eyes, pushing herself up from her cross-legged position, pins and needles tingling in her legs as she quickly pecked Arthur on the cheek, walking towards the bed of the river.

"I'll go check on him," GWen called back to them, and she could see Merlin dump the basket unceremoniously on the ground, letting his knees buckle as he began his chores. Gwen never really thought it fair to have Merlin do all the chores Arthur required to be done. Arthur was a fully grown man, so why did he need to have someone help him dress? To make his bed?

Sometimes she really hated the social class system in Camelot.

"Merlin?" Gwen called to her thin friend, watching as he grabbed a dishcloth and began cleaning. His shoulders were slumped forward, and his face seemed contorted in some sort of pain.

Strange.

"Merlin…?" Gwen asked, softer this time, taking care to crouch next to her friend. His bare arms were shown off once more, and in the light, Gwen could see the scar quite clearly. It was an ugly thing, a slash of paint on a blank canvas. She noticed the slight tremble as his voice hitched, trying his best to get the plates clean.

"I'm sorry I snapped," Merlin said, "it wasn't her fault though."

Gwen let her curls fall in her face as she cocked her head, confused, "Her fault? Who gave you that scar?" Merlin licked his lips, glancing at the old wound before sighing heavily. He ignored the dishes, letting the ones that were already wet sit out to dry, leaving the rest in the basket.

"I was in love with her, Gwen," Merlin seemed close to tears, "I promised her I'd protect her-"

"Oh, Merlin…." Gwen breathed, sliding an arm around his shoulder. He seemed, as she rubbed his back in circular motions, smaller than he was, like he was a paper crane folding its wings. Hiding from prying eyes. Even as he made semi-successful attempts to hold back his tears, he looked ready to toss himself in the lake at that moment.

Merlin, she learned, had taken a certain liking to lakes. Why, she wasn't exactly sure, but she always assumed that it gave him a sense of calm, a moment of tranquility in the life that was thrust upon him. With Arthur, you never knew what to expect.

Apparently the same could be said for Merlin.

"I was with her every night when she was in Camelot," Merlin went on to explain, "Freya hated being alone in the dark."

"Freya?" Gwen asked with a smile, "Is that her name?" Merlin nodded.

"Yeah," Merlin said, "Freya… she was everything I could have asked for. She understood me, Gwen, more, I think, than anyone else could-"

"You were in love, Merlin," Gwen giggled, "it's to be expected, something of that notion."

"She was so beautiful, Gwen," Merlin was shaking again, biting his lower lip so hard Gwen thought he might bleed. His blue eyes were as watery as the lake, threatening to run over at any moment, to drown everyone in the general vicinity of their waves.

"She sounds it," Gwen said, eyeing Merlin's scar, "still doesn't explain how she gave you that though." Merlin raised an eyebrow at her and she caught herself, the words tumbling forth, "Of course, you pro- I didn't mean to-"

"Gwen, it's alright," a tiny chuckle set Gwen at ease, "what happened with Freya, she, uh, she scratched me when I bought her dinner one night."

"Oh, how romantic," Gwen teased, "you made her dinner?" At this, Merlin blushed.

"Actually, I was stealing Arthur's food- but don't tell him I told you!" Merlin was quick to ascertain, Gwen shaking her head. It was sweet, that Merlin would steal food for a woman he loved-

Then it struck her. Why would he feel the need to steal Arthur's food instead of just asking the cook for something? Unless, she thought, Arthur didn't know… Glancing at Merlin, she let her thoughts churn.

Melin had been stealing food for this Freya.

Freya and Merlin were in love.

Freya also gave Merlin his scar.

Arthur didn't know.

Gwen tried to recall all the times she had seen Merlin during that time- when Arthur would complain to her about his missing breakfasts or lunches. He was scarce in the castle for some time, but he always looked happier than usual. And then that horrid search had happened. She remembered it quite clearly, the knights all looking for an escaped druid girl. Merlin always was quick to help in those searches, but like the knights, turned up with no sign of having seen a girl. And then, then the Bestat had been tormenting the citizens of Camelot on top of that, and Gwen could picture the ugly cat-like creature flying around. There had been so much blood spilled that week, and once Arthur had vanquished it (with Merlin's help, as the two were like peas in a pod), Camelot had thrown a feast. Merlin had missed about an hour of it due to injury from the monster. For the next month, the servant had been mopey, shirking on his duties and visiting the lake with Gwaine whenever he got the chance.

"Um, Merlin?" Gwen regretted that her voice squeaked, "I'm going to go back to the camp, join me when you're done?"

She was thankful that Merlin was so lost in thought, staring out forlornly at the lake's glassy surface, so he couldn't see the panic in her eyes. There was no way to believe such a thing, she didn't even want to entertain the idea. But Merlin had told her clear as day.

His scar- the one Freya had given him- came from the heart, and Arthur and the knights had caused him an immense amount of pain and suffering, no matter what the servant said otherwise.