So I considered it, and I have decided that this will be a four-parter. I felt that the ways in which everyone woke up deserved its own chapter. NEXT chapter will be the finale, and it will stretch much longer than just three pages like the rest of these. So, here's part three!

Up and at 'Em

Integra's blue eyes blinked open slowly, and she grimaced. Her head felt like it had been split open by a jackhammer and then repeatedly smashed with a mallet. Her mouth was dry and tasted like bile, and her beautiful mane of blonde hair was disheveled and tangled. It would take her forever to finally return it to its normal state. She could not seem to recall how long these 'hangovers' were supposed to last, but she prayed that it would go away within a few hours. It had been such a long time since she had last gotten hammered.

And then she noticed that she was not in her bed. Heavy limbs stiffened when she recognized the scent of blood and gunpowder, as well as a dark red cravat, which she was currently using as a pillow. Oh no. Her eyes trailed slowly, comically slow, up to a pale chin. Oh no.

"Oh yes, my dear. Last night… was so much fun."

Of course, her immediate inferno of rage did nothing to dampen her unbearable headache. Grabbing the cravat in front of her, Integra swiftly sat up on top of Alucard and yanked him up to look her in her square in her frightening eyes. Even the vampire got a little nervous looking at her expression. Had he gone too far?

Integra leaned in and placed her lips near his ear. And then whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear: "If I find out you have… violated me… I am going to snap every bone in your body. And then- AND THEN- I'm going to make you swallow blessed blades. I'm going to slice open your skin and shove crucifixes everywhere. And if one doesn't fit somewhere, I'll just make room for it to fit. I will then dump you in a tub of boiling silver and record the screaming you will absolutely make so I can fall asleep peaceably to it every night. But I won't kill you. No, that won't do. Because that would be showing you a mercy. I will make every day for you, from the now until the day I die, a living nightmare. You will be begging Satan to hurry up and grab your black soul and drag you to into Hell just to get away from me by the end of your first day. Now tell me… how, exactly, did you behave last night?"

Okay, so the joke might have been a bit much. Mental note: do not push Master too far, Alucard thought. He could not help but shiver a little at the thought. Integra was actually scaring him a little bit with the way she was speaking. And he could not help but think that was incredibly attractive. What a woman!

"I was joking, Master," Alucard explained, holding still so that she did not throttle him, much like a 'if I hold still maybe she can't see me' type of strategy. "You still smell like a virgin."

The tight grip she had on his cravat was released, and Integra got up off of him, shoving her platinum hair out of her face. "Good. Now, do you remember anything from l-" after her eyes flicked off of Alucard, the damage done to the council room made her words die in her throat.

Walter was passed out on the one chair that was not thrown across the room. Pip and Seras were still asleep, lying side by side on the table but not touching. There were four horizontal scratch marks at the end of the table, and the wall had a hole in it. A broken computer with a few bullet holes in it was thrown across the room. There were also several other bullet holes in various places and the door was completely ripped off its hinges. Integra placed a hand over her mouth. "What did we do?" she breathed.

The vampire shrugged. "I have no idea. But the camera knows."

With a frustrated sigh, Integra quickly looked around the room and spotted the thing in between Seras and Pip. Just as she was about to head towards it, a large hand stopped hers gently. "Master," Alucard said in a warning tone. "Surely you remember how dangerous vampires are when they are first awoken?"

Integra gave him a puzzled look. "I wake you all the time."

He chuckled. "Yes, but you are my master. It's different, because the seals protect you. But you aren't Seras's master, though technically you have more control over her than I do. Seals can't stop her from attacking you."

She blinked. "Then you wake them up."

A devious smirk lifted his lips. "Of course."

Alucard swept towards the sleeping pair and pushed Pip's shoulder, causing him to fall a painful height onto the floor. With a more than generous amount of cursing, he got up on his hands and knees. The only thing that exited him was more cursing and garbled French for the next few moments as his half-lidded eyes tried to comprehend his hangover.

Seras was awoken in a much less ceremonious way. Because vampires apparently did not get hung over, he decided to torment his fledgling rather than simply shove her onto the floor. No: Alucard quickly yanked her up by the front of her uniform and screamed at the top of his lungs: "POLICE GIRL! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP, GET UP, GET UPPP! HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! WAKEN AND FACE ME!"

And the poor bobby's eyes snapped open and she screamed back in absolute terror, flailing her arms around and kicking out with her legs. Alucard laughed maniacally and released her roughly, doubling over in his amusement. A furious and embarrassed blush filled her cheeks and she buried her face in her hands. "Master!" she groaned.

During all of this movement, Walter had somehow managed to wake himself up and accidentally tipped over the last remaining chair. With a grunt, the elderly butler dusted himself off and cradled his head in his hands. "I'm too bloody old for this young-person bollocks."

Pip managed to compose himself after hearing the commotion above him, which was a nice way of saying that his soul nearly left his body at the sound of the vampire's spine-chilling, bloodcurdling scream. Deep in his heart of hearts, he wondered if perhaps Alucard had been this manner of insane in his life. Taking a gander around the damaged room, he winced. "So I take it that no one remembers anything of ze night before. Ze last thing I remember is having a little spat with my mignonette."

"I remember the arm-wrestling," Alucard grinned. "I won, Bernadotte." A bead of sweat rolled down Pip's forehead. He had fought with the vampire? And he was not dead?

"I remember the debate over which death was worse: impaling or incineration." After a short pause, Integra concluded that in fact, impaling had won. Her servant never looked so pleased, but only she and Walter knew why.

"I recall a game of musical chairs," Walter supplied, getting a weird look from Alucard. He had played such a childish game? "I also took the lot of you down. Alucard did not want to play such a game." Oh, good. At least he still retained some of his dignity.

"The last thing I remember, we were having that dancing competition," Seras said, and then blushed once more as everyone's eyes fell on her. "I… um… might have won that one…" Scratch that- Alucard really did not want to believe that he had participated in that. If he had, that dignity might be lost forever.

"It's settled then," Alucard stated as he rose to his full height, grabbing the camera. "We need to find out who won the real game. And just how this room was destroyed.

So, guys, give me your feedback! Who do you think woke up the worst way: Alucard (with the torture threat), Integra (with the scare/massive hangover), Pip (with the three-foot-high faceplant on the ground/massive hangover/scare), Seras (With the un-life scared out of her/embarrassment), or Walter (upside down for hours/chair tip/massive hangover)?

Also, thanks so much for the support! Next chapter will be up within the month. Also: can you guys believe it's August already? I'm so disappointed that summer has just been zipping by, but I am also strangely excited for the upcoming new year. It's a vicious cycle: I cherish my freedom, and yet anticipate the disappearance of it! They're already putting Halloween stuff up in my nearby supermarket and it's so depressing/exciting. :/