Title: Trichophilia

Summary: Trichophilia: 1. A paraphilia in which one is sexually aroused by, or extremely fond of, human hair. 2. Any hair-related fetish. Edwards' girlfriends have all had one thing in common; super long brown hair. It's been his obsession since childhood. What happens when the girl who first sparked his Trichophilia returns?

Pairing: E/B

Rating: M

Word Count: 4,800

At five and a half years old, Edward Cullen was in love. His kindergarten teacher noticed first. Pointing to the crayon drawing of two stick figures holding hands, one with short red hair and one wearing a white dress with long brown locks that reached the ground, all surrounded by tiny hearts, she asked, "Edward, is that your mom?"

Edward looked up at her as if she'd lost her mind. "No, you can't marry your mom! That's my babysitter."

Every child was happy at the end of the school day, but none more than Edward. He bobbed out of line, looking for her face, trying his hardest not to break out of the queue to run to her faster. Yesterday she'd worn those big sun glasses, her long brown hair blowing across her pale skin and red lips. The short jean skirt and the striped tights stretching up her legs were his favorites. His favorite-favorite was when they both dressed up for Halloween, her hair wrapped in two buns as Princess Leia, he in a furry costume she'd made with a hooded vest and satchel so he could be his favorite Star Wars character, Wicket the Ewok. He wanted to wear their costumes every day, but she told him, "Then it wouldn't be special."

He was too shy to tell her that every day with her was special. As soon as he spotted her, he'd yell "Princess Leia!" She'd kneel down to give him a hug then hold his hand out to the parking lot.

He held his drawing carefully to give to her, both gift and confession. A while ago her ex-boyfriend had come by the house on a black motorcycle. His worn leather jacket and black mustache scared Edward but she'd yelled at the man on the motorcycle and told him not to come back. Edward needed her to know that he'd be her boyfriend, her friend-friend, her everything.

But she wasn't there. Among the moms, grandmas and nannies picking up his friends stood his father, looking out of place in his blue scrubs.

Edward stalled, looking to either side, hoping she'd be running down the sidewalk, like she'd had two other times, saying "Sorry Ewok, my truck wouldn't start!" Catching her breath she'd hug him, asking, "Will you forgive me?"

Silly question. Of course he'd forgive her. He loved her.

No one was running up the sidewalk or standing by the car. He stopped in front of his father. "Why are you here?"

"Your sitter had an emergency. Let's go."

Turning to the lot, his father started walking to the car.

Edward caught up, his hand stretched out. "You're supposed to hold my hand." His dad shouldn't be picking him up from school if he couldn't remember a simple rule. Sighing, he consoled himself with the thought that Princess Leia would be back tomorrow or at worst the next day.

But she didn't come back. The next day and for the rest of the school year, a white haired woman with soft doughy hands held his as they crossed to the parking lot. This new babysitter didn't even know what an Ewok was.

Eighteen Years Later

For some reason his mother felt his two week summer break was the perfect time to scan all their old photographs into her computer. She was babbling over dinner last night about photobooks one of the women in her office had made. Edward imagined endless embarrassing moments; since he was an only child, without vanity he expected most of the photos were of him and his childish exploits. Some pre-work had been done, Esme's neat print labeled several folders. He couldn't help but open the one labeled 'Girlfriends'. As he flipped through the images, he became conscious of a theme running through all his beaus. Every single one had long, brown hair.

He'd started dating Alice when they were both 15. Listening to music in her room, he enjoyed brushing her waist length brown hair, as much as he enjoyed kissing her. They never got any farther. For her 16th birthday her mother took her on a shopping trip to New York City where she also got a makeover at some famous hair salon on 5th avenue. As soon as Edward saw Alice's chopped short hairdo, he dumped her. He probably should have waited until they were home from the airport.

Freshman year he was locked out of his room by a 'busy' roommate and spotted a flyer taped in the dorm hallway for a poetry slam. He wasn't much for poetry but was captivated by a poet, Victoria. She was dressed in black from her Doc Marten boots to her torn and pinned-back-together-with-safety-pins mini dress. He ignored her clothes, the barbed wire tattoos around her arm and neck, the two dozen piercings, too enraptured was he by her almost black brown hair that swept down in waves to her ass. Again, playing with her hair, creating elaborate braided hairstyles was their foreplay. Victoria didn't have a job, didn't go to school, yet seemed to have unlimited funds. Six months into their relationship she called Edward, ranting that her mother was going to 'cut her off if changes weren't made.' When she pulled up at Edwards' dorm, he recognized the BMW convertible, but not the red haired woman stepping out of it. He couldn't look at her face, he only had eyes for her long hair—hair that was now the wrong color.

"She made you dye your hair?" He reached out a hand but couldn't bring himself to touch it. Victoria wrapped herself around Edward, apparently not noticing that he didn't return the embrace. He could see the top of her ear, for the first time, without a single earring.

"She was going to take my car and stop my allowance. She made me go back to my natural color. I look hideous!"

"You do." Edward pushed her away from his body. He didn't realized what a diligent waxer she was, he'd never noticed a single red thread in her 'carpet.'

"What?" Victoria stared at him, her mouth hanging open. It did not improve her look.

"I can't," Edward backed away, then turned at a full run to his dorm, shouting over his shoulder, "We're done!"

When he met Jessica at the gym, he was careful. As a pre-med major he didn't have much spare time; he didn't want to waste it on a girl who would only desecrate what had attracted him to her in the first place. Standing on the elliptical machine next to the treadmill she used, he examined the part in her hair several times over the course of three weeks to make sure her stunning brunette locks were not chemically created. Satisfied, he invited her to join him at the juice bar.

"Spinach, greek yogurt and guava are excellent for your hair," he said in what he hoped would be a conversational tone after he ordered a smoothie containing all of those ingredients.

"So's salmon, but I'm not getting that in my drink." Jessica shook her head, the waves of hair swishing around her. "Do you think I need it? Don't you like my hair?"

"I love your hair." He took her question as an invitation, and he stroked from her scalp to the soft ends, his cock responding as if he were stroking her bare skin.

Smiling, she bent her neck back, giving the illusion of an extra half foot of hair.

"Would you ever…" He didn't even like to say the word, but he had to know. "Cut it?" When she didn't answer, he filled in the silence. "I mean, if you were going to donate your hair for 'Locks of Love' or something?" She still looked confused, so he explained. "It's an organization that collects hair to make into wigs for children with diseases that cause hair loss."

"No." She smoothed back her hair with both hands. "I've worked too hard for this hair and this body to just give it away." She pushed out her, admittedly, very nice round breasts, running her hand down from her head to her ass. "Don't you think?"

He couldn't think, he could only feel that at last he'd found the perfect woman for him. She was never going to cut her hair. He didn't mind the hours she spent in the gym, at least it gave her something to do while he was studying. She was also extremely flexible, allowing for several sexual positions where he could achieve penetration while holding onto her hair with both hands. Those stolen hours were bliss.

It happened on a Saturday. Running through the park Jessica, wearing a hot pink sports bra and tiny Spandex shorts, ran slightly ahead of him, the better for him to appreciate the sway of her high ponytail and tight thighs. Stopping for water they watched a pregnant mother pushing a stroller with a sleeping toddler inside, the woman pausing to cover the boy with a little blue blanket, her enormous stomach bumping into the stroller.

Edward was about to mention how sweet the scene was but Jessica spoke first. "Disgusting, ugh. I can't watch that." Jessica turned around and stretched slowly, Edward thought, needlessly arching her back so her boobs was better displayed.

The mother and the stroller continued down the path. When Edward was sure they were out of earshot, he asked Jessica, "Don't you want to have kids?"

"You're kidding." She slapped her six pack abs. "And ruin all this?" She cupped her breasts. "And let these get all saggy? No way, no how."

He waited until the next day, to see if he could rid himself of the dream of little brown-haired children and a mother who knelt down to hug them, before he broke up with Jessica.

He flipped over the last picture. Angela was a fourth year med student specializing in anesthesiology. He'd been careful, examining her hair, pointing out small children and pregnant ladies to a favorable response, and inquiring delicately how she felt about short hair.

"I grew up on Hawaii, and I always loved the long hair of the Hula dancers. I used to Hula when I was little."

Which led to a request for an authentic hula dance, which involved her wearing only a grass skirt and a few flowers, her sensuous long straight hair skimming her hips as she danced. That was one of the more erotic moments of his life, not captured in any photograph but burned in his memory. Angela could cook too, roast pork and at least ten dishes involving pineapple and/or macadamia nuts. She was perfect, until that Saturday.

She buckled her seat belt and waited until he was in the car. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." Edward beamed. He'd bought tickets weeks ago, as soon as he'd heard about the showing of all three of the original Star Wars movies, in the new theater with the comfy seats. It wasn't easy to clear the day so they both could go, but he'd begged and bribed people as needed to make it happen. He'd wanted to wrestle up some costumes, but that would have ruined the surprise. He brought tee-shirts they could slip on. Hers had a picture of Princess Leia holding a weapon with the words, 'I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain!' Edward's shirt looked like Chewbacca's chest with an ammo belt slung across on the diagonal. He intentionally left his hair extra wild for the event.

"I'm kind of hungry babe, does this surprise involve food?"

"Sure thing Princess."

He couldn't wait. There would be a short intermission between each film with food: In the morning, Luke Skywaffles, in the afternoon, Han-burgers on Obi-buns and Frozen Yoda-gurt and Wookie-Cookies for dessert.

As they drove past the banners hanging outside the theater, some people in costume already lined up, Edward smiled waiting for her reaction.

Angela looked up and down the sidewalk. "Can you believe these weirdos? I don't know what anyone sees in those movies, like grow up already people."

It had been a few months since the Star Wars debacle. Edward had poured himself into his studies to the point of exhaustion, benefitting his GPA as well as his sympathy quota from his mom, who was outdoing herself with breakfast making cinnamon buns, French toast, bacon and omelets. His father had less sympathy, having done the same when he was in school, except according to Edward's dad, medical students 'studied 48 hours a day, 366 days a year, without these pansy breaks' such as Edward was currently enjoying. He ignored his father's harrumphing at all the carbohydrates on the table, and focused on consuming a few thousand calories dipped in syrup. He wasn't paying attention until the tail end of his mother's story.

"She looks almost exactly the same as she did when she was Edward's babysitter. After all these years she comes back to—"

"Wrahat diggh—"

"Edward, don't talk with your mouth full!" His mother patted her mouth with her napkin. "That's disgusting."

Grabbing the freshly squeezed orange juice Edward took a big gulp to clear his throat, but the maple syrup made the orange juice taste toxic. His instinct was to spit the mouthful out but he forced himself to swallow, then slurped his coffee to offset the sugar overload. His mother was already rambling about a new trail clearing project her 'Friends of the Parks' group was sponsoring.

"Mom, were you talking about Mrs. Connor?" Memories of squashy pale hands and big flowery dresses filled his mind. Surely this was the babysitter his mother was talking about, the other was too much to hope for.

"No, Mrs. Connor never left town, she still lives in the same house."

It was on the tip of his tongue to blurt out 'Princess Leia is back!' but he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of his parents. Really, he thought, how many twenty three year olds still harbored a secret crush on their babysitter?

"She opened a health food store, all organic. That's where I got the maple syrup."

"It's good." He picked up the maple syrup bottle, hoping there'd be a tag with the stores' address. There was a small sticker that read $15.99. "Comes from Vermont."

"Yes, yes it does." His mother took her empty plate and stood. "I need to get this cleaned up, I have a meeting—"

Edward cut her off. "I'll take care of it."

"Who are you and what have you done with my son?" Esme put her hand on his forehead. "No fever."

His father looked up from the last of his omelet. "Es, the boy finally offers to do some dishes. Let him."

As she moved to leave the room she said to her husband, "Feel free to jump in and help Carlisle."

Carlisle laughed, rising from his seat with his coffee mug in hand. "I wouldn't want to diminish his contribution. Clean away Edward."

Stacking the dishes on the counter, Edward finished the last piece of French toast folded in half in his hand, dipping the corner into the remnants of maple syrup left on his plate as he refined his plan. As soon as his mothers' car left the driveway he started searching through her stash of plastic bags under the sink, hoping that one held the receipt. As he looked he realized, Organic food store—probably not using plastic bags. In the pantry his mother had a stash of reusable grocery bags. Rifling through the totes there were birds, barns, an American Flag, but nothing from an organic food store in Forks. He felt like slapping himself. He took out his phone and punched in a quick search. In a second he had an address for "Forks-Full of Goodness Organic Foods."

Slipping his phone into his pocket he picked up his keys from their hook and moved towards the backdoor.

His father had come back into the kitchen and was refilling his mug. "And where are you going?"

"I, uh, have to get something in town." He wasn't stupid enough to explain to his father that he thought maybe his love for his former babysitter was screwing with his ability to maintain an adult relationship and that he was going to see if she wanted to, if she wanted to… he wasn't even sure what he wanted to do with her. What if his mother was just being polite and she didn't really look the same? In any case, he needed to find out. Maybe she'd put some teen girl mojo on him and seeing her middle aged self would cancel out the spell. "I'll be back soon."

"I don't think so." Waving at the counter and table, Carlisle said, "You told your mother you'd take care of this. Now, chop chop."

Was their little downtown always this crowded? Edward couldn't remember having to drive for so long to find a parking spot. He'd driven past the tiny store with the freshly painted sign but there wasn't an empty space on the whole street. Maybe this was an omen. He'd been talking himself into and out of the idea the entire drive. She'd been a senior in high school, so at most she was thirteen years older, possibly twelve. That was far from an insurmountable number. Maybe it wasn't her hair that he wanted, maybe it was the whole package; her sweet smile, loving disposition. She'd taken him seriously when he read to her, never let him just win at chess, patiently and seriously answered his questions, baked cookies for him, held his hand during thunderstorms. Maybe that was just because she was a good babysitter, but he had to find out if there was something else. He'd just decided to circle the block one more time before abandoning his mission when he saw her. He couldn't help himself and stomped on the brake, the car squealing to a stop in the middle of the street. He watched as she walked carrying a box, her long brown hair blowing in the wind behind her, denim shorts showing smooth bare legs. He could only see her from the back but he had no doubt from her stride that this was his Princess Leia about to cross the street. He'd be able to see her face in another second and—

HONK! HONK! The driver behind him expressed his displeasure, giving Edward the one finger salute, forcing him to move his car. Edward searched his rearview mirror as he drove, one hand pulling his red hair, but his Princess was gone.

Three blocks over he finally found room to park. He walked past store after store with their goods displayed all over the sidewalk. It was some kind of 'Shop Local Saturday' thing, now he remembered his mother mentioning it. The streets were packed with shoppers strolling lazily, conspiring to block him from his destination.

"Edward. Edward!" He recognized the voice of Alice's mother. She was still trying to get the two of them back together, but last he'd heard, Alice was living in New York City and going by the name of Alan. He was fairly confident Alice/Alan's mother didn't know.

He nodded his head as she babbled, until he couldn't take it anymore. "Yeah, um. Say hi to Al when you see…Al."

Keeping his head low he avoided talking to any other neighbors, former classmates or former girlfriends and made it to Forks-Full of Goodness. He decided he would not comment on the name, maybe all the good names were taken when she incorporated her business. A huge dreamcatcher hung on the door, which was propped open by a burlap sack marked 'organic potatoes'. The shelves were crowded with jars of honey and honey comb, handmade soaps in pastel baskets, jam jars covered with squares of gingham and tied with twine. He had no idea there were so many combinations of chutney, from where he stood he could see mango pineapple, ginger peach, apple guava—

"Is that my little Ewok, all grown up? I'd recognize that hair anywhere!"

He smiled, savoring her sweet voice, but stopped himself from turning around. This could be the moment that changed his life, and he wanted to savor it. How many people meet their soul mates at five and a half? This was momentous.

He turned, his arms out to greet the love of his life who was a very round woman in a long batik pattern dress with black cat glasses and short purple hair. She had her arms out too. "Give me a hug Edward."

He wrapped his arms around her lightly but she gave him a good, solid hug, the kind he'd get from his mother after she hadn't seen him in a few weeks. It felt good but disproportionate. Their last hug they shared he only reached her waist and now her head barely reached his chin. "Princess Leia?"

"Oh, no one's called me that in ages." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the back of the store. "I think you can start calling me Renee. There's someone I want you to meet.

Setting muffins into a basket on the counter was teenage Renee's clone, the girl he'd seen on the street. Her eyes were brown instead of Renee's blue, but by every other measure it was if his babysitter had walked out of a time machine.

"And this is my daughter, Bella. I'm sure you know by now, she's the reason I had to leave. This town was very narrow minded eighteen years ago."

Struck stupid, Edward could only stare.

"Baby, this is Edward, the boy I told you about, I was his babysitter. His mother, Esme, was in yesterday."

"Sure. Hi." The girl looked Edward up and down, and after she placed the last muffin in the basket reached her hand out to shake his but he didn't reciprocate.

He still couldn't bring himself to speak much less move.

Bella pulled her hand back and picked up another container of muffins. Nodding towards Edward she asked her mother, "He's the one in medical school? Or was that someone else?"

"Of course that's him." Renee dropped his hand to turn some jars so the labels all faced the same way. "Bella does all the baking, and she makes the strawberry and cherry conserves. We had quite a business in Arizona."

A trim man with a graying mustache wearing a khaki uniform appeared from the back of the store, carrying a box. "Ren, where do you want this stuff."

"Charlie!" Renee grabbed the man by the arm, dragging him towards Edward. "This is the little boy I used to babysit, remember you rode past his house once."

Edward remembered wanting to hurl rocks at the evil man who made Renee cry. His brown hair was receding leaving a sunburned crescent of forehead that extended halfway up his head and wrinkles fanned from his eyes, but no doubt this was the same idiot that broke his babysitters' heart. How is it that he has a place in her life, while Edward was the awkward outsider? At least mustache man was still holding the carton, meaning Edward didn't have to reveal that he had no intention of shaking the hand of the man that took his Princess away from him.

"Yeah, hi." The man turned away from Edward. "Ren, my shift starts in half an hour. Do you need anything else before I go in?"

Edward looked more closely at the man, noting the police insignia on his shirt. The irony that this miscreant was a police officer was—

"Charlie is the new chief of police." Renee smiled, still holding the man's arm. "Isn't that crazy, that we wound up back here!"

Crazy wasn't the word Edward had in mind. Unjust, certifiable, ironic, inconceivable—

"Babe, I got to go." Charlie kissed Renee's cheek and put the box on the counter. "B, figure out where this goes."

"Sure Charlie."

Charlie stopped, and stared at the girl. "Dad."

"Ok, Dad." Bella rolled her eyes and began opening the box.

"Bella wanted to take summer classes, but I think she needed a chance to settle into Forks, don't you think?" Renee took a quick breath then began again. "That girl is always studying, I tried to tell her that life isn't all about books. She graduated early from high school you know."

"I did too." Edward glanced at the girl, who was loading her arms with candles.

"He speaks." Bella brushed past him, barely looking at him. "I was beginning to think you were mute."

"I just talk too much." Renee eyed Edward. "This is where you're supposed to say 'that's not true' or some other polite lie."

Edward didn't know what to say, "Oh, I…"

"Just teasing." Renee picked up one of the muffins, pushing it into his hands. "Try this. If you thought I was a good baker..." She rolled her eyes and nodded to her daughter.

Bella shook her head, still lining up candles. "Baking is just chemistry. Use the right ingredients, measure carefully and pay attention to the recipe."

There was something about her no nonsense tone that appealed to him. Girls were always trying to get his attention, after all he was a medical student from an affluent family and fairly good looking to boot, but this girl barely acknowledged he was on the same planet. Feisty- that was the word. She was smart, she could cook, she had the hair—all in all she really was perfect for him. He reached over to the box of candles and carried it to where she crouched, realizing too late that the shelf was full.

"Yes, I would have brought the box myself if I wanted more." She took the box from his hand and folded in the flaps, placing it out of sight behind the counter. "Mom, what else?"

"Baby why don't you take a break? I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind showing you around town."

"I don't know that he can spare the five minutes." She stood and stared at him, her brown eyes trying to convey a message he couldn't decode.

Clearing his throat Edward tried to make a better impression. "I'd be happy to. There's a coffee shop—"

"Coffee Corral? I was there yesterday." Baily pulled a fluffy feathery thing on a long stick from behind the counter and started dusting the chutney.

"Bella Marie, those jars did not get dirty in the half hour they've been sitting there." Renee took the duster from her daughter's hand and pushed her out towards Edward and the door. "Don't make those child labor people come after me. Go."

"Mom." Bella crossed her arms.

"Now you're messing up the energy in the store. No arguing, now I'm going to open some essential oils to balance the negativity. Maybe you need a Reiki massage-"

Bella took off towards the door, waving her mother away. "I'm going."

Edward looked at Renee, but she was shooing him out the door as well. He tripped over the bag of potatoes in the doorway and looked up and down the sidewalk as he recovered. Bella was at the corner crossing the street. He bounded a few quick paces until he was next to her. She didn't say a word until they were halfway down the next block.

Bella stopped and turned to him. "Okay, she can't possibly see us. You can go about your business."

"I don't mind showing you around."

"I don't need to be shown around. I could hold my breath and make it around half this town. Your Dudley Do-Right routine is done. Go back to wherever you came from." She stepped around him and continued down the street.

Edward followed, dodging the tables set up on the sidewalk, a trash can and a stroller, trying to keep up with her as she wove through the crowded walkway. "Maybe I want to get to know you. You don't know anyone in town, right?"

"Nor do I plan to. I'm off to finish college, then medical school. I have no intention—"

"You can't just assume you're getting into medical school, first you—"

"I graduated high school in two years, I got a perfect score on the SATs, 99th percentile on the practice MCATs I took last year. I will be going to medical school. I will not be wasting anytime establishing relationships in this silly little town. Understand?"

She strode away.

This was some sort of nightmare, Edward determined. The object of his obsession had morphed almost completely from sweet teen to hippie earth mother. The villain got the girl, and their offspring was beautiful, there was no doubt, but where Renee had been all sweetness and gentle smiles, this girl had a sharpness he could still feel scarifying his skin. Her scorn for him couldn't be clearer, and yet…she looked like the girl he'd been trying to find his whole life.

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