Requested by Anonymous: fire extinguisher (malec)

It's a blissfully normal day until the moment he steps into their loft, once again. The second he opens the door, slipping off his boots as he drops his bow by the weird-looking plant Magnus insists on keeping, it goes from ordinary to 'oh, God, just what the hell has he gotten himself into'.

Because there is his boyfriend and his apparent son dancing around the loft while tossing glitter in the air and yeah, Alec's not even going to mention the fact that the curtains are on fire.

He groans, throwing his hands up in the air and dropping his bow with a thud against the hardwood floors. Which, he observes as he glances down to check that his weapon isn't actually damaged, are streaked with even more glitter. Alec shakes his head, breathing in deep and out slow as he reminds himself for the billionth time in the past week that Magnus has his good traits, too, and he truly does love him.

It doesn't really work.

"I'm so done," he exclaims, dropping his hands and walking right past the scene of the crime without a second glance. He doesn't even want to know what the hell was going on there.

"Wait!" he hears his boyfriend call out after him. "Alec, darling! This isn't what it looks like!"

He chokes out a sort of disbelieving laugh at that, not even bothering to turn back around as he moves towards the bedroom. "It looks like you're insane. Which, I'll have you know, you undoubtedly are."

"Hey!" Magnus feigns hurt, clasping the hand that isn't holding a small child to his chest over his heart. "That's not true!"

Alec merely raises a single judgmental eyebrow at him and hikes his foot up on the bed frame to remove the seraph blades strapped to his calf. The baby lets out a gurgle before sharp cries fill the room and Magnus's desperate voice reaches out to soothe him, rocking the infant back and forth more gently than Alec has ever seen him. It almost makes his heart warm, before he remembers the mess the two of them have made of their loft.

"Magnus," he sighs out, reaching his hands out in preparation to take the child. "You know the curtains are still on fire, right?"

His boyfriend gasps, shoving their supposed son right into his waiting arms and flying out of the room, screaming about how he'd just snapped those in from India, for fuck's sake. Sighing, Alec gives the baby in his arms an exasperated look, wondering how in the world this is his life.

It's at the same time that Magnus gives a whoop of triumph from the living room that their child decides this is the opportune moment to wriggle free from his father's arms and make a wild dash for the seraph blades still sitting on the bed.

"Oh my God!" Alec cries out, suddenly panicked as little grabby hands reach for big sharp sword things that could very easily tumble off the bed and onto a very fragile tiny human. He swoops up his son in one fluid motion, clutching him tight to his chest as his heartbeat skyrockets, before casting his gaze to the ceiling.

Cursing the angel under his breath, he takes a moment to collect himself and gather what little patience he has left before moving to face the mess his boyfriend has made of their loft.

Honestly. Magnus is supposed to be centuries his senior.