EDIT 8/13/15: You may have notice that in the summary for this fic, it no longer says "Series of one-shots." This is because although you can read most of the chapters separately from the others without much confusion (unless it's one of the part 1/part 2-type chapters I have planned), the chapters sort of go together in some loose/vague/possibly-nonexistent plot, so they're NOT EXACTLY one-shots . . .

Prussia: "Hey, quit rambling already and skip to the story! That's pretty unawesome of you, you know."

Yeah, yeah. Let's do this!

Summary: In which America discusses many, MANY things, France and England attempt to strangle each other, Monaco strikes it rich, and Hungary is the victim of several nosebleeds. Basically, it's just another day in the world of Hetalia.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

America's Elections

It was a typical World Meeting. China was venting to Panda over America's debt; Hungary was chatting with Liechtenstein, pointedly ignoring Switzerland's I'd-shoot-you-but-that-would-only-traumatize-my-little-sister-even-further glare as he reached for the gun strapped to his back; France and Britain were attempting to strangle each other near the door as other nations took bets on the winner.

A multitasking Russia was simultaneously thoroughly intimidating the Baltics with his purple aura and crushing Kumajiro and What's-His-Face's bones, not that anyone noticed . . . erm . . . whoever that guy is. Germany had briefly given up on restoring order and was busy facepalming in the corner while Italy tried to restore his spirits with offers of pasta, though paused to duck behind a chair and rapidly wave his white flag for the fifty-seventh time that morning when Russia turned and looked him in the eye.

Suddenly, the door opened near France and Britain as America—late as usual—and Japan—late as unusual—strode in.

". . . and he totally ignored me! I mean dude, what's up with that?"

"Wow America-san, your elections are always so interesting."

"You bet, bro!"

At this, the room abruptly froze over and turned to stare at the pair. Even France and Britain paused their quarreling—a few of the nations who had been betting on the outcome sighed/grumbled/sniffed/swore revenge as they reluctantly handed their money over to a smug-looking Monaco—and Switzerland had his hands over his sister's ears, his glare redirected to Japan.

"N-nani?" Japan sweatdropped, noticing the unnaturally quiet room, "What did I say?"

Really, though, it was less of what he said than how he said it. While Turkey, Greece, America, and the other Axis Powers had been with Japan long enough to understand what he meant, the rest failed to convert the "r" sound in his speech to the "l" in "elections", which meant . . . yeah. You understand?

Finally, Britain cleared his throat. "I, uh, did not realize that you paid attention to such things, Japan."

"Elections?" the confused nation asked, causing many of the others to wince and Switzerland's glare to further intensify, if that was even possible—he seemed to be seriously contemplating whether or not to forgo his neutrality. "It is true that I did not observe them as much before, but since America-san and I are 'bros', as he calls it, I have been seeing them much more recently. Still, I must say that I haven't quite gotten over the size and scale of those events."

"Yeah, we're big on that stuff," America agreed, remaining blissfully oblivious as the other nations gawked at him, surprised at the younger nation's openness on the subject. They knew he could be audacious at times, but this was just absurd.

Hungary, feeling a nosebleed induced by her yaoi mindset coming on, nudged Austria, who sighed internally but passed her a handful of tissues anyway, which she graciously accepted. Meanwhile, Britain asked himself where he went wrong with the boy; next to him, France, who was thinking along the same lines, silently cheered over how Angleterre was the more perverted of the two after all, if they were to go by young Amerique as evidence—after all, his ex-colony Canada didn't go on about . . .

He felt someone nudge him, and turned to see Hungary offering him some of her tissues. Wordlessly, he accepted, thinking how perhaps he should wait a little longer before giving Britain the official title of "More Creepy and Eerie and Pervy than Moi".

Seeing their expressions, Japan hastily added in an attempt to reassure them, "Do not worry, though, for I have been trying to keep up with the affairs of other nations as well."

Of course, this did nothing in helping alleviate their stupor.

"Excuse me, Japan, but I have not witnessed America having one of these . . . events before," Hungary shamelessly cut in before anyone else could react; Austria stared at her in bewilderment, yet she continued, "so I was wondering if you could please elaborate."

"Sure I can. Really?"

"Dude, if it's about me, shouldn't I be the one to tell it? Plus, they usually put it on TV anyway—it's in the news and everything! If you're really so interested, you can probably just search it up."

Britain seemed to gag. "Are you saying it's on the internet?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing, Angleterre," France mused.

"Shut it, frog!"

"Well duh, of course it's on the internet," said America; while most of the nations seemed stunned at this, France and Hungary and probably be more accurately classified under "inappropriately enthusiastic". "Why wouldn't it be? After all, they only happen every four years."

And then the room erupted.

"YEARS?"

"That seems to be quite a long time, comrade. Care to become one in the meantime?"

"Russia, that aura is creeping me out! Stop it, aru!"

"Sorry, my bad."

"It would also be helpful if you got off me . . . maple . . ."

"Years, mate? I'll tell you, I'm impressed."

"How the bloody hell does that even work?"

"Well, my bosses—"

"Ohonhonhon, so that's what causes it?"

"Um, yeah."

"What? You git, you can't go around having those with . . . for every boss!"

"Do you have more tissues, Austria?"

"Sorry, I'm all out. Wait, how did you find more so fast?"

"I have my ways."

"Dude, I already explained this to you two hundred years ago, chillax! It's just part of my procedure!"

"Really?" Britain's voice was laced with sarcasm now, "Since I can't seem to recall you telling me about Florida's actions having anything to do with your bosses."

Switzerland abruptly stood from his chair, frowning. "That's it, I'm leaving. How fun. Liechtenstein?"

"Oh, but you can't leave early!" Hungary exclaimed, latching on to Liechtenstein with one hand while the other was still fruitlessly trying to stop her nosebleed with a wad of tissues. "It's just getting interesting!"

"There's no need to worry, Hungary. If something happens, you can still tell me later."

"No, you can't!" snapped Switzerland. "Now come along."

"What do you mean, 'Florida's actions'?" America frowned. "All my states get a say in it! I told you, we've gone over this—they're all vital to the democracy!"

It took a while for Britain to recompose himself at this, waving his arms in the air in frustration, "Y-you twat! How are all of them vital regions?"

"Isn't it common knowledge, though?" Greece yawned, having finally woken up and petting a—wait, how did he sneak in a cat? Turkey gave the slightest nod in agreement, though refused to verbally acknowledge being on the same side as the sleepy nation.

Italy nodded as well. "Ve, I thought everybody knew, right Germany?"

"Ja."

"Are you saying you wankers were all in on this?"

"Mm, it's how America chooses his Presidents," said Greece, staring off into the distance.

"That's total bollocks! Everyone knows that the Presidents are chosen through elections, not er—"

The room fell silent.

"Oh."

A/N: First fic, whoo! Poor Japan, though . . . Anyhow, this fic is probably going to be a series of one-shots, as said in the summary. Hope you enjoy!